Dan Vs. Equestria

by TreSiv

Chapter One: Highway To Hell

The sun beat down intensely on the desert road near Area 51. For most of the time, nothing could be seen for miles around, not a living thing, nor any inanimate thing, save maybe a few cacti. However, on this particular day, off in the distance a red convertible could be seen kicking up dirt as it sped 11 miles over the posted, sand covered, sun bleached speed limit signs. There were two men in this car. The one driving was a tall, semi- pudgy man with a blue shirt, with an orange over shirt and jeans. His name was Chris. The other, a short, thin man with messy black hair, pale white skin, a black shirt with the word "Jerk" written on it in white letters, and a bad attitude toward just about everything. His name was Dan.

There was very little that didn't send Dan into a rage, one of the exceptions being his cat, strangely name Mr. Mumbles, because Mr. Mumbles was, in fact, female. But all in all, Dan was always angry about something, whether it was baseball, family Thanksgiving, or even at one point, the entire country of Canada. On this particular day, it was the fact that he would be spending the day working for Elise (Chris's wife), the person Dan either REALLY hated at times or was partial towards her other times, although these moments never lasted long. The reason he had to work for Elise was because Dan had once again tried to get revenge in one of his fits of rage against the state of Arizona. After he was caught trying to nuke the state out of existence, the judge that he was sent to told him he was going to spend the rest of his life behind bars, because his list of offences were too many to name off, most of them being extremely illegal and outright malicious in nature. He had been deemed a threat to society. It was at this point that Elise, who worked as a secret agent for the military, used her great, many contacts with higher ups to get him off scott free, but under the condition that he would have to be used as a lab rat of sorts in a rather super top secret experiment that had been in the works for a while.

Needless to say, the thought of having to work for Elise of all people was certainly something Dan would not abide by. On top of all this, in his eyes, Dan had done nothing wrong. Arizona simply had what was coming for it; it deserved what he had planned for it, which was total annihilation of the whole state. Dan sighed angrily as he did most days and looked out the open window (the car's top was folded back) while he propped his feet on the dashboard. Given the choice, Dan would have taken jail, because he could at least try to break out. With Elise, he wouldn't be able to fool anyone. Chris looked over at him.

"I'd really appreciate it if you would put your feet down. This car is brand new."

Dan didn't say anything. He just continued to look out the side of the car at the desert with the same aggravated expression he'd had since he found out he had to work for Elise.

"Did you hear me, Dan? I said put your feet down. Don't make me turn this car around!"

Dan turned to look at Chris, making his expression a calm one, "That would be great, actually."

Chris turned his attention back to the road and said, "This is your own fault that you have to do this. There's no reason to be all mad about it."

Dan had once again looked out over his side of the car to the desert, but still spoke up.

"I don't understand why YOU didn't get in trouble, you were right there with me! And working for Elise is just degrading. I would have preferred to take my life sentence. At least in jail there are others who would understand my pain."

Chris had about enough of Dan's attitude toward the whole situation.

"For your information, the reason I didn't get in trouble was because you had handcuffed me to the door of the launch room when I tried to stop you. Second, it was more than just one life sentence, try 17, so you were pretty dang lucky Elise decided to set you free. All you have to do is this one, small experiment, and you will be cleared of all charges. And will you PLEASE put your feet DOWN!"

Dan jumped up at Chris, "Don't you yell at ME!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?!"

Dan lunged at Chris, and grabbed his shirt. In surprise, Chris let go of the steering wheel. As Chris was grappling with Dan to push him away, the car swerved off the sandy, sun-baked road and into the open desert. Even more sand was being kicked up than ever before, causing a large cloud that enveloped the car as it sped out of control farther from the road. In the confusion of the mini sandstorm, Dan and Chris let go of each other. Both of them realized what was happening and yelled as Chris grabbed hold onto the steering wheel to get some control over the car. He was able to dodge a sign that they, if there wasn't a big panic, would have been able to read that it stated:

Area 51 1/4 mile

Trespassers will be shot on sight.

Continue at your OWN RISK.

It wouldn't have made a difference if they had somebody ready to shoot them or not, there was so much sand flying everywhere and the car was moving so fast that it would be impossible for anyone to be able even aim at them, let alone actually hit them.

The car continued to careen through a few cacti and bushes as it was moving closer and closer to the chain link fence of the secret military base. Looking through the dense sand wall, Chris could make out the fence, glinting in the desert sun. Apparently Dan had seen this to, because he yelled out,

"WATCH OUT FOR THAT FENCE!! HIT THE BREAKS!!"

Chris slammed the brake pedal as hard as he had ever in his life, but it was no use. The wheels stopped moving, but due to the high velocity at which the convertible was moving, it made no difference. The car ripped right through the fence as though it weren't even there, and left a large trail of sand behind it as it drove across the blacktop of Area 51. At this point, the wheels gained some friction, but it wasn't fast enough still. Almost at top speed, the sand covered car came to an abrupt halt against the large brick wall of one of the buildings.

Dan and Chris had arrived.

Comments

[Frission]

one of them being his cat,

Reduce confusion by changing this to "one of the exceptions being his cat."