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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Thirteen? THIRTEEN! Are you okay? Please wake up! Oh man this is bad, real bad. Umm.. ok.. it may be a bit of a bumpy ride in the near future, but just hang in there for me, you hear me? Just hang in there. Please let her be alright. Please please please...
4074222 I GOT DIS! HUZZAH! HEMORJES EX MORTIS! *BOOM*
This is way too late now, but there are so many spelling errors, awkward phrasings, and a number of ambiguous subjects. Hopefully it gets better later on, especially since someone was supposedly editing for you. The premise of the story is really cool though!