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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Just finished reading the first 2 chapters. It keeps changing between first and third person views, you might want to skim over it and fix that. Other than that it is off to a good start so far.
3436053 You're welcome.
Just wanted to toss in here that the past tense of spin is spun, not span
"Ministry of Magic Research Facility #43." Geary sighed, turning away from us, go ahead and refuse, the last three who accepted didn't return."
Corrected: "Ministry of Magic Research Facility #43." Geary sighed, turning away from us, "Go ahead and refuse, the last three who accepted didn't return."
I think you mixed Cait and Scrapyard up there. Either that, or Cait's a lot friendlier to Webby than I thought.
3785302 Woopsie Hehe, Cait may be outgoing but not that outgoing, fixed it!