To Gam3ercon We Go
*BEEP!*... *BEEP!*... *BEEP!*...
"Meh..."
*BEEP!*... *BEEP!*... *BEEP!*...
"Ehhhhh..."
*BEEP!*... *BEEP!*... *BEEP!*...
"Shut the fuck up!" I yelled, quickly sitting up in my bed, proceeding to smash my alarm clock to tiny pieces.
I breathed heavily in anger, because that alarm clock just ruined my beautifully perfect dream. Killing zombies.
I blinked to get the blurriness out of my vision, rubbing my eyes to get the sleep out, turning over on my bed to get up. I sat up on my mattress, as soon as I did that, a stinging sensation came along in my lovely right hand. I cast my gaze downward, my hand, my great drawing hand was now liberated by cuts, and blood oozed freely out of the wound.
'Well La-dee-fricking-da!'
I got up carefully, grunting in annoyance as my right hand was stinging like it was put into a patch of stinging nettles. I don't need those memories. (Fell in there once, and it was not pretty in the slightest. I lost my handsome face for a day). I walked out my room, silently closing the door from behind.
'Whats the point? I probably woke 'im with my little outburst.'
I slammed the door closed. It was pretty loud mind you. Right as I did that I heard a frghtened gasp in a room further down the hall. My brother, Mark, most likely made that gasp, or it was my conscious. I just walked noisely down to the bathroom. My feet slapping against the floor. It was cold. I looked down at myself before entering the bathroom.
'Well~ No shit, I only have my underpants on.'
I resumed my walk into the bathroom. Okay it was a lot colder in here than it was out there. I went over to the sink, turning the tap on. I let the water heat up first, while it was at that, I gazed upon my appearance in the mirror.
"I look like shit." I quietly mused to myself.
My hazel brown hair was sticking out like a duck's arse in every direction, my eyes were a faint form of bloodshot with bags underneath, making me look like I had run a marathon. My mouth felt dry, with dry skin on my lips. I looked down at the tap, hot water freely rushed out of it, the steam now fogging up the mirror. I cupped the water in my hands and splashed it on my face. I turned off the tap, and picked up a towel off to the side of the room. I dried my face, feeling that bit more livelier.
"First things first... Coffee. A number one must have in the early morning, or staying up late nights!" I formulated out-loud. "Wait... I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh yeah! A piss!"
*(Third-person: P.O.V.)*
The whistling of the teenage boy was heard, with the combination of a certain liquid echoing off the insides of a very unlucky toilet. A reliefed sigh was heard, and soon followed by a flush.
*(Moments earlier)*
Mark walked past the bathroom door, staring at it awkwardly. He sighed and shook his head, massaging his temples. He continued on into the kitchen.
*(Back to me!)*
I opened the bathroom door, and proceeded to walk out. Glad that my bladder was now drained.
"Now coffee!" I said in triumph, raising a victorious fist into the air.
I heard the cry of the kettle as I entered the kitchen. I saw my brother standing there, leaning on the counter. There was two mugs of soon-to-be coffee on the table. I had coffee a few days ago, ususally having tea to fill in the gaps.
"G'morning." My brother greeted, his voice sounded tired, probably stayed up later than I did.
"Morning... How'd you sleep?" I asked him, rubbing my eyes.
He let out a yawn. "I won't suger-coat it... I slept terribly."
"Well, this is karma for staying up late finishing off that costume." I told him.
"Says you. You did the same!" He playfully punched me in the arm.
I let out a small chuckle. "Yeah.. I know."
He looked down at my right hand. He had perplexed expression chiseled on his face.
"What happened to your hand bro?"
"Oh... I may have smashed that alarm clock we bought the other day." I said sheepishly.
"Why?" he asked with confusion.
"It ruined my dream." I stated. "You remember when you knocked me out of a dream that one time?"
"Uhhh... Yeah... you head-butted me. Sorest thing I recieved in a while."
"Mhmm." I nodded. "And don't you forget it."
The kettle stopped boiling, and clicked off automatically. Mark turned and opened the cupboard, taking out the coffee jar. I leaned against the counter next him, waiting for the lovely, hot, beverage. I waited for him to finish his method of making coffee, which took around a minute, but to me it felt like ten.
"Here." He handed me the coffee.
"Thanks man!" I snatched the coffee out of his grip, taking a sip out of the steaming brew. "Ahhh~" I released a relaxed sigh.
I gulped down the rest. Wiping my mouth with my arm, I let out a loud belch.
"Better out than in." Mark laughed.
I just looked at him. "Yeah... Enough with the Shrek references. I already have to deal with him on a daily basis."
He punched my arm again, albeit harder than last time. That was gonna bruise.
"And I have to deal with a donkey everyday, so get used to it."
"Ha, Ha, Ha." I sarcastically laughed.
We sat down on the stools by the nearby table, Mark happily sipping at his mug of coffee and reading the newspaper. I sat there thinking about my costume for Gam3rcon.
"So." I started. "The costume your taking to Gamercon? We kept 'em a secret from each other. So what is it?"
Mark set down his mug on the table. "I'll show ya now." He said getting up, he then turned to face me. "But you have to show me yours after a'ight?"
"Okay."
We walked out of the kitchen and back into the tunnel of a hallway, we turned right and made our way upstairs. When we made our way up the series of steps, he went left, myself in tow. He unlocked the guest bedroom door with the key he took off the doorframe. Mark opened the door and walked in. I stood there, my mouth agape in awe.
"Woah." I weezed out pointing at Mark's costume. "That is some awsome piece of work dude."
"Some?" He questioned, a brow raised.
"Yup." I said. "Master Chief's armor man, its very good. Really. Honest!" I raised my hands in defense. "But I'm not a very big fan of the Halo genre."
"I like to see what you got." He challenged.
"Oh you'll see..." I trailed on, walking out the room, and headed up to the attic. I pulled the rope holding the trap door down, the stairs formed after, making me a path up.
"The attic?" Mark raised an eyebrow.
"Uh... yeah. You must be very UN-observant not to know I was up there working." I was surprised he didn't know.
"Oh... right." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry must be my brain cells clicking off."
"Right~."
I walked up the newly-formed stairs and into the attic. Mark went up after me.
"Jesus, its dark." He thought aloud.
"Feast your eyes!" I shouted gleefully in his ear. Mark recoiled in fright.
I proceeded to turn on the light. The light-bulb flashed a few times before it remained lit. A monster of a costume was shown, the gauntlets had jagged spikes going along them, the same spikes went with the leg armor. A dark red robe with black highlights was draped upon the middle section and head. The costume's skin under the armor was grey with scar indentations placed in it. The head looked fearsome, sharp teeth(not litirally), and one ugly face. The helmet on the mask had an array of leather dreadlocks hanging off of it, with E.V.A foam spikes hanging off the ends.
"So... what d'ya think? I asked him, his jaw litirally hitting the floor.
He was left in that state for around... give or take a minute, but when he finally decided to anwser he was left a stuttering mess.
"I...I... I-"
"Shhhh... Let it all out." I mock cooed to him.
"How?" The only word he said... and it was how...
"How?" I offered him my best poker face. "The same way you made yours of course!" I raised my arms above my head. "EVA Foam? Ring any bells?" I knocked him three times on the head with my fist. "Helloooo?"
"Oh yeah." He had the look of someone zoning out of reality.
I facepalmed. "Sometimes I think you lost more braincells than I could count."
"I'm smarter than you." He replied in a deadpann expression. "Skorge. Nice choice, good variation."
"Thanks." Knowing that my costume was better.
"But mine's cooler." He stated. I just looked at with a face that said 'really?'. "Yeah really."
"Ughhhh..." I sighed out. "Fine." I raised my hands. "If you say so."
"I'd like to take a picture of you in it, show it to our parents back at home in Ireland." He formulated.
I nodded my head. "Good idea brotha." I praised him. "Lez do dis!"
He chuckled at my imitation. I walked over to my costume, taking off the armor, to put on the skin. That alone was around an inch thick. It was fiddely to put on. I managed, like half-an-hour later. I looked a hell of lot bigger, two inches taller, and a lot more intimidating.
My fingers felt snug inside the costume, they fit like a glove... litirally. I crouched down to put on the armor, it was a bloody struggle I'll tell you that.
The armor was finally on, another fifteen minutes of my life wasted.
"Jesus dude!" Mark exclaimed holding is iPhone. "You are one ugly grub!"
"I'll take that as a compliment." I replied looking back at him.
"Was it?" Mark asked, confusion plastered on his face.
I just sighed and metaphorically massaged my temples, don't want to cause an arguement.
"Ready?" he asked, I nodded my head, in my 'brilliant' pose. "Say cheese!"
I looked at him. "Really?" I dead-panned, getting out of my pose.
"Yes." He stated. "Now pose!"
I rolled my eyes, and posed for him. "Gorgonzola..." I managed to grunt out. The iPhone made that noise I know all too well, it was... the camera going off, and I got out of my pose.
"Your turn." I said to him
"Lets go back down to the guest room then."
We walked back down to the guest room, I was still in my Skorge costume. I didn't want to take it off seeing as it was hard enough putting it on. I banged my metaphorical fore-head off the door frame to the bedroom. I saw Mark putting on his Master Chief costume, it was amusing for me. Now I know how he must have felt.
I got bored and waited outside the bedroom door, leaning on the wall. How much time was it? Maybe an hour, an hour and a quarter. How it took him longer was well beyond me.
"I'm ready Cian!" I heard him call from the room.
"Oh Jesus God finally!"
I unlocked the door to the bedroom. I stopped at the door. We stood as still as statues. I looked at him. He looked at me. We stared at each other for a few minutes, before I finally broke the silence.
"I thought you'd be taller." I said, seeing as I was still an inch taller than him, and also making the bad reference.
"I thought you'd be uglier." He replied back instantly. I just stared at for the fourth time that day. Unamused.
"Yeah... so are we going to take the picture or not?" I asked him.
"Oh yeah." He shrugged and got into his Master Chief pose. I looked at my gloves, no way was I going to be able to touch the iPhone's screen with these.
"Hold on a second, I need to take the gloves off." I told him.
"Make it quick please." He said impatiently.
I took off the costume's gloves and placed them down on the bed. I picked up the iPhone off the night-stand. I turned it on and....
"Whats your password?"
"Ugghhh..." He sighed in annoyance. "0-0-7-3-6-9."
"Thank you." I proceeded to type in the password to his iPhone.
I tapped onto the camera app. My hand growing unsteady, his form on the screen, in that 'epic' pose of his.
"Say cheese!" He looked at me for a split second and... shrugged. I was expecting him to make a remark.
"Blue!" He yelled out happily. That was good enough for me. I took the picture. His 'epic' form plastered on the screen. I didn't want to say this to him, but it looked retarded. He was air-humping... AIR-HUMPING!
I looked at the clock on the wall to my left, it was half-past twelve.
"Oh no." I said quickly. Mark glanced over at me.
"What is it Cian?" I could see the concern through that orange visor of his.
"We're gonna be late for Gamercon!" I yelled running ( I least trying to) out of the room... I ran back in. "Forgot my gloves..." I equipped them and fast walked out again.
"Oh shit..." Mark trailed on. "Wait for me!" He ran as he heard the rattle of keys, the opening of the front door and the start of a car engine...
*(1:00 PM, at Gam3rcon Convention)*
"Well that was close." I stated.
"You said it." Mark replied, shifting his gaze around the area.
"The biggest queue of people I've ever laid my eyes on."
"Yep."
I turned my head to him. "Good thing we were in front huh?"
"Damn right!" he yelled gleefully. Averting some people's attention towards him.
I looked around, my vision that of a hawk. So many people were here, looking around, cosplaying, shopping or all the above. My gaze settled on a small little shop. But thats not what caught my attention. I saw it, the very same Chainsaw staff Skorge used in Gears of War 2, displaying on the store window. I squee'd so much inside my head, it hurt.
"Mark!" I turned to him, he was looking at some cute cosplayers. I rolled my eyes underneath my mask.
"Yeah?" he asked not even risking a glance in my direction. I walked over to him and grabbed his head and twisted it to the left, a crack was heard.(Not the crack you hear when a bone is breaking... eh you know what I mean.)
"Look..." I said dreamily and pointed in the direction of the store.
It took him around three minutes before he noticed. I would facepalm if my arm wasn't so tired.
"It's a shop." He stated bluntly.
I sighed in frustration. I dragged him over, litirally. His plea's to stop were unheard as I dragged him across the tiled floor. People were looking at me oddly. I picked him up by the head and slammed his helmeted face/visor on the glass. It didn't crack, only that annoying noise you hear when someone is banging on your window for attention.
"It's the staff Skorge uses!" I practically yelled in his face/visor/helmet. A look of realization was cast upon his being. I could feel it!
"Oh..." He looked down. "Wanna see if we can buy it?" he asked me.
"Hell-FUCKING-Yes!"
Mark got up onto his feet, stretching his legs out. The cracks of joints were heard along with a relaxed sigh. We walked into the shop looking like we owned the place.
"Mark you can check out the rest shop if you want." I offered him.
"I'll see if they have anything relating to Halo." He said walking off.
I walked up to the counter. Looking at the items behind the seller. The man was an old looking Chinese man with an eye-patch on his left eye, light grey hair, a bald patch, and a few moles.
"Can I help you?" He asked in an old, brittle, asian voice.
"Yes, I was wondering how much the Chainsaw staff is?" I asked him.
"Hmmm..." He typed down the item name on the computer to his right. "$100"
"Let me check my funds." I took out my wallet, exactly $100 in there. Convienent. "This should be enough."
He yelled out. "That is exactly $100! No change for you." Talk about being a cheapskate. "Thank you." He proceeded to hand me the Staff.
I gave the money to him, my eyes laden with joy when I cast my gaze upon the staff. Real metal. It was made of real metal, making it all the more better. I thanked him and turned to walk off.
"Wait." He called out.
"Yes?" I asked.
"This also comes with it." He handed me a strange amulet thingy, with some horse on it.
"Whats this for?" If he could see my face it would be mass confusion.
"Oh you'll see." He stated in a sinister voice.
I stared at him oddly. "Your shifty... I like that." I went to walk out of the store, but before I forget...
"Yo Mark I got the staff!" I called out, my voice echoing off the walls of the shop.
"Okay!" He called back. "I'll investigate this place some more!"
"A'ight!"
I resumed my way out the front entrance... Only to be confronted by some wierd guy, with a rainbow hoodie. He stared at the medallion thingy in my hands.
"Uh... Hi?" I waved at him nervously
"Hello..." He replied a minute later. I was really starting to get nervous. "Hey guys! This guy has an Alicorn amulet!"
"Oh god..." A look of terror was put upon my face... "the bronies they're here!" I began to sweat as nine more guys with various My Little Pony shirts and products headed towards me. And also... an Ali- what now?
"Mark! He-!" I tried to shout out, but the amulet in my grip was starting to glow a dark red colour. "The fu-!" I was cut off as I was being lifted into the air, heading towards a bright light that was blinding everyone in the viscinity.
"OH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!"
*(Location: Unkown)*
"-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" *DING!* *CRACK!* "YEEEE-OWW!" Oh Jesus god that hurt!
I rolled on the ground in pain, my eyes closed, my spinal cord was in agony, trying to put pressure on the area of extreme discomfort. It hurt like a bitch.
I opened my eyes. I was somehow placed on a grassy field in the middle of nowhere. Looking up I saw a crystal blue sky, with the whitest and fluffiest clouds I've seen in my life. Even the air smelt clean!
"Where am-." My heart stopped dead. My voice was different, drastically different. It sounded like gravel mixed with nails scraping across a chalkboard.
My body felt different too, it felt bulkier, stronger. My hands moved more freely, I tapped my armor, the feeling of my fingers was located in my now-not-a-costume, the sound emanating off it was the echo of metal, thick metal plating. I got up slowly, being careful not to damage my spine even more. I grunted in pain as I stood up. I looked around my enviroment, there was a lake to the west, and what looked like a castle of sorts to the north.
"Better get to civilisation." I mused to myself, still not used to my very scratchy voice. "Wait a minute... where's my staff?"
I looked around the area, in the grass, under rocks, a lone tree, until finally seeing a glint from where I had landed. I made my way over to my 'drop' off location (hehe). There it was my staff. And that also explains why my back was in pain.
It was probably one of the most heavenly things I've seen since I came here a few minutes ago, being the only item I've seen since mysteriously teleporting here.
"Curse you! You Shifty Chinese Merchant!" I roared into the heavens, shaking my fist angrily at the sky.
I proceeded to pick up my staff, there was handle on it now, with what looked like a generously sized trigger in it. It was incredibly light to lift. The length of the staff was around 3 and a half meters.
'This could be dangerous if used in the wrong han-... Wait why am I saying that!'
I turned around, looking at the castle in the distance. It looked generously sized (like with all castle tendencies to be.), and there was one of the strangest forests I ever laid my curious gaze on, from my distance, the forest was like the mind of a crazed lunatic, always moving around aimlessly, the clouds shifted uncontrollably, spouting random shots of weather, whilst the water vapour compression above myself did absolutely nothing, not even move with the wind!
"Big castle in the middle of a crazy-screwed-up forest!" I pointed out. "Well its the only form of human creation around for miles." I looked around, a black dot was coming out of the castle. "Strange..." I trailed on. With my senses kicking in I advanced on my trek towards the stone contruct.
"Somewhere in Japan most likely, I know how random they can be, especially with their commercials." I thought aloud, shuddering at my theory.
I climbed up the hill in front of the forest, keeping my gaze locked on the castle far off. As soon as I got up there however, a shadow was quickly casted over me. I looked up, nothing was there. I shook my head, and walked onwards.
"Down there!" I heard a voice call out. My hearing was a hell of lot more sensitive. I looked up, and saw a rectangular shape, looming down on me, getting bigger with each passing second. I rolled out of the way as a gush of wind rushed past me. A carriage was where a was standing not only moments ago. I looked to the left of it. I could not believe my eyes, four ponies, four-fucking-ponies in my field of vision. They looked exactly like the ones from My Little Pony. I saw those memes! They gazed at me with horror and confusion, possibly my 'handsome' face.
The carriage door opened and there popped out a few more ponies in golden armor glaring at me, ... for some unknown reason. They didn't look threatening at all to me. They were having trouble keeping a vexed face, I could see the fear in their eyes, I was doing my best not to snort out in amusement. The weapons on their sides were engulfed in a golden aura and next pointed their swords and spears at me.
'Talk about cynical. I should just try scare 'em off.'
"Halt Beast! In the name her Majes-" I cut the sorry basterd off.
"RAAAHISSS!" I got into my combat stance, my staff in hand, the trigger activated, the chainsaws at both ends grinding to life. But I didn't want to kill them, I'm not that bad. I had the strangest feeling of being watched from afar.
The guards advanced towards me, taking my hiss as a threat to attack them. Wish I didn't do that.
*(Third-Person P.O.V.)*
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna watched this from afar, eyeing the violent spectacle before them. The guards they had sent to investigate the anomaly were being ferociously attacked by a horrible looking creature, being knocked out cold in the end, with cuts, broken bones and bruises.
"We should act now sister, deal with it before it causes harm upon our subjects." Luna told her sister, looking at her in the eye.
Celestia nodded. "Indeed let us deal with it before it gets out of hoof."
They flared their wings, ready to take off, unknowingly setting off a spark to sadness, conflict and bloodshed.
Also, an alternate ending to the Lion King...
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Using skorge for a story instead of Raam. Sweetness, and you don't see any fics where Skorge is the m.c.
10/10 on the awesomeness scale.
4507093
Thank you kindly good sir!
Nope.
4507119
i.imgur.com/2w591.gif
As I said dont take it seriously.
Don't be discouraged by the dislikes. People sometimes don't like this kind of stuff. I on the other hand like that you are branching out in the story department. All I have to say now is
keep up the good work sir.
Jesus people, stop disliking it 1. without commenting and 2. based solely off of it's LOHAV roots. Fuckin' grow up.
jeez, i know how you feel. 12 dislikes and no negative/constructive comments? wow. at least when people didn't like my story they had the guts to comment.
a like and a fav, if only to read later and even out your bar.
good luck!
Very nice start to this...
lets see where this goes!
also 12 dislikes? and no comments justifying it?
c-mon people are you seriously doing this without looking inside?
just like "nope dont like it (dislike) an off i go"?
well then lets even out this!
Gave it a favorite and I still don't understand why people dislike stories before reading them. Meh
This is actually good, I saw only a few typos, gonna add it to the group.
4512130
It's because they're either idiots or trolls. Or both.
I honestly don't really understand the purpose of dislikes I you don't like it move along! And if you do dislike it have the common sense to explain yourself. Anyway I leave a like for you good sir. I'll keep this on read later and see how this goes.
you will continue this, or you will die.
These comments have actually swayed me into reading this, if not for them, i'd ignore it completely because of those horrendous downvotes. CARRY ON MEN!
4523368
You can count on the Sergeant, sensei!
4525470
In all honesty I don't know what made people down vote it, and without an explanation as to why they did pissed me off.
4525484 Probably because they were sick of LoHAV stories where the character goes to a con, picks up an item from a mysterious vendor, and then gets sucked into a portal and into Equestria.
Ohhh nooooo, the Ponies come to put down yet another person because they think he's evil because he looks really evil!
4525556
This is probably going to be all set in the Pre-Nightmare era.
4525497
There's also... what like 50 cosplay stories on the site, I can see it now!
4525472 Address me in american terms or else You will die!
4526413
Yes sir...
Let them all burn in hell! Actualy just fucking rape and torcher them. (:
You have a like and fav from me. Funny and cool in all the right places.
Wait, if there are raam in equestrian story's, someone pleas tell me. He's my favorite antagonist.
4507143 KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!!!!
Is it strange that us bronies preach love and tolerance yet the a lot of the fic we make are of Celestia and her guards randomly attacking people cause they are not ponies?
5792202
Bronies: I FUCKING LOVE MINI-HORSES!
Ponies: AAAAAAHHHHHH, ITS BIPEDAL! KILL IT!