Dan Vs. Equestria

by TreSiv

Chapter Six: King of the Humans

The bright yellow sun was still bright over the treehouse library as Twilight droned on the many random and obscure questions. Twilight had seated Dan in a rather uncomfortable wooden chair as she trotted back and forth as Dan answered her questions one by one. So far they had covered pretty much everything, and Dan was even going to be able to have lodgings in the Library. As Twilight cavorted back and forth, Dan had time to think. This was a whole new world. He could be anything he wanted. And of course, he had a plan. He spent all day explaining to a very confused Twilight about how he was king of the humans. Dan stood up.

"I dare say, you might even replace Chris."

"I still don't understand half the things you've said. And who is Chris?"

Dan raised his hands in anger and balled them into fists. "A selfish BASTARD that cares more about ice cream than his best friend! I'm going to burn him alive whenever I get home!" Twilight flinched as he yelled.

Dan walked towards the door. "Speaking of cooking, is there a Burgerphile nearby? I'm getting hungry." He got to the door. Twilight was still frozen on the spot trying to comprehend what was happening.

"Come along new Chris, you might as well show me around if I'm going to be stuck here for a while."

Twilight turned around and walked silently to Dan as he began out into the town. It was still a wonderful day outside. The sun was still as bright as before, and the birds were singing. As they kicked up dirt on the path into town, Twilight found her voice.

"Um, Dan, there are no Burgerphiles in Equestria."

Dan stopped mid step and turned around. He fell to the ground in front of Twilight, wide eyed.

"What do you mean there's no Burgerphile?"

"I don't even know what that is!"

Dan got into a fetal position, and put his hands in his hair. Twilight smiled, regaining her confidence a little. She lifted Dan onto her back and trotted to Sugarcube Corner.

"But I think I know somewhere you might like. Everyone loves treats."

They got to the wooden and colorful front doors of the bakery. Delicious smells wafted out from within. Dan got off Twilights back and pushed open the door. He walked inside with Twilight next to him as the pony behind the counter came out to greet her friend.

"Hi Pink-"

"YOU!" Dan shook with rage and made his hands fists again.

"Hi Dan."

Twilight got confused again. "Wait, you know each other?"

Dan ran and lunged at Pinkie Pie, but Twilight caught him with her magic as he dived at her.

Pinkie didn't even flinch. "Of course! He's a bit of a grumpy grumps, though."

Dan was frothing at the mouth with anger like a ravenous dog. "YOU BEDAZZLED MY CAR! I'LL END YOU!"

Twilight frowned. "That's putting it mildly."

At that moment, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy came into the sweetshop. Twilight put Dan down and he sprinted behind to glass counter.

"Hi girls!"

"They're outnumbering us! My worst nightmares are coming true!" Dan yelled as he ran behind the counter. He peeked out from behind it. "Quickly New Chris! Smother them before they attack!"

Rainbow Dash made an are-you-kidding face. "Should we even bother asking?"

Twilight shook her head. "I don't even know myself. Maybe I should go see if Princess Celestia knows anything."

Dan looked over the counter again, angrily. "Traitor! I considered you my new best friend! You're a monster!"

Twilight sighed. "Let's go Dan, I have a trip to plan."

"Hey! YOU don't give the orders, I do!"

"Let's go!"

Dan frowned and got out from behind the counter and left, but not before giving all the other ponies a death stare.
Dan and Twilight continued to walk back to the treehouse library in the warm sunny afternoon. The sun was going down now, and ponies were once again closing up shop and saying their goodbyes. Twilight kept beside Dan.

"Don't worry, Dan. I assure you that Princess Celestia is one of the nicest ponies you'll ever meet."

"So what you're saying is that I could easily overthrow her?"

Twilight got a worried look. "I.. that's not what I said at all!"

Dan smiled mischievously, trying to work up a plan. "Sure sounded like it to me."

Twilight huffed. Whatever was going to happen, it was going to be a bumpy road. At Least they were at the Library now.
They went inside, and Twilight lit a lamp, as it was dark now.

"Follow me to your bed. It's up the stairs here."

Dan followed Twilight to the top, and she led him to the other side of the room, opposite of her bed. There was a pink bed, neatly made just the way Twilight liked it.

"And this is your bed!" She smiled happily up at Dan.

Dan frowned. "It's pink."

Twilight frowned too. There was no pleasing Dan. "We'll change it tomorrow."

"Why do you hate me?"

"Please Dan, I'm tired"

Dan fell forward onto the bed face first, and landed with a soft pomf on the blanket and pillow and closed his eyes. "Fine," he mumbled, "But if you don't wake up tomorrow, you only have yourself to blame."

Twilight smiled a little bit and walked back to her bed. "Okay Dan. And if you need anything, there's water and snacks downsta-" She had turned to look back, and wished she hadn't. The covers on the bed were all mangled around Dan who was now asleep, the pillows had stains on them as well as most of that side of the second floor, the curtains were ripped, and trash was everywhere while a few small fires flickered in the darkness on top of the trash piles. Twilight was horrified to say the least, but didn't say anything because she didn't want to wake Dan. Twilight shook her head, mane flopping a little. She went and tucked herself into bed and drifted off into dreamland.

Author's Note:

So this is the part in the story, after Sugarcube Corner, that I differ from the tumblr comic, and head off in my own direction in order to make this whole story have a beggining, middle, and end. So, if you've been reading the tumblr, that won't happen come into play after these next two chapters, maybe even three. Happy reading!

Comments

[ValenceWubs]

Nice work, I award you with a happy Twilight,

[theFlancy Mernin]

?