“Mummy, there's a changeling in my closet.”
“Good to know, princess,” Dad said from behind his newspaper. Big Brother snorted into his cereal, causing the milk to splash up onto his face.
“It's not funny. I bet you don't even know what a changeling is.”
Big Brother Tom paused for a moment. He searched the inside of his head but found, surprisingly, very little. He looked back down at the cereal, hoping for an answer or inspiration of some sort.
“Of course I do,” he lied. “I bet you don't though!”
“Well, it's a thingy that does things. Things that change. Or it changes things. Yeah, that's it,” Sophia explained the best she could.
Big Brother hadn't thought of that. He made a quick mental note but it was likely that it would soon be forgotten.
“Do you know what a changeling is, Mum?” Mum had kept very quiet, still tired from last night. The lazy levels around this house were quite staggering Sophia had noticed.
“Hmm? Oh, I'm not sure I do, darling.”
“Well how would you suggest fighting a huge bug-thing? Or any bugs really.”
“Guns. Lots of guns.” Tom popped up from his breakfast again. “Plasma rifles, rocket launchers and a lightsaber if you have one of those lying around.” He then leaned in and whispered: “I do.”
Sophia ignored him as she so often did.
“Well, there's some stuff in the shed but I wouldn't suggest using them on your toys,” Mum said.
Toys? Oh come on, Mum.
“Oh it's okay, I'm sure they won't mind. I'll fix them up if things go wrong,” Sophia reassured, still in disbelief at Mum's comment.
Really? Was a huge bug in her closet that hard a thing to believe?
***
“Night, princess. No playing with your toys now; go get some rest.”
Mum closed the door.
Right then.
Sophia leaned over and looked at the things she'd stashed under the bed. She hadn't gone too excessive just yet. She didn't want to kill the poor thing – just keep it away from playtime!
So the chainsaw and lawnmower had been left safely back in the shed.
The insecticide, however? That was most certainly on the menu tonight. She held the dastardly can in her hand and rotated it slowly, looking at the labels.
Oh yes. Oh yes indeed.
Sophia wasn't too sure how well it held up against changelings (or whatever that thing was), but it did just fine on those pesky ants.
It didn't matter: whatever happened, Spike would be there to protect her. Oh and screaming for Mum as a last resort. There was just no way that this queen bug was gonna win!
She was holding all the cards! Well, at least she was when she played card games with Spike. His claws were so weak that she had to hold his cards too, as well as her own.
Sophia brought out another can of the stuff and gave one to Spike to double their fire-power.
“Okay, Spike. I want you to fire on sight. Show her no sympathy. Got that?”
This is Comrade Spike and I hear you loud and clear.
“Good thinking, Spike,” Sophia said, reaching for some sunglasses for him to wear as well as a cap. “Now you look the part, too.”
*knock knock*
“She's pretty polite now I think about it,” Sophia whispered to Spike. “Knocking and all.” She then raised her can and aimed at the door.
A low-pitched laugh emanated from the closet's insides. It grew progressively louder, and less muffled, until it was a harsh, ear-piercing, cackle.
“Well now child, it's time to face your fears!” Chrysalis screeched.
She emerged fully from the closet, still in her changeling form, before stopping, and surveying her surroundings. The bedside lamp was on, allowing her to the see the child in plain sight.
She was holding something and was perched happily at the furthest end of the bed.
“Is this the best swarm you could assemble? I had expected something a little more–” she paused, having trouble finding the appropriate words “– well a little more, in fact. You do realise I was the one who breached Canterlot of all places. Your defences are nothing!”
But Sophia wasn't fazed. She sprung upwards from the bed, landing on her two feet and holding the can outstretched in front of her.
“Spike, FIRE!” she yelled. Pulling the trigger, she waved the can around wildly, directing the spray at the insect-thing's face.
Queen Chrysalis watched on as the compressed gas didn't even make it to her. The particles fizzled out well before they could even reach her; she found herself laughing again, almost completely hidden by the spray. She even faked a few screeches of pain and jerking movements for fun.
Sophia's own battle cries drowned out the laughter and she was ignorant to the fact that the insecticide hadn't made an impact.
When the can was completely empty, she waited for the air to become clear again, and admired her work.
Nothing.
Oh.
Well that didn't work, Spike chipped in from beside her.
“I guess I should have got the extreme version,” Sophia said as she saw the spray disappear some way off from the still-laughing bug-monster.
“My turn.”
Chrysalis reared her head and aimed the black, twisted horn in Sophia's direction. It began to glow green as it drew energy from the changeling.
“Quick, Spike. Think of something!” Sophia looked desperately at her trusted dragon who was still lazily reclining on the pillow, can in claw.
Yeah, this is too heavy for me to lift.
“Oh Spike, you're a genius!” Sophia exclaimed as she thought up a plan.
She reached for the can and in one swift motion, hurled it at the changeling's head.
Sophia had only intended to stun it, or even give it a bruise at the most. But the can struck the creature directly on the lowered horn and was impaled on it.
With the can punctured, the high-pressurised gas inside was instantly released. Energised by the magic built up on the gangly horn, it exploded violently.
The contents sprayed in the shocked queen's face and she reeled back as the toxic substance came into contact with her skins and eyes. The metal casing had vanished too: disintegrated completely via the energy from the magic horn.
Sophia thought she'd throw the empty can at her too for good measure. It hit her square in the jaw and she yowled in pain, struggling to cope with all this damage at once in numerous places.
It felt like acid on her skin, and her eyes started to go red and puffy.
Sophia looked on at the mass destruction, now safely from the covers of her comfy bed.
“You little brat! Insolent creature!” Chrysalis yelled between splutters as some of it got into her mouth.
“Ssh, you'll wake up Mum!” Sophia shouted in disgust. She then put a hand by her mouth and whispered: “She has loads more of that stuff.”
That did it for Chrysalis.
Staggering back to the door, she gave more empty threats and curses to the little girl. She decided that when she returned to the hive, she'd probably kill off a few changelings to vent her rage. Then perhaps weaponise whatever had exploded in her face to use on hapless ponies.
“I'll admit, you won this round. Saviour this victory, for it will be your last.” Chrysalis gave one last laugh before she shut the door, it trailing off into more splutters.
“Yes! Playtime's back!” Sophia gave Spike a tight hug and began dancing up and down along on the bed in glee.
Spike was perhaps a little more restrained in his victory dance. But Sophia knew that behind his stoic expression he was near-exploding with excitement.
“Oh no you don't Spike, I'm still rescuing that princess from you!”
She grabbed her torch and toys and went under the covers.
“Right, now where were we? Ah, yes. Take this you foul be-”
The covers were suddenly torn off and Sophia and Spike looked upwards in shock.
“Enough is enough – some of us are trying to sleep! Give me the toys now. Oh and open the window! What did you spray in here?”
Sophia scowled.
Of all the nights she had to pick this one. Of all the nights!
I don't think small child could handle lawnmower to do something to Chrysalis
2912047 Yeah, I guess you're right. I don't even know how that would go down, but probably not well. Glad she decided not to if I'm honest.
Then again, it would be fascinating to watch
I thought it was going to be Chrysalis vs. Chainsaw. VRRRMMM-MR-MR-MRRRRR
Oh, come on, I'm sure you can make a better pun than that. This one just doesn't cut it.
It needs to be chopped down to size.
Clip it up a bit.
Rev up the cheese.
I could go on, but we'd be going round and round with them..
2912206 Haha, I didn't even do that intentionally.
Wait, what am I saying? Of course I did!
(I didn't)
this feels so much like Calvin and Hobbes, I love it! I wonder if Sophia gets in trouble for Spike eating all of the "gems" from her toy jewelry.
for the lawnmower Sophia could be too small to hold the handles with the mower part facing the ground, propping it up and revealing the spinning blade of death to Chrysalis, she gets spooked at a child wielding something so sinister that she retreats before she can notice that Sophie cant really push it anywhere. (how she gets it into her room unnoticed is another story)
2912954 Yeah I initially threw that line in as a joke but the way you've said it, it could happen. Could.
I feel that once I've started to run out of ideas (won't be for a long time hehe), I might make it a bit more open for you guys to give suggestions (if you want, obviously).
I can't hold any guarantees that I'll include them though (will definitely give credit if I do). So for now, I'll just my use own ideas and see where it takes this.
"Oooohh but that would have made things more interesting."
Me: "No Pinkie, No. No encouraging children to attack Chrysilas with gardening tools. Its bad enough she accidently figured out how to make a gas grenade."(even if she doesn't know that she did.)
Another fun chapter to read, can't wait for the next one. Keep up the good work. :D
Chemical Warfare is Magic!
Why didn't the ponies think of this? Tho, it would've made a much shorter episode. Hmm.
So when does Sophie channel the spirit of Macaulay Culkin and set traps for Chryssy and her inept Changeling 'army' (just one) around the house while the parents are off an overseas-trip?
Hooves have zero traction on marbles and hardwood floors... and the following flight of stair steps.
Owch.
While she might not have a fire extinguisher to combat a magic blast, a can of whipped cream will do in a pinch to stop the charging up of a horn and simultaniously blind the Changeling.
Augh, my eyes! Oh Celestia, it's in my mouth too! I can taste it! -oh... mmm. Yum.
And even hovering while opening the door won't alert someling to the bucket of icky goop balanced precariously on top of said door (goop brought to you by the fine makers of GAKtm products).
The Smoose has returned! Flee!
Do you know how hard it is to kill something with a lawnmower? It's not easy. Hay, it can't even kill grass correctly. Little buggers just sprout right back up
Be freaking funny if her dad walked in one night holding a half-drunk cup of tea the kid's mother made him drink and then he does the back-and-forth look from Chrysalis to the tea, and then he walks out and dumps it down the sink.
2919351 :S I thought we were beyond that joke lol
Oh who am I kidding? It will never get old.
2919403 I have thought about potential family interference one night. Would be interesting to see how each would react in that situation.
Especially the brother...
2919433
Well, how about a slumber-party she has with a few friends?
Say...two or three. That same night, Chryssy plots to bring along several minions and capture the kid for future 'mining' as well. But instead she thinks that the child has prepared an army of her own. Pillow fight ensues.
Sophia: 1
Chryssalis: 0
I hate to be "that guy," but...First, unless Chrysalis has skilled healing mages in her Hive (or pours lots of water in her eyes right away), that's going to blind her...And second, exploding aerosol cans send metal shrapnel EVERYWHERE! The results of that shouldn't have been funny, they should've been gory...^_^;
2938159 Well she probably has superior healing abilities available, and she's not as fragile as a human, so going blind at this stage probably won't happen. That's not to say she'll make a perfect recovery though...
As for the shrapnel, I understand what you're saying but this is meant to be not very serious or perhaps think too much about these potentially gory consequences. That being said, I'll read over and make it more accurate/realistic when I have time.
Oh, no, I understand this is meant to be a comedy, and gore has no place in it. (Well, usually...) Nor was I trying to push you to change anything. I was just saying I thought it a bit silly that a cloud of bug spray was the only result. ^_^; Oh, I'm LOVING Cracked Vision, by the way! Can't wait for another chapter!
I've selected "read later", so I haven't read it yet, but I have to say one thing:
The very title made me laugh my ass off!
2938159 Rule of Funny, chap. Just sit back and laugh already.
All these lawnmower comments reminded me of this video:
Let's hope Sophia's dad is nothing like that or things could get messy.
Everyone wants you out the closet.
Chrysalis: That doesn't matter cause I'm gonna stay.
Sophie: Now I'm starting to get angry. SO I PULL OUT MY GUN!