• Published 17th Dec 2013
  • 2,679 Views, 43 Comments

Dan Vs. Equestria - TreSiv



When Dan is sent to Equestria by Elise as a research trip, he wants nothing more than to get back to Earth to get his revenge. But trouble soon arises when the Elements of Harmony are stolen, and are his only way home.

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Chapter Five: Angry Arrival

The rest of the night was uneventful. Owlicious swooped in every so often from hunting, bringing bits of mice along. Twilight had stayed up a bit wondering what Trixie was up to. It couldn’t be anything good, but maybe she was wrong. Perhaps Trixie really did have an appointment or something else she had to do. It wasn’t until late that Twilight went to sleep. She had an appointment herself tomorrow. She was to help Applejack down at the farm with fixing up a barn that Rainbow had accidentally flown into.

Early the next morning, Twilight arose to another sunny, perfect day. Spike was still asleep, and Twilight decided to leave him be. She got up and made some breakfast, and did all the other things she did normally to get ready to do for the day. She put her saddle bags on and closed the door quietly, as to not wake Spike up. Twilight looked out at the town. Another sunny day, and a nice warm breeze to boot. She walked off in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.

And almost as if on cue when Twilight was out of sight of the tree house library, a large, round, purple swirling mass erupted out of thin air. It stayed for a few moments, spinning normally, until a low yell was starting to issue out of it. It got louder and louder, until finally, the figure of a short man came into view. None of the residents of Ponyville would come to notice this event, but even if they had, there was no way of stopping it. After a few moments, the portal gave a quiet roar, spit out the man flat on his face, where he got a mouthful of dirt because his mouth was wide open from the yelling, and immediately disappeared with a quiet pop.

The figure lay quietly on the ground, dazed. Finally, it moved and lifted itself up from the dirt, sputtering, trying to get the dirt out of his mouth. It was Dan, of course, but nobody around would know this, at least not yet. He dusted his already dirty clothes off, and looked around angrily, trying to find something to yell at, but all he found was an unnaturally large tree. He decided to get mad anyway, and started talking to himself.

"I don't know where I am, but when I get back home I'm going to deep-fry Elise and feed her to the werewolf down the street. What kind of jerk kicks a person into a portal?"

Dan started to pace back in forth at this point. A quarter mile away, Twilight Sparkle was headed back to her house, because she had forgotten something. Dan didn't notice.

"And then she has the nerve to make me document everything and answer questions. Oh, and Chris just sat there eating, of course. Some friend he is. I hope Mr. Mumbles is ripping them both apart."

He turned around and saw a strange purple unicorn pony with a tattoo on it's flank smiling up at him.

"Dan log one. there are no words to properly express how much I hate everything."

Dan then promptly turned around and walked off in the opposite direction. Twilight frowned. Who was this thing? She straightened up a little and trotted after him.

"Well, you could at least tell me who you are!" She said as she trotted faster to keep up with Dan, who had been ever-so-steadily increasing his pace.

"No, shut up."Dan stated flatly.

"You know that's kind of rude." Twilight said a little crossly.

"Don't care, shut up."

"Do you even know where you're going?"

"Don't know, shut up." Dan was beginning to lose his patience. Well, at least what was left of it.

"Please, will you talk to me? Say something other than shut up!"

Dan's face contorted with annoyance. He spun around to look at Twilight. "You dense, irritating, little horse! Go AWAY! And SHUT UP!!!"

Twilight sat down. "Not until you tell me what you are, who you are, and why you're here."

"I have an idea, how about I don't and say that I did! That works for me, ok bye." Dan headed off again.

"I'm not leaving you alone until you do."

Dan stopped. He took a deep breath. "Fine then. You want to play that game? Fine. I'll answer your most likely stupid questions, that will do nothing but waste my time."

Twilight smiled. "Good. We should go back to my house. Then I can document everything, and send a letter to Princess Celestia!"

"Princess who?"

"I'll tell you everything once we get back to the library." And with that, they both made their way back to the library, Applejack completely forgotten.