Chapter 32: Her Moment Of Surrender
Spitfire lay motionless in the bed with Fleetfoot spooning her from behind. She had only let the mare stay out of shock and worry for what she might do to herself, but now she knew what she felt inside. She felt nothing, not a shred of emotion. As the first light of day began to seep into the room they were in, the room Dash and her were supposed to be in, she began to pry herself away from the arctic blue mare.
To which, Fleetfoot grunted and readjusted herself. Spitfire on the other hand, physically hurt so damn much she felt like she was going to die as she got up from the bed. She headed into the bathroom and started a shower, she closed herself in and locked the door, then undressed and slowly climbed inside the shower. The warm water eased her pain a little, but did little to combat the gaping hole where her heart once resided.
You should hurt her for causing you such pain! For taking your Dashie away! For leading you astray, KILL HER!
A voice had been replaying over and over in her head since the incident occurred, but it had no sway over her now. It was the real culprit that lead her astray not Fleetfoot, she was just following her own inhibitions that wasn't her fault really. Yet, this voice kept trying to push her over a hateful cliff that she would never come back from. Unfortunately for it, it had pushed her off a cliff of misery and woe.
As the water ran over her face she closed her eyes and faced up towards it, "I ended up checking myself into rehab for a reason whatever you are, and lucky for me those memories are so repressed you can't dig into them."
What was the dark secret you may ask, but she would never remember the truth of what it was. All she knew was she was on that very road once again, and it felt like a very good day for a walk. A good day indeed. She turned off the shower and stepped out to dry herself off. It was probably five in the morning or so, as that was when light began to creep back into the world before Celestia's sun could rise.
She walked back out into the room in the nude knowing all too well Fleetfoot would be asleep still. She hunted down underwear, a bra, pants, and a shirt. Nothing fancy, just basic covering garments would be enough. As she pulled the shirt over her head she saw the clock read: 6:13 a.m. Fleetfoot would be...
"Hey there hun, are you doing okay after last night?" the arctic blue mare asked from behind Spitfire.
...waking up soon. She had had a lot of time in the shower thinking about things, and she knew if anything, she needed to wake her old friend up by breaking her as well. At this point, she was so assured of her mental victory that she was absolutely defenseless for what would come next.
"Yeah I am." she answered without facing the seductive pegasus behind her. "And Fleetfoot, I think it's time we went our separate ways... Permanently."
"That's good to hear I--Wait what?" she answered in dumbfounded shock.
"Exactly what I said." Spitfire was resolute and firm on this choice. "We aren't lovers, we aren't friends, we aren't team mates, and I never want to see you ever again Fleetfoot."
"Wait Spitty, what did I do wrong; I don't understand..." Fleetfoot whimpered.
"Don't ever call me that again either!" the golden mare now rose her voice. "You did everything wrong, you approached everything wrong, nothing you did in the end was right. All you did was buck everything with your short sighted goals of what was most important dammit. You, just like me, lost sight of everything outside of YOU. I don't ever want to be near that again, that way I may one day die with the piece of mind I choose. Now get your clothes, your purse, or whatever you brought and get out!"
"But I--"
"GET OUT!" Spitfire roared.
Fleetfoot scurried to her feet and began to gather her things and get dressed. Twenty minutes later the door was closing behind her, the sound of her crying echoed through the entire hallway. Now Spitfire was all alone, free from her burdens that would impede her march. She walked over to the window and opened it to a cloudy overcast looking day.
"What the heck, it was clear last night... Oh wait, the weather team could've done that!" she realized though it mattered little of the weather.
She clutched her chest, as pain radiated from what she felt was a hole where her heart should be. A hole that was created when she realized that she cheated on Dash, multiple times, and was justly broken up with for being caught doing such. She will never look at me again, never hold me, never wrap me in her soft wings, never love me again, never kiss me again, never will I know love again without her. These thoughts continued to bombard what was left of Spitfire's strength and she fell to one knee breathing hard.
Maybe I should lay down for a little while before taking that walk.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Signature Sandwich had taken the last night train to Ponyville purely on a hunch and managed to arrive early in the morning. He checked his home and the shop first, no sign of anything abnormal. Then he proceeded to check all around town, nothing that he found seemed off. He headed up to Rainbow's home with the magic ward Twilight had made him for levitation, so he could see his daughter when needed, and it was here he found what he feared the most.
Rainbow's door was literally smashed open sitting ajar, and as he peered in the entire home was thrashed. Things were laying broken on the floor, blankets and books tossed around in what looked like fury, her cloud couch torn to bits, chairs and tables flipped upside down, liquids like coffee and water strewn across the walls. He followed the trail of destruction which lessened when he got to the place he knew she kept her CD player. The one solace she had in this world apart from flying was music, but where was she if not here? He looked around and noticed her wonderbolt blanket and pillow missing from the chaos of her room.
"Jackie..." Sig said aloud with a sigh.
If Spitfire relapsed, what about Dash then? Would the younger mare go back to that time of darkness herself. This was something Sig, as her father, could not allow. He had to try to help her up when she fell. He headed out of her home trying his best to close the door behind him although, it wasn't much good with how much damage she had done to it. Down from her cloud home he headed straight for Sweet Apple Acres.
As he arrived he was greeted by an early rising Big Macintosh and... Pinkie Pie?
"Pinkie is that you, you young prankster?" Sig greeted her with amusement.
"Yup, Yup, Yup!" She smiled upon recognising the sandwich maker. "Got out just yesterday morning, I was sad not to see Dashie though. Any chance you might know where she is?"
"Well yeah, and that's why I am glad you're here Big Mac." Sig said turning to the tall blonde farmer. "I need you to take me to her. I know the barrier rules."
"Mmm, so ah take it somethin's wrong?" Mac didn't miss a thing it seemed. "Hon, you stay here while ah escourt Signature 'ere ta mah sister's grave. Make sure that the family know where ah am an' such."
"Okie doki cupcake!" Pinkie replied with cheer.
He managed to get her to comply easily, and Sig had plenty of questions but they would have to wait till the graveyard entrance. They headed to the canyon quickly. All Big Mac had to do was touch the barrier gates and they opened, nothing like what Dash said she had to do. Maybe this was because the red stallion was a blood descendant of the family, Sig couldn't be sure.
"Come on, I have ta go with ya through the canyon." Mac said pacing ahead slowly with a yawn.
"So... You and Pinkie, you're seeing each other now eh?" the forest green stallion pried lightly.
"Well yeah ah suppose we are, and it's nice to have 'er energy around the farm when she can spare it." he said plainly. "Some o' her therapy sessions were held right out here ta see iffin she could come back into society. An' she fit in like a button once that doctor removed that hate spirit thing from 'er."
"There was a hate soul manifestation inside of her?"
"Yeah that's what it t'was, how'd ya know that?"
"Oh, I've been around the world and I'm not the young stallion I used to be Mac" Sig said with a chuckle.
"Indeed ya aren't the youngest fella, but you've still got plenty o' spring in yer step!" the red farmer complemented Sig with a laugh.
Hmm, if the doctor extracted it... And any of it was to get free... It wouldn't go back to the original host. This may explain a few things.
"All the same it is good to see you and Pinkie together." Sig went back to their prior topic. "You really do make a cute couple!"
"Thank ya kindly Signature." the farmer replied humbly and with the slightest semblance of a blush.
Signature Sandwich smiled, he was glad to see love had not forsaken all souls that came from the story that those two had. The long walk came to a quick end as he picked up a very faint sound of a guitar. It was her CD player alright, and as they came out of the canyon he saw Dash splayed out on the ground next to Applejack's grave. Her blanket was tossed aside and she was shivering violently while she slept. Her headphones in her ears on full blast.
She doesn't want to hear the world around her anymore so she is trying to drown it out, but why is she trying to freeze to death as well?
He rushed over to her, quickly wrapped her up in her blanket, laid her back down on her pillow and removed the headphones from her ears. He put in the headphones and rewound the song she had set to repeat to find out what it was. His eyes shot wide open as the piano began loud and melancholic. His heart stopped as his blood flowed over with ice. It was the very song he heard echoing in his own head the night Storm, his wife, died.
"Dash, kiddo..." He felt a tear fall from his face and he saw it land on hers.
He brushed it away gently, and she lightly stirred. That was not what disturbed him though no it was the fact that the thin pelt of her face was matted from tears she had cried herself to sleep with last night. He removed the headphones finding he could take the sad song no more, and turned her CD player off. She kicked her hooves out of the blanket and he looked down at them as he went to tuck them back in and noticed they were heavily worn. No she couldn't have... Did she walk all the way here from Canterlot?
"She did." came a sweet familiar southern drawl.
He looked around to no avail in trying to see her, but he knew he heard Applejack's voice.
"You've been doing what cha can to take care o' her an' that's most respectable Sig, but chu gotta be her father now... Y'all gotta do more ta watch over her. Remember, y'all have been there an' done that once upon a time. Yer advice jus' may save 'er heart yet!"
"Applejack, is that you?" Sig called out to no avail.
"Thank ye kindly for watchin' over Rainbow butt. Get 'er home now... Looks like rain is on the way, an' she'll need some strength yet. Goodbye Sig."
"Dad, what're you doing here?" came Dash's raspy sleep riddled voice.
"Nothing sweetie, you go back to sleep." He cooed her softly. "Don't worry, daddy is gonna make sure you get the most comfortable rest you've ever felt."
She yawned and replied, "Okay, that sounds nice."
Once she had fully dozed off again Sig picked her up and carried her back to their home behind the sandwich shop. He laid her down in the guest bed, tucked her in tight, kissed her forehead, then exited the room closing the door behind himself. He, on the other hand, headed to the couch to investigate her music CD more. He needed to know what kind of music she listened to when she felt this kind of pain inside. He started the CD from track one, put in the headphones, and began to realize just how alike he and his daughter really were.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Dash came to drearily to the smell of food cooking wafting softly into her nostrils. It was then she remembered the pain in her chest that made her feel like she was dying. It hurt so much that she was instantly brought to tears. Why does it hurt so much? She instinctively began to look for her CD player only to realize where she was. How did I get to Dad's house, and is he really cooking?
Songs began playing in her head without the CD player and she tried to understand every song's meaning for a moment. Her situation coupled with the music and the visit to Jackie's grave. She got up sullenly from the bed and headed out of the guest room for the kitchen. She found her father was indeed cooking, and it smelled fabulous to her. Yet, the pain in her heart killed the joy of food for her.
"Heya sport, how ya doing this afternoon?" Sig said turning around happily.
"D-Dad..." Dash said her voice cracking.
"What's wrong?" the stallion's expression immediately becoming concerned.
"I still love her!" She cried grabbing where her heart was. "And it hurts so much, that it's tearing me apart inside!"
"I know it is, and I've known it would." He answered simply.
"But how would you know anything about how I feel?" She shouted not realizing her reason for doing so. "What pain could you have felt that can compare?"
"Because, though the situations are a tad different, me and Storm had our moments of doubt." Sig admitted in shame and Dash caught his mood regretting her own. "I mean it was more my fault for doubting her, and I beat myself up emotionally over it. Then when I confronted her about it, well, I was beaten for it, and let me tell you she could really throw a punch! In the end, she straightened me out and made me for the fool of a stallion I was."
"Not to mention you suffered when she died..." Dash gasped at that moment making an odd parallel. "Just like I lost Jackie far too soon! That's why you wouldn't let me quit living!"
"Well, one of the reasons at least." the stallion laughed and began to pace. "You know there are a lot of parallels in our lives Dash. If you want answers or thoughts on how to deal with something there will always be a good chance I have the answer for ya. Well, at least I've seen enough to have the wisdom to help you. I mean I've lived five lifetimes after all!"
"Wait, what?" Utterly floored with shock.
"I thought we've talked about this already?" Sig said surprised by his lack of forethought. "Maybe you just forgot or I'm remembering wrong, whichever. Yes, this is my fifth lifetime. Though, I think there will be another time for this conversation kiddo."
"Y-Yeah sure dad..." she answered still blunted by the reveal.
"Anyways help yerself to breakfast." Sig offered.
"I don't feel like I can eat anything even though it smells good dad..." Dash said a darkness spreading over her expression.
"Well, I can understand that after all you've been through, but you should still try to eat something." the stallion chuckled as he finished his thought. "Yer brain still needs fuel to work things out so it can stop hurting after all!"
She managed to laugh as she went and picked out some veggie sausage links, some buttered toast, an apple, and a cup of coffee. It may have been past noon, but it was a welcomed meal all the same to her. She went and sat down at the table, and as she began to eat she started to feel her body perk up. We are fighters in this family Dash! She remembered her real father's own words to her when she was just a young filly of four still.
"You're looking a little better already!" Sig said happily, but what came next... "We are after all fighters in this family Dash."
She spit out her coffee and bolted her gaze directly upon him in sheer surprise.
"What, what did I say?"
"My Dad always said that exact phrase to me when I was a little filly!" the young mare replied in astonishment.
"Well it's probably always been in yer family and mine..." Sig smiled as he trailed off
"You know something more than that don't you?" Dash countered instantly.
"Not really, it's just a feeling." the forest green stallion scratched his head. "Look Dash, I don't have the recollections of all of my lives. Most prominently, the life this soul lived before Celestia plucked it out for five lifetimes of service to the nature of conjuring massive rainstorms in areas without weather pegasi."
"Despite saying We will talk about my past later, you sure are informing me of some of it still pretty easily." Rainbow jabbed lightly. "But wait, you can cause downpours? How?"
"What skill do I have that all the world over loves me for?" He countered with a question.
"No way, your guitar playing can conjure storms?"
"Yes way, but my guitar is running out of mana... Look, can we talk about this another time?" Sig seemed so flustered by this moment.
"Aww, but Dad... I'm really interested in this!" She played it up giving him a cute watery puppy dog eyes face.
"I can tell." He groaned outwardly. "When you recover from your aching heart with your own strength, I will tell you okay?"
He walked past her and ruffled her hair playfully then stopped and looked at her seriously, "Would you come watch the sunset with me tomorrow over the plains outside Ponyville? I'm sure we can hijack a cloud fer a moment like that!"
"Sure Dad, maybe you will tell me more then!" the rainbow maned mare answered playfully.
"Yeah, maybe I will." the sandwich maker groaned again. "Oh, by the way your friend Pinkie is out of the hospital at last. You may want to go see her sometime, well, her and Big Mac I should say."
"They finally got together?" Dash laughed. "About dang time! Yeah, actually I'll go visit her once I'm done eating... Thanks Dad."
"No problem sport!"
As she finished her food she began to think that despite all the bad that happened, there was still plenty of good left springing up in her life. There was enough for her to go on living, even if it hurt every dang day she had to be strong. A child of the Valor bloodline had no reason to show a weak heart. She knew her ancestry only because at this moment all the good memories of her old dad were coming back to her, as if her own mind had begun the process of trying to comfort her. It made her feel less pain and more warmth in her heart again.
But I really do still miss her...
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Note from Author:
This Section To Be Read While Enjoying The Song:
Moment of Surrender by U2
Spitfire awoke the next day in a total stupor. She was confused as to how her body had tolerated being unconscious for so long, but as she looked to the window she could see the raindrops streaking across the window pane. It distracted her for a moment. Today there was no pain emotionally or physically, everything was gone for her in reality.
It's a good time for my last little walk and flight.
She made sure she had packed at least some bits for the things she would need along the way. She headed downstairs and was about to head out into the rain when the mare behind the front desk stopped her. She really hoped this wasn't about the bill that had already been paid, but how would this young little thing know about it if she just stopped her on impulse. Oh well, better get ready for an explination.
"Miss it's pouring out there, not even you could fly fast enough to dodge every raindrop." Said the plain milky white mare.
"That's okay, I don't intend to do anything but enjoy the water on my pelt." She replied surprised the subject had been her well being.
"W-Well at least let me give you an umbrella or a coat or something." She offered kindly.
"Alright, I can allow an umbrella." She said it this way only because the mare looked so purely worried for her.
She hurried back to her desk with a smile and pulled out the umbrella from underneath the desk. Making her way back over to Spitfire and handing it to her. She smiled radiantly and said, "Please take care of yourself!"
"Oh I will, thank you miss."
She stepped outside into the pouring rain and unlatched the umbrella allowing it to form a canopy above her head to protect her from the rain. She began to wander the town aimlessly for a while noting every flowerpot that was adorned with beautiful roses, lilies, sunflowers, baby's breaths, and most odd to her were the Forget Me Not's. All of them getting some much needed water to help them grow strong and prosper. She decided to take a small tendril of the flowers with her for the road ahead, they were just so pretty. She went along braiding them into her hair.
The grey brickwork and masonry of the buildings looked so dreary and sad to her in the rainy city. The cobblestone roadways puddled over with water from the rain looked oh so beautiful with every ripple the raindrops would cause. The limestone tiled walkways seemed sadly, to be getting etched with every rainstorm; each having its own unique carved patterns from the rain over the long years they had been there. Looking to the sky the birds still fluttered about with their songs damped by the rain as they scattered for cover, but were no less fettered by the storm that at first may have surprised them.
Hours of wandering lead her to a poor side of Canterlot she could vaguely remember. Rotting woodwork houses, which looked more like shacks, lined the streets. Which was mud at this point, and off down an alleyway she heard a noise that caught her heart for but a moment. It was the crying whine of a dog. There was no shelter for it anywhere to be seen of but it struggled to make due with the trash that laid around. Its pelt was a deep auburn brown and it was... It was limping as it scurried around trying to piece together a shelter with its mouth.
Spitfire approached slowly and it heard her. Turning around it growled at first staring her down with suspicion. She approached her hand up in a gentle gesture to show she meant no harm, and her body language was that of a beaten dog as well so that couldn't hurt her chances. The dog seemed to sense her own pain as it eased up its guard and approached her gently limping. She pet the poor animal, and gave it a little scratch behind its ears.
She gave it what little love she had left in her. Looking at the trash back here an idea struck her. She began to stack certain pieces and dug some into the dirt to create a makeshift stand for the edges of her umbrella. Which she put on top of the pillars and showed the dog what she did for it. The canine ran, at least as fast as it's injured leg would allow, under the new shelter and barked happily at its new friend.
"There ya go lil guy, or girl." Spitfire said gently. "A nice bit of shelter, courtesy of a nice mare at the hotel I was staying at. I paid her kindness forward. Now I'm squared with the universe again."
She began to walk away and the dog followed. She turned on the dog and pointed back at it's shelter.
"Do me this kindness and stay in the shelter I made you!" She growled at the dog. "It's the last standing testament of my touch in this world!"
The dog cowered back into the shelter and Spitfire continued on now hurting that she had to toss aside another creature that could have been a loving companion. I just can't be loved, nor can I ever truly let someone inside of myself can I? Her thoughts just dropped off from there. She knew the shop she needed to visit before she left Canterlot, but she just wasn't used to walking to it at all.
It was hard to tell what time it was when she found the pegasus athletics shop, but she felt soaked to her bones at this point. Mind you, the rain had stopped but Spitfire's body maintained all of the water. She shook a little of it out and headed inside. It was a small warm and cozy establishment run by a wine coated pegasus named Merlot. His destiny was to be a salesperson, and he had always believed it would be in wines. Alas, things had turned out a little differently as his hobby had been studying the physical training attributes of pegasi. Thus, he had become the Wonderbolts most trusted training equipment supplier, and after that all pegasi near and far.
Regardless of his version of the story he still ended up selling something just like destiny planned.
"Hello there--Woah, Spitfire are you okay?" The shopkeeper asked in astonishment.
"Yeah I'm fine Merlot, I got a question for ya." she started not caring what he thought of her appearances. "Do you still have those enchanted wing binders that help you cut down use of wings for better physical training? You know, the ones that you just say a word or phrase and they will affix themselves to your wings?"
"Yeah I should have a couple still in stock, why you looking to do some trainin'?" his eyes seemed to sparkle at this prospect.
"Yeah that is exactly it!" She answered with the most fake smile which he bought in to. "Oh, and also, do you have those serenity pills too? I wanna be able to train to the max this time! I mean I've been out of the circuit for so long!"
"Oh yeah, the vitamins you big shots use to tranquilize yourself from pain." Merlot answered in an unimpressed voice. "Yeah, I've got a couple of those left too. Will that do it for you today?"
He walked off into the aisles to find her shopping requests and she answered him happily, "Yes, it is perfect at just that ol' buddy!"
He came back and laid both items on the counter, "You really have come back from that abyss you were in year back haven't you? Okay, total is gonna be--What the?"
"You have no idea man..."Spitfire said with a hollow voice as she tossed him her money pouch, taking her things, and heading outside.
She had taken off into the sky now hearing Merlot below her shouting about her giving him too much money probably. This flight would most likely be her last flight. The pegasus reveled at the cold air as she shot up into the clouds and then through them to the sunny skies high above the world. She watched the currents of the clouds twist and turn as they moved about getting ready to dump even more rain on the town below. It was just so melancholic to her, a dark and beautiful poetry from up here that she could just sit and watch.
Spitfire had a long flight ahead of her to get to the Dragon's Perch, but she knew it was necessary for what was to be for her. This would be the harshest training of her life. As she streaked along at speeds she could scarcely believe she was capable of, she noticed the world around her change from dark clouds, to white puffy ones scattered about.
A five hour flight later...
She stood atop one of the highest points that a pegasus could land on in all of Equestria, Dragon's Perch. It was an enchanted magical cloud that always stayed at that massive height but still flowed with all of the air currents of the world. It never dissipated either, which was nice because it had a beautiful view of almost every surrounding environment. Being a pegasus she knew roughly where it would be at any given time, and she had many a time perched up here herself to watch the world below. She just snorted in ironic disgust that it currently floated precariously over a valley just outside Ponyville.
The sun was beginning its decent in the west, and Spitfire had unwrapped the wing restraints and even dry swallowed about four of the serenity pills and was already feeling their effects. There was no pain anymore, no feeling of hollowness even. There was simply nothingness. Her life had nothing of note left in it. Her brother and father loved her, but the rapid aging disorder effected them both and they'd both be dead before her if she fought on living. Soarin' would never forgive her for going back on her promise to change and defeat all the odds. For that matter, no one on the team would forgive her for anything in the end.
"I wonder how long she will remember me for, or if she will ever be able to forgive me for being such a foolish mare?" Spitfire mused aloud to herself pointlessly. "I guess it doesn't matter though... There is nothing left for me here anymore."
She spoke in a commanding voice now to the magical bindings, "Restrain my wings so I may train my body alone for myself!"
The bindings levitated from the ground and came up to behind her back, and that was when she felt the familiar tenseness. The bindings began to tightly wrap and confine her wings from any motion what-so-ever. It was done within a minute. This was it. She was suddenly overcome with weakness as she fell to her knees, tears running down her face but her expression was empty and not reflective of the emotion now breaking from her eyes.
I can still remember the first time she called me by that nickname... I can still remember her smile that morning at breakfast... The first time we held one another... The first time that we kissed... The time when she wrapped her wings around me to protect me from the world... The first time we made love, how she took such gentle care of me despite my lust... It all seems like it was so long ago now...
It was at this time she took the flowers out from her hair and set them upon the grounds of the cloud. She patted a few clouds over the base of the stem because it was an enchanted cloud, the flowers could not be blown away if she did this. Now this is the last thing I will leave in this world... So that maybe... Just maybe... The world won't ever forget me. A panicked voice rang out in her head at this time.
What are you doing, this isn't how you are supposed to react! Why won't you listen to me and do unto Fleetfoot what she has done to you?
"Because... I have more suicidal tendencies than hateful or vengeful ones." Spitfire murmured knowing she won this fight at least. "You done goofed up you hateful black magic. You die with me it seems."
Spitfire then got up and ran to the edge of the cloud leaping into the abyss of the sky, the dive that should have killed her long ago... Here was Death's third chance to get her. This time though, she was fully ready to embrace it. Just to take one last memory with her she opened her eyes to look at the sun as it set crimson upon the horizon. It is a truly beautiful farewell.
NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU SELFISH MARE!
Whatever it was inside of her it was very afraid, and like she would've expected it chose to flee rather than die. She felt her mouth forced open as a black mist shot out from her mouth and dissipated into the air around her. It had been black magic that had corrupted her this whole time, it wasn't her fault that she cheated on Dash. Not that it didn't happen, but now she knew she wasn't entirely at fault. She really did love her, and now she would die with that happiness. Now I am truly free... I am going to die with at least that peace inside of my mind.
Spitfire continued to plummet, a calm smile on her face, to what would be her earthen grave. This was it... This was the end.
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........
...........
Duuuuuuuuuuude
6670950 yeah...i know.
Wait fer the next one, you will love it!
6671880
(you won)
YOU ARE EVIL
Except:
As spitfire continue to plummet she finally felt the hard ground.
Private Lightning Shadow awoke on the ground with a pain in his back and wings and somethings heavy on their as well. He had regrets on going on patrol again but it was his duty. Pulling himself out from under the object he flipped around and ....
"Oh Buck...... d-did I just hit a wonderbolt out of the air! Buck oh, Buck oh, Buck. I am so dead for this. Please be alive" reaching down to feel the wonderbolts pulse, "yes may still get away with this" he began to pick up the golden mare and start his flight to the cheapest hotel he knew.
Setting down in front of the hotel he pulled the wonder bolt off his back and went inside for a room. Playing the mare for unconsciously drunk, "she bruses easily" was the only replie for the bruses on her. Paying for the room he took her up their placed her the bed.
"Right guessing she'll be fine here, I better get back before I get shit from the officers" he leaves the room and proceeds outside and takes off back to base. "However I should check up on her in a few hours, good thing this is my last patrol before leave for a few months."
Let this be true. let this be true. let this be true. If not I'll get my pony blood bowl team (reference to the story I'm writing. Big thank you for giving me confidence and ideas to start writing myself, these are so entertaining) on you
*no threats were delivered by the team, all responsibility for crowd/fan deaths fall upon celestia and Luna for not playing the old-queen game, thank you blood bowl league*
6678065 Now there is the super evil long comment I had been waiting on
...though most of it was an alternative take on the story...
Everyone comments on their sad feelz...but no one had a particular part that made the ending hurt that much more for them? 
Le sigh...this one was my pride chapter...Ah well. 
Back to work.
6679039
Sorry
For the best part, saddest part, the part you struggled to write *im guessing* and the part that I have gotten close to personally
+ experienced with a mate was
:
; the acceptance of death, the fact that it is almost impossible to turn them around, the fact that they want to die. It breaks anybody (we got of lightly as one of our friends caught him after he tried to give all his money away, showed him he still had people who loved and cared for him, he's now better
) and yes we were pretty shit feeling during the process.
Spits 'Death march
But yeah it brings back feeling, and it's write so well, I can't say it's done wrong or that I won't read it. Plus it also helps me reflect, even though I can't save spitfire *unless my ulternative is now cannon
* I can reflect that I did save one of my mates from this and the griff I'm sure it will bring. Thank you
Ps. Still sorry for the long comment
6681088 no problem glad that you doubled up on the comments, and its nice to know that this chapter was a good cause for reflection for you. I woulda never known about that kinda thing. And im also glad that you agree with my progression of the story as well. Yeah, this chapter did take a lot to write as i had to literally drop my mindset into that depressive mode which is not easily forced. But it completed the joy i felt with how i wrote the two prior chapters! ...hate to say but i need to do a quick re-read on 33+34 to see if i still agree with their progression...oh well later on maybe. Its a busy week this week.
Nnnnnnnoooooo~........ Spits.... Ahhhh...
But..."Depressive" "Dark" like writing and, hits ya right in the feels....I love that about story.
Close to crying.....Fighting the tears.....So close for to start crying a little..
But...Must wait for next chapter.. Good chapter...Good chapter..... This is my favorite story on this site nothing is probably gonna change that.
And, thinking back on parts of this chapter.... I suddenly started thinking about "Don't wanna miss a thing" or, "Angel" by Aerosmith, being played later on in the story.... Your playing with my mind again with this chapter.
Okay, so I've edited this comment about ten times now I think. Yeah, about ten times and, I was just listening to "The Light" by Disturbed, and, it sounds kinda perfect for the ending of chapter 32 not like with what's going through Spit's mind but, like after and, stuff Maybe...Depends on how this ends out... I also maybe going to crazy just thinking back to this chapter cause, I keep finding songs~....
6686479 Well there is the comment that brings the whole patch of notice together for me, now I just gotta make sure 33+34 are good to go 100%!
Glad the music was enjoyed, and that you even had some songs that fit the moment for you. Honestly there were about 20 songs that I listened to when conceptualizing this chapter. Guess there were more out there! Aerosmith songs are good mostly for when they are in love and together...not her death lol 
But gotta say I'm honored to be your fave author with this story alone. 
6686885
Well not during this part but, say like after, if she survives this...somehow....Slowly realizing this would probably be better if I sent a pm.
I feel so bad for Dash, first her biological parents, then Aj and now Spitfire jeez. Life is against you Dash
And Dynasty can't wait for your new chapter the suspense is killing me 
6703679 yeah so much pain in her past, it can make for a bright future to come! Don't worry the release is friday!