Ain't done with these F******

by The Shade

Mirror's Call

Previously on Ain't Done, I saw a rock that looked to be practically begging me to take cover, and cover was taken. I would have laughed as her jaw hit the floor, but instead I scanned the page and began reading.
"You see, back then, Sombra was a dragon and fought against evil..."

I felt that.
Confusing as it may sound, trust me when I say that Daring was even more confused by me suddenly freezing up.
Someone, or rather... Somepony had destroyed my calling card, I'm not sure of who or why, but heads are going to roll.
If it's his, or his enemy, only time will tell.
I had been in the middle of explaining to Daring Do about Sombra back when he was a dragon and I was just getting to the Battle of Tartarus, back when it was firstly opened one thousand years ago, with disastrous results.
But then I felt it, the tearing in my soul, the agonizing numbness that comes from it and the feeling of betrayal in my heart.
"Dullahan..." it was the only I could think of, neither Jack nor Pyramid would tear it, and I don't think Pyramid is even aware of it's existence.

I had the book on me, but from my pain I was stumbling down the hallways, crashing into doors and tripping, Ace appeared more than once but did not say anything, he must have seen the determination on my face.
"Angering me, is a bad idea..." I had a very limited amount of calling cards, one single deck, and they each connected to me -- to my soul, I could almost pinpoint their location at any given time, but for it to be teared? It's only happened once before... I shall not mention him.
"You don't mess, with the Lady... Madness overcomes all. Armor means little to me, your soul is visible in plain view..."
He's better got a really nice explanation planned, I don't betray friends.
Was my hallways ever this long? I can't remember, having a piece of your soul ripped out is pretty equal to heavy blood loss, i'm just lucky that i'm not hallucinating or seeing things.
I had to slam my sword into the ground to avoid falling on my face as I blacked out for a second, the pounding in my head grew louder by the minute.

"Satan's Damnation, what did he do with it? I feel drained..." I will not deny having tapped into my natural magic reserves, rather than my gloves, but it feels like he truly messed with things he shouldn't have, and I have been the price.
"Maybe he teared that wiseass a new one... Shame though, I would rather have done it myself..."
The rest is pretty blurry, up until I reached my outer door and kicked it open, it was unnecessary but made me feel better if nothing else.

Stumbling out from my home I fell down the flight of stairs and onto the cavern floor, taking a few seconds to just study the roof as I laid on my back, I never noticed the glowing fungus before, and have that crack always been there?
I stood up and pulled the book from under my hat, holding it in front of me with my sword ready, I chanted his name three times.
"Dullahan," my voice echoed in the cave in an eerie fashion, but not to be distracted from my act I rose my voice and this time, with more force.

"Dullahan!" I was roaring by this point, and the growl in the back of my throat born from anger didn't really help, I took another deep breath and allowed a snarl to form on my face as I swung my sword in the air, just in front of me roaring yet again
"Dullahan! Come to me, or you shall face the wrath of The Triad! And we do not show mercy!"
I'm not sure what I was expecting, for him to just pop in? For a wormhole to open up and him to walk through it? Well, I know that I did not expect him to literally just fucking explode into existence with a rainbow, thankfully I were able to pull out my umbrella before the rainsplosion reached me, so I was left more or less undamaged.
Looking at him, I growl a bit as I slip the book back into my hat and take a two handed stance with The Vorpal Blade.
"You ruined my Calling Card, you have exactly ten seconds to explain yourself, if you have not by then, pray to your deity."
The armor let out a snorting noise, somehow, and drew a blade that I noticed was different from the one he’d had before. Accessing memories...ah yes, the Lady of Madness, a member of the Triad. Alice, I believe you’re called. Believe me when I say that the one before you and the one you encountered are not one and the same...not anymore.
I look at the armor and snarled.
“Believeable story, but I do not believe you counted for one thing, if you’re not one and the same, then I would have summoned him, not you, correct?”

Unless his very soul was seperated from me and given a body of its own. The Token was tied to this form, not his. He has his own, now.
“Oh, is that the case? I do believe I need to have a little… chat with him as soon as I can…”
Accessing memories...oh. You’re probably upset about that whole ‘him dissolving all the Tokens he possessed to Banish a bastard,’ bit. Mostly because yours was one of them.
I clapped and rolled my eyes.
“Sharp, for a pile of scrap.”
The story is hard to simplify, but I shall try. A pony tried to dominate...heh. My world with Psynergy. He tried to take over the Princesses. He nearly killed the same mare twice! The one you blame needed the energy contained in as many Tokens as possible to ensure the bastard was banished forever to the Void Eternal.

“Now… I’m not one to be selfish -” A lie, of course. “- but I own a very limited amount of Calling Cards, I’ve currently fourty nine and I can slip and drop them, each of them are deeply bound, I literally felt my own soul get ripped in two and patched by ductape.”
The armor shifted a bit, had I made him uncomfortable? He had no idea that it would be that bad. He also felt something, a pang in his heart every time one was dissolved. But if it’s humiliation or pain for him you seek, you’re tough out of luck: he beat you to it.
“Hm, I need to talk to him still, no matter if it’s for revenge or vengance, I take it he had more Tokens? Yes? He doesn’t realize what damage he’s done on the Thread as a whole, if you have a thin piece of rope holding two worlds together, don’t take a hatchet to it.”
The armor waved a hand about. Now is not really a good time. In fact, I was about to curse whoever summoned me until I realized it was you. The boy’s been challenged by one who Understands just as much as he does. It goes by the name of Teridax...and frankly, it’s put him and the entire world on high alert.
He goes to continue but I interrupt him with a hand.
“Take me there, I protect my friends, if you can remember when he first visited, Madness always find a way, even for those whom are insane, if he Understands, he needs to Realize.”

The armor shifts around again. It was not I who first realized the threat. It was the boy riding shotgun...I think that’s the phrase? It’s difficult having memories that aren’t yours...anyways, the boy is...he might not take kindly to his home being invaded. It’s what Teridax has done, after all. I can take you to the border, but you’ll have to beggar entrance yourself.
“I don’t take the beggars entrance, I knock out the guards and drag their cold bodies and dump them in the river.” I joked.
You misunderstand: the wards are such that one must be invited in.
“Well, Armor Boy knows me, whatever he’s called now, probably Ben or Tommy, or something equally braindamaging.”
The suit sheathes its blade and extends his hand. I’ll let you find that out yourself, along with the...other surprises. Are you ready?

“I’m madness incarnate, I do not think much can literally surprise me, but I am ready.”
I sheath my sword and grasp his hand, bracing myself.

You might want to close your eyes, the Void Eternal isn’t meant to be perceived like mortals do.
I couldn’t keep a smile off my face.
“My, asking a girl to close her eyes and hold your hand before the first date? Did your mother teach you no manners?”
Your sanity’s funeral...or what’s left of it, anyways.
“I lost all my sanity long ago, you probably aren’t even wearing that funny hat that looks like an aligator right now…”
A flash of light, a strange pulling sensation from just behind my heart, and the most indescribable sights later, and we were standing outside a massive wooden gate set into an equally-sized stone wall. Behind it loomed a tower that had to be at least fifty feet tall.
“... Was that taco eating another taco?”
The armor shrugged. I wouldn’t know. I leave you here, my vigil calls me. My sanctum is the one weakness, and I must guard it.
Another flash of light, and I was alone outside the tower’s door.
“... But seriously? Nevermind the swords fighting with swordfist, a taco eating another taco?!” I look around, seeing mostly nothing I decided to politely knock.

With my Hobby Horse, this place is weird, I shouldn’t even have it, I guess it’s more or less bound to my soul here… In the ‘Void Eternal’ material and the lack of thee is one and the same.
And thus, I slammed the silver horse head into the gate seven times, waited thirteen seconds and slammed my feet into the ground, it’s the code I gave Armor Boy last boy he was in my world, I just hope he remembers it.
There was a flash of light from atop the wall and a distinctly female voice called down to me. “Who are you and...well I guess the question of what has been answered. Who are you and why do you seek an audience with the one who lives here?”
“I’m Alice! I like to bake cookies, kiss girls and all in all have a good time, but no, I come to see Armor Boy or whatever he’s called now, Psyngergy master, used to look like a big armor? Maybe he still does… Anyways, I think he tore some wiseass a new one and I helped him get a body once! Then I did a Team Fortress Two thingy to which he played along and don’t I need to breath in this place because it feels like I should’ve run out of breath long ago? Either waaaaay, I hear he’s in need of some aid, tell him The Lady has come to give The Master a visit.”

The voice was silent for a moment before replying. “And you’re sure you’re not a humanized Pinkie Pie?”
“I once pretended to be her so I could escape a bunch of elite guards! Almost crushed my ribs, but just tell him that The Lady has come, and The King is available, and that I really need to talk about my calling card because I’m about to pass out.”
Another few seconds passed before the gates slowly ground open. What I saw was...well, I’ll just describe it. Two unicorns, one white, one orange, one female, one male. The white one had a black-and-gray mane, brown eyes, a green flask for a cutie mark. The orange one had a black mane that turned to gold at the end, golden eyes, a set of crystal-blue hooves, and a cutie-mark of an eclipse. He looked at me with a semblance of shock before sighing.
“Alice Liddel, Lady of Madness. An honor to see you again, but why have you sought me out?”
“Do you know how much it hurt when you ripped my card?”
It was a plain question really, but I couldn’t have gotten my point across better even if I tried, he winced and looked aside before answering.

“Almost as much as it hurt to think I would never see any of my friends across the Multiverse again. Or perhaps as much as it hurt Measured Thought here to be under that bastard’s direct control, where not even her actions or words were her own. I needed the energy to exile him. I apologize if it hurt too much, but if I had to choose again...I’d only do it sooner.”
“Hm, very well, I am aware that it was heavy damage and permanent, much like losing a limb due to this having happened to me once before, but wait, so you’re Armor Boy… You look cute, are you married with that mare yet? You always did seem a bit young…”
He actually looked thoughtful for a moment before shaking his head. “This isn’t my normal form. I...well, put it this way. I gained a massive amount of power when I seperated from the armor. Without a certain threshold, Equus changes you to be more Harmonius. I had more than enough normally...but she was dying.” Here he put a hoof on the mare’s shoulders...withers? Whichever. “I had one shot, one chance. And I don’t regret it. I broke my own mental barriers and gave up all that I could to save her.”
“Huh, so I hear you have a pest problem, I called Dully, seems like I’ll have to be the exterminator.”
And then the pony’s eyes widened and he shook his head rapidly. “I would heavily not advise that. He Understands, and he’s not normal. He’s a goddamn robot, I’m not sure what would be effective on him yet!”
I give him a look.
Yes, that look, the only look a woman can give a man when he’s being stupid.
“Remember what you said to me when you visited? Madness always finds a way, and I’m far beyond insane, unless you truly have three eyes.”

He sighs this time. “He’s also called for an army. I’m not sure who all will join up with him, but I was visited by a version of goddamn Freddy Krueger.”
“Ohhh! I like that guy, never met him but I’ve watched enough movies, and he’s calling for an army?... Armor Boy, did I ever tell you how many I have killed in self defence or when there was no other option? I waged a one woman war on the gryphons, ponies, minotaurs, Catizens and several other civilzations at once, and won. What was their reason for starting it all? I’m quoting the current griffin king now, ‘Your mere existance offends us, you will be eliminated, I have made a pact with the world.’, So yes, I am well aware what damage one of us can cause, what were we talking about again?”
“...I’d almost forgotten how tangentical our conversations got. Fine. If you actually think you can stop a robot, his robot army, or his army of fellow Displaced. By all means, feel free. It’s not like you can stop Madness once it’s let out of the box.”
I smile and nod at him
“See? You are learning, if the robots can be destroyed through piercing, blunt trauma, words, through technical malfunctions, through acid, fire, water ice or lightning, hell if they in any way can be damaged, I am the person for the job.”
He smiled and nodded. “Well. At least that’s one person on my side. And you...said something about the King to Measured?”
I nod and search for the doll on my body, I know I kept it here somewhere…
About ten minutes later I was about to strip out and see if I had forgotten it in my inner pockets just when I found it.
“Ah, here, I can probably convince him, I mean they’re all sinners, correct? An army is not without sins, I know that Jack will come to my aid if I ask and… There’s more mad people across the multiverse, none insane enough to classify as the titles, but there’s still some that come close, I think Trevor is out there.”
The pony seemed to stare off into the distance and asked a question absently. “What does it say about the monsters when the Triad decides they’re too mad to be allowed to exist unchallenged?...”
“Eh, nah, but you are well aware that I will die for those I call friend, and if I so have to destroy the world, everything on it and the universe itself to make that happen… So be it.”
I crack my knuckles and walk towards him.
“Now, get over here and give me a hug ya dingus.”
The pony lets out a wan smile and gives a smartass response. “Only when I see you toss your knives, you’re a madwoman and I’m not entirely sure I’ve convinced you me and Dully were one and the same yet.”
“Hmm… I feel something radiate from your coat you know? I don’t think my mere knives could get through that, but if you truly want to…”
And thus, I removed my knives.
All of them.
I hide them everywhere, which means I practically had to strip out of my clothing down to bra and panties to drag them away from my hips and through my boots, I look up to him and smile when a pile of near fifty knives lay next to me.
“There, all gone.”
He looked to the pile and sighed. “The only one I’m concerned with is the one that goes snicker-snack, m’dear. And I don’t see it there.”

I look over my body, the sword wasn’t on me, not a cause of panic of course, I had hid it.
“Do you see it anywhere?”
He smiled and held up a hoof, which I only now noticed was the same color as the blade he once wielded.
“Allow me to ask you the same: do you see my most dangerous weapon anywhere?”
“Well, not directly, I can feel the same radiance coming out of your hooves as it did with your sword, I kind of feel like an undead next to an Exalted Monk, not fun times. Anyways, I’m guessing it’s either in your hooves or you shoved it up where the sun don’t bloody shine, and that would be painful.”
He rolled his eyes and laughed slightly. “Yes, but at least this way, if you touch my hooves or I touch you, it won’t automatically activate anymore. We’ve...bonded a bit. But the lesson was, just because it doesn’t look like my most dangerous weapon, doesn’t mean I don’t still have it. Or something similar for you. I’d rather not end up testing this coat against something Vorpal.”
“Mhm… If you want to, I can see if you manage to take a low charge Teapot Cannon on your coat without it eating through… I do believe it will though, aaaanyways, in the Void Eternal or whatever I was looking around, why was swords fighting with Swordfish? How did they even hold it? And why did one taco eat another taco then poop out a third of which it ate?”
He actually blinked three times in confusion. Darn, was hoping for more. “You looked at the Void Eternal, unshielded? How are you- you’re not, nearly forgot that bit.” He held a hoof up to his face and sighed again. “This...I’m not sure if this is why I work with you or why I don’t.”
“Both, probably, yeah definitely both. By the way your wife seems cute -” I gesture to Measured. “- If I did not have respect for married couples I would proooobably have done something extremely… What’s the word for wrong again? In-something, blast this Swedish tongue.”
“Let’s go with lewd and leave it at that,” the pony replies. Measured blushes a bit and nudges him.
“Auric, aren’t you going to inform her?”
He tries to shush her. “Not in front of her, that’ll only make trouble.”
“You are aware that I can hear you, right?”
“I was counting on it, I had hoped those things on the side of your head weren’t just for decoration.” Sarcasm levels rising fast!
I feel my smile slowly drop, reaching my hand up to my left ear I pull it off, no blood no nothing, I just pulled it off as if it was glued.
“Ya dingus they are decoration, I got them chopped off.” Bloody executioner job… Always have to chop me ears off…
They remained silent, Measured looked like she was about to gag and Armor Boy stared in the space ahead of him, unblinking and unmoving.
“Ey? You gonna invite me to tea or just stare at the darkness and admire the view?”
He sighed and motioned to the door. “C’mon in Alice. Just don’t complain when I show you something crazy.”
I couldn’t have given him a more deadpan look even if I wanted to.
“You are aware who you’re speaking to, correct?”
The base floor had five other doors, four had symbols on them and he moved to none of them. I did a quick calculation and figured that the room was the size of the entire bloody floor, but if that was the case, then where did this door-
My mental objections cut off as he opened it to reveal a bathroom, shut it, opened it again, found a bedroom, shut it again, and finally found a kitchen on the other side.
“Fancy… One very bad thing with this though, I could notice that the door was enchanted, hell it seemed as alive as you did when I moved your soul… What if someone were to drop a poison bomb, get a gas mask and just open the doors? That way it would go through your entire tower very quickly.”
He blinked a few times as the idea occured to him and shuddered. “Next project, more safety protocols in door network...and yeah, I should hope they’re alive. They have minds of their own, it’s one tower-spanning network. Hate stairs in pony body. Hate too many stairs in general. Sombra was a twit, installing fifty thousand stairs.”
“Ah, I remember Sombra, I used to be in a relationship with him, nice man… Was he a dragon for you as well? I don’t know what happened exactly, but he changed after The Battle of Tartarus, became more distant.”
He shook his head. “Nah, mine was different. Some sort of student of Cel’s, went up there to study crystals and dark magic...and fell to it, naturally. Sad to see a teacher have to take out their apprentice. I got wind of it as things went south, and decided to make a showing. Shouldn’tve done it, to be honest.”

I hmm’d and looked around, the kitchen seemed far too ordered, I couldn’t find the spices in my quick look…
“So, similar stories… But not exactly the same. Sombra was a Black Dragon, one of the first, I do know that he had the ability to transform into a pony, but he never did in the risk of corruption, Damnations to Tartarus though, we fought alongside eachother for weeks in that bloody battle, here’s a hot dose: No matter how much I tried, they kept coming, and they were overwhelming, abberations, abominations, Succubi, though those are nice if you can converse with them, Demon Lords, Pitlords, it was literally me and three dragons against all of them… I guess something must’ve gotten to Sombra.”
He tilts his head, clearly thinking about something, while Measured puts a teakettle on a stove and begins rummaging through a cabinet. He gets my attention with a simple question. “What was the latest thing of Nightmare-Moon levels that happened to your world?”

I gave him the kind of smile a pedophile gives a young boy after offering them candy when they move towards the van.
“Me.”

He deadpanned at me and waved his hoof in a ‘go on,’ motion.
“Well, you see when I’m out Discord doesn’t dare to come out, I have more than one bone to pick with him you know? Bloody scoundrel… He tried to steal my title, it did not work out well for him. At all. In my world he wasn’t just imprisoned in stone, oh no he was bound to stone, literally, that piece of concrete? That’s him, fully.”
He hummed a bit. “Who’s the captain of the royal guard, and do you know the niece of Celestia?”
“The current captain of the royal guard is Nightime Fang, she’s fairly good at it as well, I heard some dork named Shining Armour were going to be the captain, but I kind of may have slaughtered his men once, self defence purely, they were looking to kill me and all exits were blocked, I think he was demoted after that, and the Niece of Celestia is Mi Amore Cadenza, right?”
He nods and lets out a small smile. “Assuming you haven’t derailed their love life...once they get married, you’ll have a nice surprise soon after up north, what with the return of an Empire.”

“I am well aware, my world’s timeline is still before Discord breaking out, techincally. And I am well aware about the changelings at the wedding as well, I have a bone to pick with Chrissy… On top of that, I maaay have gone through my brothers notes on the new episodes back home, however long ago that was. Oh right, I forgot to mention this last time, it’s fairly important as well. If you’re planning to go back to our world, be very, very careful, your body was literally ripped apart to give the energy to bind you to that armor, and is the laws of physics different here because I’m not supposed to talk for this long without breathing.”
He shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. But if I had to guess, you’re either tapping into Pinkie’s innate magic, or there’s something in the air here. Anywho…” and at this, Measured trotted over with a tea tray, “Tea?”
With the heaviest English accent I could possibly muster I thickly reply with
“Oh bu’ yes of course! Tea is the most important meal of the day! Give you energie to go on, yo know?” I dig around in my dress and yes I still have it on, I wouldn’t be talking with Armor Boy without clothes.
That reminds me…

“Armor Boy, what’s your name?”
I finish finding my chai tea and smile at him.
He doesn’t smile back.
“I don’t give out my birth name, Alice, but I’m going by Auric Fulcrum now. Only makes sense, I got hit with the Golden Sun here, and give me a lever and a place to stand, and moving the earth’s the least I could try.”
“Intruging… You know what?” I walk up and stand in front of him, going down on one knee so I’m more or less at eye level with him.
I then quickly snatch him up in a hug.
“You’re so cute.”
He sputters a bit before slowly, carefully returning the hug. “I will be so happy when I can choose to formshift as I want to again.”
“Mhm, you’re soft, even though that I can feel that your skin itself is like nanomachines, heh I’ll be calling you Nano from here on out.”

I pet him a few times and stand up, still holding him.
Then, I put my hand on my back and flip him over.
Then… I do the most evil thing I can think of, tickle his tummy.

Author's Note:

I don't know, don't ask. More upcoming.

Comments

[Eclipsemlp666]

*whistle* It's still alive? Damn.

[Dragonlover553]

you probably aren’t even wearing that funny hat that looks like an aligator right now…

*pulls out a funny hat that looks like an alligator, puts it on*

[Wasteland_Tyrant]

What story is Jack from again?