Twilight Sparkle
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
You're a self-righteous know it all who can't do squat without the aid of magical powers. I bet you only got where you are cause your family's rich, you pudgy little witch!
Yours sincerely, Discord
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Unexpected.
...pudgy?
And then Twilight got her friends and turned Discord to stone for another thousand years.
And then he wrote all the rest of the chapters with telekinesis.
Yeah.