• Published 18th Feb 2014
  • 11,532 Views, 313 Comments

Ain't done with these F****** - The Shade



Hello there, my name is Barbara, or rather, it were. In this place i'm more knowingly known as Alice, the Lady of Madness, a catchy title if you ask me.

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Two Sides of the Mirror

Guards, guards everywhere, left, guards, right? Guards, Forward? Sunbutt and more fucking guards, I knew just from the look on her face that I wouldn't be able to fake my way out of this.

My hair was black again and I moved forward in slow strides, no weapons were visible on my person, Celestia used to act very rashly a thousand or so years ago, but over time I noticed how her period seemingly wore off.

Twenty meters left before i'll reach her, some may argue that what i'm doing is stupid, but I want to show her just how much she and her sister had hurt me, even if it meant dying, if you discounted the guards this may very well have been a stand-off between to cowboys or something, the guards tensed up as I moved closer.

Ten meters.

I could literally see the fear in the guards eyes, I hadn't exited my spell after all, even with my slow regeneration it's still quick enough to easily cancel out the drawbacks of the spell, I ran my tooth over my teeth, smiling a little as the taste of blood made itself known, that mare weren't the best kisser, but the metallic tinge in my mouth made up for it.

I stopped two meters in front of Celestia, sat down, and began eating a salad that had been left on a table.
She looked at me like I just lost my marbles, I can understand how it may seem to her; Number one wanted in the entire world, the blood of thousands upon my hands, were sitting here, eating a salad with a smile.

Snapping out of her little episode, she glared at me, I met her glare with ten times the force, remember earlier how I told you about Jasper's glares? That guy never really needed to fight, a glare would scare away the cops.

I rose and stood at my tallest height, I'm sadly not very tall though and only reached slightly above her, but it's a primal fear that all creature's have, watch out for the big baddies, herbivores had this times six.

She didn't waver much though, she just tried to step up her glare a notch, which failed when I respectively increased my power of the glare.

I'm actually a friendly girl, at heart, it's just I never feel like acting nice, last time they had caught me with those blasted elements I were in the middle of a... Questionable activity, and singing Ready to Die by Andrew. WK while torturing someone tends to make you lose yourself, I still blame Luna for making me tip like that, all because she wanted immortality like her sister, she saw only one solution; Take it from someone that has more of it then they need, a percentage of eternity is still eternity, after all.

We thrust forward as if suddenly set on fire, her large broadsword that seemed older and stronger than time itself clashed with The Vorpal Blade, both swords shifted under the blow, my Vorpal Blade got blood red at the tip, only a small part of the rose out there, and sunbutts Titan's Fury caught on fire, a large brilliant flame went out of the sword at the next slash, slightly scorching my blade.

I jumped backwards as far as I could, gaining about Fifty meters of distance as I waited for Celestia to approach, I knew her sister were observing through the cloud spell, it didn't surprise me that Miss Sunbutt didn't want her precious sister in danger.

I barely had time to dodge as the sword went over my head, severing the hat from my head as I did a backflip, landing on my hands I got the hat on my foot, as I got back on my feet I found the hat on my head, with a grin I opened my Deck of Cards, and pulled out a Knight of Spades, pure luck really, and put it on the ground before she knew what I was doing.

I felt the power surging into my body, if there's one thing i've learned from playing video game's it's that you should always save your ace's for the bosses.

With a mad dash I swung my sword with all the power I could muster towards her head, sunbutt's Fury blocked the blow, but some of the flames seemed to extinguish as my own sword were halfway in on the roses.

"Paint it red, Celestia." Her eyes went wide as I pulled out a normal paint brush, seemingly dry, and slapped it across her face, red paint stained the majority of her body, still wet and dripping I dropped it on the ground, where it would disappear to god knows where.
She grabbed me in her magic and threw me across the street into a house, multiple destructive spells following.

Idiotic.

Groaning, I managed to pull out my umbrella just in time to reflect her fire spell, dodging out of the way for the second one I reflected the third, of which I found to be acid as the ground beneath me started to fizzle.

The surprise on Celestia's face was priceless, I grabbed a camera I always had on me, and took a picture of her just a mere second before the fireball collided with her.

"That, was a doozey" I said, knowing that Celestia would teleport to me in a second I readied the Vorpal Blade, she did not disappoint as the Titan's Fury nearly took my head of, before I caught it in my mouth.
That's right, I bit down on a sword.

That was on fire.

The fire didn't harm me very much though, as the entire blade seemingly extinguished instantly due to shock from the user, I spit the blade out at her hoof and took a stance with the Vorpal Blade.

"Come and get me, slut." In the corner of my eyes I saw a bunch of Unicorns charging some manner of spell, I smiled as the gigantic, blue and sparkling ball of energy came at me, pulling out my umbrella I relished the 'oh shit dawg' look on their face's as the spell was slung back at them, sadly, doing this granted Celestia the opportunity to stab me in the chest with her fiery sword, the surprised look on her face that she actually hit me told wavelengths of how used sunbutt were to killing, that's right, she nearly fainted.

Standing her ground though, she pulled the sword out of me and tried with a final badass speech as blood dripped out of the wound, I could feel myself phasing, but I still had my largest Ace in my sleeve.

"For your crimes against Equestria, Gryphonia and Zebrica, your vile acts against nature and the murders of... Six thousand, nine hundred and sixty two-" she glanced at the fried unicorns and frowned "- seventy five ponies, five hundred and thirteen Minotaurs, one thousand and five hundred twenty six Zebras and two thousand five hundred and ninety two Gryphons, I here by condemn you to death for the murder of eleven thousand, six hundred and six beings, and as a binding of permanent peace, your corpse will be given to the Gryphons." Eleven thousand... It really makes you think, I felt damn proud of myself, but I decided it was the time to activate my vice card, but not before I got to say my own badass line.

"Make that... Six thousand, nine hundred and seventy five ponies, and two Alicorn." I smirked as I activated my Hysteria, the wound instantly sealed itself and I went whiter than a ghost, blood started spilling out of my eyes and I felt a familiar weight on my back, putting The Vorpal Blade on my hip, I pulled out the weapon on my back.

The Hobby Horse slammed into the ground with a neigh as I missed Celestia by a few inches.
***
(Celestia, ten seconds before Alice spoke.)

It's... It's finally done, the most wanted murderer in the entire living word, the biggest scar on this planet, is dying, I guess a thousand years in stone made her rusty.

My sword impaled the ground as I took a deep breath, and almost gagged at the smell of blood.
Then, to my horror, The Lady of Madness spoke.

"Make... That... Six thousand... nine hundred and... and... seventy five ponies... two Alicorns." My eye's went wide as she turned white, the wound gone, her eye's were blacker than the depths of Tartarus, and seemed to cry blood.

She sheathed her sword, there were only one rose left unpainted on it, and pulled out something from her back.

I only reacted out of instinct as a giant oh Faust why pony head embedded itself in the ground, it gave of a happy and loud neigh as I narrowly dodged it, Alice were not done however, as she kept flailing the giant head around, I found no time to give of a counter attack, the last remaining unicorns in the guard were firing of magic spells at her, but she just pulled out her umbrella and deflected them without breaking a beat, eventually I tried to dash for Titan's Fury, but a giant blunt force interrupted me as it slammed into my back, a searing pain shot through my spine and I swear I heard something snap, if I were not moments away from passing out, I would have told Luna to stay away.

(Alice, Present.)

Slam, slam slam. Deflect, slam slam deflect. Slash, deflect slam. Deflect slam slam deflect. my mind worked in perfect harmony as I went through the attacks, sunbutt dashed for her sword after a while, I managed to slam my Hobby Horse down on her spine, time seemed to slow down as I added more pressure until I heard something snap, satisfied I slipped a gem onto her sword, so she wouldn't be able to grab it with magic.

I knew Luna and her guards were coming from behind, but my Hysteria had a mere fifteen seconds left, using these seconds I pulled out my pepper grinder and began mowing down guards, they dropped like Boltflies, some got their wings clipped and other's just got their brains pierced.

Five seconds left.

Putting my pepper grinder back in my hat, I made a dash for the outskirts of the city, the speed combination of Fate and my Hysteria allowed me to make it to the edge in just a few seconds, jumping of the edge I began to float towards The Everfree, I used to have my house there, built underground by some Dragons and Diamond Dogs when I slaughtered their Alpha.

I smiled at the memory, and kept descending into the forest, aiming for the mountain.

I hit the toe of the mountain, just like I wanted too, and moved my way around, feeling around for my entrance.

I felt a thin stone wall, smiling I reared back and slammed my first into it, breaking the surface and revealing a large, large iron door with a very complicated combination code, with a small snicker I put in the code, Ace, Diamonds, Knight, Spades, King, Clubs, Queen Hearts.

The door opened and air sucked in, blowing away some of the dust that had gathered over the centuries, with a critical eye I inspected the untouched dust and nodded in approval as I made my way down the staircase, making sure to close the door behind me, my venture downward were a long and boring one, it took nearly two hours to reach the bottom of it, then another three hours of avoiding traps to reach my house, it looked exactly like I remembered it, and I smiled.

It was perfect!

Author's Note:

Sorry for the slightly shorter chapter, but it had to be done in order for my 23:00 deadline to be reached.
Btw, sorry for no Backstory, but i'm planning on doing a lot of the Backstory about Alice with another author, who currently can not be accessed, and I don't want to be the Mr. Filler Guy.