- Somewhere in the Everfree Forest. Midnight.
Zecora was meditating in her hut, in front of her the fire was glowing in every color possible. The spirits of nature where anxious, some of the most ancients seals just disappeared seven nights ago. Now the magic in all Equus was in its primal form, some words without meaning before were now powerful again, the spells that sealed ancient evils beyond the wildest imagination weren't there anymore. The shaman zebra opened her eyes and saw in the deep of fire how this changes affected the world.
Somewhere in the austral fields of ice, a helmet made out of gold that withstood the test of time recovered its old magic, becoming an infinite source of knowledge. Inside a temple hidden from the rest of the world a black diamond that served as a prison was now a conduct for a spirit of vengeance and destruction. On her old homeland in the deeps of a forgotten jungle an old piece of cloth abandoned there was now the bringer of nine lives. Within the hidden chambers of Canterlot in an altar dedicated to the old world an armor from a time previous to Discord and two swords blessed and cursed by heaven and hell equally were now powerful again.
A soft breeze distraught Zecora from her visions as a tall pony with wings and a horn entered to her home, she had a crown an a necklace made of a blue and black metal as her mane looked as the night sky. Princess Luna greeted the zebra as she asked if she could come in.
"Greetings my princess of noc, welcome to my humble home." Zecora raised from her spot and knelt before the alicorn.
"There's no need for such formalities. After all, your family had served me in a way that I will never thank enough." Luna declared as she sat in front of the zebra.
"The legacy of the night is a honor I will say. To watch the magic through its way." Zecora said as she sat down too.
"Then I assume that you are aware of the recent events."
"The spirits of the jungle and the stars from the sky. Had warned me about a new age of might."
"Then I ask you, not only as my counselor but also as my friend. What do you think about this?"
Zecora looked again in the fire as it returned to its normal colors, then to her tiki masks and then to the Princess again.
"In this case there is a lot of side vectors. For our land we will need protectors."
A thunder roared in the distance as an announcement of the coming storm.
***
- Ponyville. The next day.
The First Bank of Ponyville was the insignia building of the new Equestrian Urbanization Program in Ponyville and also its pride. With a design that showed the same architectonic style of the new buildings back in Canterlot, it was presented as unbreakable. The security was composed of the last new recruits of the Royal Guard who were sent to serve in Ponyville as guards of the new Government buildings. They were fresh from the camp and ready to prove themselves to the world.
But the world had something else to say.
A car was now racing through Ponyville's streets, inside were a trio of pegasus celebrating they victory.
"Dude, did you saw their faces?" The only stallion asked to the mare in the back seat. "They couldn't believe they were being robed." He was now looking at a bag of bits and some newly printed money papers, but his companion was staring in a serious face.
"You idiot, they almost catch us, you were supposed to wait for us in the car." She was clearly angered. "If it were not for Air Wave here, who at least know how to react quickly, we would be in our way to Canterlot's dungeons"
"Could you calm down?" The stallion now responded. "I was bored, and you two were taking so long. When I entered you were still waiting for the money."
"Will you two shut up?" The mare at the wheel shouted now. "We have at least three PPD in our back and I need to concentrate and..." But she was interrupted by the stallion.
"Look, over there." He pointed at the front of the car, there was an unicorn mare in the middle of the road. "What's she doing?" But there was no time, they were heading at the mare at full speed. When the car crashed the unicorn it stopped right there, sending its three passengers through the windshield
Sweetie Belle sighed as she approached the crashed pegasus in the floor as she spoke.
"You should be more careful. You know? Speed limits and seat belts are there for a reason." Her metallic voice did nothing but scare the three ponies in the ground. "And rob a bank? That doesn't seems nice neither."
"S-Stay away." The stallion was now holding his gun. "I will shot if you come closer!" But Sweetie Belle didn't stop, so the pegasus pulled the trigger and a bullet bounced in the unicorn's head.
"Now that was rude."
- Cutie Mark Crusaders's Club House. Later that day.
"You didn't." Apple Bloom was amazed by the tale.
"Yes she did."Scootaloo was about to laugh.
"Against a car?" The changeling pony still couldn't believe it.
"Yes she did." Her bandaged friend repeated in a singsong voice.
"I did it." Sweetie Belle finally responded. "And I would do it again."
"Sweetie." Apple Bloom started. "You can just go an stand in front of a car. The police..."
"Thanked me for the asistance." The mechanical pony assured.
"That's not the point. When you show off like that." But she stopped for a second. "It feels good. Doesn't?"
"Like hiding Diamond Tiara's tiara." She was now showing a wide open smile.
"And it was awesome. The reporters even put a picture of her on the front page." Scootaloo was now showing a newspaper in front of her.
"They took pictures?" Apple Bloom was amazed again.
"Just one of her standing next to the destroyed car." The energized pony's eyes were now glowing from behind her goggles. "Now tell us how did you punched the robber in the face after that."
Sweetie Belle was now standing on her hind legs. "It was something like this."
- Carousel Boutique. That afternoon.
"You did WHAT?!" Rarity almost suffered a heart attack right there after her sister told her what happened in the center that same morning.
"Calm down Rarity, I'm perfectly fine" Assured Sweetie Belle. But the white unicorn wasn't very happy of her little filly sister standing in front of a car, receiving a bullet and fighting a dangerous criminal.
"You are just a filly." She was now about to fall on her couch. Twilight accompanied Sweetie Belle to help her to tell her sister. She approached to her friend and told her.
"I was there too and I saw it. She didn't get a scratch." She put a friendly hoof on her friends shoulder. "Also Pinkamena told us that she was now almost invulnerable."
"And four days ago I managed to defeat that monster that attacked Ponyville." Sweetie Belle added.
"That's different. It was an emergency and you received help. But you shouldn't risk in that way every time." Rarity was calming down. A little.
"But Rarity."
"No buts. Look Sweetie, I'm proud of you. I'm also proud that you decided to use your 'gift' to help others." Now she looked directly to her sister's eyes. It was like looking to a pair of cameras, but behind the glass and gear she still could saw a little defenseless filly. "But you can't just jump in front of a car and expect me not to worry." Now Sweetie Belle was looking down to the floor. "So the next time it happens you will make sure to help in a less dangerous way." Rarity concluded in a softer tone. "Now go to your room and finish your homework." Sweetie Belle smiled as she saw that her sister was smiling at her.
"Yes Rarity, I will do it now." And she went upstairs making some mechanical noises. Rarity sighed as she saw Twilight in front of her. She indicated to the purple unicorn to follow her to the kitchen. They sat at the table as Rarity put a teapot on the fire, then she spoke.
"Tell me again how she ended in front of a bank robbers car."
"I was on a store buying some paper and ink when we encountered. She accompanied me to the library, but before that she stopped for no reason. I asked her what was wrong and she looked to a car that was racing down the street. Before I could understand what was happening she was in front of the car and smashed it to stop it." Twilight concluded her tale.
"Those digital hears, she's like a sonar." She commented. "The other night I lost a nail on the floor and she managed to find it by looking in the direction where she heard it hit the ground." Rarity was in a calmer mod now she was serving the tea.
"Rarity she's fine. There is nothing wrong with her. It just that now she's a little bit different." Twilight tried to comfort her friend.
"She's not the one with the problem." Rarity responded. "It's me who is nervous with this. The sounds she make when she moves, the metallic skin, the visible articulations. I will need some time to get used to that. She's also growing, she talks about being a hero to help others. I don't know what to do." She then started to drink her tea.
"You know? You're not the only one with that problem. Applejack still can't process the image of her sister eating meat and also Rainbow Dash has some troubles getting used to Scootaloo being a walking thunderbolt." Twilight told her. "Maybe you three should talk about it. I'm sure you will feel better after speaking out loud what bothers you with somepony with similar problems."
Rarity looked to her friend as she raised from her spot. "This night would be good." was her answer.
- Sweet Apple Acres. Later that night.
"...and there she was stepping in the ceiling upside down as she was some kind of spider. Apparently the changelings can walk in walls and ceilings like bugs." Applejack concluded her story. She, Rainbow Dash and Rarity were in the kitchen as CMC's were upstairs in Apple Bloom's room. The three were now relaxing by letting things out. Rainbow already told them the problems she had when Scootaloo accidentally charged every cloud on her house into a storm cloud, now Rarity told them the events of that morning.
"Ah can assure ya that she was only doing what she though that was right." Applejack opened a bottle of cider. "Mah Bloom also has been doing stuff like that too. The other day we were at the town's new market when an old lady was having trouble with her cat trapped in a tree." She drank some cider. "The next thing ah know is that Apple Bloom is flying to catch the animal and bring it down"
"Yeah, Scoot is doing it too. Applejack pass me a bottle." Applejack gave the cyan pegasus a bottle of cider. "Thank you. As I was saying, yesterday she was learning to use her wings with the bandages on as some guys were testing one of those new copters or so. Then the vehicle started to malfunction and one of the ponies inside felt from it. I managed to catch the dude when the whole thing started to fall, but Scootaloo took off her bandages and quick as a lightning she pulled out the other two guys before the thing hit the ground." Then she took a long drink of cider.
They spent the next hour talking how they little sisters weren't fillies anymore, not only in appearance but they also changed for the better as they were now trying to do their best for helping others, then they finally concluded that since they could do things that the rest of the ponies could only dream about then they should decide if they were going to support or restrain this desire.
Upstairs a more lighthearted discussion was taking place.
"What about the Avengers?" Scootaloo suggested.
"And what we would avenging?" Sweetie Belle rejected the idea. "What do you think of the Freedom Fighters?"
"But Equestria is a free country already." Now Apple Bloom didn't like the idea. "What do you think of the Justice League of Equestria?" But her both friends weren't sure about if they liked it.
"I don't know, we're not too many ponies to make a league." Sweetie Belle responded. "Although the name sounds cool." added Scootaloo.
"So Legion of Super-Heroes is out to the table too?" Scootaloo nodded but Sweetie Belle looked to the window.
"Shush. Did you guys heard that?" The other two shocked their heads. "It sounds like there is a fire on the other side of the town."
"We should go and help with it." Apple Bloom stated as she jumped from the bed shaking her wings in worry for the fire as Scootaloo started to took of her bandages to reveal her energized form and her eyes glowed at the expectation of some action. The three went downstairs but befor going to the door they looked at each other and turned to the kitchen, once there Apple Bloom asked.
"Is there a problem if Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and I go outside for a while?." Applejack looked at her.
"To where? To buy a snack? To rent a movie?" But Sweetie Belle answered.
"Actually. there is a big fire on the other side of the town and we tough that we could go and help." Rainbow almost spited her cider and tried to say.
"Huh, that is..." But Rarity ended the sentence. "New." Then Rainbow managed to speak.
"...Uhhhh. You gals can handle it?"
Scootaloo answered this time. "Yeah." So rarity asked.
"No fights? No monsters?" She was worried to have another raging beast agains her sister.
"Nope." Assured Apple Bloom.
"Is the homework made?" Asked Applejack.
"Yes big sis." The older mares looked to each other as remembering the talk they just had and nodded. Applejack looked to Apple Bloom now. "Go, be careful and don't take unnecessary risks."
"And for later, if there is a natural disaster, and if not at school hours you can just go." Rainbow added.
"But if you can, you advice us first." Rarity finished.
"Thank you, we're gonna be careful." Scotaloo assured them and the three went to the door as Rarity spoke again.
" And no fights with monsters unless they start it."
"Okay Rarity." Sweetie Belle responded from the door. Then Apple Bloom took her into her hooves and with Scootaloo the three flew to town's direction. Inside the house Rarity sighed as she said.
"That wasn't in the manual."
"There was a manual?" Was Rainbow's answer.
***
- Somewhere else.
Peak Hardstone was a jewel artist. He dedicated his life to make the most notable pieces of work with metal and precious stones, that was the reason of his living. That and his daughter, a young mare who was now living in Canterlot as they exchanged letters every week.
His other passion besides the jewelry was the stone collecting, and this night a new kind of rock ended in his hooves. It was a beautiful piece of work, a black diamond shaped in a classic rhomboid form with its borders cut in a clean border. He found it in some kind of abandoned temple in his last vacations, it was like something called him inside the old building. Now, back at home, he was mesmerized by its simple and absorbing beauty, he could feel like the diamond talked to him, giving him advice, promising him power.
He took the diamond and, following it's instructions, he put it in the moon's light in front of his eyes. The light passed through the diamond marking the half of his face in a form of an eclipsed moon as he started to laugh. The pony known as Peak Hardstone was now vanished to the deeps of his own mind as the demon within the diamond was free again. Eclipso looked around him.
"Well. Lets see in what kind of world I awoke this time. Ahem. Heh, heh, heh. Hah, hah hah, hah hah! HA HA HA HA HA!!"
I feel warm and fuzzy inside.
I like where this story is going so far but there are a few spelling and grammatical errors though.
2931346
Sorry for responding so late, but I've been a little busy.
I hope you like this use of your idea.
2945047
Well, since I don't even speak english I'm pretty sure that there are a sh*yay*tload of spelling and grammatical errors.
Would you please point them to correct them, it will help me with my english and will help with the reading.
2945765 hey where is Flutterhulk?
2957336
Sorry but I have not intentions of a Flutterhulk (for now), but maybe she could be a chekhov's gunmare at some point (God knows there is a lot of chekhov's guns all over the place).
2959738 i thank i wood ask that all.
who is the guy at the end
3151532
One of the classic villains of the Justice League.
Basically is a spirit of vengeance and the elemental of the dark side of the moon that is captive inside the black diamond called the Heart of Darkness who can posses whoever touches it and is not strong enough. He can also corrupts other beings through they desires, doubts and fears. Think of him as a magical version of Mister Hyde with super powers.
For more information go here and read the modern age description which is the one I'm using for this.
Stay tuned, the next chapter is almost done.
Wave the reason i have faved this story is that it is interesting to me and made me giggle a bit. Ive always love transformation stories but there isnt a whole lot of really good ones like 5 score and those other ones. I saw your story in my feed and read it and i enjoyed quite a bit.
3251259
You don't know how pleases me to read that. (I'm not sure if the spanish expression is applied right here).
Is an accomplishment to make a reader enjoy a story.
3487701
No excuses necessary. Being a beginner writer isn't a sin. We all need to start somewhere - how will you get better if you don't practice? English isn't my first language either, anyhow. And trust me, I've seen works by actual english speakers that look much worse.
A second, careful look-over always helps. Particularly if you've left that chapter alone for a while. It's easy to overlook mistakes if you're proofreading right after you've written the material, so give it a little rest.
Another tip: When writing dialogue, you should never have more than one speaker in the same paragraph!
Example:
Promising stories deserve stars too, and this way I'm alerted to updates. Doom Patrol is a fun comic, so a pony crossover is very promising. Admittedly I prefer the Grant Morrisson era (because I do so love an LSD trip without having to resort to actual drugs) but there's already a bizarre fanfic here crossing over with that. This is rather the more grounded Kupperberg era, and it's quite deserving of some attention too.
Now I've actually read all chapters. (I kinda failed to see that there were more than one when I wrote my previous comment.) The story is unfolding at a fairly decent pace, no real complaints there. The third chapter was maybe a bit heavy on the info-dump side, and the DC references all over the Pink-Cave seemed rather gratuitous. On the other hoof, Pinkamena as a resident mad genius serving as an advisor to the Cutie Mark Patrol was very fun. Stand-in for Niles Caulder? It's a novel and new interpretation of her character. (Of course, she could have been a great Crazy Jane, but that's Morrisson era.)
I'm hoping that we'll see more of what Discord's plan with this. Sure, it would seem like he's just messing with them for his own twisted fun, but it would be interesting if it turned out he gave the CMC superpowers for a reason, like 'Equestria will need some unconventional heroes soon, because something very nasty is coming this way'. If you want to use updated canon, you could probably have Reformed Discord do this to them. Of course, the Mane Six will be angry with him, at least until something comes along that they can't handle, and they realize that Equestria needs the Doom Patrol Crusaders.
Oh, and the bit where they asked for permission to go put out a fire felt so very Power Puff Girls.
If you can tidy up the writing a bit, this story will be just fine. I look forward to the next chapter.
3489614
Okay lets see it:
HA! Take that, writers I will provably never meet.
And I promise to take note of those recommendations so thank you for that.
Funny, I was trying to do more like Byrne than anything, I wasn't really thinking about Kupperberg (but you are right, this really look like his run on the series)
Okay, first of all, yeah I wanted to gave all the explanations together but it ended being a long "all there in the manual" chapter.
Second, let see about the references:
Actually mean something: Discord's "funny guy", the cave, the Mare of Steel armor, the Thanagarian Wings, Grundy's appearance, the Cybertronian scanner, the different colors of Kryptonite, Pink's friend "from far far away".
Chekov's guns: The cosmic rod, Sweetie Belle having a Metallo's design.
Actually gratuitous: Everything that discord says, Doctor Insano's glasses, the boxing glove arrows, the Blue Beetle's gun.
And yes, Pinkamena is my view of the silver age Niles Caulder (an introverted sci-fi genius) being also the rational side to compliment Pinkies craziness. Also Pinkie being an expy of Crazy Jane passed through my ming but (spoilers) and also (more spoilers) but finally (the big reveal at the end of the (yes, this is a spoiler inside a spoiler)) so now she's the new The Chief.
This story actually takes place fifty-two seconds (yes another reference) after the en of "The Crystal Empire" but Discord is just a villain, I really don't see him a someone who could actually reform, but you actually came very close to what I'm planing around his actions.
Actually from Giffen and Rogers run on Blue Beetle (the third one).
That's pretty much all I can say without saying that (even more spoilers). Thanks for the comments, they're helping me to put some thing on perspective (hindsight is something wonderfull) and actually pull this story out of the development hell where it is now.
...nope.
Nope nope nope. Can't deal with it. Nope.
Congratulations you managed to make a fic too terrifying to read without it being terrifying at all.
5308356
A new comment has appeared! *holds breath while reading it*
Wait a sec, care to elaborate?
This chapter was written when I was still trying out ideas to see what works and what not (right before its six-months hiatus), and is still from before I got an editor. So, you'r negativeness towards this is because of plot or because of grammar?
Ahem? This villain seems a bit rusty, let’s hope he makes it interesting.
10693066
Well, since this is a dead fic, I guess I can share the original plans:
This version of Eclipso would have acted like a plague, possessing an endless string of ponies until he reached Canterlot, to possess the Princesses. In his attempt to attack Luna, he would have freed Nightmare Moon, starting a sort of war between both to become the real Prince of Darkness. Caught in the middle of that, the Doom Patrol would have tried to stall both of them, but to no avail, while The Mane Six' attempt to use the element would have been thwarted by Rainbow Dash being secretly eclipsed after a trip to Cloudsdale. Also, trying to experiment with eclipsed ponies, Pinkamena would have been possessed too. In the end, their only chance would have been to pick a side with Nightmare Moon, As her powers and Eclipso's cancelled each other, only The Doom Patrol could tip the balance, with Scootaloo using all her energy in overloading the Black Diamond, cutting Eclipso's possesion of Equestria and letting the Elemetns act again.
Or something like that. It's been years since I was writing this, and I lost the original notes.