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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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he
otherwise not a bad chapter
4636028 Fuck reactiongifs.me/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/smash-computer-mad-at-the-internet-buffering-loading-video.gif and corrected
4636029 Didn't intend for that kinda reaction
4636079 Imagine this, you had just finished writing and editing a chapter, and uploaded it, satisfied that its done, then a few moments later, someone points out an error.
that and it was also for lols
4636082 With my punctuation and sentence structure skills, TRUST me if I ever manage to get a story accepted, any editors I manage to get to look at my stuff will be finding stuff after THEY are through it
4636122 Look into this: http://www.gingersoftware.com/grammarcheck#.U7VlGvmSzfc
This is what I use
Whenever I see something in Bold, my mind automatically reads in in a deep demonic voice. Pretty dang creepy since it went from Celestia's voice to one of those Horror story voices.
miriadna.com/desctopwalls/images/max/The-path-through-yellow-field.jpg
"the journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step"
4636129
Honestly, your grammar/spelling is fine; it's your formatting that could use some work...
This might help: Basic Dialogue Formatting
If you need any help, feel free to ask questions.
Oh, and keep writing. Practice makes perfect (or so I've been told)!
Heh, this was exactly what song I was thinking of when I clicked it. What Luck.
Cervidas.....Oh my god.....Legend of mana.
6018712 actually it still works, you just gotta reload it by using enter for some reason :\
Why are the CMC terrified of him? They've met him. The only thing he did to scare them was teleport them to their siblings, who he knew would care for them. If anything, the CMC should be acting in the exact opposite way, especially since they should remember how Zecora was seen as evil but Applebloom saw through it. She knows how simple things can make people have bad impressions, and hell, the impressions of some of them, like Luna, shouldn't be of an evil being but rather one that just got involved in doing something on accident. Applebloom, after meeting him, and recalling how she was with Zecora, should not just think, "well he's an evil entity that I must scream at."