Mobster Meets Equestria

by Caddy Finz

Chapter 8: Some Bits for the Road

Chapter 8: Some Bits for the Road

"Get the fuck out of my bed, Rainbow Bitch!" Spike yelled, interrupting my sappy and potentially life changing moment.

Soon after the irate reptile shouted the obscenities, a ruckus could be heard on the second floor followed by the finally awake Rainbow Dash, now dubbed Cloud Speed crashing down off the loft, hitting the floor with a solid thud.

"Spike!" Sparks yelled in apparent disapproval. "I told you before, when she's had a lot of cider, she takes longer to wake up!"

"Not my problem!" Spike retorted.

Naturally, Cloud was pretty sore and hung over and now she just got dropped a good dozen feet or so so she would of course need some time to recover...or so I thought.

"Vinnie!" Cloud exclaimed. "That. Was. Awesome! You held your liquor way better than I thought you would. Though you didn't beat me, you were the first to ever be a worthy competitor!"

"Aw shit, I lost?" I replied as Cloud got up to her hooves and walked towards me with a fore-hoof extended.

"Yeah, but so what? You were so close to beating me that I decided to call it a draw and split the bets I er- we won, fifty-fifty! Respect!"

"You're shitting me! How much did that turn out to be?!"

"Eh, not a whole lot. Each of us get about four hundred bits. You're supposed to make a fist and bump my hoof by the way."

Upon hearing what Cloud told me, I couldn't help but freeze up for a moment as my mind went numb at the fact that in just under a week, I would be returning home a very rich man. The only thing I could physically get myself to do was offer my fist to my new buddy and oblige to her "hoof bump".

"Uh, Vinnie?" Sparks said. "You've got a little, um. You're starting to, uh. Here, I'll get that. Hold still." She then proceeded to levitate a tissue to my face to wipe some drool away.

"Ah, my bad, Sparks." I said. "Cloud here basically just told me that I'll be set for life when I get home. One bit worth of gold here is like two grand where I'm from. If I get a couple hundred or so more, I'll be the richest sonuvabitch around!"

"It's kind of a shame you're not sticking around forever." Sparks giggled. "Everypony really enjoys having you here."

"It's cool, I got plenty of time to chill with ya's at the end of a workday but I kinda wanna find a part time job if I'm gonna succeed when I get outta here."

"Alright, Vinnie. If you insist. I believe Applejack needs some extra help at her farm. Cider season is in full swing and you could earn a few bits for the road at Sweet Apple Acres."

"Oh you mean that hick pony who supplied the booze? Yeah, at first I thought she was annoying as fuck but I guess she ain't so bad. Do I owe her anything? I drank a shit ton of her cider."

"Actually, Pinkie covered your first mug and Applejack said that the show you and Rainbow Dash put on promoted so much business that she wanted to pay you!"

"See ya later, I'll be back by dark, thanks for the hugs!"

After running out, slamming the door without saying another word to my...friend, I made my way to the apple orchard to try to get some more dough to bring home with me. I wasn't really thinking about it at first but on my way there, I felt kinda bad that I just up and ran outta the joint like that. I'm sure she'd understand though. Also, it was nice to just take a leisurely stroll in the nice country setting without a bunch of toothless inbreds telling me that they "don't like my type 'round here". Sure she had that God awful drawl but that Jackie wasn't so bad now that I thought of it. I really did benefit from getting smashed and she is helping make me rich after all. How could I dislike somebody like that? Shit, going soft again, snap out of it. Just here for a week and the hug meant nothing. Ah who am I kidding, that was the nicest thing that ever happened to me.

Luckily for me and the ponies here, I managed to use my cigarettes sparingly and since I came here with a full pack just the other day, I still manged to have seventeen left. Doing the math, I figured if I had one more for the day, I could find the right balance between keeping my sanity and not running out too quick. Since I had cut back so much, I caught myself doing something I hadn't since I got up to the average of a pack per day. I was power-walking to the orchard.

"If only quitting were that easy." I said to myself as I slowed down to light one up.

It didn't take me much longer to get there since I got a pretty quick start at first. I came to the same fenced in field I saw the day before where there was a tiny little yellow pony with a red mane and a little bow tied to her standing at the wooden cider stand. I'm not gonna lie, the sight was adorable. I then proceeded to lay a firm smack on my own face. Tough guys aren't supposed to find anything to be cute.

"Excuse me, kid?" I said to the young filly. "Can you tell me where Jac- er Applejack is at?"

"Why howdy there!" The friendly filly replied. "Mah big sister's in that field over yonder! An' you must be Vinnie! She told me you did some advertisin' fer us yesterday! Thanks a bunch! Ah can't wait til ah'm old enough ta drink cider like y'all!"

"Heheh, take it from a guy who knows, kid. Overdoing it isn't all fun and games. Especially when you puke all over somebody wearing a blue uniform and a badge. It's a big hassle when ya gotta get a friend to bail you out and then you'll have to call hits on people who don't know who you work for. It's a bitch to deal with unless you know how to handle yourself."

"Ah'll keep that in mind, mister! Ah'm Applebloom by the way!"

"Nice to meet ya, kiddo. Stay in school, capiche?"

I never had kids of my own but for some reason, I've always had a knack for being nice and trying to set a good example, even though I was a criminal. Though I think saying "stay in school" might have been a bit cliché.

"Hey there, lookie who it is!" Jackie said as she noticed me walking towards her and the red stallion who Cloud Speed had harassed the other day. "Thanks fer comin' back, Vinnie! Ya met mah big brother, Big Macintosh ain't ya?"

"Uh, kinda" I replied. "I noticed that Clo- er. Rainbow Dash seems to have it in for you." I said mockingly to the big red guy.

"Eeyup" Big Mac replied.

"Yah haven't told her ta quit hittin' on yah yet?" Jackie said to Mac, sounding angry. "She's one of mah best friends, Mac! Yah can't go on lettin' her comin' on ta yah like that! It ain't right!"

"Lil' sis, it's hardly mah fault that all the mares 'round here like me s'much."

"Hey, Jackie" I interrupted. "You probably should have told him that before him and the Pinkster disappeared into that barn over there yesterday."

"Big mac, I oughtta kick yah all the way ta Canter-"

"I totally made that up, Jackie! Chill out!"

"Alright, alright, ah'm calm. Anyhow, yah wanna earn some extra bits? I wanted ta give ya a hundred fer promotin' mah cider stand and Big Mac is done totin' the cart 'round fer the day. How does twenty more each hour sound?"

"Eeyup" Mac interrupted as he was galloping away. "Gotta call it quits fer the day and save mah energy fer Dashie!" He then acted like a typical sibling by mockingly sticking out his tongue at Jackie and sprinted out of sight.

"He'd better be just messin' with me. It just feels so weird an' awkward knowin' that some of mah closest friends wanna fool 'round with mah brother. Anyhow Vinnie, Ifn' yah could grab hold o' that wheel barrow over yonder and hold it under each tree while I buck 'em, I'd be mighty appreciative."

In my working career, the only blue collar job I ever had was when I worked for Prix auto parts and even then, it was mostly cushy hours with lots of paper work. For the most part, I didn't care to get into manual labor but if I'm gonna come outta this a millionaire, I'm not above getting my hands dirty. It would probably be better than holding onto a blood stained ice pick anyway.

"Alright, Jackie. I'm on it" I said cheerfully as I firmly grasped the handles on the already half full wagon and hoisted it up.

CRACK!

"What'n the hay was that, Vinnie?" Jackie asked as she turned around to see me frozen on the spot. "Yah bent yer legs when yah lifted that, right?"

"FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

Five Minutes Later

"You really should be more careful when you lift something that heavy, Vinnie." The shy Doc said as she stood on my back and popped it back into place. "Bending your legs usually helps."

"So I've been OW! told" I replied "Sorry Jackie, but this really isn't AHH! for me. As much as I'd like to have the extra bits, it's not worth putting myself in a wheelchair. At my age OOOOH! I gotta take it easy. Thanks for the opportunity though, kid."

"Aw shucks, Vinnie" Jackie replied. "Don't y'all worry about a thing, yah hear? Ah can't expect yah ta be goin' and hurtin' yerself. Ah'm just glad it wasn't worse than it turned out ta b-"

"Horsefeathers!" An old, light green mare yelled out from the Apple family farm house. "When Ah was that age, Ah was liftin' a dozen of them things at a time till the roosters crowed the next mornin'!"

"Take yer nap, Granny!" Jackie yelled back.

"You're alright, Jackie!" I said. "And Doc, thanks a million for helping me again. I'd be mangled and all kinds of fucked up without ya."

"I'm glad I could be of help, Vinnie" Doc replied. "And if your back is still sore, I'd be more than happy to escort you back to Twilight's library."

"That's sweet of ya, Doc. I just want you to do one more thing for me though."

"Sure, what's that?"

"Promise me you won't act all creepy like you did before, will ya?"

"Oh, sorry about that, Vinnie. It's just that time of year but It's over for me now."

"Uh, I'll pretend I know what you're talking about and just leave it at that. Let's go, Doc."

End Chapter 8

Author's Note:

I have to admit, the next few chapters are going to be mostly filler during Vinnie's wait for Princess Celestia to Return from her political tour. It is however, going to be very meaningful and it will be a laugh and cry kinda thing. no more spoilers from now on. that's it.

Comments

[Oubliette]

Mobster introduces swearing to ponies? Check.
Causes havoc? Check.
Turns CMC into a mafia hit squad? Remains to be seen.
Diamond Tiara gets to swim in cement? Hopefully.

[Clicker]

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE ALL OCS THAT ARE NOT RED AND BLACK, FIX YOUR GRAMMAR!

[icedude94]

3553125 why not tiara sleeping with the fishes and her head on her papa's bed as a warning to not to be uptight as her daugther

[Caddy Finz]

3553614 May I ask what exactly you are talking about and why you feel that it is necessary to to use such a massive font size?

[Clicker]

3555111 I never said I need or want to fix my grammar.

[Clicker]

3554186

"yeah but so what?  you were so close to beating me that I decided to call it a draw and split the bets I er- we won, fifty-fifty!  Respect!"
"you're shitting me!  how much did that turn out to be?!"
"eh, not a whole lot.  each of us get about four hundred bits.  you're supposed to make a fist and bump my hoof by the way"

After every period you need what ever is next to be capitalized,(and names) do not start a sentence off with and, this also effects dialog the first bit of it needs to be "Yeah but so what?" You only seem to be having a hard time in dialog! Otherwise this story is great! Please continue.

[Clicker]

3558319 Muhahahahaha...

[Caddy Finz]

3555454 No hard feelings. I'm glad you at least like the story. Dialog is really the only thing that I may need improvement on. It can be a bitch finding a good balance between having a character who speaks in slang and vernacular and having correct grammar and such. However, please don't damage my eyesight when you post your input okies?

[Clicker]

3559252 Muhaha your eyes will bleed.

[BureYaAkili]

3553614
Please, for all those who are not blind;
stop.
Now.
An do not repeat this course of action at a later date.
Evar.

[Maniac92]

Remember kids, Vinnie the mobster says "Stay in school"!

[Flutters Is Shy]

Oh. Her 'time of the year'. Sorry Fluttershy, misjudged you.

Guess she was just horny.

Don't you hate when you make a reference or have what you think is a particularly funny joke in your story -or just new chapter- and then no one comments on it?

[Remnant Viscera]

"Actually, Pinkie covered your first mug and Applejack said that the show you and Rainbow Dash put on promoted so much business that she wanted to pay you !"

"See ya later, I'll be back by dark, thanks for the hugs!"

Ooo, that's a clunky shift between those two lines of dialogue. Feels like we skipped forward in time slightly.

Everything else seems fine to me for now, I shall continue.