Author's note: To the readers of tomorrow: Hello, thank you for reading this far. The following is a little April's fool chapter I came up with. It's actually an ending I toyed with for a time, before finally discarding it. While it would have been funny to me to end things in such a cliche way, it would not be fair to the story to do so. I don't take my story overly seriously, but even I know a bad ending can ruin a tale. I felt if there was one day I could get away with posting this, it was April Fools Day. More chapters follow of course.
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Twilight Sparkle furiously went through her monster manual. "Here it is, a Great Wyrm Prismatic Dragon: CR 66. Oh, this is not good."
Pinkie looked over her shoulder. "Looks fun! Oh... That could be bad."
Applejack was looking over her sheet for encounter abilities, she had saved them for the end boss. "What's up Sparkle?"
Twilight held the book up. She pointed to a certain passage. "It's apparently immune to any light based attacks. 'Prismatic dragons cannot be harmed by any light, including Evocation [Light] spells, searing light, and the various prismatic (sphere, spray, wall) spells. In addition, they are immune to any spell or effect that causes blindness.' That basically nullifies the elements. Guys even with the npc element bearers I think we're hosed."
Rarity pored over her spell sheet. "Perhaps a "wish" spell? We could try to counteract it’s natural defenses."
Twilight shook her head sadly, "Wish is kinda limited in the latest update, it can duplicate spell effects but this is a natural immunity. You can try for more grand effects but phrase it just the wrong way and the DM will screw us over with something worse." She glared at the pony waiting patiently for them to finish their little planning session. He grinned back.
Fluttershy meekly spoke up. "Maybe if we asked for godly intervention? I haven't asked my deity for anything this session..."
Twilight considered, but then remembered last session. "You ticked off the DM last week by asking your deity to grant you a grain sack of plenty to take care of your animal companions. He said your deity cut you off for a week until you learn to stop making petty requests."
Rainbow laughed. "Gals I got this, me and Tornado are gonna whip the skies into a funnel of death and watch it tear this thing apart."
The DM called over to the group. "You ready? I need to get this rolling or we'll have to pack it up and wait for next week."
Twilight sighed. "Ready girls?"
All. "Ready!"
Everypony rolled for initiative. Pinkie rolled an 18, Twilight a 14, Rarity rolled 13, Fluttershy a 1. Pinkie winced. "Flutters, you need a new d20, that one is cursed."
Rainbow Dash grinned from ear to ear. "Natural 20, that's how I roll!"
The DM noted the scores. "The Dragon rolls a 17-"
Rainbow grinned even wider. "Okay, so Pinkie and I go first. Pinkie you sing us a song to boost our INT, we're gonna need it to do more damage with the Tornado-"
The DM held up a hoof. "You didn't let me finish. It has improved initiative, that's a total score of 21. Dragon goes first."
The DM rolled. "Biting attack, called shot, 86 points of damage. He just bit off Tornado's wing." He rolled again. "Cleave, called shot, 108 points of damage. Dash your left wing is gone. You'll survive the fall but you're both grounded."
Dash looked over her sheet. She needed to be in the air to move the clouds. This bucked up everything! "You know what? Buck this game, and buck you for wasting nearly two months of my time only to pit me against something I can't beat!" She grabbed her dice bag in her teeth and stormed off.
Twilight watched her friend walk away. "Sorry girls, lemme talk to her tomorrow. See if she cools off."
Everypony packed up, the game, for the moment, was over.
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And there we have it, the end of my fic. I hope you enjoyed it everypony. No, quit looking at the calendar, there is no way I would troll all you fine people just because of a date. No way at all. That's totally the ending. Yep, nothing more to come. The whole thing has been just a D&D game. Yep, worst ending ever. I know, I am a horrible horrible person. Oh, and if you haven’t figured it out by now, yes, more chapters to follow.
You.... are a TERRIBLE person.. Assuming I wouldn't have this date committed to memory... I skipped this chapter, since I knew it would be a trolly chapter Anyway, Hope to see a REAL update soon!
~Parajack
BUT WHY CONTINUE.
It all wraps up so nicely.
392456 Ok, yea, it was worth it! Also! ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!
Parajack Rolls: 1
KobalStromo Rolls: 20
KobalStromo Comments first!
Couldn't resist! And because of da coders, Rainbow Dash
~Parajack
*notes the fact the fic is still Incomplete*
392477 Why? My poor little foal the real ending will be full of even more foolishness.
392511 I stopped caring about April Fool's Day years ago, I know its today, I just don't care
392527 It's alright, I used to play DnD YEARS ago, I don't even remember it at all... so I can't make references of it
392517
Because. I don't know if I can handle it!
392560 Be strong, the bullshit will wash over you in a deluge of madness. You will emerge better for it. You can do it!
I like pan cakes!!!!!! Anywho great story want real ending but hell the wait will be worth it as long as grif almost dies............
... You horrible, trolltastic S.O.B.
So much love.
Those are...4th edition rules...
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw50_1300065528066.jpg
Man, that is one terrible DM. Pissing of your legitimate players is never a good idea.
QuackmanBrony: Can we have the real story now?
Steel Resolve: No the whole thing was just a D&D game. GTFO
QuackmanBrony: You're not nice!
Then I remembered, you're full of shit. And now to play the waiting game.
That was...strange...
I think I love you, and I'm currently writing in Comic Sans MS, so it gotta mean something...
393150 comrade, turn off g1 view or all your stories will have wrong names today
393159
Eh... Turn off what?
393159
Oh, god. I've been 1st april'd. My shame. Then i'll erase this comment and make on 2 chapters, cuz besides that there is nothing to talk about.
i love AFD!
You're a evil, evil, evil person. Nope. Sorry your not up to evil standards, maybe up to ebil, but not evil :)
393269 I just can't be truly evil. I try but the best I can do is play a silly prank on my readers and then spoil it immediately because I feel bad. It was fun to write RBD rage quitting though.
I kinda prefer most of the writer's AFD Jokes instead of the one pulled by Fimfiction....
problem?
Let it be said that in my country, April fools day is not celebrated...whether for good or bad, I don't know. But this certainly takes a cake full of . You sir are are great, therefore. I'll see you on the next chapter! (Also, thanks for letting me see a written play of D&D. Since we don't have the game in my country I always wondered...)
393652 Aprils fools is not so much celebrated as inflicted on people. if Discord had a holiday, that would be it.
Oh you
393696 Touche. Amen on that thought. I wonder though, wouldn't it make for a great plot that once a year (April Fools), the magic that got Discord trapped dimished enough to let him free that day because of all the chaos going around?
Since when does a nat 20 lose to something? I thought it was instant victory, even in 4th edition.
Then again, my DM has been mixing 3.5 and 4, so I'm not quite sure...
393993 house rules are a bitch...
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Hello everypony! We are here again, bringing another installation of Stalinview!
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Let's dig into "A Spa Appointment!"
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png By the way, we are lucky today! Discord took a day off, saying something about "Ponymon"
i44.tinypic.com/wryt1c.png I wonder what it is...
i39.tinypic.com/2rz4eo7.png
"I've always wondered how it might feel to be an earth pony, or maybe a tree"
i41.tinypic.com/spenhf.png It is bad to be a tree! Trees cant drink Vodka! How can you even exist if you not drinking vodka?!
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Misha, not everypony drink vodka.
i41.tinypic.com/spenhf.png Lies!
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png On to the next chapter!
"When I fell the ground broke, but I didn't"
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Its only possible if
a) Alicorn powers giving massive weight increase
b) Ground is made out of ice or something.
i44.tinypic.com/wryt1c.png Seriously, creature with weight of Fluttershy can't "break ground" falling
"you've grown a horn dear"
i44.tinypic.com/wryt1c.png Boss
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png No.
i44.tinypic.com/wryt1c.png Can i...
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png No.
i44.tinypic.com/wryt1c.png Can i say it..
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png NO
i44.tinypic.com/wryt1c.png Okay... Buzzkill
i43.tinypic.com/w2kmfo.png You know, i found it earlier, but everypony's reaction on them turning Alicorns is... Well, not trustworthy.
I mean, turning into alicorn is not something that happens overnight. Imagin, if your neibhour grown wings and started to use magic.
It's like mutation! Why no one cares much?
"The room was decorated with a typical but twisted Pinkie Pie flair. Colorful streamers of dried entrails fluttered around on the ceiling, brightly painted skulls of all sizes were attached to the walls, and organs done up in pastels filled with helium were tied to the backs of chairs. The tables and chairs were made of bones and the preserved flesh of past ponies."
Pinkie I swear to Celestia... stop messing with the storyline, we're not doing grimdark here.
"You're no fun!"
i44.tinypic.com/wryt1c.png DISCORD! STOP EDITING THE STORY! Discord? I know you're here!
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png He is not. Even he coul'dnt do thing like that. It is horrible.
Agreed. He mentioned Ungodly Abormination number one. -1 point to the story from me
i41.tinypic.com/spenhf.png And from me!
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png I don't even want to read further.
Come on, boss! We know that you have Cupcakephobia, but story itself is cool!
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png ...Okay. But if i find another mention of Ungodly Abormination, i'll quit. And no Discord shall stop me. But for now
i44.tinypic.com/14b8d9c.png Stay tuned!
394073 no more random inserts of cupcakes, I promise. The author scolded her for that later
More of this, please
Good ending!
this is no April fool's post!
Steel's been writing the entire fiction, planning all the way to piss us off with this ending! i see no other possibility!
woe be onto us for not seeing this coming!
hate you.
Well, all in all that was pretty cool
Good Trolling
Now onto the real battle yes? It will be magics!
the real question, who was the GM?
so... someone plays D20 modern, rather than straight D&D, or Pathfinder. After all, if that was in either of those... you'd have essentially just made a god-beast. The tarrasque, who actually damages you when you use a ray attack on it, is only CR 35 or something. yeah. http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/tarrasque.html
Funny chapter. that DM is just evil...
I'm curious now. Who was the DM? You said "He"...
394961>>395870>>395752 Well I would never name him in the story, but he has a strong face, light blue coat, a mane of purple streaked with steel gray. He's an old grizzled bastard who likes working with metal, in fact, that's his talent. He's a right bastard too, but hey, how would you deal with 14 demigods in your campaign with a light based attack capable of turning a god to stone?
394961 wow, that's... actually a good question. answer, Resolve?
395839 ... Blue Steel? media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lex5npxDqi1qcl3yo.jpg
395885 lol god I loved that movie
By the way, you did get me with this. Took me till halfway through to remember the date.
392560 Your comment is hilarious because I was actually playing D&D yesterday, and our group was continually using that line. Soul eater references all the way! Unless that wasn't a reference and it's just my strangeness telling me it is.
Your name is Steel Resolve, NOT Troll Revolve.
;)
Lawl
I prefer 3.5 over 4th edition, still a fun scene though.