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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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That ending to this chapter was amazing.
ehhhhhhhhhhhh......shouldnt have told them your life story in one shot shoulda keept with the memory loss and goin.... i had a flash back (and stared manlyey into the distance) *thundercrack* ahhhhhhhh
EMOTIONALLY SCARRED SOILDERS ARE ALWAYS DANGEROUS. I happen to live with one. My stepson did 2 tours in Iraq as a combat engineer on the airport road. Life is not fun but my wife and I have been doing our best for him over these years.
Nice!
DEMONS DEMONS BLOOD RITUAL FLESH RIP AND TEAR YOUR GUTS
no,really.
wat.
I don't remember him attacking the mane six from the original story. Did you add that in or did I just forget about it?
Either way, you're doing a pretty spectacular job with this rewrite.
I loved the old version, but this is:
Hmm, that was a really interesting back-story, but I think that the form it was presented in leaves much to be desired. I guess it would have a lot more impact if it was shown through a series of flashbacks, instead of the protagonist literally telling us the story of his life.
From what I noticed in your other stories (I only glanced at the chapter wordcounts), you tend to write pretty short chapters, so I guess it would be uncomfortable for you to write a long one with multiple flashbacks -- in this particular case I can imagine it going well over 8k words. Considering this, I shall forgive you ... But only for this time
2925051 No, he hit a random pony and grabbed another in a panic, not a flashback.
I'll try to link the old version soon.
2925199
One unrelated question..
Are you going to go through your other stories that have references to this one to account for the name change, or just let it be?
I recall the broken soldier is mentioned by name in Chaotic Harmony
I know this isn't a big deal, or even a medium sized one.
2925256 It might be referenced in Children of Chaos.
Good story. Just an advisory mate, a lot of people on this site have a raging hateboner for large amounts of grim dark. The demon IE, of you have surprises like these you should really space them out
2925589 I do use dark scenes in stories, but I don't go full on grimdark
2925692 bleh, just a statement. that demon stuff was pretty friggin dark, but don't throw that stuff around lightly.
2926282 I know the demon was a little dark, that's why I didn't use a flashback scene. I use dark moments only to make the ending that much more happy. I never do true grimdark.
Compared to the pacing of chapters one and two, this third chapter blows past the reader like it has a Super Charger, NOS, a big block 409, dual carbs, and jet thrusters. It feels rushed to the point it is hard to understand just what happened. I actually had to retread it twice to understand all that happened.
2926901 That was kind of the idea. Put the reader in the confusion of the situation. Basically, you felt what everypony at the party felt.
TEEHEEHEE
wow, his story souds like a mix between a spartan from halo, a mage from WoW, a tenno from Warframe, and a bunch of badassery.
2980012
fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/32394.png?1339727110
pic from And Then They Blanked! by SwiperTheFox
2013, 2 years old. The fandom was young and many of us didn't had a clue about writing. (Some don't till today xD )
So reading this in 2015... It feels rushed and told like a robot would do. Without emotions. As his entire past is just a funny story told to friend on a site note.
Anyway, the show must go on!
Incoming Shipping?
Holy throne, that was intense!
Hello, I'm you're friendly neighborhood Demon.
How ya doin'?