Chapter 1: Grey
Perception
~~~
“Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker?”
~~~
Chapter 1: Grey
Grey.
The world around me was a dull grey. Monochrome, colourless, whatever you want to call it. That was my life. On all sides, the featureless walls of my prison surrounded me. Well, prison being the warehouse where I worked. In this case, though, ‘worked’ was a very loose term. I wasn’t sure what they kept here, but whatever it was, nobody was really interested in it. Most days, all I did was sit back and toss my ball at the wall.
That, incidentally, was what I was doing right now. I shifted slightly—repositioning my wings to get more comfortable—and adjusted the worn brown scarf that hung around my neck. I smacked the small red ball with my hoof, watching as it bounced off the floor, into the wall opposite me and back.
With practiced ease, I batted it again. This was my life; wake up, eat, get dressed, head to the warehouse, do nothing for eight hours, go home, eat, sleep. That was what it had been for over a year and—by the looks of it—what it always would be.
I knew there wasn’t much of a point anymore. I was trapped. I’d missed my chance, now that the cutie mark which I had strived so hard to obtain was just that. A mark, nothing more, nothing less. There was no grand destiny waiting for me, no beautiful future where I would fly into the sunset, a blazing trail of stardust behind me. No, I’d lost my chance at that.
A clatter shook me out of my thoughts. I looked to my left to see what had fallen, but before I could find it, something hit the right side of my face. My head whipped around to find the attacker, only to see my ball, bouncing lightly on the floor. Shaking my head, I turned back towards the source of the sound. My rifle had fallen from its spot, propped up next to my crate.
Back when I had first received this job, when it seemed more like a blessing than a condemnation, I had claimed this section of the warehouse as mine to watch over. A single, large, blue crate had become my centre of operations. Now, all it represented was a place to sit down and reflect.
What’s become of me? I thought miserably, glancing out of one of the boarded-up windows into the wet streets of Las Pegasus. The weather seemed to reflect my mood: dreary and depressing. Before my train of thought could lead me to darker places, a gruff voice called out to me, from somewhere behind my rows of crates.
“Hey Scootaloo? Where’re ya?” I shook my head again, banishing those thoughts to a little closet in the back of my mind. Grasping the fallen rifle in my fetlocks, I righted myself, pausing to grab the fallen ball and shove it in a pocket with one of my wings. I quickly pulled myself into an attentive stance. Wouldn’t want the boss to see me slacking off now, would I? Despite how boring this place was, it was my only source of income.
A second later, Slate rounded the corner. Slate was a monster of an earth pony, standing at least a head taller than me. He wore a grey jacket which obscured his cutie mark. His fur was black and he had a messy brown mane. His eyes were hidden behind dark shades. Catching sight of me, he grinned. Celestia, how I hated that grin.
“Hey there, kid. How was the shift?” he asked, sidling up to me. If he wasn’t my boss, I would have decked him right then and there. Unfortunately for me, he was my boss, and I wanted to get paid. So instead of decking the fool, I satisfied myself with a glare in his direction.
The earth pony laughed. “You really need to lighten up. Anyway, your relief is here—you can head out now.” I nodded my thanks, before trotting off as fast as possible without making it obvious I was trying to escape. No matter how much he annoyed me, I wouldn’t let Slate win. As soon as I had made it a few rows away, I let out a content sigh, happy that he wasn’t following me.
I adjusted my scarf again, before continuing on my way out, passing rows upon rows of crates, along with the occasional member of security. I nodded my head in greeting towards them, but didn’t stop to talk. I never did: like me, these ponies didn’t want anypony prying into their lives, and I respected that. They just wanted to work, be paid and get on with their lives.
After about ten minutes of weaving my way through row upon row of cargo, I finally made my way to the entrance. The warehouse doorway was little more than a huge piece of metal, attached to various pulleys and chains that I had never bothered trying to understand. All I cared about was the fact that they opened the door to my freedom.
With a grin, I bucked the large iron lever and watched as the door slowly began to rise. Whenever the harsh gears grinded together, I remembered when I had first arrived at the warehouse. I had been terrified that the door might collapse on me at any moment. After over a year of working here, however, I had gotten used to it. The grinding was no more worrying than the swinging of the crane, or the creaking of the wood. It was all part of my day-to-day life.
I strolled out the now-open doorway, entering the bustling, wet streets of Las Pegasus. Ponies dashed about to and fro, off to whatever important thing they had to do during their day. The sky was beginning to get dark. I glanced upwards and was once again confronted with that overwhelming greyness.
Scowling, I began to trudge through the rain. What has become of me? I thought again. What is my purpose? It was on days like this that my mind started to throw these questions at me. I loathed it. The question turned over in my mind, prodding me, asking for an answer.
“Just buck off!” I yelled in frustration, kicking a nearby bin—its contents spilling out into the street. Why wouldn’t these stupid thoughts leave me alone? Why couldn’t I just go about my Celestia-damned life in peace?
“You okay, miss?”
“What’s it to you!?” I snapped at the source of the voice, a stallion, glaring daggers in his direction. Suddenly, I was very aware that every set of eyes around were on me. Not wanting to be there any longer, I turned around and walked off.
* * *
I was breathing heavily. I had ran straight home after my outburst, and was now leaning my head against the door of my apartment. I could feel anger welling up inside of me. I was such an idiot! That pony had just been trying to see if I was okay, and I had thrown his kindness right back in his face!
“What the buck, Scootaloo! What’s wrong with you!?” I shouted, angrily slamming my hoof against the door. I was just about to tear into the wooden portal before a thought crossed my mind:
What would Rainbow Dash think?
Immediately, I calmed down, the anger replaced by a cold void. If Rainbow were here, she’d tell me to chin up and not let it get to me. She’d tell me as long as I kept striving to do better, the small mistakes didn’t matter. She’d tell me I should never give up on anything. That I should always chase my horizons, not to prove anything to anyone, but just because they were there…
My eyes traced their way across my apartment’s living space, coming across a picture set on my dresser. I trotted over to it. The picture was of a cyan pegasus mare with a striking rainbow mane. She was posing, a charming yet stupid grin plastered on her face. Next to her was a small pegasus, an orange filly with a messy magenta mane. The filly was doing her best to mimic the rainbow one’s pose, but she was just slightly out of position.
I reached out to touch it, but pulled my hoof back before I could, fearing that I might disturb the moment. I closed my eyes, and turned away. I didn’t want to think about this right now. I was too tired. I slowly started walking to my bed, stopping to carefully take off my scarf and place next to a pair of flight goggles on a box nearby. However, before I could enter the warm confines of my bed, I noticed a brown envelope just in front of my door.
Huh, weird. I must’ve missed that when I came in. Shrugging, I picked it up in my teeth and took it over to my table. Now that I could properly see it, my eyes glossed over the envelope, coming to a stop when I saw where it had been sent from.
“Ponyville?” I exclaimed out loud, my voice cracking a little. I hadn’t talked to anyone from Ponyville in years, not since… well, it wasn’t important. What was important was that someone had managed to track me down, since I hadn’t told anyone where I was moving. I didn’t want them to know. Suddenly, I felt very guilty. I had abandoned all of my friends, for what? A life as a warehouse guard in some back-end of Las Pegasus?
Grimacing, I trotted over to my dresser again, looking for a knife to open the letter with. As I did so, my eyes caught sight of another picture: this one was of three young mares, all of them looking nearly sixteen. The orange pegasus from the previous picture was present, alongside a yellow earth pony with a red mane and a white unicorn with a swirly purple and pink mane. The earth pony wore an old stetson, and was grinning happily, whilst the white unicorn was draping herself over the pegasus, laughing brightly. The pegasus had a grin similar to the charming smile of the rainbow mare from the previous picture.
The image had been taken in happier times. What’s done is done I thought. No point crying over it now. Quickly locating the knife I had been looking for, I took it over to the desk and slit open the letter. With a flick of my wings, I had pulled out a sheet of parchment and was reading it through.
The letter was from Sweetie Belle, detailing how she was sorry that she hadn’t talked to me for so long. My guilt returned ten-fold. Just like Sweetie. Always thinking the best of other ponies. Taking the blame when it’s not even her fault. My eyes continued down the page, before stopping at the last couple of lines.
“No…” I whispered, my voice hoarse, as the knife fell from my grip. My legs felt weak, I couldn’t breathe. It was as if my fragile world had finally come crashing down. I was terrified; my heart felt constricted, like it was being cruelly twisted. “No, no no no!” I repeated the word like a mantra. This can’t be happening!
But it was. No matter how much I hated it, this was happening. Hay, it may have already happened.
Apple Bloom was dying.
* * *
Dear Scootaloo
I’m so sorry for not writing to you for such a long time. Things in Ponyville have been hectic, but especially now. It’s Apple Bloom. She’s... she’s dying Scoots. We need you here in Ponyville as soon as possible. Please come home, we miss you.
Love, Sweetie Belle.
* * *
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This looks good, unfortunately I can't read it right now, because I have slight OCD about reading incomplete stuff, but if you promise to work on it and complete it, then I promise to read it and tell you what I think.
I Pinkie Promise
Cross my Heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye
I absolutely love A Bluebird's Song so you get bonus points, and you get triple points in addition to all that for including ScootaBelle, one of my all time favorite Scootaloo parings.
3496496 Welp, well I promise to finish this within two months!
~DeepShift
You have my interest. This is very good.
Criticisms? I think you're laying on the mnerrgh-everything-sucks a bit too heavily at the start. You could probably get away with excising most of the "what has become of me?" introspection without losing much; the rest of the narrative gives that feeling by itself. Also, describing the ponies in the picture in such detail feels kind of awkward. Scootaloo knows who they are, so names should suffice.
But those are fairly minor issues. I'm interested in seeing where this goes, definitely.
3496557 Thanks very much for the feedback, the way see it, Slate warrants decription by simple virtue of being so Celestia damn big
But I think you're probably right with the laying it on slightly too heavy thing. Still, it was necessary form the later scene at Scoots' place.
~DeepShift
When I saw this in the new stories box, I freaked out and clicked on it right away. ITS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!
3497026 xD I'm glad you enjoyed it
~DeepShift
Great story, I don't know too much about romance, but I know a lot about sad stories, and you sir have captured my heart.
The only problem I really had was when you were explaining who was in the pictures, at Scootaloo's apartment. Scootaloo knows who they are, and it just seems kind of awkward.
Other than that this story is a A+ in my books. Keep it up.
I think I could do an image
3497212 I'm actually going to address some of the reasons for that later on, have no fear! There is actual reasoning behind wording things like that.
~DeepShift
3497286 Ooh! I'd really appreciate that, do you have any already posted work so I can see your style?
~DeepShift
3497516 dont'think so but I can change my profile pic
3497516>>3497516 no, but i will change my profile pic tomorrow with a pic i drew
3497665 Alrighty then, I'll figure out what image idea to dish out to you, then it's up to you
~DeepShift
3498091 I'm waiting.
There needs to be more Scootabelle.
Great story, so far. This can turn out to be a masterpiece, keep it up.
3498355 Thanks very much, I have High hopes for this story, it's proving to be pretty fun (If difficult) to write.
~DeepShift
The lack of indentations on any of your paragraphs was a little irritating, but that's the only complaint I have.
As far as first chapters go, this one was pretty great. Don't usually see Scootaloo as a failure, so it's pretty interesting there. Looking forward to seeing where this goes
Lol, it looks like you have gained your first and only dislike.
I mean really, I took a look at your other stories, this is you're first dislike?
And why on such a beautiful story like this?
Oh well, Good luck. Love the story.
3498091 Can I do one image?
Pwease?
3499604 Go ahead, I could use an image of one of Scoots' photos
3499166
The horrors! I'm gonna stop writing now!
(Maybe)
...
But on a serious note, thanks for the encouragement. I knew that this story was most likely going to be the first with a dislike, since it's so far out of my normal style. But I fully intend to realise it to it's fullest potential!
3498852 Welp, I've actually never used indentions when it comes to paragraphs. I don't really like how it reads.
~DeepShift
Okay, first: It's really annoying when you ask for comments. If your story is remarkable, someone will remark on it of their own accord. Don't ask, it does not become of you.
Second, this story was remarkable enough to me to be remarked upon. I like the theme of an older burn-out Scootaloo. The stresses of her daily life are very apparent and well represented, what with her having random outbursts in public as shown in the middle. The reminiscence of her past and her reluctance to touch old pictures speaks volumes about her life decisions and how much she truly regrets where she's found herself in life. The ending makes me want for more, and if I might suggest, use that note at the end as your coverart, it'll certainly help to attract more attention which this story duly deserves. What you've got on your hands is something bordering on the lines of masterpiece. When you get enough words, I'd recommend you submit to EQD as well, you've certainly got the technical skill to hack it.
Loathe me,
Your Antagonist
Damn, I don't think I can beat this.
I went into the contest before I read this, I don't think I have a chance.
Good luck.
3501341 Wow, thanks a lot. I kind of see what you mean with the don't ask thing, I'll see to it I remove that. I am honestly honoured that you think it could be that good, I have quite a few ideas for it (Still struggling a little with an ending idea) and am mainly just figuring out the ordering of it. Seriously though, thanks for the kind words.
~DeepShift
3501543 Of course you do! Remember, I've never written first person, romance, or sad before. There is a high chance I'll mess up along the way, or won't finish in time. Besides, it's not about winning, it's about creating an awesome story! If you have an idea, go for it!
~DeepShift
3501651 Thanks mate, I feel quite happy that you think I have a chance. But there are quite a few great authors in the contest. (EX: Darkshadow051)
I think I will try anyway.
3501658 I'll be certain to check out whatever you come up with
~DeepShift
3500817 Well, its always worth the try!
Will read later
*Sees a Sweetie Tag and a decent enough premise. Also recalls a certain thread about Scootaloo having a boring job.*
Well, looks like something I want to read.
Ah, this is quite good. I'm eager to see where it will go. The melancholy of the first chapter was short enough not to come off as droning, but was lengthy enough to set up the proper atmosphere for Scootaloo's mindset.. And the ending sets up the story very well with an apt hook for the readers. I'm curious as to how well you'll deal with the Romance tag on your first attempt. You've certainly got Scootaloo's character down, and the first person perspective as well. Of course the hard part of the First Person medium comes from interactions with other characters and keeping the reader intrigued through multiple chapters.
I certainly think you have the skills to pull it off well. Which I hope you do, because I'd love to have another Sweetie Belle story to write a solid blog about. Do your best in writing. I am eager to read the results. Thanks for writing,
~SilentBelle
I got so into the story so quickly I hardly noticed that I was done until i saw the letter...
So many questions that comes up... Great, great first chapter.
Amaaaazing job, DeepShift!
Even though I have a major problems with getting online anytime when I'm not at school I'm going to follow your stories until the end of fimfiction.
3506734 Thank you so much! I really hope I can keep you interested, this story is currently my biggest (and most ambitous) project, so most of my writing will go towards it. You can probably expect semi-regular updates.
~DeepShift
I want UPDAAAATEEEEEEE
I really like the story!!
If you need help with ideas or advice, ask me! I am currently writing my first fic on here too. Well, I've written others, but none here.
3501543 try anyways. the more competition the better I think
will give this a read once it is finished.
Good luck to you brony person
3508359 Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.
If I need help with ideas, I'll make sure to contact you 
~DeepShift
3509148 Thanks good sir, same to you.
~DeepShift
3507763
Sweet. I'll be looking forward to more!
And you're welcome.
Holy horsefeathers that cover art is deja vu!
So much deja vu! Y???
Okay, I'm good... phew... so, story? Let's just say I'm SO glad you added it this week so I could read it!
The tone and atmosphere of your writing is painfully perfect through most of the story. It felt like you rushed through just a tiny bit, but not enough for me to point out where or how or enough for it to really bother me. I agree with most everything that's been said so far; little to soon to lay on the "life sucks" so heavily, but again it didn't bother me much.
That brings me to commas. Now, I don't claim to know everything about them, and I might be wrong on this front (since no one else seems to have pointed it out), but there are repeated occasions in which it seems to me that you don't need a comma, but you put one anyways...
Those are a few instances of what I'm talking about. There are other instances, but I don't want to hunt them all down cuz I'm not yer damn editor here. I don't know enough technical words to explain why it sounds wrong... but someone correct me if I'm wrong about this, 'cause I've been told before that I use too few commas. I might point out another technical qualm or two later, but nothing that would really affect your rating.
Overall, this is well deserving of all the praise you've been receiving for it. good show, sir!
Rating:
(I wish I could give you a 
, but I'd have to read more before I could go there.)
Congratulations, you commited 0 of the 7 sins of writing MLP fanfiction!
yay!
This comment is brought to you courtesy of my Weekly Watch! This is my third week so I'm still working on the feature, but if you're interested in supporting me (or you just want to read the best of what I've read every week) then go ahead and join my group! I'd appreciate the tartarus out of it!
This one I'm fairly certain about, and though it seems to be an isolated incident I want to make sure you know why this is wrong. The first of those two commas should go, maybe both of them (less sure about that). This would be correct if "single" was describing the crate itself. However, I don't think you mean that the crate is a bachelor, in which case you should ommit that first comma.
3512265>>3512287 Welp, thanks Flux! I'm glad you've enjoyed it it so far
I'm hoping to update it this week, so yay! Anyways, I see what you mean and have endeavoured to remove the unecessary comma's. Thanks a bunch for the review! 
~DeepShift
I demand update!
Hey man, just curious. When is the next update? I am not pushing it, I just want to know.
By the way, I finished prologue to my story.
*Little girl squeal*
Should be up soon.
3542925 Well, when I figure out how to smoothly ease into a flashback scene xD I'm a little stuck with it. Also, awesome! Can't wait to see what you come up with pal.
~DeepShift
3506549 Welp, thanks very much for the support. Sorry it took so long to respond, life can get hectic
I hope you'll stick with us for the rest of this! Thanks for reading.
~DeepShift
Well...
You certainly started string on this one!
~Skeeter The Lurker