Call of Duty - Equestrian Warfare Remake

by ScarletMarineCorps

Random 1 - Sgt. Sprinkles Cupcake and 2nd Lt. Lightning Crash

U.E.F. (United Earth Federation)

The Satellite in orbit, Fortress 1, has tracked the characters in Canterlot. The camera feeds shows several soldiers of the United Earth Federation Armed Forces, the Ultranationalist-Loyalist Russian Coalition Armed Forces, the United States Military Expeditionary Fleet, the Russian Federation Military Expeditionary Fleet (nickname for the NSUEF), the MFE, and the Inner Circle and others are setting up some wedding-like stuffs in Canterlot.

"Admiral, what's up with the wedding stuffs going around?" Imran Zakhaev asked 1st Admiral Staff Officer (the appropriate nickname for Expeditionary Admiral) Grant Gerard DuGalle Calliope. "We're setting up the wedding here, there, and there." He said, pointing to the stuffs around the corner. "Father of Colonel Makarov Jr, what's going on?" General Shepherd asked Vladimir A. Makarov, the Father of UEF/USMEF/MFE Colonel Vladimir A. Makarov Jr.

"Well, General, we're preparing for the wedding of Sergeant Sprinkles Cupcake and Second Lieutenant Lightning Crash. You should help us." Makarov Sr. said. "How?" Shepherd asked again. "Well, put every one of this things until we're done." Makarov Sr. replies.

"Uh, sir. We have a problem here." Lt Vasquez said, who caught Captain Sherman's attention. "What is it?" Captain Sherman asked him. "Lieutenant Lightning Crash is heading towards this area. We better seal off any entrances!" Sgt Jackson alarmed. "Great! Now we better send in the Newbie - GENERAL SHEPHERD!" Sherman yells.

"What is it?" General Shepherd asked him. "You better get Shadow Company right here or else Lightning'll find out about this! This wedding preparations must NOT BE INTERCEPTED AND INTERRUPTED!" Sherman yells. "Just go! We'll take care right here"! Sherman added.

"Oxide, this is Gold Eagle. Get Shadow Company down here in Canterlot. We have a major operation here." Shepherd said. "What is it?" Oxide replied. "We've got to stop Lightning Crash from entering so that our friends will finish the wedding preparations." Shepherd replied.

A Perfect Day for a Perfect Wedding
Wedding Day - 07:23:01AM
Captain Grant D.V. Sherman
USMC/USMEF 4th Marine Expeditionary Force
Canterlot and Ponyville, Equestria

"All soldiers, be advised - do not let her enter the room! I repeat: do NOT let HER ENTER THE FUCKING ROOM! Drive her away or we're fucked. Do you all hear me?!" Captain Sherman tells them. "SIR YES SIR!" The soldiers replied. "Now let's get inside our damn Humvees, M1 Abrams, AH-6, LAV-26 (the UEF/USMEF variant of the LAV-25), and those goddamn US Armed Forces vehicles, aircrafts, and helicopters!" Sherman tells them, brutally. "SIR YES SIR!" The soldiers replied.

"And cut the SIR-YES-SIR thing! I'm the captain, not the god-damned President!" Sherman said. "And we better sealed off every entrances and exits that will lead to the room!" he added. "SIR YES SIR!" The soldiers yells, much to Sherman's dismay. The unicorn was now in a deep, deep dismay because of his soldiers. "Dammit, men. I told you not to say that!" He yells at his men. "SIR YES..... uh..... of course sir!" They replied back. "Good!" He said.

Arriving at Canterlot, a UEF soldier tells them to get into the bunkers. "Alright folks, zis's thee marriage of Sergeant Sprinkles Cupcake und 2nd Lieutenant Lightning Dust. So get to it!" Heinrich said.

Several Minutes later

"Damn, ya look like an Australian in a MARPAT outfit. Cause you are here, you look nothing like a Frenchguy." Griggs said. "Seriously, DJ Bitch? Do you think I'm Engelhorn?!" Sherman seriously yells. "Jeez, sorry man." Griggs apologizes. "Hurry up. This shit ain't gonna stand!" Sherman counters. 30 seconds later, Sherman (aka Star Shermane) alongside Princess Platinum and Commander Hurricane are having a conversation. "So, a wedding for Sergeant Sprinkles Cupcake and Second Lieutenant Lightning Crash? What on Earth?" He asked them confusingly. "Yes, Captain Star Shermane. You see, Admiral Borealis Sparkler-Star (pony name for Admiral Calliope) and Vice Admiral Ushanka Mosin-Starkovsky (pony name for Admiral der Militaer Vassily) have organized a wedding for the two. Because he wants them married, he will be so happy like he'll scream "I'M SO HAPPY!" in joy." Commander Hurricane explained.

"However, Captain. The reason why he wants me and Commander Hurricane to tell these is because you better start preparing things now. Do you have your medals and awards?" Princess Platinum said. "Of course, I have the UEF Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal, the Federal War on Crisis Expeditionary Medal, and the Gold Gammadon. Vladimare A. Manekarov Jr. (pony name for Vladimir Aleksander Makarov Jr.) has the same medals, but he has an Army Distinguished Service Medal or some shit. Kelly (Admiral Calliope's nickname) has the UEF Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal, the UEF Federal War on Crisis Expeditionary medal, and the Silver Gammadon. Ushanka has three Bronze Gammadons, the Crux de Peace, the UEF Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal, and the UEF Federal War on Crisis Expeditionary Medal." He explained more about the medals being put on several personnel of the UEF Armed Forces. However, the two's eyes are twitching, as he kept talking. "And you should know that Ushanka had me doing lame ol' stuffs." He finished.

"Thanks..... for telling..... all of those to us." Both the two said, now paralyzed by his words. "What?" Shermane asked. "You've.... paralyzed us..........." The two said. The three were meet by their friends, Borealis Sparkler-Star, Ushanka Mosin-Starkovsky, Chancellor Puddinghead, Smart Cookie, Clover the Clever, and others. "Is it ready?" Shermane asked. They shook their heads.. "Good, now let's get to it!" Shermane said, with them following him. Arriving at the hall, Captain Shermane gave the boost to all by telling them the right way. "DawnStar, prep those spotlights on the ceiling! Hazel Lulamoon and Iniduoh place those Microphones in the front of where Admiral Borealis is! Oi, Chrysalis! Put those things there! Princesses Rosetta, Stella, Galaxia, and Iridia; get on that cannon and blast that silo made out of wool! On the double! MOVE!" He ordered.

7 minutes later

"Alright, let's prepare these sons of marriage moving!" Admiral Calliope said. To Borealis' right was the Mane Six alongside the Royal Equestrian Military personnel, the ultranationalists, etc. and to his right where Sergeant Sprinkles Cupcake's aide-de-camps are. To the top-left of the crowd was Mister Brown who says, "I hereby declared, that 2nd Lieutenant Lightning Crash will be walking now. PEERAH! And so forth, open the door!" The two guards - one of them was Vassily's Elite Guard and the other was an Equestrian Royal Guard - opens the door which reveals to be 2nd Lieutenant Lightning Crash. After arriving in front of the Admiral (nother nickname for Borealis/Kelly), he says, "Do you take Sprinkles Cupcake to be your wedded husband to love and honor so help you Cadenza?" Lightning Crash replies, "Sir, I do." "Do you take Lightning Crash to be your wedded wife to love and honor so help ye Cadenza?" He asked Cupcake.

"Sir, I do." Sprinkles said. "Now, you will be combined by Love!" He said, hitting his desk. "Those who have any questions speaketh or forevery hold ye peace." Borealis said. "Sir, I do have some." The words came from Ushanka. "And what could your reason be?" He asked, with Vassily replying "Queen Chrysalis was feeding on Sprinkles Cupcake and Lightning Crash's love, sir!" This caused Kelly to be mad and yells, "OH FOR CRYING------- TELL HER TO STOP IT! IMMEDIATELY!" His mad expression subsided as Commander Hurricane and Princess Platinum tells him, "Sir, the couple's getting impatient. Tell them the part where they both kiss!" This cause him to say, "Oh right! You're now mare and colt! You may now kiss the bride!" Ushanka himself looked at Twilight Sparkle crying, with her mother comforting her, saying, "Don't worry. This is just a wedding." All were looking at the two, but Ushanka again broke the silence. "Sir, Chrysalis was at it again!" Ushanka said. "TELL HER TO STOP IT SO THAT THEY CAN LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!" Admiral Borealis yells, again.

Author's Note:

Every OCs belongs to their respective owners of their Ask-Pony Blogs and.... others.

Achievements unlocked:
Yellin' Kelly:
Let Ushanka tell Borealis that Chrysalis was feeding on the couple's love,
tell him again, then look at Kelly annoyingly yelling at him to stop her from doing
those again.