Derpy Hooves hasn’t had much luck in life. Aside from having a bad set of eyes and being a poor flier, she isn’t exactly the best at working her job. All she wants is love, a stallion who will accept and love her for being the pony she is.
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I sort of expected this, but honestly I'm surprised Thunderlane went as far as he did before freaking out.
Derpy did everything she could, and as far as I can tell she did everything right. The problem was Thunderlane wasn't going to accept her from the start, and while that was apparent to me, I still feel for Derpy, who really is too naive and trusting to have expected to be treated so poorly.
I imagine this was hard to write, but you did a good job. A little rushed at times, but everything is there. I really, really look forward to seeing what happens next, especially how Derpy is going to cope with this. I sincerely hope she has a happy ending in this story, and now that Thunderlane is potentially out of the picture, maybe that can happen. Then again, if he does try coming back... hmm. I wonder if a FIM-92 Stinger anti-aircraft missile can track a pegasus...
Thunderlane is a total dick in this story.
I really am not liking him, it feels like he's manipulating Derpy into doing things.
Parts of the chapter felt a little rushed but over all enjoyable. I admit I was a little turned on when Thunder stripped off Derpy's diaper.
I hate thunder what an asshole. She gave you everything and you freak out about some pee. He is not a real stallion hes a bitch. Derpy needs a good pony like big mac or fluttershy . anyway this story is really well written.
Is this whole thing gonna flip between Derps being an orphan and her being taken advantage of? Or will there be at least some kind of good things?
I mean, I love a good sad story but this is just kinda painful with all the layers of sad going on.