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Chapter 1: I Quit the Mob Job2,411 words
Chapter 2: Not What I Had In Mind1,162 words
Chapter 3: Walking Dictionary1,281 words
Chapter 4: Take Me To Your Leader1,472 words
Chapter 5: Paint This Town, You're Stuck Here!3,938 words
Chapter 6: Did I Just Party With Ponies?2,093 words
Chapter 7: Interview With an Equine2,108 words
Chapter 8: Some Bits for the Road2,070 words
Chapter 9: Got Some Thinking To Do1,272 words
Chapter 10: Pastries and Parolees 1,794 words
Chapter 11: Apple Punch, Shootaloo and Sweetie Bomb1,801 words
Chapter 12: Swaggin' Dragon2,166 words
Chapter 13: Kickin' The Habit2,600 words
Chapter 14: This Means War1,934 words
Chapter 15: Time to Take Out the Trash2,162 words
Chapter 16: Operation Ponyvasion1,598 words
Chapter 17: Boss Battles Suck1,628 words
Chapter 18: Where I Truly Belong2,941 words

Chapter 18: Where I Truly Belong

Chapter 18: Where I Truly Belong

"Vinnie!" Sparks screamed at the top of her lungs as I heard the sound of several hooves rushing towards me.

I meant what I said before. I was going to save my only friends even if it killed me and I can honestly say that I did my job. I was about to get a bullet in my head with no way to escape and Tony was about to get speared and trampled by the Royal Guards. We were both about to die and he didn't care as long as he took me with him. I at least hope I had made peace with my maker before I left. I closed my eyes just before the final death blow was to rain down on me.

POW!

I winced as A shot came from where Tony was standing. It was all over. Don't get me wrong, I really didn't want to die but what bothers me more than anything is that my only friends had to see my skull get blown open. All I could do now is wait to be stood before the ultimate judge and hope he would point his thumb up instead of down. I drifted off to the afterlife with nothing but the sound of the hooves rushing towards me getting louder and louder still. It seemed odd to me that I could still hear it. I would have thought a .357 to the brain would kill me instantly. I finally saw the light but not the one I expected as my eyes opened to see Tony still standing there. The menacing look of death in his eyes was replaced by a numb, blank, zombie-like stare. Looking further upward at him, I noticed that the top part of his head was missing for some reason.

THUD!

It turns out that Tony was taken out before he had the chance to kill me as he flopped to the floor revealing spike standing a few yards away clutching my missing .38 snub-nose with smoke wafting out of the barrel. I was spared another shot but that sure as hell didn't mean I was outta the woods yet. Finally, the girls and the guard Captain reached me and came screeching to a halt.

"Vinnie, no!" Pinkster screamed, tears rushing down her face. "This can't happen! You weren't supposed to go like this!"

As my consciousness drifted away, the frantic yelling of the girls became less and less audible to me. Sparks' brother was trying his best to calm his sister down as he embraced her. I wanted to speak but as my eyelids got very heavy, I couldn't say anything for the life of me. Everything finally went completely dark and If I was even still alive, I was now depending on a healthcare system that was beyond Fluttershy's expertise and had no experience with my kind.

Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...

I looked around the hospital room in a daze and observed my surroundings. As I faded in and out of consciousness, I noticed a fluid iv needle had been stuck in my right arm. Following the thin tube was a quarter full crimson red bag hanging on a pole a few feet above my head. Looking around even more revealed that I was hooked up to a heart monitor. As I started to gather myself and actually be able to think, I could hear a set of hooves slowly walking towards the room. I continued to observe my surroundings as a yellow Earth stallion with a brown mane and tail wearing a white lab coat trotted past the room having briefly peeked into the open door. Apparently having noticed my movement, he bolted back to double take, his heart monitor cutie make nearly glowing as much as the one I was hooked to.

"Girls!" The Doctor exclaimed. "He's waking up!"

No sooner did he finish his sentence did the floor start shaking like crazy. Great, I just get shot and a blood transfusion and now we got an earthquake. Wait, what? What kind of blood is going into me? There aren't any other humans around!

"Vinnie!" The girls exclaimed in unison as they sprinted into the room.

"Hey everypony, I'm ok!" I replied. "One question though."

"What's that, Vinnie?" Sparks asked.

"Who's blood is getting pumped into my arm? In my world, getting the wrong type can do more harm than good."

Just then, the group separated revealing Applejack in the other side of the room who then lifted her foreleg to show a gauze bandage with a small red spot on the knee or joint or whatever you call those.

"Nopony else here except Applejack and Pinkie had the right blood type." Twilight explained. "Pinkie's sugar level was too high to be safe for you and we didn't have time to find anypony else. I was able to use my magic to make it compatible with human blood but I would't have been able to make it the same type."

"Oh my God." I stuttered as I began to well up once more. "Jackie. You gave your *sniff* blood to save me? I-I owe you my *hic* life, buddy."

"And Ah'd do it again for yah, Vinnie." Jackie replied. "That's what friends do, sugarcube."

"Aw fuck I love you guys!"

The girls all joined me in a group hug when a sudden realization hit me.

"Oh shit!" I yelled. "Spike! Where is he?! Is he ok?!"

"I'm right here, pal!" Spike chimed as he ran into the room and jumped in to join our group hug.

"Spike, kid." I said. "I'm so sorry."

"About what, Vinnie?"

"I-I-I. Aw fuck man I'm so sorry you had to do that!"

At this point, I was sobbing uncontrollably. I had to kill for my job but I was a grown man by the time I had taken my first contract. Spike was just a kid and he just shot a man in the back of the head. Granted that the guy was a scumbag but a life is a life weather you like it or not. Taking one does't make you feel too hot no matter who's it was.

"I don't see what the big fuss is about." Spike replied, sounding confused. "I don't feel any different. The guy was gonna blow your head off so I popped his first."

Hmm. No remorse or regret for killing someone...must be a reptile thing. I confess, it did make me feel a little better that he wasn't emotionally destroyed but then again, we may want to keep an eye on him when he gets older.

"Mr. Scungilli!" Princess Celestia exclaimed as she entered the room with her back legs strapped to a wheelchair-like contraption. Her sister, Princess Luna followed behind her in the same state. "Equestria owes you our thanks for your selfless act of bravery!"

"It's no trouble, Your Highness." I replied. "It was the least I could do. Everypony here took me in as a friend. That's better than any amount of money I could ever have gotten my hands on."

"Speaking of which, my sister and I have discussed another matter as well." Princess Luna began. "You name it. Anything you could ever want. You deserve it for what you did for all of us. You have time to think it over while you recover from your wounds. We'd like to send you back to where you came with something to remember us by."

I thought for a moment on what the princess had just told me. I had already been given two of the best gifts imaginable. The magic of friendship and years added to my life because Sparks helped me ditch smoking. What more could I possibly want? That's when it hit me.

"Who said I was leaving?" I said to which everypony responded by starting another group hug and even began cheering.

"Consider it done!" Princess Celestia said. "The doctor says you will need at least a week to recover and during that time, I will start the process for your citizenship papers! We would be honored to have you as an official citizen of Equestria!"

"Thanks so much, everypony! Oh and there's also one small thing you could do for me. Well, more like for the entire world."

"Oh? And what would that be?"

"Destroy all of those guns. I came from a world that has those and this one doesn't need 'em. I think I've corrupted the place enough as it is."

"Captain Shining Armor, have the confiscated weapons thrown into a furnace."

"Yes, Your Highness!" Sparks' brother replied from outside the room.

My week long stay in the hospital went by a lot faster than I anticipated. Every single day, my friends would come to visit and Each morning I woke up, I started feeling better and better still. The Mayor and several other townsponies even stopped to see me and give me their personal thanks. I was also able to get to know Twi's bother and his wife. Such a cute couple. Yeah that's right, I said "cute". Big whoop, wanna fight about it? I'll worry about it when I start talking with a lisp.

Finally, the doctor gave me the green light and the hospital sent me on my way with a cane so I could walk right. I would only need it temporarily. On the day of my discharge, I was to meet The princesses and everypony else at the town hall where I would officially be made a citizen of this beautiful world. Kinda like being made except I didn't have to butcher a bunch of wiseguys for it. As I neared the town hall with my friends leading the way, I could see the royal sisters with the mayor behind a podium up on some kinda stage with everypony in town in front of them.

"Jeez, I didn't see that coming." I said surprised by the massive turnout. "All that to be made a citizen here?"

"Oh but of course, dear." Gem replied. "After all, you saved our town from those shit stains."

"No I didn't. We did! I'll be honest with ya though, it doesn't sound too ladylike hearing that come outta your mouth. Still funny though."

"Fillies and gentlecolts!" The mayor said as she addressed the crowd. "I'm sure you all know why we are here so unless you didn't hear the firefight that occurred at the town hall last week, I shall proceed. And now, put your hooves together for our dear friend. The human who saved us all and taught us an amazing lesson. That underneath the most hardened individual with the toughest past, there lives a wonderful friend who we can all get to know and love! Give it up for Vincenzo Scungilli!"

With the the signal given, I hobbled onto the stage over to the podium. I was never much for public speaking. Mostly because last time I tried it, I had to dodge a suspicious red dot that found its way to my chest. Nonetheless, I wasn't too worried about that happening here so I was actually quite excited.

"Thanks, Miss Mayor" I began. "Thank you all! I guess that is a nice lesson to have leaned but If it weren't for all of you being so accepting towards me, I'd be the same nothing I was when I first got here. All my life, I never had a real friend to speak of and Celestia knows I didn't really care so much at the time. But you showed me how wonderful friendship truly is! The fact that Equestria is granting me citizenship...well, that just proves where I really belong!"

I was shocked that I was able to keep it together. It proved very difficult to keep my emotions in check. The crowd was going absolutely nuts as Princess Celestia wheeled herself over to me with my paperwork hovering in her aura.

"Vinnie" Celestia began. "My sister and I have been thinking about this a lot. We feel that a few weeks here the way you are is fine but we don't think you would be comfortable living here the rest of your life as such. We have something in mind that will help you fit in better and be happier as a lifelong citizen."

"Uh, whadda ya mean?" I replied, very confused. "What are you getting at?"

"Vinnie, it is an absolute honor to name you an official citizen of Equestria!"

The princess then lowered her head and placed her glowing horn on top of my forehead. I had no idea what was to happen. I didn't have a clue what she was talking about and I was actually getting a bit anxious. The light was getting so bright, I could no longer keep my eyes open. When it faded away, I worked up the nerve to open them again.

"What the hell?" I said as I shook my head to snap out of a daze. "You wanna make me feel more comfortable by shrinking me? I don't get it."

"Not exactly, Vinnie" Sparks said. "Take a look at this."

I then turned to where she was standing to come face to face with mint green Earth stallion with a black mane and tail with a little gray in it. kinda similar to my hair. Friends with everypony or not, getting all up in my face is bad for ones health.

"Uh yeah I don't know if you were around for my drinking contest with RD..." I began. "But I said before, I don't wanna have to slap somepony around. Get outta my face!"

Just to add more insult, the smartass was moving his mouth in sync with every word that came out of mine. I don't know who this guy is but he was getting on my nerves.

"Yo, Vinnie!" Pinkster said.

"Not now, kid. I'm about to lay a smackdown on some punk!"

"But that's a mirror!"

"I don't give a f-What?!"

I then realized that the fist I was about to raise wasn't so much a hand anymore. I looked down where my hands used to be and was greeted by the sight of two non cloven hooves attached to forelegs the same mint green color as the punk in my way.

THUD!

Ok so the entire chain of events was a dream. It's gotta be, right? There's no way I fell into a central park fountain, met talking equines, made friends with them, shot a bunch of shit up and got turned into a pony.

SPLOOSH!

Nope. This is very real indeed.

"Holy Fuck!" I screamed as I was jolted awake by Pinkster's bucket once more. I then returned to my ~~feet~~ hooves to mentally process what had just happened. All seven of my best friends including spike were all standing before me with big smiles and watery eyes. I noticed that I even had a cutie mark. It looked like a heart made of stone with a bunch of stone chips breaking off of it revealing a softer pink heart inside. Judging by what the ponies have told me about what I taught them, I say that makes sense.

"How do yah feel, sugarcube?" Jackie asked.

"I feel like a-" I replied with a brief pause as I looked my new body over. "Er, hell I feel pretty good right now. I bet I could run a marathon and still have enough stamina to do it again."

"Not to mention you look incredibly handsome." Gem added.

"Oooooh. Soooooo handsome." Fluttershy said as she started squeezing my ~~arm~~ foreleg as if she was expecting me to flex.

"Uh Flutters, sweetie." I said as I gently withdrew my ~~arm~~ leg away from her. "You know I love you very mu-"

"Ohmigosh I love you too!"

"Gah, Lemme finish! I love you as a friend!"

I began ~~running~~ trotting away and Doc Flutters of course started to follow as the rest of the girls burst out into laughter.

"Vinnie, wait!" Fluttershy called out. "We should totally go ou-"

"Get me outta here!"

Just kidding. I think I'll manage once she snaps out of it and comes to her senses. In the meantime, I've got a whole new world to explore and call my permanent home.

THE END

Author's Note:

*Takes a bow* Well here you go. I wanna thank everyone for your support. Also a shout out to those of you I met at bronycon! Nice to meet you and I hope to see you next year!

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