The Coronation of Princess Antares
Well, it goes without saying that Princess Celestia's expression was a personal favorite of mine where she was concerned: she looked like she was about to bash her head against a wall because her brain was still trying to figure out what had happened. Luna, for her part, still looked quite irked with my captain and lieutenant, but she seemed less inclined to send them to the moon. Cadance and Shining Armor were facehoofing me, and Night Stalker had reverted back to his normal stoicism. Despite that, I could see a hint of a glower in his eyes. Raining Skies, though? If she thought it would have been allowed, she would have collapsed onto the ground, laughing her head off the whole time. I'm glad that somebody appreciated it, at least. I thought it was a stroke of genius.
Celestia sighed again and shook her head. "I was, admittedly foolish to not think that you might do something like this. I thought that I knew you better."
I snorted and rolled my eyes. "I thought that you would have seen this coming a mile away, yes." My smirk returned. "I think it's a nice touch to what I assure you is quite the capable fighting force."
Luna squeaked slightly, and when I looked at her she seemed about to blow a vein. "N-nice touch?! This is not befitting of a royal guard of Equestria!" Her eyes narrowed and she leaned forward so that her snout was almost touching mine. "This is utter nonsense!"
"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men," I responded evenly. A twinkle returned to my eye. "So those wise men must be ecstatic."
Luna's left eye twitched, and she doubtlessly wanted to blast me away. She probably would have if not for the fact that it would have been a terrible idea. "Thou art not showing thy station proper respect, Antares." Luna's eyes narrowed. "We think that We may join you in your endeavor to reverse your ascension. You clearly are not taking these matters seriously!"
I chuckled and patted Luna on the head. I was playing a dangerous game, but I wouldn't play it if I wasn't sure I would win. "Oh Luna, you must think more practically. You see, if I want you to be, you're all my prisoners."
Luna's glare faded, and was replaced by a bemused expression; one mirrored by everybody else. "We do not understand what you mean, Antares. Thou art not yet powerful enough to defeat any of us here."
I chuckled again. "Oh, I think I might be." I turned my gaze to the sky, my beaming smile never leaving my face. "A good military leader knows the advantages of a good distraction tactic, and you were so mad that Captain Blaze disrespected you, that I could have had you all defeated by now."
Luna's frown deepened, but she followed my gaze and gasped when she saw what I was getting at. The rest of the visitors looked around too, and they were no less shocked by what they saw.
A large portion of my army was out in full force, all armed to the teeth and pointing their weapons at the princesses and captains. Pegasi armed with crossbows were aiming their weapons directly at the heads of all three princesses, while a group of unicorns powered down the camouflage spells that they had cast on them by a group of four unicorns, finding them was like finding the best players ever in a sports fantasy draft, and they had swords at the necks of the three captains. A ring of heavily armored earth ponies formed a half-circle around the group, and they were in turn covered by some of the aforementioned pegasi as well as another group of Earth ponies who had spears in between the earth pony shields.
Celestia turned her head back to me, her jaw nearly on the floor. I made a show of shrugging my shoulders and giving her a 'well, whaddya gonna do?' look. She blinked once and turned her attention back to the force gathered before her. "It's amazing how far a series of sound dampening spells go when you're mad at somebody for a sarcastic quip, isn't it?" I said with a chuckle.
The six ponies at my mercy continued to stare open-mouthed at the fact that I had totally just gotten a one-up on them. One of the pegasus guards pointing his crossbow at Celestia snorted.
"Man, you guys just got owned."
* * * *
"Absolutely uncalled for!"
"I thought it was pretty funny."
"It is as We said before: thou art not taking thy responsibilities seriously!"
Well, I had, of course, told my guards to step down and they went back to the makeshift barracks I had set up for them. They were high-hooving each other, and laughing about the whole thing amongst themselves. Yeah, none of the princesses or captains were really in any danger, but it was nice knowing that I could have totally ordered them into the dungeons, if I had one, if I wanted to.
We went back into what was to be my throne room, where Luna instantly began angrily pacing about.
"You will not be hearing the end of this!" she snarled.
I rolled my eyes. "Oh really? I'm going to get into trouble with you guys by proving that not only are my guards awesomely sarcastic, but that we can use it as a tactical advantage if we need to?" I faked a frown. "I think you're just mad that I got one on you."
"I'll admit that the demonstration was... impressive," said Celestia, who had had a pensive look on her face ever since my guards dispersed. "You clearly put more thought into them than just their verbal capabilities."
I straightened up slightly and beamed. "Yep." I shot Luna a sideways glance. "I think the only reason dear Lulu is mad is because I scored a little victory that she didn't expect." I let out an amused scoff. "Come on, admit it: all things considered, it was an impressive move."
Luna glared at me, but I knew that once she figured out all of the pieces, she knew that she couldn't deny that I had actually had a plan the entire time as opposed to just doing it to make her look like a fool.
Okay, there was a little of that too, but still.
"It matters not," Luna said finally. "You have your guard, and it will suffice as a protective force."
It was as close to an admission of victory that I was going to get out of her, but I took it. I glanced over at Celestia who surprisingly had a small smile on her face. Of course, the smile clearly said 'this means more law books, but good job,' so I couldn't take any pleasure out of it.
Night Stalker for once looked a little shaken up. Not in the sense that he was nervous, but in the sense that he looked like he still wasn't quite sure what had just happened and how. No doubt he was looking for ways to counter it in the future.
Cadance and Raining Skies both looked vaguely amused, but I could also sense that there was a hint of unease there. Shining Armor, for his part, was glaring at me and standing a little closer than usual to his wife. Eh. Let him. I wasn't ever going to actually hurt any of them. Experience was the best teacher, and they just learned what kind of guard I'd just created.
Luna growled and waved a hoof. "We will put this matter aside. Should they never attempt to pull such a stunt again, We will let the matter slide." Luna glared at my two officers before continuing. "We have the matters of your coronation to discuss.'
My beaming smile fell, and a tight feeling welled up in my chest. That was it. Once the coronation was underway, I'd officially be a princess of Equestria. Thinking about it like that actually made me miss dishwashing back at school. Sure all of this was fun, and boy was it, but it was sobering to be reminded that it came with actual responsibilities. Millions of ponies would be looking up to me now. Maybe even worshiping me. That last one especially was an unpleasant thought.
I decided to hide my unease and simply gave Luna a single nod. "Yeah. We should probably get to that." I turned my attention to Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids. "This is one of the only times that I ask you to listen to Celestia and Luna's judgment. They are free to ask anything of the troops that they deem necessary. They do have more experience in this, after all. If you feel they are trying to manipulate you into doing something against me, you have my full permission to use the full extent of your snarcastiness against them, as do the rest of my troops."
The two saluted, and I turned back to the rest of the group. "Okay... what needs to be done?"
* * * *
With the full might of all four guard branches as well as another veritable army of craftsponies, my palace looked like something that a royal goddess would live in. It reflected my overall personality: it was simple, practical, but not run-down. It was a very cozy place to live. Of course, my room was completely my own. I didn't even allow my personal guard in there. They had to stand outside the door. The only thing in it in the beginning was a comfortable bed, and a bookshelf with a lot of beginner's magic and beginner's flying books on them. I hadn't gotten a chance to actually begin utilizing them, but I promised that I would set aside time for me. Even though I was a princess, I was a new one. The other three realized that I needed time to take care of myself first.
Well, a week later, the day of my coronation arrived. It had taken that long to make everything look good, but one day I woke up with the sun in my eyes and realize that this was it. I was officially going to be a princess now. I scoffed quietly to myself and sat up in bed. I stared at the door, knowing that somebody was going to knock on it any moment now to tell me all of the things that had to be done that day, and I knew that it was going to be packed. To hear Celestia and Luna describe it, I wouldn't get to go to bed until very late this evening.
I slid out of bed and walked into my bathroom. I took a quick, hot shower, which definitely helped my nerves a little, and relished taking as much time as I wanted to make myself look good in my own eyes. I levitated a brush in my magical aura and ran it through my mane so that it looked like something other than a disheveled mess.
I took a deep breath and began brushing my teeth, admiring my cutie mark as I did. Never thought that I'd get one. Heck, I remember back when I first came here and I was talking with Apple Bloom. She was lamenting the fact that she didn't have a cutie mark, and I made her giggle when I pointed out that she'd have hers before I ever got one. Guess I was wrong about that, then, wasn't I?
It might have been a sappy thing to do, but I walked back over to my bed and closed my eyes, remembering the small-town pleasures that Ponyville had to offer. Fishing quietly with Apple Bloom, teaching Cheerilee's class about Earth, slowly closing the door and going back to bed whenever I woke up and discovered that the town was doing a big song-and-dance number, it was all part of my life there. I had accepted that I wasn't going to be able to go back to Earth back then, so I did my best to carve out a relatively peaceful life for myself. Now that was gone.
Sheesh. It was like I had some sadist writing out my life; making the worst possible stuff happen to me whenever I got even a little comfortable with how things were going.
It would actually explain quite a bit.
Speaking of that, my reverie was interrupted when a loud knocking sound appeared on the other side of my door. I slowly nodded, resigning to myself the fact that the whirlwind day was about to begin. I took a deep, calming breath and walked over to my door. I opened it and poked my head out, revealing Celestia, Luna, and Cadance. I nodded to them and exited my room.
* * * *
After a small breakfast of toast and tea, the day began. Celestia was decently happy with how my mane and tail looked, but she still had a hair stylist go through it just to make sure that it looked absolutely perfect. After that, I put on my default regalia, but I could tell that somebody had been up for quite a while, polishing it and making sure it looked absolutely perfect. Celestia, Luna, and Cadance had all planned on wearing big, lavish outfits, but I talked them out of it. If I wasn't it was going to look awkward if they weren't going to either. They settled on wearing slightly more ornate versions of their own, normal regalia. Celestia assured me that I'd get some too for fancy occasions.
Overall, the morning was just about making sure that I was ready to face the crowd of ponies that I was going to be ruling for a long time. It was one of those mornings that seemed to drag on forever, but every hour that passed made the one before it feel like it had gone by in a second. Frankly all I could do was just keep taking deep breaths and try to avoid the increasing feeling of dread welling up inside of me. I was going to mess up. I was completely sure of that.
Well, the balance of things went a little my way when Celestia finally told me that I was going to have a few minutes to myself in the immediate time before the coronation, so that's where I found myself once my brain activity died down a little, and I was allowed to think straight. Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids had spent the entire day standing dutifully at my side, but I had asked them to stand outside of the room.
I laid back on a rather comfortable couch and was even considering a small two minute nap when I heard the door open. I cracked an eye open to see Celestia smiling at me. "You have some visitors that would like to speak to you, TD."
I sighed and nodded. "Yeah. Okay."
"I assure you, you will enjoy their company." With that, Celestia closed the door. I was only allowed another moment or two of silence before the door opened again and in flooded the Mane Six, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and, of all ponies, Cheerilee. The first nine were no surprise, but I was kinda touched that Celestia, or whoever had invited them to see me, had asked the closest pony that I had to a best friend with them.
All ten of them were dressed up, likely in Rarity designed outfits, and all of them were beaming at me. I chanced a glance at Twilight, and my heart sank a little when I saw that there was a little falseness behind her smile. Only a little though. Deep down I knew she was happy for me. I stood up to greet them, and was promptly given a crushing hug by all three Crusaders.
"Are you really going to be a princess, TD?" Apple Bloom asked excitedly.
"This is so cool!" Sweetie Belle squeed. "Ponyville is going to have a princess right next door!"
I chuckled and had to stop myself from affectionately ruffling up their manes. It wouldn't have mattered that I was a goddess; Rarity would have killed me. I opted instead for a little pat on the head for all three of them. "Yeah, it's true."
Scootaloo broke away from the hug and scoffed. "No offense, but it's a little weird hearing you with a girl's voice but still sounding like TD, ya know?"
I returned the scoff. "No kidding."
The adults gathered around me themselves, still smiling at me. "I take it that your threat to raze Ponyville if we bowed to you still applies?" Cheerilee joked.
I snorted and shook my head. "I guess it can't anymore, but I'll be irked if you guys do it. The rest of the kids at school, too. They know me too well to bow to me."
That didn't change the fact that Pinkie Pie was flat on her face, her forelegs making bowing motions in front of me. "You're the princess of cake now, TD." Pinkie raised her head and looked up at me with wide eyes. "Do you know that the Cakes already have pictures of you all over the store?! They even put a picture of you next to Pound and Pumpkin's crib so that you could watch over them at night!"
My ears flattened and an uncomfortable look crossed my face. "Uh... really?"
Pinkie stood up with a giggle. "Nah, I'm just kidding. I talked them out of that last one. I told them you'd think it was weird."
"Do I ever," I muttered under my breath.
"Oh but you must tell us how you are feeling, darling!" Rarity said as she used her magic to make sure my mane and regalia was on just right. "This must be nerve-wracking."
I groaned and rubbed one of my temples, something harder to do with hooves. "You have absolutely no idea. I don't think that I'd feel this nervous for my wedding. That's pledging my life to somebody I love. This is me promising to rule over an entire nation as part of a quadarchy, or whatever the heck this is.
Twilight chuckled and put a hoof on my shoulder. "I'm sure you'll do fine, TD." She inclined her head to the door. "We're here to give you moral support. They're waiting for you."
Any comfort that their presence gave me evaporated for a moment, but it returned when the Crusaders hugged my legs again. I took another deep breath and nodded. "Okay. Let's do this."
I opened up the door where Captain Blaze and Lieutenant Rapids were waiting for me.
"Princess Celestia has asked me to inform you that we are to escort you to the throne room. After that, you will address your new subjects on the main balcony above it."
"Thank you, captain." I inclined my head and began following the two of them towards the throne room. As we walked, I leaned in next to Twilight. "Twilight? You can... you can bow out if you want, no pun intended. I get that this can't be easy for you."
Twilight's smile faltered slightly, but she shook her head all the same. "TD, I'm here for you. I know that you didn't ask for this, but I'm going to help you every way that I can. You're going to be fine."
I was about to respond, but Lieutenant Rapids cut me off with a snort. "Sheesh, get a room why don't you?"
Twilight's smile turned into a glower, but I shook my head at her with my own smile. "I'll explain later." She shot Lieutenant Rapids an uneasy glance, but she seemed to accept that I knew what the deal was.
Before I could think of anything else, we were at the throne room doors. My two officers directed my entourage to flank me: five on one side, five on the other. They opened the doors and the procession entered the throne room to the sound of trumpets blaring triumphant music. I would have picked The Imperial March personally, but what are you gonna do? Celestia didn't even consider for a moment allowing me to pick stuff like that. Not after how I had handled my guard creation.
As practiced, I went up to the throne alone, where Celestia, Luna, and Cadance were waiting for me. On top of a pillow resting on my simple golden throne was a golden tiara a little larger than Luna's but the same kind of style. The three of them bowed to me, and I returned it with my own bow as tradition supposedly dictated. Celestia then said a few words to the small crowd of ponies that I didn't really listen to. The whole thing was kind of a blur, and none of her words made it in. It's like my brain was still trying to process everything that was happening now that it was actually happening. I'm just glad that my brain figured everything out in time for my part.
"Antares, do you accept these responsibilities laid out before you? Do you vow to lead the ponies of Equestria with a just hoof, to watch over them and protect them, to ensure their safety and happiness to the best of your abilities?"
"Yes. I do."
Celestia nodded and ignited her horn. She lifted the pillow up and levitated it in front of me. Luna can Cadance ignited their own horns, and together they lifted the tiara into the air and placed it on my head.
"I crown thee Princess Antares, fourth ruler of Equestria and the princess of snark, sarcasm, foal services, education and..." Celestia faltered slightly, but it was noticeable enough. She recovered just as quickly. "... Pastries."
The second Celestia was done speaking, the crowd burst out into wild applause. This was it. I was a princess now.
*Sigh.* Yay for me.
I put on my best serene smile and waved to the crowd behind me. Celestia beckoned me onwards, and we ascended the stairs to the balcony overlooking the city of Baltimare. I was thankful that the others followed me up too. I needed their support. When we reached the edge of the balcony, I was greeted with the sight and sound of what must have been tens of thousands of ponies, all chanting my name and singing my praises. There were so many of them that I couldn't even see the edge of the crowd. It made sense, of course. I was a new princess, and they wanted to be there when the new princess was crowned.
Celestia subtly cast a voice amplifying spell on me, and I walked to the very edge of the balcony alone. I raised my hoof, and the crowd quieted down. Naturally the speech I had in my head evaporated as if it was never there at all, but I had to say something, of course.
"Hello and thank you all for coming out to see me today." The crowd cheered again, and I let them for a few moments. I also waited for the wave of flashbulbs ceased before continuing. "I just want to say how honored I am that you're all supporting me. This is... new for both of us, but you all seem to want to make it smooth for all of us." I took a deep breath as even improvised words left me. "Uh... so..."
Now, normally saying the first thing that pops into my head is a recipe for disaster. It leads to bad things most of the time. What I sad next was arguably one of those things, but I still regard it as one of my better decisions.
"There have been rumors floating around that I used to be the human known as TD before I came to be in this form. I know that not everybody knew that the human was around, but it became news both during the incident at the last Gala and when the rumors began going around that the human had become an alicorn princess. So, are the rumors true that I used to be human and now I'm one of the four princesses? Yes. Yes they are."
A loud gasp echoed throughout the crowd, and I didn't have to look to see that the ponies behind me on the balcony were just as shocked that I had told everybody that. Sure my guard knew, but the damage was done as far as the public was concerned.
I raised my hoof again, and the chattering died down. "Yes. It's true. Through means that I'm not at liberty to share, I ascended to become Princess Antares. I know that this must be a shock to you all, but know this: I just made a vow to protect and lead you to the best of my abilities. I'm not going to go back on that because I used to be human. I made a vow to serve the ponies of Equestria, and I'm going to do just that!"
The crowd erupted into full-blown cheering upon hearing that. I waved out to all of them for a few moments before walking back towards the rest of the ponies on the balcony, all of whom were beaming at me. I returned their smiles with a tired one of my own.
"I must admit, TD, I never thought that revealing your past would benefit you, but I think that your subjects will trust you more now that you have been honest with them," said Celestia. Her smile faded slightly. "I do not miss the irony that you are sometimes wiser than I."
I chuckled slightly, but I glanced over at Twilight. "Uh, you guys go on ahead to the reception. I want to have a talk with Twilight before I go, okay?"
The others gave me curious expressions, but didn't question me. I led Twilight to small room where I knew we wouldn't be disturbed by anyone else in the palace. I shut the door behind us, and turned around to see her looking sadly at me. "I know what you're going to say, so you might as well not say it."
I closed my eyes with a sigh and shook my head. "I can't imagine that was easy for you." I motioned to myself. "This. This is your destiny. Not mine." I opened my eyes and almost instinctively ran a hoof through my mane before remembering that I still had a reception to go to. "You know I never wanted this, but do you know why I actually accepted the offer to become royalty?"
Twilight's sad look faded, and was replaced by one of curiosity. She shook her head. "I have to admit that I did wonder. You never struck me as the kind of guy who would want this."
"And I'm not," I admitted, "but it's because I took this from you, however accidentally, that I decided to do this. I feel that it would be an insult to you if I was given what was yours, but just threw it away. In hindsight we both know that Celestia has been preparing for this for a while, but with you. If I ignored that, I'd almost feel like I'd be disrespecting you.
"But that's only one reason." I took a step forward and put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Now that I'm royalty, I have access to resources that I would have never been able to get otherwise. I promise you that I will find a way to reverse this. I'll take my simple job in Ponyville, thank you very much. I'll find a way to give you your destiny back."
Twilight sighed and flattened her ears. "TD, you don't need to do that. You're a princess now. You have a responsibility to lead your new subjects."
"Would you have preferred that it was you who was hit by the Elements? Don't you want your destiny back?"
Twilight's moment of silence told me all that I needed to know. I took my hoof off of her shoulder and nodded. "I'm going to try to make it happen, Twilight. I know that you don't want to upset everything that's happened, but... can I at least try?"
Twilight looked back up at me, her eyes wide and brimming with tears. "I don't hate or resent you, TD. I know that you didn't want this to happen. But..." She looked back down to the floor again. "I-if you want to try, I don't suppose I could stop you." A wry smile crossed her face. "You're too stubborn to allow me to just order you to not do this."
I chuckled and nodded. "Well, you're absolutely right. I can't promise that I'll succeed, but I'm going to try to get you your destiny back."
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Another update. Goodbye sleep.
I do not really care about seeing a chapter with him in heat to be honest.
I think you can manage to create a nice chapter without that aswell.
Ah, if only you knew...
Don't care too much to see TD go into heat myself. Some laughs to be had I suppose, but then it would just fade away and not go anywhere.
~Have a good one.
I'd be hilarious to see him in heat, if you did it right. ONLY.
It can end either hilariously well, or it could be THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING.
Re the author's note: yes and no. I'd like to see the problem come up, and a creatively snarcastic lateral-thinking solution resolve it without leading to something "Antares" would find mortifying or mentally scarring.
... *winks at the author with a grin*
Tony Stark? 'Zat you? XD
Not really, I think you could create another fine chapter without heat
Revealing himself to everyone? Looks like someone was watching Iron Man. As for seeing T.D going into heat . . . part of me says no that would be just creepy but the other part of me is saying 'He should do it, what's the worse that could happen?' while giving Murphy's law the middle finger.
... is that really something you want to see?
Have you been on the internet?! Having that mental image is mild in comparison with the other....desires others might have.
In any case, yes...yes I would like to see him go through that little,uhm, event.
... A chapter depicting a guy-turned-mare in heat.
Get that shit outside and nuke it.
troll.me/images/over-9000/his-trolling-level-is-over-9000-thumb.jpg
You are wrong, Luna. Antares is the new best princess.
Also, I wonder how Night Stalker, Raining Skies, and very specially Shining Armor really feel about being tactically and soundly defeated by an ex-human with no military or strategy experience.
I'm fine with it just being alluded to, but I wouldn't have a problem with you doing something with the idea providing it was funny enough.
On the other hand, I'd also imagine that if you did run with the idea the result would probably end up being similar to that one side-story in the original. Would it add anything new? I'm not sure.
3179299
If this is a self insert then isn't TD calling himself a sadist?
3179448 I'm pretty sure that this isn't a "self-insert", due to the fact that TD isn't a Brony.
actualy it would be kinda funny if you were to crossover this story into wandering of a non brony just think about it TD meeting Princess TD the lolz would just right them selves probably or they would probably insult Celestia so it would be a win win situation
Actually…nope…nope, let me re frase that…Oh HELL NO…I don't want to see that…what I want to see is him succeeding in descending a become human again or at least became male again
Even if TD manages to do the impossible and convince the Elements into transfering his/her alicorn status to Twilight, what about the crown? I don´t know how Equestria´s political system works, but if Antares is already a full-fledged princess with her own staff and duties, can she/he simply walks on a revolving door and say "Ok, guys, I quit. Now Twi is the new boss in charge. Treat her nice"?
I think TD going through heat would be hilarious.
I want to see how people would react when TD becomes a male alicorn.
Also. He finds a method to give Twilight her destiny back, but it means 2 things. First he stays an alicorn. Second he marries Twilight.
Seeing how TD would deal with going into heat would certainly be interesting, but seems like it would take up more than a few chapters. I guess length would depend on how seriously you treated it or if you just played it for laughs.
Looks like you dropped a T.
*grabs popcorn*
LET THE HILARITY COMMENCE!
Hmm, the prospect of TD in heat you say?
That sounds hilarious!
If TD is supposed to be an Alpha Alicorn like Celestia & Luna, then if he went into Heat it would need to be explained if they do too, how they handle it & why they didn't warn him about it.
I suppose the last could be them just having a little joke at his expense, depending on just how severe the Heat is supposed to be. Anything more than just getting a little Hot & Bothered is something that might go beyond a joking matter & could reflect negatively on Royalty as a whole.
"...I mentioned The Imperial March in this chapter. If you don't know what that is..."
What do you mean? Do you believe in existence of people who do not know what 'The Imperial March' is? I'm confused.
Too much Iron Man
yes i wouldnt mind seeing how he would deal with it. oh i could just imagine all the innuendos
3179901 You'd be surprised. I took an acting class over the summer and more than half of the students had never seen Star Wars.
*sniff* You've taught them well.
*slow clap* That would have been perfect...
3179298>>3179346>>3179354>>3179359>>3179363>>3179378>>3179393>>3179397>>3179399>>3179434>>3179593>>3179681>>3179683>>3179704>>3179835>>3179929 Okay, so you all have your perspective on him going into heat, what did you think about the rest of the chapter?
3180142 i especially loved the fact that he pulled one over on everyone else...
The feels are kinda sad though for him and twilight
I'm...having a little trouble with this story. The concept was fun and I was hooked after a great first few chapters. And I'm still enjoying it. But a lot of the characters and character interactions have made declining sense as the story has unfolded. Many scenes make sense in isolation, but not in the context of the story as a whole. For example:
Here, Celestia is frustrated that TD's interactions did not follow according to her plan. But what expectation did she have that he would follow her plan? The two of them had no explicit agreement on the direction his interactions would take. She knows that he has a mischievous streak. Maybe she was reflexively expecting her authority to be respected?
Oh, yeah. Those.
Or how about this?
Does that make any sense when you consider this?
Yes I understand, disrespecting the office, yada yada...except that TD never explicitly accepted political authority before being railroaded into it. After all:
That was the last he really had to say on the matter prior to to Cadence' explosion and the railroad job of declaring him Princess of Snark and Sarcasm. And after that whirlwind, all he had to say was:
Some ringing endorsement.
Also, this:
Something akin to this should really have happened before he attended court. Or possibly during the conference. Much of what happens in chapters four and five would be much better explained if we knew that he was going along with the whole princess thing out of respect for Twilight. Many behaviors on behalf of the other princesses would be better explained if he had given a more direct acceptance of his new political role. The two could have been self-supporting. Imagine if, during the conference (some time after Luna interpreted "Uh... okay, I guess..." as official acceptance of titles) he began to argue the point about the necessity of putting him in political position again, before deciding then that he would do it in honor of Twilight. It would make a lot of later actions make a lot more sense.
Speaking of the necessity of putting him in political position, we still don't have any idea why the existing princesses were so dead-set on it. The closest we ever got to an explanation was this:
This works as an explanation for why he can't expect to disappear again into quiet life in Ponyville. It doesn't explain why he needs to be placed in political authority. Honestly, the best reason I can come up with for why it's so important is that the existing princesses are bound and determined to keep up the alicorn = princess equation for reasons of their own authority and/or plans, and they're afraid to tell TD that because he would go ballistic. Actually that would explain a lot...
Anyway, I want to reiterate that I'm still enjoying myself with this story and you haven't lost me. I just had to vent some of the issues I'd been having with it.
3180142 I found the chapter to be wonderful. As always, TD never ceases to cause me cause me much enjoyment.
That being said, that part at the end with him/her and Twilight, yeah, I love those parts too, because it gives a realistic feel to not only TD, but our beloved ponies as well.
3180142 as in the rest of this chapter? or the chapter that might have him in heat and shinanigins insue?
3180142
I like it, finally TD manage to get back at Luna for the spine incident and he totally own them, I think it will be hilarious if now turns up that his royal guards are the best they are in military perspective because it will be more than impossible to take information will trip the enemy and they are not slackers in strategy. Yeah from the looks of things they seem almost invisible, I want to see Chrysalis trying to sneak on him with that kind of defense
Like always: awesome chapter!
Is it odd that I have head canon for a fanfic? In my mind this and TD's little Rarity fit in one storyline, and Wanderings fits with the original. (Yes, I avoided the word main. I enjoy Wanderings, but vastly prefer this continuity.)
THE LULZ MUST FLOW!
If TD is going through the whole Princess thing for Twilight's sake that could explain why he's not calling out the Alicorn = Princess equation that appears to be ingrained into Equestria.
The question is how much help the Princesses are willing to give him to give Twilight her Destiny back. In their view, would TD giving up his crown (for whatever reason) shake the power structure?
Oh dear, TD already punched one god-like being as a human, so now as a goddess himself.... RUN BRONY WRITER! Before he escapes and teams up with the other TDs to come break your legs!
As for the heat? Both want and don't want, depends on the type. If it makes him either hump crazy, just lusty, indifferent as he deals with the body issues or as a one off joke mentioned as a passing comment, it just depends on the set up and execution. Mainly yes, if you skip the horror ones, so that puts it from indifferent to mild.... "desires". This is a comedy and as interesting as it could be with dark humour, I really don't want TD like that to the extremes. The body horror that will appear will kill the light hearted nature for me and that won't leave my mind for the rest of this story.
On a side note, I bet the guards get bored with the snark dealing so they begin repeating themselves as an auto response to unimportant or uninteresting people. Cue the whole Skyrim "every guard says the same thing" effect. (Luna goes crazy, kills 8 of them and reloads a save.)
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Awsome...enough said
I liked this chapter. I thought it funny that celestia couldn't tell an entire army was around her.
Lol I wish every guard would pull stuff like that xD
TD can't go back to his other form anymore. He accepted the title and is now a fully fledged princess. Like some others said before me. He can't just quit being a ruler. The fallout of him ruling in equestria as a human is enormous. Every other nation would probably want one of their own kind ruling in equestria aswell. Thus unbalancing the system.
Oh, and TD in heat would probably take to long to explain.
3180142 Well done. Very well done.
3180142 Well, the part about TD getting the upper hand on, what? Three Princesses, a Prince and three Guard Captains? Beautiful. Seriously, that part had me grinning a solid ten minutes. Also shows the difference between TD and ponies - D'ya think Twilight'd pull off a prank like that?
Coronation was well written, plus I'm pretty sure that TD's now got more supporters for his army.
Bottom line? Pretty damn good chapter, like the rest of what I've read of your work.
Also, Imperial March. Shoulda happened.
That video was too perfect
Not sure if fourth wall breach...
I think you're trying to say that if the TD didn't wear a dress, it would be awkward if the other princesses did wear them. Just pointing that out.
Other than that, good chapter. Loved the part about the Cake's store. I think TD is beginning to realize that princess of cake was biting off more than he could chew! (get it? *:bad joke cheerilee:*)
I wonder what his/her first decree will be...No royal duties b4 9:00 am?
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this. and needs artwork.