• Published 15th Jan 2014
  • 4,190 Views, 107 Comments

Kinds of Love: The World - Rainedash

A series of short stories set in the 'Kinds of Love' universe.

  • ...

The Princess of Shipping vs Pinkie Pie

Shining Armor and Princess Cadance walked through the center of Ponyville after having left the library. After thinking things over and talking to Twilight about her friends, it was decided that the first target would be Pinkie Pie.

“I can't believe Twily made us sign a written agreement. Well, no, I can believe it, though it's still insane for a bet,” said Shining Armor as he watched her study every pony they passed by. “And you aren't even listening to me.”

“You say something, sweetie?” she asked while getting a good look at a passing blue stallion.

“Nothing.” Sometimes I wonder if Twilight got her single-mindedness from Cadance. He stopped just outside of Sugar Cube Corner. “Are you sure you want to start with Pinkie? From the sounds of it, picking a good partner for her won't be easy.”

“According to Twilight the more a pony tries to study Pinkie the less they'll understand about her. It's better to just pick somepony off of intuition rather than trying to compare and contrast traits.” She pushed open the door to thankfully see that the bakery didn't have many customers. It was the middle of the day so they figured it would be long after the initial morning rush, if a town like Ponyville even had one. “Besides, I'd rather start with the hardest and end with the easiest of the group.”

“Fair enough.” Getting close to the counter, Shining spoke up to the pink pony running it. “Pinkie?”

“Oh my gosh, Twilight didn't tell me you two were coming. I totally didn't even get the chance to set up a ‘Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor are Coming to Ponyville’ celebration.” She rambled on, the words coming out one right after another, not allowing for any interruption. “On no no no, this won't do at all, I've got to go to the party store, teach ponies a song and dance to do in unison, and put up a banner. You two will simply have to go away for an hour and come back again.”

“Ahem, Pinkie Pie, that will not be necessary. Really, we don't need a celebration when we come to visit Twilight,” said Cadance, hoping her words will get through to Pinkie..

Shining immediately added, “Also, we needed your help with something,” hoping to cut off any disagreement Pinkie might have about that statement.

“Oh really?” asked Pinkie. Her tail started wagging. “You need MY help? Oh, this must be something super special then.”

“Well you see, Shining and I have a little bet going on,” said Cadance, explaining the situation to her. “So, what do you say? Will you go on a date with a stallion I chose?”

“That sounds fun!” Pinkie bounced over the counter and kept jumping in place in front of Cadance. Up and down she went as her words came out in perfect rhythm with her movements. “Who's the pony? Do I know him? Is he a pegasus? No wait, a unicorn? Oh oh, do they love cake?”

“Uh, I-I haven't picked him out yet.” Cadance stumbled backwards. “I didn't expect you to be so enthusiastic about the idea.”

“Why wouldn't I be?” asked Pinkie. “It gives me something fun to do.”

“We'll let you know as soon as we found somepony,”said Shining Armor.

“Okie dokie loki.”

A male voice came from the kitchen in the back. “Pinkie, I need some help back here. The dough keeps rising! Oh Celestia, it won't stop!”

Pinkie tsked. “Again? This is the last time I ever get a recipe from Discord. I'm on my way Mr. Cake!”

They watched as Pinkie grabbed a rolling pin from behind the counter and then went charging into the back room. “You know... she already is part of the Cake family in most regards,” noted Cadance.

Shining's ear flicked as the words sunk into his head. He stood in shock at the idea itself and that Cadance would actually suggest it. “Cadance, no,” chastised Shining. “Mr. Cake is a married stallion.”

“I know that, but I'm sure a lot of stallions would enjoy having a second mare. Wouldn't you?”

Nope! I am not taking that bait. “And a lot of mares would slap them for suggesting that.”

“Fine, fine. I was merely joking anyways.”

“It's hard to tell with you sometimes.” He felt his wife's soft, warm cheek rub against his and he returned the gesture. “You do have the habit of getting carried away.”

“Relax, I wouldn't go that far.” She stopped nuzzling him and her eyes turned toward the ceiling as she thought on the matter. “Though this won't be easy. The stallion that dates Pinkie will have to be energetic, fun loving, and maybe a little eccentric,” said Cadance as she turned and started walking out.

“Wait, we aren't going to get anything while we were here?”

As Shining followed her out, he heard more yelling from the back. “It has the rolling pin! Retreat!” yelled the male voice, Mr. Cake if he had to guess.

“Stand your ground soldier! We aren't letting it take this kitchen without a fight!” yelled Pinkie.


Cadance and Shining Armor walked down through Ponyville's main road, listening to the chatter of the ponies they passed by. “Maybe I should have asked Twilight for a complete list of all available stallions in town.”

“She probably would make one too, if you asked,” said Shining Armor. As they approached the Apple family's apple stall, they noticed a stallion with Applejack. He had a long, dirty-blonde mane and wore a vest and a stetson.

“Oh, he's cute,” said Cadance. They were just close enough to hear Applejack and the stallion talking without being seen.

“Well, it sure was nice of you to come up for the family get together, Braeburn,” said Applejack as she manned her stall. “Shame about your date getting busy all of a sudden though.”

Braeburn shrugged. “Relax cus', these things happin'. Shucks, a fun party is a fun party with or without a date.”

“I know, but it'll be a might harder for you to find a dancing partner for the square dance.”

“Darn. Ah was looking forward to that, too.”

“Psst, have you seen that pony around before,” whispered Cadance to her husband.

“No. Sounds like he's Applejack's cousin,” responded Shining Armor.

“And from the sounds of it, he needs a date.” She looked at him with a sideways glance and a coy smile.

Shining just waited, knowing that she'd made her selection. Now it was just a matter of seeing just how Cadance would go about pushing this Braeburn pony into a date with Pinkie Pie, and he wouldn't have to wait long seeing how she just walked up to the pair. He followed behind her.

“Huh, well, it ain't everyday that we get royalty around here. Er, aside from the princess that lives here anyways,” said Applejack as she tipped her hat to them..

“P-Princess Cadance?” Braeburn yanked his hat from his head and bowed to them. “Greeting's your majesty.”

Cadance giggled. “There is no need for such formality. My husband and I are merely visiting our sister. So, treat us as you would any other pony.”

“Ya don't have ta worry Braeburn, they ain't like typical nobles. Just relax around them,” added Applejack.

“I-if you say so, Princess.” Braeburn waited a second and then put his hat back on.

“I couldn't help but overhear that you needed a date to your family get together.”

“Well, that's the long and short of it,” said Applejack. “His last date bailed and now he won't have a dancin' partner.”

“Eyep,” said Braeburn. “But, what can you do?”

“Well actually, I think I might be able to help you out,” said Cadance.

Braeburn cleared this throat. “T-that's mighty kind of ya, but don't ya already have a husband?”

Shining Armor stifled a laugh as Cadance responded, “Oh heavens no, I wasn't talking about me. You see, I was just speaking to a friend of your cousin, Pinkie Pie, and she was telling me that she would love to try going on a date.”

“Wait a second, Pinkie said that?” asked Applejack. “Now that don't sound like her.” Applejack shrugged. “Though it could be a good idea. Ah was fixin to invite her anyways, what with the chance that the Pie family has some Apple blood in them.”

“Wait, Pinkie is a part of the Apple family?” asked Shining Armor. Braeburn perked up too, seeming just as surprised.

“It’s possible. We still need to look more into the records to tell for sure. Oh, if you’re getting worried, you shouldn’t be. At best her family is a few generations removed,” explained Applejack. “We might have a common ancestor, but it ain’t like she’s a first cousin.”

Braeburn's muzzle scrunched up. “Oh, now ah remember Pinkie. She did that horrible song that nearly caused Apploosa to get destroyed.”

“And I'm sure she's very sorry for that.” Cadance walked around Braeburn until she was standing at his side and placed her wing over Braeburn’s back, who promptly went bright red. “You must admit, she is a rather cute mare.”

“That she is,” responded Braeburn, looking away from Cadance. “Her song may have been bad, but she was a pretty good dancer, from what I recall.”

“What do you say? Will you ask her out?”

“Y-yes, princess. But uh, could you...” The wing moved away from him. “Thank ya, kindly.” He walked off towards Sugar Cube Corner.

“Laid it on there a bit thick, didn't you?” asked Shining. He laid down a couple bits on Applejack's stall and took a nice, big granny smith apple. “Poor guy froze up when you wing-hugged him like that.”

“Why were you trying to get him to date Pinkie Pie anyhow?” asked Applejack.

“Shining Armor and I have a bet going to see if I can find a good partner for each of Twilight's friends.” Cadanced walked up to the stall. “Which reminds me, what about you Applejack? Would you care to go on a date with somepony of my choosing?”

“Well...A-ah...” she stumbled over her words, “Ah'll have to think about it. But ah can't until after my family's shindig is over. Somepony's gotta keep an eye on everything while it's going on, you know.”

“But of course. I'll talk to you sometime after it's over and see what you would like in a stallion,” said Cadance.

“R-right...” Applejack's muzzle scrunched up and she turned away from them.


“Don't worry, Mr. Cake and I were able to beat the dough into submission. He put up a big fight though.” Pinkie tossed an apple fritter into the air and caught it in her mouth on its way down. She had decided to wear boots and a green bandana around her neck. “Mmf mm mmmf.”

“Well shoot, sounds like quite the tall tale there Pinkie,” said Braeburn. The pair had just finished up a bit of dancing and were talking while going through a plate of freshly made fritters, just outside of the Apple family barn.

Pinkie plucked the hat from Braeburn's head and put it on, leaning it forward a bit. “Ah'm the sheriff of that there kitchen,” she said, putting on an accent like Braeburn's, “Ain't no bad dough gonna go damaging a stove on my watch, ya hear?” She put it back on his head as he laughed.

“You sure are something, Pinkie. Great in the kitchen, and a fine dancer too. Never seen a pony pick up on square dancing as fast as you did.”

Pinkie shrugged. “It's basically just the Simon Says. All I had to do was copy what the song told me to.”

Braeburn got quiet for a moment as he stared at some of Applejack's apple trees in the orchard surrounding the barn. Flashes of his own orchard set against the desert landscape appeared in his mind, and he sighed at the thought.

“Something wrong, Braeburn? Is it too cold for you up here? Didn't sleep last night? Bad fritters? Oh my gosh, don't let it be bad fritters. Everypony here would get sick.” Pinkie gasped. “Even me!”

“Nah, ain't none of that.”


“Just feeling a bit homesick is all. Ah had to visit a couple places before coming here. This is actually mah last stop before going back home.”

“Oh, is that it? Hmm... I got it. I'll do something to remind you of Apploosa. Close your eyes.”

“Heh, alright.” Braeburn closed his eyes. “Let me know when ah can open them again.”

“Oh, you can open them now.”

Braeburn slowly opened his eyes to the sight of Pinkie dressed up in a purple saloon girl outfit, complete with a feather sticking out of her mane. “H-how... how did ya change that quickly?”

“Details details, that isn't important. What matters is cheering you up and I got just the song to do it.”

“...oh no.”

Pinkie starting dancing, kicking out a front leg and a back then and alternating back and forth. “It's a bright sunny day and you gotta share, you gotta care!” She continued on the same song she sang way back when in Apploosa.

“Well, 'least there ain't no buffalo to go stampeding this time,” said Braeburn, adding in a chuckle.

“Hmph!” Pinkie stopped and crossed his forelegs, looking indignant. “It's a good song! Guess I'm just too avant-garde for you ponies.”

“What in the hay is avant-garde?”

“I don't know actually. I heard Rarity once say it's an excuse artists give for when others don't like their work.”

“Ah can't fairly judge the song, seeing as it almost destroyed my town, but ah can compliment yah on one thing.”

“What's that?”

“You look really pretty in that dress.”

Pinkie's eyes grew large as she sat in silence, easily the longest amount of time Braeburn could remember her being quiet, or still for that matter. She turned away from him and rubbed her front hooves together. He waited for a moment, questioning why the normally very talkative mare was being so quiet. “You really think I'm pretty?” she asked, her voice much softer than before.

“Well, 'course ah do. If ah didn't, ah wouldn't have said so.”

“W-wow... you're the first stallion to say that.”

“Are ya serious? No other stallion has called ya pretty before?”

Pinkie shook her head. “It's usually, 'Pinkie, you look silly.' 'Pinkie, you look like a closet just exploded.' Or, 'Pinkie, you can't throw a house warming party inside of a birdhouse.'”

“Then the stallions around here are just plum crazy, 'cause you're one of the prettiest mares in town.” Braeburn put his right foreleg around her and gave her a little squeeze before nuzzling her neck. “Also, ya did make me feel better. Thank you very much, Pinkie.”

Braeburn’s attention was pulled away from Pinkie when he heard Applejack yell out, “What in tarnation are ya doing?! Get off that thing right this instant!” Off by the picnic area, closer to the orchard was Granny Smith riding a mechanical bull surrounded by Apple ponies cheering her own, all except for Applejack and Big Mac.

“It's called having fun! Ya should try it sometime!” yelled back Granny Smith before letting out a loud, “Yeehaw!”

Braeburn laughed out loud at the sight, until he felt a pair of soft lips press against his cheek. Bright red spread across his face, starting from the kissed cheek. “P-Pinkie?”

“...thanks.” Pinkie leaned against him, resting her head against his neck.

“Ah was only telling the truth.”


Shining Armor sat on the library's floor snuggled against his little sister. The two were reading through a book, the newest story in a vampony fantasy series. They had just gotten to the part where the eternally young princess was revealed to be a lich who had been using the sun itself as her phylactery. As Shining Armor waited for Twilight to finish the page he peered up over to the book's rim to check on Cadance, who had been pacing back and forth for the last hour or so. “Cadance, dear, please sit down.”

“Pinkie should have been done with the date by now. Maybe I should just-”

“No. No spying.”

“I wasn't going to spy.”

“No asking others to spy for you either.”

“...hmph!” Cadance stuck her nose up as she finally sat down. “I just want to see if she's actually having a good time. No pony should stay on a date when they aren't.”

“Yeah, why would a pony stay if they aren't having a good time,” said a new voice. They all turned to the library's entrance to see Pinkie standing there. “Hi!” She waved.

“Oh, hey Pinkie,” replied Twilight, and then she tapped on Shining's shoulder. “Turn the page.”

“Oh, right.” He did so.

Cadance rushed up to her. “How'd it go? Did you enjoy it?”

“Of course I enjoyed it! It's always fun to hang out with a friend,” Pinkie responded.

“Wait, just a friend?” asked Cadance, arching up one of her eyebrows.

Pinkie nodded. “Yeah. Oh, maybe Twilight can be my date next! Or, or, maybe Shining Armor. He seems like he'd be really fun to hang out with.”

“W-what? No! I-It wasn't supposed to be a 'friend' date. Why would you think that?”

“Ooooh, you meant THAT kind of a date? Like, a date date?” Pinkie tilted her head. “You should have said so before.”

“Of course I meant... aaagh!” Cadance groaned and hung her head.

“Cadance?” said Twilight without bothering to look up from the book.

“...yes, Twilight?”

“I should mention that Pinkie is a notorious prankster who usually is smarter than she lets on.”

The color faded from Cadance's face. “Y-you're kidding right?”

“She's not but I was.” Pinkie covered her giggling muzzle with a hoof. “Oh man, I can't believe you really thought I didn't think it was a real date. Hahaha.”

“Ugh... why did I fall for that?”

“Twily, don't go past this page.” After getting a nod from her, Shining walked up to Cadance and pulled her close. “Cadance, you need to loosen up. Remember, it's not the end of the world if a date didn't go well for them.”

“You're right... sorry. I just want every pony to have their own special somepony.” She nuzzled against him.

“And I just might have one now,” said Pinkie.

“Really?” asked all three – even Twilight finally expressed shock.

Pinkie nodded. “I'll be visiting Braeburn in Apploosa next weekend.”

Cadance wrapped her forelegs and wings around Pinkie, hugging her tightly. “Oh, how wonderful! I'm so happy for you!”

“Too tight! Too tight!”


“It is great news, Pinkie,” said Twilight. “If you weren't actually related to the Apple family before, you might end up being part of their family now.”

“Oh my gosh, I didn't even think of that!” exclaimed Pinkie as she started to vibrate. “That is so cool! Applejack and me will be close family! Oh oh, what about you?” Pinkie pointed to Twilight.

“What about me?”

“If I marry Braeburn and you marry Big Mac, we'll be family! I'll be related to a princess!” Cadance giggled and Twilight turned red.


“Just call me, the pink party princess.”


“And my castle will be a giant bouncy castle.”


“Yes, Twilight?”

“Let's not rush things, ok? You don't want to scare off Braeburn by mentioning marriage when you go visit him, and I'm not sure Big Mac and I are ready to discuss it yet either.”

“Oh, heh heh. I got a bit carried away, didn't I?”

“Yes, but that's alright. You should go tell the Cakes how it went.”

“Great idea, Twilight!” In the blink of an eye she was gone.

“See?” asked Cadance.

“Just because it went well for her doesn't mean it will for everypony. Don't count your chickens before they hatch,” responded Shining Armor.

“Well, Cadance does have the lead now. Who will you guys talk to next?” asked Twilight.

They turned to the window just in time to see a rainbow streak flying through the sky.