Sins are never left forgotten. For the Royal Sister, one haunts them every day and leaves them wondering if something could have been done. Well they will find out their sin is not forgotten. It is alive, changed and angry. It is their lover.
Cute, also I do wonder when those two are going to show up to him, because I want to see him giving those two a scolding of a life time from all the pain he has to deal with for his entire life.
Celestia will be the first to show up in chapter nine, but the plot of them getting him back will be up to you and the other readers.
Should it happen though; well let's just say Sin is going to get the ultimate revenge for what they did, and by 'ultimate revenge' I mean the mean entire world will know.
yeah at them but not kill them, let forgiveness take path for this hero and make blood bath with the evil four or but them in jail. thats so low even for them. so make peace with them not more hatred plz and heat season come and make it ditty
Okay i have a few things. There isn't a lot of interactions between Sin and his kids, this was my main complain in the original, the moment Cadence came in you ditched the kids, did a time skip and went directly for Cadence and Sin. Even now you're just going straight for Skyla and her mom, hope to see more Dad, kids actions in the next chapters, to build a proper relationships between them. The next thins is Sin curse, il be blunt, you just ditch it in a half-assed way, just saying it got old and doesn't work no more. This makes Sin and Candy relationship a bit less meaningful as now he can have any mare he desires, hell with his looks he, skills and reputation he can have every mare. The better way would to say that Sin curse doesn't affect Candy because she an Alicorn, when the curse was placed there weren't that many alicorns so it makes more sense, even Candy probably wasn't born yet.
Agreed and understandable. However the "any mare he wants" isn't going to happen. Cadence got lucky with where she's at. Besides, it would ruin everything if he just has a harem of ten or more.
As for the kids, yes I already saw that. I'm working on it and trying to bring in a pegasus into the story as well.
Might as well, since there is an earth colt, a unicorn, and an alicorn already in the story. To be honest I was thinking along the lines of Dinky, but that will include Ditzy being in the story as well.
Not that it's a problem, I just don't know how that will conflict with the rewrite about Celestia seeing him again.
Okay, this is driving me up a damn wall. Fix your chapters. Get rid of Pipsqueak. You say he's there, but he never has any lines and you never pay any attention to him. I saw you say he spoke up, but then there was no line from him. In fact, there was absolutely nothing to indicate he was even there besides you saying he spoke up (which, again, never happened). Get rid of him if you're not going to write him in.
I am sorry, but I am rewriting this to the original story I first had, involving more characters and a deeper plot that bring Sin to his limits as a person.
I cannot go into details with everything, but I will tell you that the original has another story that is sequel to this, a darker story that revolves around the reason for the alicorn race being so few.
In other words, I'm bringing back my entire idea of a well-written story that will become a saga. Also, another foal will be coming into the story before Luna reveals her dark secret and Chrysalis is found out to be his biological daughter.
Said foal with be a colt, but you'll know more soon enough.
i feel like this story has been changed and restarted like twenty times....but ill continue reading it. i like the rewrite so far. i just want to know why im not getting notifications for the updates?
Spitfire stepped to his side and looked over the counter, curious. Her rump angled to his left leg and nearly split when she pushed against it. The sensation woke her up as Cadance gawked at what was happening to the (1)third-degree burn(1). Sin did not say to Cadance that he could heal as well. She did not say a word to him, neither did Spitfire, not even when his magic engulfed his hand in green and started the healing process.
(1) a third degree burn means that all of the skin, and the tissue under the skin, as been burned beyond the point of recovery. Fortunately, I've never had a third degree burn, but I've had injuries whos severity was considered to be identical to the damage of a second degree burn. If Sin would've suffered a third degree burn, the heat would've been high enough to ignite the wood as well.
Good work, keep it up.
Cute, also I do wonder when those two are going to show up to him, because I want to see him giving those two a scolding of a life time from all the pain he has to deal with for his entire life.
Celestia will be the first to show up in chapter nine, but the plot of them getting him back will be up to you and the other readers.
Should it happen though; well let's just say Sin is going to get the ultimate revenge for what they did, and by 'ultimate revenge' I mean the mean entire world will know.
yeah at them but not kill them, let forgiveness take path for this hero and make blood bath with the evil four or but them in jail. thats so low even for them. so make peace with them not more hatred plz and heat season come and make it ditty
4633801
They're not going to be killed, I won't make it that dark, but there will be a revenge that makes their reputation go down the toilet.
Since I am here now, I must warn you, basically everyone, that this will have moments of creepypasta and grimdark situations much later in the story.
Nothing that will affect the princesses or the mane six though.
"I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIIIS!"
I just thought of obito when rin was killed... interesting
4929298 heh, naruto ftw.
keep the good work up i love ya stories m8
Okay i have a few things.
There isn't a lot of interactions between Sin and his kids, this was my main complain in the original, the moment Cadence came in you ditched the kids, did a time skip and went directly for Cadence and Sin.
Even now you're just going straight for Skyla and her mom, hope to see more Dad, kids actions in the next chapters, to build a proper relationships between them.
The next thins is Sin curse, il be blunt, you just ditch it in a half-assed way, just saying it got old and doesn't work no more.
This makes Sin and Candy relationship a bit less meaningful as now he can have any mare he desires, hell with his looks he, skills and reputation he can have every mare.
The better way would to say that Sin curse doesn't affect Candy because she an Alicorn, when the curse was placed there weren't that many alicorns so it makes more sense, even Candy probably wasn't born yet.
5288167
Agreed and understandable. However the "any mare he wants" isn't going to happen. Cadence got lucky with where she's at. Besides, it would ruin everything if he just has a harem of ten or more.
As for the kids, yes I already saw that. I'm working on it and trying to bring in a pegasus into the story as well.
Might as well, since there is an earth colt, a unicorn, and an alicorn already in the story. To be honest I was thinking along the lines of Dinky, but that will include Ditzy being in the story as well.
Not that it's a problem, I just don't know how that will conflict with the rewrite about Celestia seeing him again.
while having a cup of cup with me.
LOL FUCKING DONE!
Ponies are both racist and cruel
The 'daaaawww' is getting more intense.
Okay, this is driving me up a damn wall. Fix your chapters. Get rid of Pipsqueak. You say he's there, but he never has any lines and you never pay any attention to him. I saw you say he spoke up, but then there was no line from him. In fact, there was absolutely nothing to indicate he was even there besides you saying he spoke up (which, again, never happened). Get rid of him if you're not going to write him in.
I am so confused, is Pipsqueak supposed to exist or not? I just don't know any more.
p.gr-assets.com/540x540/fit/hostedimages/1388853066/7944995.jpg
Godly power, if i had that Shining would be closer to a giraffe than a horse
6341438
6253391
I am sorry, but I am rewriting this to the original story I first had, involving more characters and a deeper plot that bring Sin to his limits as a person.
I cannot go into details with everything, but I will tell you that the original has another story that is sequel to this, a darker story that revolves around the reason for the alicorn race being so few.
In other words, I'm bringing back my entire idea of a well-written story that will become a saga. Also, another foal will be coming into the story before Luna reveals her dark secret and Chrysalis is found out to be his biological daughter.
Said foal with be a colt, but you'll know more soon enough.
sweet drawings of Sin where did you get em
So sin looks like riku
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/415/209/3b4.png
this story now has my full attention
i feel like this story has been changed and restarted like twenty times....but ill continue reading it. i like the rewrite so far. i just want to know why im not getting notifications for the updates?
orig11.deviantart.net/6f1c/f/2014/070/0/4/go_on____meme_version__by_wubcakeva-d79uwz6.png
i want to see someone get a restraining order against ponka
(1) a third degree burn means that all of the skin, and the tissue under the skin, as been burned beyond the point of recovery. Fortunately, I've never had a third degree burn, but I've had injuries whos severity was considered to be identical to the damage of a second degree burn. If Sin would've suffered a third degree burn, the heat would've been high enough to ignite the wood as well.