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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
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Much better than the original version.
Still have a few unanswered questions but I have feeling I will get the answers in the next few chapters.
Overall, Great work.
Got to say that I like the rewrite better. Discord isn't such a dick in this one and his motives are better.
I still don't like this chapter. My main problem with it is still there. Discord still ripped a soul out of another reality and then placed it in the body of a semi-dead colt without any kind of consent from the affected party and also, once again, takes credit for everything Button has accomplished. So essentially, Button didn't show off his human intelligence by figuring out how to channel magic in his new form, Discord somehow set it up to give him this ability and even somehow gave Button his raccoon companion Coco. Once again, Button's accomplishments are not his own, he hasn't actually done anything himself. I really don't like that, since as I stated before, I really started getting interested in this fic when it was a human mind/soul inside of a new body, and then figuring out via human ingenuity new ways to use this body's natural gifts in a manner almost no other member of his biological species had ever considered before. Now, it isn't human ingenuity, it's some "Chaos God" deciding to do all this when it probably would have been easier just to take a soul from this world then reach across realities to take one from "ours". Not only do I consider this to be beyond Discord's power (this kind of ability puts him into a "nigh-omnipotent god/physical abstract" form when I have always seen him as a powerful trickster Spirit, not a god), but he is seemingly able to do this without any kinds of reproach from other such powerful figures. Where are any of the gods or such entities from the human world to stop him from doing whatever he pleases? Does Discord not understand that just because he has the power to do something, doesn't mean he has the authority nor the right to do it? Is he just like a child given powers beyond their comprehension and so he can't empathize with other sapient creatures and thus can't understand how his actions may hurt/affect others? I hate this kind of Discord and I really don't like this kind of turn you made for this fic. I would have rather preferred it to have never been explained how Button came to be like this than have this explanation that Discord is some puppet-master that can pull the metaphysical essence of other creatures from other realities just to do something on this one world in this one reality (which is odd that he would confine himself to this one world if he does have the power this fic is insinuating he has). It just seems like a rather cruel and monstrous thing for Discord to do to Button when he has always appeared to me as a bratty trickster and not an omnipotent monster. It just seems out of character and wrong to me. So Discord better have a good reason and explanation for doing all this (as well as having the power to do it) to Button, otherwise this fic will have become incredibly disappointing to me.
Much better. I'm not sure what the dream at the beginning is supposed to mean, if anything, though. Oh well, great job with the re-write.
P.S. You could benefit from a pre-reader, though. There were a few errors and sentences that didn't make much sense.
5026781 So, one of you're complaints is that Discord just did what he wanted, and said to hell with the consequences? Basically, you're peeved that Discord is acting like Discord. Second, this isn't your story, so it doesn't matter how you think Discord should be. For all you know, he is a god in this, and that's the author's right. As for Discord doing everything for him, he didn't, he only helped point him in the right direction. Button still did it himself. It's like saying someone didn't actually solve a puzzle just because someone else pointed it out to them. I'm sorry if I'm coming off as mean or disrespectful, but you're just being too demanding of this story.
So tia in this story is a race superemist bitch? Sounds about right for her.
I hope the guy in Button's body breaks her horn off! Eh, how about the other race superemist bitch's horn as well.
OMG please tell me he will be freed of Discord soon and he can make him good.I can't wait to see what happens next.