When they got home that evening, Fluttershy and Rainbow sat down on the living room coach, exhausted from the fun they had with the CMC, Rainbow felt tired but more than that she was worried ever sense she called Fluttershy 'Mommy' she been very quiet and that made her uneasy.
'Oh no, does she hate me now, does she not want to be my friend anymore, what is she going to say when we talk about what happened at the lake.' she thought to herself, the list of thing to worry going on for what seemed to be forever, she kept thinking until she heard Fluttershy call.
"Rainbow." Fluttershy said in a motionless tone.
"Y-Yeah?" Rainbow replied nervously.
"I want to talk about what happened at th-"
"Hey Fwuttewshy I'm hungry." she interrupted before Fluttershy could finish what she wanted to say.
Fluttershy look at her with a questionable, "Really?" she said.
Rainbow nodded.
"Okay than." Fluttershy replied then she rolled onto her belly, exposing her teats to Rainbow.
Rainbow quickly crawled over and clamped on to her and began nursing, 'Okay all I have to do is keep nursing until I can figure out something to say.' she thought to herself but what she kept nursing until both of Fluttershy's teats where completely empty of there rich creamy milk but even after all that time nursing she still didn't have anything to say to Fluttershy 'Oh no, what am I going to do."
"Are you done?" Fluttershy asked knowing good and well that she was empty in both her teats.
Rainbow pretended to yawn hopping Fluttershy would put her down for a nap for the night "Yes and I'm kinda sweepy now, can I take a nap?" she asked.
Fluttershy wasn't about to let this slid so she said, "Okay but you have to answer a few questions first."
"Actuawwy I'm pwetty tiwed so could it wait till tomowwow." Rainbow pleaded.
"Rainbow," Fluttershy said in a serious tone, "we need to talk!"
Rainbow kept looking at Fluttershy's assertive expression, she has never seen her this serious before, except for when they went to take care of that dragon, Rainbow didn't know what to do so she did what her brain was screaming for her to do...she told the truth.
"Fluttershy, I think of you as my mama!" Rainbow yelled.
Fluttershy motion a hoof to go on.
"When you take cawe of me, hug me, feed me, wove me, evewy time I feel your embwace, I can feel that same feeling I got when I was with my past pawents," she was now crying her eyes out from her heavy heart, "pwease Fwuttewshy don't hate me all I wanted....was to have a, MOMMY AGAIN!!" she wailed starting to cry louder.
Fluttershy picked Rainbow up and put her over her shoulder, "Its okay Rainbow," she cooed, "I feel the exact same way."
Rainbow's crying went down to a sniffle then she looked up at Fluttershy with watery eyes, cheeks moist, "*Sniff* Weally?" she asked.
Fluttershy smiled, "Yeah, I think I've become attached to you so much sense you become sense you became a baby I think I may have been thinking of you as my daughter," she said then nuzzling Rainbow's cheek, "in fact I would like to make a proposal."
Rainbow made a curious look but a bit excited, "What?" she asked
"Until you change back would you like to call me Mommy?" Fluttershy asked
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!!" Rainbow replied excitedly then hugged Fluttershy's neck as tight as she could.
Fluttershy returned the embrace with her own hug.
Rainbow stayed there in that hug until she thought of something, "But only until I change back and only when there's nopony else around." she retorted.
Fluttershy giggled then she nodded and they returned to hugging.
Rainbow had her eyes closed and when she opened them back she saw a smirking rabbit and a smiling tortoise on the other side of the couch.
Angel and Tank had been sitting quietly and watching the scene unfurl before them, Tank couldn't be more happier for the two, as for Angel he was happy to have some 'dirt' on Rainbow now.
Rainbow squinted her eyes at the pets in annoyance, "You didn't see anything." she whispered.
Angel continued to smirk and jumped of the couch to leave the two to there moment.
Tank made a zip off his lip with his arm and jumped the couch following the rabbit.
Fluttershy and Rainbow stayed in the embrace for what seemed like eternity, happy to be mother and daughter until Rainbow's return to adult hood.
****
Little did they know from the living room window they were being watched by Lightning dust who had found were they lived and had heard and watched everything.
Lightning laughed "Hah, hah soon Rainbow I'm going to break up this little heart warming moment." she said then flew of into the night "Tomorrow I'm going to destroy you life."
This has to be the best chapter so far but you're still making some spelling and grammar errors. This could be better if you could find the time to pick up an editor or at least a pre-reader to glance over this.
I love this chapter
So. Many. Errors. Must. Fix. NOW!!!!
It should be:
This sounds/looks better:
Try this instead:
Yours:^^^ Mine: vvv
Aw, screw it! I'm going to edit the rest of it all at once!
AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
What you had:
What I revised:
*pant-pant* There! The deed is done!
HHNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG?
props to the person above me for helping with the grammar. i suck at it too but it feels more rewarding once someone looks over it and reviews it.
well since you did the swimming chapter, i thank you for that. though since you mentioned Rainbow's parents met an unfortunate fate, maybe you could go a bit into detail with that?
more
Okay everypony i'm am sorry for my terrible editing my editer quit a while ago and I'm going on luck here, I know its probably not a good idea but still its all I got so, please don't hate me.
3073364 that ok and i don't hate you
what the prequel?
Also. MMMOOOORRRRRREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! Please.
3075733 right here, but judging on when your comment was posted, you've probably found it by now.
3073364 HEY!
I HAVE A FEW THINGS TO SAY TO YOU!
FIRSTLY, I
AM APPALED BY YOUR LACK OF GRAMthinking your doing fine so keep up so what if there are a few grammical errors, good story = good fic3909828
also stop being hard on yahself
that was so sweet
i cannot wait for the next chapter (and to any who haven't found out what i did before, stop reading)
i;'m really looking forward to seeing LD's plan blow up in her face... damn it! there's no smirking face here!
3069106 You should defiantly edit his stories! Your totally radical' man
the villians those days, always in the background, maybe between some bushes and laughing laughing laughing....they donĀ“t have many hobbys
So frickin cute. Anyone else see fluttershy as having the makings of being a great mother?