Dan Vs. Equestria

by TreSiv

Chapter Seven: Princess Ultimatum

The starry, dark sky soon began to fade to light as the sun rose over the mountain that held Canterlot, which was precisely where Twilight had planned to take Dan that day. If there was anyone who could figure out what to do with Dan, it was Celestia and Luna. Light began to peek between the wooden shades of the treehouse library. Twilight awoke, looking around. She had the strangest dream. Some thing called Dan had come to Equestria and caused a scene at Sugarcube Corner. He had also been quite rude. She slid out of bed and wobbled for a bit, still groggy. She took a few steps forward, then immediatly slipped on a pile of burnt trash laying about on the floor.

"WAAAA!!" Twilight cried as she fell off the ledge onto the hard wood floor of the library, causing a loud crash as a few books fell on her.

She heard something grumble above her on the ledge, which quickly turned into a yell.

"CAN'T YOU STAY QUIET FOR FIVE MINUTES?!?! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP! So inconsiderate!" The figure who just relayed this loud information onto Twilight kicked some more trash onto Twilight's head as she struggled to get out of the stack of books. She frowned as she wiped herself off. So it hadn't been a dream. Twilight looked up towards the ledge.

"No point in going back to sleep now. We've got places to be and ponies to see!" She called out.

"You do. I'm not going anywhere. I'm sleeping in."

"Dan, this is important, if you want to find a way back home, you best get ready."

Dan stumbled around and got to the stairs. He looked out onto the library floor, which was now covered in books and Dan's undescribable trash.

"You should really clean this place up. Don't you know it's not safe to live in a dirty enviroment? Those books are clearly a fire hazard."

Twilight gritted her teeth. "I know Dan, I have books on it."

"It looks like you also have some books on you."

Twilight frowned again, shook the rest of the books off her and looked around for Spike.

"Spike! Spike where are you?"

A very sleepy Spike sat up in his bed and rubbed his eyes. "Wha? What is it?"

"I'm taking this one," She jerked her head towards Dan, "To see the princesses. I need this cleaned up before I get back. I would make Dan do it, but unfortuantly, I have to take him with me."

Dan just crossed his arms angrily, rolled his eyes, shook his head, and looked the other way. Twilight grabbed her saddle bags off her desk, which was littered with quills, ink and paper.

Spike layed back into his bed and mumbled "Yeah, I'll do." as he went back to sleep.

Twilight opened the door. "Let's go, Dan."

Dan frowned and left the room, out into the warm, sunny morning. The grass was still dewey, and the birds were just beginning to awaken to start their morning song. Twilight began another trot into Ponyville.

"Just follow me and don't do anything to attract attention, or yell at anything. I'm going to hail a cab."

Dan said nothing. He still had his arms crossed and he stared straight ahead as they stood at the taxi stop just outside Ponyville. Even in the early morning, the taxis still ran. After a few minutes, a speck in the sky appeared, and became larger with every passing moment. As it got closer, a brown stallion pegasus pulling a wooden, yellow cart with a black band around it and "Taxi" written in white text on it could be seen more clearly. There were already two passengers inside, a mare and her filly.

The pegasus turned around and said, "Ponyville."

The mare and filly got out of the cart. The mare tried to walk past Dan without noticing, but her daugther stared at Dan. "Mommy, what's that?"

"I don't know dear. C'mon, we have to go." She pulled her daughter away as Dan gave a death stare.

Twilight climbed into the carriage. "Dan, pay attention."

Dan shot Twilight a big frown as he sat down in the yellow cart. "Don't tell me what to pay."

Twilight rolled her eyes and leaned up to the brown pegasus pulling the carriage. "Canterlot, please."

"Five bits." Twilight tipped some bits into the pagasus' saddle bags and he began to run.

The wind began to pick up as the stallion ran faster and faster. He lifted his large wings, and began flapping them, causing loud swooshing sounds as the pegasus began to lift off the ground. The cart began to creak and rock as the fast spinning wheels lifted off the ground. The brown stallion took off into the sky and quickly they were just below cloud level. Dan looked over the edge and back in front of him as he sat across from Twilight. Twilight had closed her eyes and faced towards the wind, her mane flying behind her. Dan scooted forward and leaned back. As he looked onto the horizon, he could tell this was going to be a long trip.

The trip passed by uneventfully. It was midday now, and Canterlot was fully in view. Twilight had gotten her things together and was ready to get off at the stop. Dan had sat up too.

"Canterlot stop approaching." Said the pegasus as he decended and slowed down. He hit the ground and the carriage jolted forward as the stallion slowed down the cart in time to stop at the Taxi sign.

He turned his head. "Canterlot."

Twilight hopped down from the cart and Dan followed.

"Wow." He said in surprise as the next passengers got in, all of which were staring at him, "That actually felt really good." He slumped his shoulders and frowned. "It was awful."

"Can't you find one nice thing to say about this place?" Twilight commented as the proceeded into the marketplace in front of the palace.

Dan looked up in mock thought. "Hmmmmm. Nope. Can't recall anything."

Twilight rolled her eyes for the hundredth time since Dan had arrived. They strolled through the gate. "Look, just try not to disrupt anything."

On both sides of the main road that led up to the castle, stallls and shops were bustling with activity in the afternoon sun. Ponies of all sizes, races, and colors zoomed in and out of the shops and stalls, buying wares, getting services, and window shopping. With all the hubbub, nobody seemed to notice as Dan and Twilight walked up the cobblestone path towards the castle. Side roads that led off the path had ponies trotting in them for even more shops and stalls. Deals and haggles could be heard as both Dan and Twilight reached the castle gate. It was tall and gold, connected on both sides by a tall white brick wall that stretched all the way around the castle grounds. They stopped in front of it, and it opened up to a brick path that lead up to the castle entrance.

All around the path were stone statues and hedges, along with large round flowerbeds and other various garden plants. A few gardeners were out tending to the plants, raking leaves and trimming bushes. Dan walked faster to keep up with Twilight as she was walking at a brisk pace towards the entrance. Just as Twilight and Dan were about to walk in the threshold of the castle, a large iron gate slammed down in front of them.

"Whoa!" said Twilight as she lept back.

Dan stepped back too. "What the hell?"

Two armor-clad gaurds with spears rushed out to see them.

Twilight regained her composure. "I'm here to see the princesses."

"We can't let him through. He'll have to stay with us for the princesses protection." Said one of the gaurds.

"He's fine really, he's the reason I'm here."

The other gaurd shook his head. "We must hold him untill called upon by the princesses."

Dan looked expectantly at Twilight. "Well?"

"Dan, go with them, I'll try to get you as soon as I can."

"What?!? I don't have time for this, I want to go home." He walked forward towards the gate, but the stallion gaurds pointed their spears at him.

"Don't go any further." Said one gaurd sternly.

Dan frowned. "Whatever. Fine, I'll play this stupid game."

"This way, sir." One of the gaurds trotted to the left as Dan followed, frowning again.

The first gaurd nodded to Twilight. "This way, miss. " He led Twilight into the castle as the gate lifted and both Twilight and Dan went their seperate ways. As Twilight disappeared into the main castle. Dan was lead to a room full of gaurds-in-training. All about, new recriuts were learning the ropes of the castle interrior and combat. A few unicorns were learning magic that would be used for defense. Dan shook his head.

"This is the damnedest thing I've ever seen."

The gaurd that led him spoke up. "Go take a seat over there. You'll be called for in a moment."

Dan frowned angrily as he walked over near the doorway to the outside, where there was an exceptionally nervous unicorn was trying to learn a levitation spell. Next to him was a white unicorn wearing purple armor lined with gold trim.

"I'm sorry, Shining, sir, I just can't get it."

"No, no, no, you can. We recruited you and we only accept the best. Try again on that." The unicorn, presumably named Shining, pointed towards a barrel.

Dan rolled his eyes as the unicorn shot the spell from his horn, making the barrel lift feebly for a few moments, then fall over. Dan scoffed. Shining frowned.

"What are you?"

"That's not very nice. You can't just ask people what they are. Didn't your mother teach you any manners? I happen to be King Dan, ruler of the humans."

"You know for some reason, I don't believe that."

"You best be believing it, peasant."

"I don't have time for this." Shining turned back to the recruit. "Now, I really want you to concentrate, put all your effort into making the barrel fly."

The unicorn closed his eyes, lowered his head and spread his legs for better support. His horn began to light up, and the glow began to get brighter and brighter, sparks were flying from his horn, and thats when Dan yelled.

"Don't mess up!"

The unicorn shot up, looked at where the sound came from, and lost his concentration. The spell hit Dan full in the chest, and he began to float upwards. All the other recruits and gaurds looked up at him as Dan realized this was his escape. He started swimming in the air, over the two gaurds that stood at the entrance of the doorway.

"See ya losers! Dan always gets away!"

Unfortunatly, the spell began to wear off, and Dan fell.

"Oh."

Everyone snapped out of their awe and Shining took action. He called out to the two gaurds standing in the open archway.

"You two, get him!"

Dan jumped up and ran into the castle where Twilight had gone as three gaurds and Shining chased him, shooting spell after spell at him. Dan jumped, ducked, and dodged as he ran as fast he could down the hallways of the castle. A green spell narrowly missed him and shattered a vase that was standing on a pedestal in a corner. Dan slid around the corner and saw a door on the right side. He entered the room an closed the doors just as the gaurds had rounded the corner after him, but Shining heard the door shut. He motioned for his fellow gaurds to follow him as he barged into the room.

"Shining Armor?"

Shining looked left and saw that there were already others in the room. Twilight and princesses Celestia and Luna were having some tea near the throne.

Twilight was the one who had said his name. "B.B.B.F.F., what are you doing here?"

Shining bowed because of the princesses. "I saw an intruder enter the room."

Celestia smiled. "Are you sure? I didn't see anyone. Did you, my sister?"

Luna shook her head. "No, my dear sister. What of you, Twilight?"

"Oh, uh, no, nobody came in here, except for you, Shining."

Shining lowered his head and backed out the room, and the other two gaurds followed suit. "My mistake princesses, I thought I did see someone come in here. Good day."

He backed completely out the room as the door slammed shut on him. Dan stood there with his hand on it, as he had been behind the door the whole time. Celestia began.

"So, Dan, or King Dan, Twilight here tells me you are the ruler of , what was it, my student?"

"The humans. King of the humans."

"Ahh, yes." Celestia sipped on her tea, held aloft be magic. "It's always nice to meet royalty."

Luna finished her tea. "What is it called, the place you're from?"

"Dantopia."

"Funny, Twilight told us you said it was called Earth."

"Yeah? Well, she lied."

Twilight got mad. "No I didn't! You told me many times it was called Earth!"

Dan looked at Twilight as he stood next to her, in front of the princesses. "Neat. Can we get to the real reason we're here? You know so I can go home?"

Celestia was still smiling. "Ah yes. You want to return home. Fortunately, there is a way to send you back to where you came from."

Twilight and Dan spoke at once. "There is?!"

Celestia nodded. "There is. The Elements of Harmony."

Twilight looked confused. "I didn't know they can open portals to other worlds."

It was Luna's time to talk. "There are a lot of things you don't know about the Elements."

Celestia nodded again. "However, I'm not going to send you home."

Dan got close to Celestia's face. "WHAT! HOW DARE YOU DENY ME A WAY HOME!! WHAT KIND OF CRUEL, UNJUST LEADER ARE YOU?!?!?!!"

Celestia didn't even blink. She just calmly sipped her tea and continued to smile. Twilight was wild eyed as Dan backed off.

"Dan! You can't yell at the princess like that! Y-"

Celestia waved a hoof at Twilight. "It's alright. I knew he would react this way. What I should say is, I will send you home, but not yet. I've heard stories about you from Twilight."

Dan cut her off. "And what? You believed her?"

Celestia got stern. "Yes. Yes I did. She has no reason to lie to me. My deal with you is this. You do something really nice for someone, and I'll send you home."

"No."

"Well, then it looks like we have a problem."

"You're the one with the problem. I want home, and for some reason you won't let me leave."

"I'm not going to negotiate this one, Dan. This is my final offer."

Dan narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips."Whatever."

"Good. Now, I excpect a letter from Twilight when you've completed your task."

Twilight nodded. "Yes, princess."

"And Dan, to the best of luck with you."

Dan and Twilight left the castle, but not before Dan got an eyeful of Shining Armor's scowl as he sat gaurd at the entrance.

"Bye Shining!" Chirped Twilight happily as she and Dan passed by him.

"Bye Twily." Shining said still scowling at Dan.

It was after midday now, and the streets were still busy, and some shops would still be busy untill midnight. Twilight hailed a taxi at the taxi stop they had gotten off at earlier. They took off as the sun was setting, and arrived back at the treehouse library, which was now clean thanks to Spike.

"Well, Dan, you've got a busy day ahead of you tomorrow. You need to get some rest."

Dan frowned. "Don't tell me what to get."

Twilight crawled into her bed. "Just go to sleep, Dan."

Dan fell back onto his bed. "Mph."

Twilight magiced the lantern in the room to go out, and they both fell asleep.

Author's Note:

OK, so this is the first chapter that was my completely original idea.The next chapter will be, too. Tell me what you thought!

Comments

[Kage no Brony]

Dan?

Doing something nice?

Man, Celestia. You realize his localized hate is going to cause the Windigoes to freeze Equestria over before he completes that task?

I didn't think you hated your subjects that much...

[TreSiv]

3868430 Trust me, this is only just the tip of the beginning of the iceberg.

[Kage no Brony]

3868443

Hah, hah, hah...

I see what you did there.

Windigoes freezing Equestria over -> iceburgs...

[INACTIVE_ACCOUNT]

I don't think Dan is even ABLE to do something nice.

[JackMonarch]

Dan doing something NICE? That's like asking the Hulk to go 20 seconds without being angry.