21. Queen of Foals (Fausticorn poetry)
A Story in Stones, by lysok
I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said—Four vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk a shattered visage lies alone,
Whose gentle smile, and hint of knowing wink,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet spring forth, passed on through pen and ink,
In every lowly village in that land;
And on the pedestal, these words appear:
“Let this statue sink into the sand,
Let desert zephyrs scour these scribings bare,
If my dreams still peek from eyes of foals,
Then what for stone or statue should I care?
I spent my years on small and foolish things,
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
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the inclusion of classic poetry is always a welcome sight on this site.
That was a lovely inversion.
I'm not a big fan of poetry usually, and I was unfamiliar with the original work, but after reading both I have to say this is awesome. It really embodies what makes fanfiction great. Both in the sense that it is a great piece of fanfiction, and it is about the power of a creator to inspire others being a more important legacy than any individual work.
I'm frustrated by my inability to tell what you've done to the form. Still, a wonderful tribute to the creatrix. (Even if the title sounds like the statue should be of a great and terrible ursine comedian.
)
7219923 Thanks! I really appreciate it.
7220379 The original poem was 14 lines. Poems are nearly always an even number of lines (except haiku, and probably some other form I'm not thinking of), because they're made of repeated patterns, and even the sub-patterns usually have an even # of lines in order to match up rhymes. The original poem has a weird rhyme scheme, though: ABABACDCEDEFEF . It's so disjointed that I felt it didn't matter if I switched it around and threw in an extra line: ABABCDCAEAEFEGE . So this poem has 15 lines, which is weird, but I don't think the lack of symmetry is obvious at any one place.
7220777
Really? I noticed that, but I thought it was too obvious.
7223746 Your mind must be too highly trained.
that was lovely; "Ozymandias" is one of my favorite poems, and this was a great inversion
7220709 I missed your answer earlier because you posted it at the same time I was posting mine here: 7220777
"Small and foolish things" is in quotes, so it's on the inscription. That means it refers to the works of the person it's a statue of, which you're supposed to infer is Lauren Faust, though this won't be obvious if you don't recognize the Fausticorn in the picture. Only the first 4 lines are the same as the original poem.
7220379 Oh, the title is lousy. Suggestions welcome.
s2.quickmeme.com/img/64/649f7cb314ae7e78b96858e72d83dd73011fbaec8d90094c676e86da2e935392.jpg
7239173
It may be a bit too obvious, but there's always "Queen of Queens."
7239652 I was thinking of using the word Queen somehow, but I want to contrast with "King of Kings". Maybe something more like "Queen of Fools", tho that's got other problematic connotations.