Ponies on Ponies

by Ravenmane

20 - Words of Farewell

May 31, 2012

“Are you sure you can’t go Alex,” Twilight asked me as the eight of us enjoyed our last dinner together. It was thankfully warm enough to eat on the patio tonight.

“It’s not a matter of not able Twi,” I replied. “You have your fears and I have mine.”

“For once, I’m willing to admit I’m scared,” admitted Rainbow. “I mean who’ll fill your shoes Al?”

“What about Soarin,” Twilight suggested.

“Al’s twice the stallion that pie crazed pegasus is.”

“I’m sure you’ll find somepony Dashie,” I told her calmly.

“Nopony’ll call me that with the same feeling. I mean, you make it sound perfect Al.”

“Um Alex,” chirped Twilight, “are we still on for tonight’s stargazing?”

“Wait, you let me have a week of joy riding with Al so you could have a night under the stars?”

I bit my lip. “Nobody told you Dashie?”

“Everypony’s been ignoring me whenever you come up in conversation!”

“To be perfectly honest ah didn’t wanna get involved in this,” admitted Applejack.

“I don’t want to choose between my friends,” added Pinkie. “Alley, Dashie, Twilight, we all agreed not to take sides.”

*****

June 1, 2012

When I woke up I felt empty, I knew what was happening today and it just made getting out of bed a mixture of painful and necessary. Today I was going to say goodbye to each of my guests.

If you have something to say to anyone now’s the time to say it, harped a voice in my mind.

So I just single them out and apologize about not saying anything sooner, I mentally retorted.

Well, when you put it that way…

I can’t ask either to give all of it up, to ignore their friends and family for me. It just isn’t fair.

The mental debate continued to go back and forth as I took my shower, each side changing its point of view from time to time, creating the argument’s refusal to die.

*****

I eventually managed to drag myself down for breakfast and nearly everyone looked similar to me. Rainbow and Twilight looked the worst, as if they spent all night crying. There really was no life in the room, especially from Pinkie Pie. I guess it’s hard for her to wrap her head around never being able to be there for a close friend ever again.

Next to my place at the table was a small stack of journals, seven in total. I still remembered getting them with Twilight. She met Lauren and they seemed to hit it off plenty. I don’t know how I’ll explain to her that Twilight and her friends aren’t here anymore, that they had to go home.

“We all agreed to let you have them,” Twilight explained as she looked towards me and accidentally jabbed her cheek with a spoonful of cereal, causing me to give a very feeble smile. You know the kind that could just come and go without a reason.

I took a deep breath and tried to imagine what I wanted to say to all of them. I practiced so many times but saying it to them was harder still. “I know we’re all thinking it,” I said slowly, each word tearing its way through my heart. “We all know what’s going to happen in a few hours. None of us really feel like we have the energy to say goodbye and I for one don’t really want to. We all know we should but I just don’t want to say it.” I paused in an attempt to recompose myself.

Not time to cry yet. You can cry after they’re gone.

“I didn’t know what to do for all of you. I mean like something to remember all the time we shared. In the end, I had nothing I could say to convey what I thought. Instead, and I know it’s a really lousy thing, but I wanted you all to have the contents of the folder on the small table near the door. It’s that group picture of all of us. There’s a copy for each of you and I hope you treasure them. Thank you for all the time we spent together, all the laughs, all the games, even the arguments, I loved all of it. Thank you for these journals too but none of you mind that I’ll end up reading them?”

“Heavens no darling,” answered Rarity. “How could you assume we would be offended with you perusing them when we want you to have them?”

I smiled an empty, vacant smile. “I suppose so Rarity, I’m happy to know that’s why you’re giving them to me. Also, there’s a book there and I’d like it to be sent to Princess Celestia. I wanted her to read about my own lessons in friendship if you think she’d take them.”

“I’ll deliver them personally Alex,” added Twilight as she focused on the thick book filled with my messages to the solar diarch.

*****

Nobody spoke anymore as we finished our breakfast. In fact, nobody said much of anything while Twilight prepared the spell that would send all of them back to Equestria. I looked to each of them in turn, trying to convey what I couldn’t bring myself to say.

At least I didn’t feel alone in this silence. Words seemed to escape all of us. There were no good-bye hugs, silence and teary eyes were just about all any of us was capable of doing.

*****

As I closed the door, I sighed. They were all gone. I never said how I felt, how much I really would miss them. I didn’t want to brood on the thought for too long. Instead, I made a silent pact with my former guests: I’d push on, regardless of what life threw at me.

Right now though, I think it’s time to do some reading and editing…

Comments

[JellyMyst]

I think the Doc summed it up best:
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