The Cassandra Crossovers

by CassandraMyOCisBestpony

Thief: The Dark Project

Keeper Artemus stood silently in the shadows, watching, observing. Suddenly he sensed movement behind him. He grabbed at an offending hoof that was making a move for his coin purse.

"That's not for you," he said to the would be pickpocket Cassandra,

"Two more seconds and it would've been," she said sheepishly.

"It takes talent to see a keeper," he commended, “especially one who does not wish to be seen.”

“And even more talent to steal from one” said Cassandra, triumphantly holding up Artemus’ coin purse in her free hoof.

“What is it you want from me?” he said, brusquely snatching back his coin purse, though secretly he was impressed with Cassandra’s skills.

“Tell me what you know about Garrett and the coming Dark Age.

---

Garrett the professional thief was sneaking around, plotting his next move.

“STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!” shouted a loud, raspy voice. Garrett leapt about a mile out of his skin, and turned with his sword drawn to face Cassandra. She easily blocked the blade, and then twisted up her face, and burst out laughing.

“BAHAHAHA!!! You are so jumpy, Garrett! I mean seriously, just relax, no ordinary guard would think to look up here for you.”

Garrett rolled his eyes, but his expression softened, “I guess that was pretty funny. I know I can be cynical sometimes, but you always know just what to do to bring a smile to my face.”

“So what’s the job today?”

“I have to break into Constantine’s house and steal a sword. But the house is like some freaky carnival attraction, with dead ends, twisted paths, and traps everywhere.”

“Don’t you worry Garrett, I’ll get you through this.” said Cassandra. She used her level 99 navigation skills to guide him through the mansion. They came upon a gem lying on an ornate looking shelf.

“Don’t mind if I do.” said Garrett, taking it into his bag.

“DOWN!” cried Cassandra, knocking him to the floor right before an arrow trap whizzed over their heads.

“Wow Cassandra, your trap finding skills are top notch.” said Garrett.

“I know. But don’t get cocky, I’ve been timing the guard cycles and there’ll be one coming into this room in exactly 13.6 seconds.” She leapt through a door in the ceiling and grabbed Garrett, slamming it shut just before the guard entered.
“Now which way?”

“That way” said Cassandra, using her level 99 searching skills. They came upon the sword and took it. Garrett was careless and almost got spotted by a guard, but Cassandra hid him at the last second.

“Wow, you’re like a master thief” he said, “I hope I can be a master thief too someday.”

---

When they brought the sword back to the client, he revealed that he was Constantine and this heist was just a test to see if Garret was ready for the real job.

"I had my doubts but if Cassandra's cottoned on to you, you must be something special."

"Are you saying I don't get a reward for the sword job?"

"In essence."

"Man, you can't trust anyone these days. Except Cassandra, because she's the element of Trust."

"Well, this job will pay off in spades. One hundred thousand of our nondescript currency."

"Ok, you've got yourself a deal "

Constantine's assistant Viktoria winked at Garret and Cassandra. Garret blushed.

---

"Has somepony got a little crush?" Teased Cassandra

"N-no" insisted Garrett, "emotions get in the way of my job, so I don't have them."

"Nice! Girls go crazy for that dark and aloof mystique, keep working that angle." They arrived at the abandoned Hammerite cathedral where their target, The Eye, was kept.

"Well shut, the door's locked" said Garrett. He sighed, I guess we have no choice but to go find the four macguffins that can open the door."

"Couldn't we just find another way in?" asked Cassandra, "being as this is an abandoned building, there's a pretty good chance that the wall's crumbled away somewhere"

He sighed heavily, "Well, I guess we have to go get the four talismans." Cassandra rolled her eyes.

---

Their first stop was the Hammerite temple in the Old Quarter (this one was still active). Since the temple was heavily occupied all hours of the day, stealthing was out of the question, they would have to pose as Hammerites and go undercover. Cassandra was a good actress, so she knew how to act and talk like a Hammerite. Garrett didn't so he disguised himself as an initiate, who was forbidden to speak.

Standing guard at the drawbridge was a man in the traditional Hammerite garb, a silver tunic with red sleeves and a hammer symbol on the chest. Like all Hammerites, his weapon of choice was a giant sledgehammer. After checking that their papers were in order he opened the gate and said, "Praise be the Builder, and may he give you strength to hammer thine enemies."

"Thankest thou brother, and may thou also find strength to smite the wicked" replied Cassandra.

“Wow Cassandra, you’re really good at that.” said Garrett

“My sister Luna taught me” explained Cassandra.

They went into the church, sneaking around and pocketing loot when no one was looking. Cassandra paid close attention to the subtle clues and eventually figured out that there were two talismans hidden securely in a cage, and would require several relics to disable the security locks. They would also need to visit the restricted Areas and pull the secret levers. As they continued sleuthing, they came upon a distraught looking Hammerite brother. His name was Karras, and he was a very talented inventor but he was small in stature and had a nerdy sort of voice.

"What doth be the matter, Brother Karras?" Asked Cassandra.

"Sister Cassandra, the other brothers doth be mean to me. They callest me 'Kar-ass, and they giveth thumbs down to mine inventions without explaining why."

Cassandra was shocked, "Forsooth! I doth haveth a zero tolerance policy for bullying. Brother Karras, I shalt help thee . In exchange all I ask is that thou purloin the talismans of Air and Earth.”

“Sister Cassandra, I art so grateful for thine help! Builder’s blessings be on thee, your will shall be done!” A few hours later, Karras, Garrett, and Cassandra stood outside the Hammerite temple, watching as the temple filled with a toxic gas, and the Hammerites inside choked and gasped for air.

“Karras, I have a confession to make to you.”

“Go on, Sister Cassandra, I shalt listen.”

“I’m not a Hammerite, I’m an atheist. Sorry if that makes you insecure.”

Karras looked pensive for a moment then said, “Sister Cassandra, I doth be wholly impressed by thine free thinking! Thou art so intelligent! I shalt be an atheist too!”

“I’m impressed by your free thinking too” said Garrett.

---

Next, they went deep underground to the Lost City for the other two Talismans. The Mane Six joined them for this part. First they came to a burrick, a small raptor-like creature that breathed toxic gas at its enemies.

“Stand back” said Garrett, “I’ll kill him with my sword.”

“No!” said Cassandra, “he’s not hostile, just in pain, watch.” The others looked on, biting their hooves nervously, as Cassandra approached the burrick. She lifted up its foot, and pulled out a thorn. The burrick was so grateful that it let Cassandra have the Water Talisman.

“Wow!” said Fluttershy, amazed by Cassandra's animal care skills. Next they searched for the fire talisman, but their path was blocked by a Fire Elemental, a hovering sphere of fire with no face and no emotions.

“Take cover!” cried Cassandra, pulling the group behind a rock as a wave of embers narrowly missed them.

“Ah bet he’s got a thorn stuck in his foot too.” said Applejack, “ah’ll help him out!”

“Applejack, no!” said Cassandra, but AJ ignored her. She trotted over to the fire elemental, who shot her with a fireball and killed her.
“Now, can anypony tell me what kills fire?” said Cassandra.

“Paper?” said Rarity.

“You’re lucky you’re pretty." said Cassandra exasperatedly, "Garrett, give me your bow.” With her expert marksmanship skills, Cassandra shot a water arrow at the fire elemental, causing it to fizzle out. Then she flew across the lake of lava and retrieved the fire talisman. Now, they had all four talismans and could get into the abandoned cathedral.

“I am so grateful you saved us, that I would like to offer you some practice kissing” said Rarity.

“Later” said Cassandra, “for now I have to help Garrett retrieve the Eye.”

---

They went to the cathedral, and there were scary zombies.

“I am afraid of the zombies” said Garrett.

“Not to worry” said Cassandra, “they’re vulnerable against fire, light, and holy water. I’m an ordained minister in Equestria, so I can actually get you all of the holy water you need.”

Cassandra comforted Garrett as they journeyed through the decrepit cathedral, with Cassandra murdering zombies easily. Eventually the came to the Eye itself. It was a big red ruby with a metal talon protruding from it. The talon looked like it once held a golf ball-sized spherical object.

“Whew” said Garrett, “I’m so glad that Constantine, who tricked me once before, will now give me my money with no more complications.”

---

They returned to Constantine’s house with the Eye, and he was pleased to get it.

“Well done, Garrett and Cassandra.” he said mysteriously, “now for your comPENSATION!!!!!!!” Suddenly, Constantine transformed into his true form, the Pagan god himself, known as the Trickster! Cassandra quickly his herself away safely, but Garrett was too slow.

“Bows you to the woodsie lord!” declared the Trickster in Pagan dialect. Viktoria revealed her true form, a wood-skinned dryad with hundreds of snaking branches coming out of her hand. With her wicked tendrils, she tied Garrett to a pillar and used one sharp branch to gouge out his eye. “Your flesh bes givers the Eye its power! Plantses consume flesh, woodses consume cities!” she declared, placing Garrett’s eyeball in the Eye’s talon.

“We must bes makings preparations for the final ritual.” said the Trickster. The two of them departed.

Cassandra emerged from her hiding place. “You know Garrett, I know some ponies with really weird fetishes who’d go crazy over Viktoria’s vines.”
“Could you please just get me
out of here? In case you hadn’t noticed I’m in a lot of pain, and probably blind.”

“Relax, I’ve been teaching Karras how to make prosthetic eyes. He’ll have one for you soon enough.”

“How can you be so calm? The Trickster’s going to bring about the end of the world!”

“Because we can defeat the Trickster, trust me.”

“Really? And just how many gods of chaos have you killed?”

“Actually….no never mind, I don’t want to make you jealous. Anyways, let’s go.” She gave Garrett a healing herb and the two headed into the Trickster’s lair for the final confrontation.

---

They came to a swarm of the Trickster’s servants, and Cassandra defeated them all with one swipe of her perfect mane. Finally, they came to the Trickster himself. He was performing a ritual on The Eye that would bring about chaos and the end of the world. However, Cassandra had a plan. She had crafted a fake Eye that was so convincing it would fool even the Trickster. Moving so stealthily that not even the Trickster god himself could detect her, she approached the pedestal where The Eye stood, and switched the real with the fake.

“The ritual is complete!” declared the Trickster, “...wait what???” the spell backfired, killing him instantly and saving the world! The Keepers gave Cassandra a medal, and promoted her to honorary head keeper. Garrett was so moved that he decided to stop being cynical.

“I will miss you more than you know” said Garrett, “I will dedicate all my future thievings to you.” He disappeared silently into the night, and Cassandra returned to Equestria.

---

Rarity was playing “Thief” on her computer with Cassandra watching over her shoulder.

“When do I get the machine gun?” asked Rarity.

“You don’t” said Cassandra, “this is a victorian-era game, they don’t have those.”

“But all I have is a sword and a bow. How am I supposed to kill the terrorists?”

“Those aren’t terrorists, they’re guards. The goal is to be clever and stealthy, avoid confrontation, and only kill when absolutely necessary.”

“That’s boring” said Rarity, “die guards, die!!!!” she charged in and started hacking them up with her sword. She managed to kill two before they alerted the other guards, who quickly killed her. “This is impossible, nopony could beat this game,” she scoffed.

“Hey Cassandra!” said Sweetie Belle, trotting into the room, “remember how you said you’d french me if I beat the game on Expert?”

“I never said that.”

Sweetie Belle shrugged, “worth a try.”