“UUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHhhhh”
I groaned as my stomach continued to growl. I had been like this for Queen knows how long. In reality though, it had only been two days that I had gone without any food. To me it was like two weeks. “Why couldn't that mare just love me right off the bat.” I said to myself in a harsh tone. “Its always those stupid questions. like, ‘What's your name’” I mimicked. “‘where you are from,’ ‘why are your eyes different colors.’ Ugh...I wish I could get that part of the whole ‘disguise thing’ down. Why can’t I just look at a window and turn around three times, its not like anyone looks at the important features of a pony anyway. Like the fangs in a mouth, or fins in a mane, or holes in the hooves. Stuff like that is too easy to ignore.”
I continued wandering around the forest. Ever since I got rejected by that mare (Which was nothing but a slap to the face and her screaming at the top of her lugs at how my eyes accidentally turned to a complete aqua blue color, or were they indigo, or maybe they were just blue. Is that a real color?) Anyway, after that, I was forced to find other love to eat. Yet I couldn't find any around town, since I was forced to run out of it and hide in the forest from Queen knows what. Probably a royal guard or an angry mob.
After wandering around for so long, I started to become so desperate for food that I was thinking about finding love that wasn't from ponies, but from other creatures “Maybe I can find a rabbit,” I said. “or a squirrel, maybe even a butterfly.”
My eyes lit up once I said those words. “Hey yeah. Insects need to help other insects, and aren't I just like them, I got the wings for it, though not many bugs have fangs. Spiders have fangs, but aren't they arachnids. Wait, is there a difference?" My mind got back on track as I rubbed my chin, thinking about what to do.
Perhaps I could find a bug that could help me, I never tasted love from a bug, and now would be the perfect time to try it out. I held a hoof to my forehead and surveyed the area, looking through every branch of every tree, every twig of every bush, every blade of grass of...well...every other blade grass.
I spent two minutes trying to find some form of life in the forest, which to me felt like two hours. “Hey!” I yelled. “Anyling out there?” Wait. Do bugs have other derivatives for everyone? I know that ponies do that kind of thing. Did butterflies call one another everyfly? No no no. If they called each other that, then what would flies call each other. And what about other creatures besides insects? Do they do that to? I thought about what other creatures would call each other. Everydoggie, everybunny, everybear….
A growling stomach ruined my concentration, and this time it actually hurt me. I clung to my belly and laid on the ground, moaning and groaning in pain “Whyyyyyy mmmeeeee.” I cried. To add insult to injury, my ear started to twitch. “Oh great.” I groaned. “Looks like I’m gonna have to deal with this while I hear that stupid snoring…Wait.”
Once my stomach stopped its torment on my body, I got up on all fours and adjusted my ears, wanting to make sure that they weren't deceiving me. As my ear stems came to focus, I heard the sounds of a high pitched snore, and where there's snoring, there's a creature, and where there's a creature, there’s almost always love to be had. It sounded feminine to. What luck! Since opposite gender love, to me, tasted better.
Eating different gender love doesn't mean I’m biased or anything with same gender love eating changelings, it was just that my taste for love was something that normal changelings would prefer…
No wait! I-I didn't mean it like that. Every changeling is completely normal, even the ones that eat same gender love...No wait, aren't we all different, or are we all just mindless drones? Should I be questioning the ways of my queen right now?
Another hard growl in my stomach told me to get a move on with the story and find out where this snoring was coming from and who was doing it. I stuck my neck further out so my ears could get an exact location as to where it was coming from. “Sounds like its coming from…”
I scanned my eyes over the area. There were trees with branches so tangle that not even fly could get past it, so no bug there. There were bushes, but sleeping in a bush doesn't seem very comfortable. I cringed thinking about a poor hatchling having to sleep in something like that, it would be such a horrible thing for such a defenseless creature to go through, even if their own well being or past made them look like a villi-
A loud roar on my belly made my mind get back on track into finding that sleeping creature. I shook my head and let my eyes wander around again, listening with your eyes was better than your ears, right? Or was it the other way around?
My eyes fell upon a flower patch, nothing but multi-colored petals on stems. I had to admit though, they did look very pretty, the different colors of the flowers really bring it to life, and no thorns were on them either, and the translucent wings on one of them looked cool with the light shining on them.
Reminded me of my wings. I looked back and forth at my pair of wings to the other pair of wings on the flower, my wings looked more aqua blue, (or were they regular blue? maybe they just matched my eyes.) while the smaller pair of wings were completely clear and about ten times smaller than mine. They almost looked like somebuggy’s wings instead of the flower...Wait. That's it!
Somebuggy! That's the perfect name to give other bugs. Now I had something to call them if I ever meet one, now if only I could find one…
My mind took a couple steps back and started putting pieces together. Wings like those must belong to something other than a flower, and that snoring sounded even louder when I looked toward them. As the gears in my brain turned. I finally got it.
There was a bug sleeping on the flower, now that wasn't so hard.
I grinned, knowing now that my meal ticket was just yards away, I just had to get there unnoticed. This is my prey, after all. I Narrowed my eyes and glided my tongue against my lips to give a look of hunger. Looking back and forth, I made my way to my prey. First, I made a dramatic tumble toward a nearby tree, causing my fang to get stuck in the bark of it.
I groaned and pulled my pointy tooth out, licking it to make sure it was still in place. I focused back on the task at hoof and poked my head out of the side of the tree, still seeing that wings were still on top of the flower. I pulled my head back and broke physics by poking it out of the side of another tree closer to the flower, then I did the same to the tree next to it, then I did it out of a nearby bush, scratching my skin against the thorns in the process.
Realizing this I cringed and clamped my teeth on my hoof, holding in the shriek of pain in my throat. I looked over at the wings on the flower to see that a small body has appeared on it, or was that always their? I was a couple feet away from it, just one more break in the laws of physics and that bug would be mine.
Taking a deep breath, I pulled my head back into the bush and slowly rose behind the flower. From here I could see exactly what it was I was going to feed of off. I had never seen a creature like it before.
It had pink skin, and it had a very weird hairstyle. Its hair was long and puffy, as was its tail, it was like a ponies, but it was like its body didn't match their hair or something. It just didn't look right to me.
Plus, it had weird antennas protruding out of its head, were these like some sort of sensors that ants also had? were these things blind? I tilted my head, trying to get a better picture of this thing, but it was still the same. Just a small, cute, pink haired and skinned, antennaed...Thing. What was this creature called anyway? Did it even have a name?
*GROWL*
For the tenth time today my stomach cried for food. I was beginning to think that it was just trying to spite me. I mean, come one belly! I’m right next to food, why would you cry about it now. I continued looking at my stomach in anger, thinking that doing that would make it stop talking for the rest of the day. After that I licked my lips and opened my mouth, ready for a meal that was sure to taste good, I looked up at the little bug again.
Only to see that it was now staring back at me in horror. I couldn't blame it though, I was looking really scary at that moment, with my mouth hanging wide open, showing a tongue, fangs, and a throat, all visible for the poor thing to see. At that point it screamed and used it wings to make an exit.
I couldn't let It get away! What if this thing had other creatures just like it. That bug would send out an entire army at me. Maybe it even had other animals who were its ally, and the last thing I wanted to do right now was fight, so it was either that or run after the little guy on an empty stomach. So since I had no other option, I went with the later and chased after the thing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What was up with that things wings? How is it flying faster than I’m running, its wings are way too small to be doing something like this. How is it doing this? I just ignored that and continued chasing after the insect.
We zoomed past every tree and plant, I was just hoping that it wouldn't realize that, with its size, it would find some nice crawl space to hid in. It wouldn't stop screaming either, I lowered my ears just to drown out the noise. “Will you... just….stop flying.” I yelled in between breaths, reasoning usually works in these types of situations anyway.
It just gave another cry of fear and kept flying. At this point, I was starting to get a little bit irritated. All I wanted from this bug was love, and it was giving me fear, and that emotion had an awful taste to it. I decided to go for the direct approach and fight fire with fire by using my wings as well.
Within seconds the bug crashed into my chest. Seems like having bigger wings made me win this battle. I gave a smile and grabbed the winged creature. It struggled in my grip, I couldn't figure out why though, It wasn't like I was going to hurt it or anything, I just wanted to feed of off it. I brought it up to my face and looked it in the eye, it stopped screaming (thank chrysie) and instead gave a look of pure terror that was starting to weird me out.
I was about to say something, but my mind told me that I was still flying, and my eyes were telling me to look past the little bug and focus on the oncoming tree...wait...tree?
My jaws dropped as the tree came closer and closer. My instincts seemed to kick in as I turned my back toward the oncoming obstacle and prepare for impact, wait..why couldn't I just fly past it? Maybe I should do that inste-
*SMACK*
My back made contact with the tree, as did my wings. It almost felt like I tore one of them, but I was too busy crying in pain as I slid down the side of the tree. Every bark that wasn't embedded in the wooden plant was embedding into my skin. It felt like dull razors were slicing me.
The pain came to a stop as my flank hit the ground, causing even more pain on my body. Luckily for me, I was able to get over it, the pain outside of my body was nothing compared to the inside of my body. That reminded me about my little bug that I found.
I looked down to see that it was still in my grip, shaking its entire body and having its eyes completely shut. I didn't know what to say at that point, I didn't even know I would get this far really. So my stomach decided to talk first, making my cringe and hold my tummy. Why couldn't it just shut up for one day? The bug seemed to have snapped out of state of fear and was now looking at me with tears of joy, or at least it looked like it. Seeing this, I decided that now was the perfect time to tell it what I want.
“So..Uh...Can I eat you?”
You switch between the first and third person so much in this story, I wasn't able to finish it. That sad, it seemed interesting.
Correct that point, and I will gladly re-reed it!
Very funny, and I like the interesting thoughts. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Well, this story has potential, but it could really use some editing.
4273050 I apologise.
When I was first writing this story, it was in third person, but after writing more and more I realized that it would be better in first person. So I had to go back and fix it up to make it first person.
So, I'm sorry for messing up a bit in the story. I promise to fix it up a bit when I get the chance.
4273343
I'd also advise you break it up a bit. It's a bit 'wall of text'-like.
Interesting.
Now to cue in Dr. Evil.
"Somebuggy"
You've been reading my works, haven't you ?
lol XD
4273343 No problem. Just, can you tell me when you have corrected it?
4277032 oh....uh....well...I...um....
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/508/252/bf5.gif
maybe....
That cover art is freakin' adorable.
4278019
It's cool. Keep up the good work.
Aww this poor changeling is too cute I want to huggle him.
...THE COVER ART LEADS BACK TO THE STORY!
The cover art is much higher in quality than the story, imo.
A bit too stream of consciousness here. It's okay, if pretty jumbled. If your changelings are genderless, as some are, then he really shouldn't be concerned much with that. Also, if it's a hive mind, then you need to explain a little bit more about why he's all alone on his own.
Why would the "bug", ostensibly a breezie I take it have "tears of joy"? That's ridiculous, and why is this changeling so much of an idiot to propose that he would actually eat him/her/it? Is he really so hungry that his mind isn't working right...
4282337
Not all stories are explained in the first chapter my friend. All will be explained soon.
And this stories is in his perspective, so he thinks the bug is crying tears of joy.
And no, he's not an idiot, he's just....uh....well....
I'll get back to you on that one.
Hmmm i have to read another chapter but i think the first one went good already, it is nice to read.
4283166
I'd think that the best way of putting it is 'scatterbrained'. He/she might be intelligent, but his/her thoughts are a bit disorganized. Kind of like an absent-minded professor.
This is probably the most socially inept changeling in all of existence.
How he managed to survive up 'til now is a mystery never to be solved...
Holy crap dude, you write just like me. I'm serious. I was genuinely freaked out as I read this. It reminded me so much of one of my stories.
I CAN'T- I- I
...
I'm just gonna go lie down g'night
They should fuck.
Can't wait for more
4287949
i.imgur.com/Y5gpl.gif
(Before finishing):
Everydoggie! lol!
Alright, well there a good few noticable mistakes...but I feel that some of them really feed into the personality of this character...
His display of semi-ignorace and lack of focus os cute... I can almost hear his voice, too! lol.
All in all, pretty good.... Now....just one chapter to go...
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that this guy's a moron. No wonder the other mare smacked him and ran. Unless he finds Berry Punch drunk off her plot I don't think he'd be getting any love in any form from ponies.
4287949
.....Ignoring for the moment that this was part of what I'd expected someone to say (with disgust) I have to ask...How? It'd be like a female version of Jack from Jack and the beanstalk doing it with the giant.
...
Oh Lord, no! Mental images, STOP! Back, Rule 34 demons! Back I say!
or was that always their? may wanna change that to always there. Fantastic story though.
Perhaps you wanna replace skin with carapace or something like that, he's a changeling, with bug like armor and stuff.
4957872 Insect wings are made of Chitin, a nano-layer covering of the wings found in exoskeletons of invertebrate that makes it durable yet still light weight.
As StormyVenture said, a bit too much stream-of-consciousness-rambling there, and quite unpolished overall. And, really, don't use cartoon physics in a written story. It just doesn't work. Especially not if you then emphasize it.
Ah well. I'm just gonna read on and see where it goes.
This needs some severe editing, overall, but these are some specific errors I picked out:
> its not like anyone looks at the important features
"it's", not "its". One is the contraction of "it is", the other is just the possessive form of "it".
> or was that always their?
"there", not "their".
> Its hair was long and puffy, as was its tail, it was like a ponies
"like a [pony's]" - possessive, not plural.
> were these things blind?
Missing capital letter.
> I mean, come one belly!
"come [on]", I assume? Also, needs a comma before "belly", since it's an addressing term:
i.imgur.com/UrmIpMT.jpg
> I couldn't let It get away!
Why is there a capital letter on "it"?
> I went with the later and chased after the thing.
"latter", not "later".
> What was up with that things wings?
"thing's". Possessive, not plural.
> It struggled in my grip, I couldn't figure out why though, It wasn't like I was going to hurt it or anything, I just wanted to feed of off it.
This is actually two sentences. Maybe even three. Might want to look up "comma splice" and see how to get it right.