Good Intentions
Good Intentions
Or
How Luna Accidentally Blew Her Teacher’s Head Off and Burned Down an Entire Parade
“…given the evidence I’ve just presented and taking into account the recent troubles you have been dealing with, I think it’s safe to conclude that Tirek’s return to life is almost complete as prophesied by numerous early Equestrian legends.” Luna said, bringing her presentation to a close.
“If we act quickly and divert the guards away from the festivities and towards the lower reaches of Canterlot where Tirek was last seen, I believe we stand a good chance of stopping him in his tracks before he does any serious damage. I am confident in my findings and I humbly ask for your support when I present them to Princess Twilight.”
Luna concluded her presentation, breathlessly waiting for a reaction from her audience. The ancient ponies sitting before her were silent for a long moment, exchanging unreadable glances with the clearly skeptical dragon stretched out in front of them. They communicated with one another in their own private language of meaningful looks they had carefully developed over centuries spent together. As their silent conversation continued, Luna became increasingly uncomfortable. Sure, she had fantasized about the princesses immediately realizing the seriousness of the situation and springing into action while making plans for Luna’s “I Saved The City” parade that would inevitably follow Tirek’s defeat but she knew convincing the princesses to divert their attention away from the party would be difficult.
Still…they were taking an awfully long time arriving at what should have been a pretty obvious conclusion and the longer they remained silent the more Luna doubted that she was going to get the kind of answer she was after.
As the silence in the courtyard became unbearably uncomfortable, Celestia cleared her throat in a feeble attempt to get the conversation started again.
“I-I’m happy to answer any questions Your Highnesses might have.” Luna stammered, suddenly feeling less and less sure of herself as four sets of ancient eyes turned to fix on her.
“Well…it seems as though you’ve put a lot of thought into this, Luna.” Princess Fluttershy said gently.
“And we always appreciate it when a concerned citizen makes us aware of a potential problem." Princess Rarity said. "Even if they feel they have to break into our homes to do so.”
“However…” Spike said as Luna’s stomach suddenly plummeted to her hooves.
“L-look, I know it’s out there, believe me I do!” Luna said quickly. “B-b-but I really think my research supports my conclusion!”
“How?” Princess Applejack said simply.
“H-how?” Luna echoed.
“How exactly does your research support the notion that an ancient monster-that hasn’t been seen or heard from in over nine hundred years, mind you-is suddenly going to make a comeback on the thousandth anniversary of his death?” Princess Applejack said.
“But…but you said it yourselves!” Luna said, fumbling through her notes. “Random earthquakes increasing in frequency! Strange monster sightings in the countryside! Out of control weather patterns! It’s all happening, just like the legend said it would!”
“That may be so, dear.” Princess Rarity said. “But we still have no proof that any of our current misfortunes are in any way related to the resurrection of our old enemy.”
“But…you were there!” Luna blurted out. “Didn’t he swear that he would come back and destroy Equestria?!”
“I seem to remember him making a lot of ugly threats as he fell into that pit.” Spike chimed in. “And so far, he hasn’t made good on a single one of them.”
“Yes, if I recall correctly he promised that fire and brimstone would rain from the heavens as punishment for defying his "divine right to rule over us ignorant animals.” Princess Applejack laughed bitterly
“And for all the strange weather we’ve had over the years, I don’t think I’ll be investing in a fireproof umbrella anytime soon.” Princess Rarity chuckled.
“But…all this stuff that’s happening all at once…it has to be more than a coincidence!” Luna cried.
“Why?” Princess Applejack challenged. “Just because we’re running into a patch of trouble lately doesn’t mean that an old monster is rising from the grave to get revenge on us for doing him in.”
“As much as I would like our problems to have a single, simple explanation, the truth of the matter is that bad things have happened in this kingdom for centuries without an undead menace pulling the strings.” Princess Rarity said.
“And I’m sorry to say but nothing you’ve shown us has convinced me that we should divert our limited supply of guards away from the throngs of ponies who actually need our protection on the off chance Tirek decides to crash our party.” Spike said.
“But…but…” Luna said feebly, frantically paging through her notes for anything that might convince the princesses of the urgency of the situation. “W-wait, I think I can explain this better-”
“We thank you for your concern and appreciate the lengths you went to bring this theory to our attention.” Princess Fluttershy said. “But I’m afraid we cannot condone rash military action based on old rumors with no real foundation to them.”
“But-” Luna started, only to be cut off by Princess Fluttershy gently raising her hoof.
“I’m sorry, but this must be our final word on the matter. We cannot support your claim as presented and we will not draw our guards' attention away from the the biggest public event in Equestrian history.” Princess Fluttershy said sternly. “Now, unless there’s anything else you’d like to discuss with us, I’m afraid we must excuse ourselves to prepare for the ceremony tomorrow.”
“Wait, you’re making a mistake!” Luna said, feeling a rash swell of anger surge through her body. “You can’t just-”
“Thank you so much for seeing us, Your Highnesses!” Celestia said quickly before Luna could say something she’d regret. “We understand that you are busy preparing for your ceremony and appreciate your dedication to ensuring the capital is safe tomorrow night.”
“But they-ow!” Luna hissed as Celestia lightly jabbed her in the ribs.
“If you have any further questions or concerns about the information my sister brought to you, please do not hesitate to send for us.” Celestia said with another curtsy.
“If anything changes, we’ll let you know.” Princess Applejack said.
“Come on, ladies.” Spike said, rousing from spot on the grass and steering a shaken Luna towards the door. “I’ll walk you out.”
“Well, Luna, at least our little visits are always…interesting to say the least.” Spike said.
Spike escorted Luna and Celestia off the villa grounds, past a pair of disgruntled and embarrassed guards who they fooled on the way in. As they passed, the rangers shot them a scathing glance and muttered something to the effect of “…disgrace to the name of Sir Bearington.”
“Not that I don’t like to see you out of the library every now and then,” Spike said. “But how about next time you just go out to lunch or see a movie with a friend? You know; something that doesn't involve breaking and entering.”
“We didn’t break in.” Luna mumbled. “The guards let us in.”
“The guards let Sir Bearington and his invisible sidekick in.” Spike laughed . “Nice bit of spellwork there, by the way. I think Twilight would have been proud of you…under, ah, different circumstances.”
“Yeah…fat lot of good my spellwork did me if it didn't convince them to help me.” Luna muttered under her breath.
“I know you’re disappointed right now-” Spike said gently.
“Ha!” Luna snorted bitterly.
“But try and see things from our point of view.” Spike said evenly. “We have over four hundred and fifty thousand ponies coming up to the city for the party on top of the nearly five hundred thousand ponies who live and work in Canterlot every day. We have exactly twenty thousand guards in the City Watch, five thousand guards in the Scouting Legion and a little more than twelve thousand guards from the castle. Less than forty thousand guards are responsible for looking after nearly a million partygoers. Our security forces are overtaxed as it is; diverting guards to the Canterlot Underground means diverting them away from the ponies they need to look after.”
“But if I’m right-” Luna said.
“Then what are we supposed to do?” Spike said. “Send a dozen guards to the Underground so that when Tirek rises out of the earth he has a nice juicy snack prepared for him? What good do you think a handful of guards are going to do against a monster like Tirek?”
“If nothing else, they could warn everypony else before-”
“Before they get squished like little ants under Tirek’s hooves.” Spike finished. “If you’re wrong, we lose support in the main party areas where we need it most. If you’re right, the guards I send to watch for Tirek become his first victims. Are you suggesting I risk lives based on a theory born out of a hunch you had?”
“Um, excuse me, Your Grace.” Celestia interrupted.
“Just Spike, if you don’t mind.” Spike said.
“Uh…o-okay, Spike.” Celestia said. “I was going to say that I don’t think my sister was suggesting that you take any course of action in particular and certainly not one that would endanger lives. Only that we have a potential security risk that we think deserves your full attention.”
“Even if I’m wrong, which I’m not, a few guards keeping the Underground clear won’t be terribly missed.” Luna said, taking a deep breath. “Even if the princesses decide not to do anything…you have to do everything in your power to prevent Tirek’s return.”
“Luna, the princesses don’t think it’s such a good idea to distract ourselves from-” Spike started
“It doesn’t matter what the princesses think!” Luna blurted out.
“Luna, calm down!” Celestia hissed nervously.
“I don’t know if anypony told you this but the princesses kind of rule over the entire country.” Spike said sternly. “I think that means it matters a great deal what they think.”
“Not in Canterlot it doesn't!” Luna said. “The Princesses share rule over Equestria equally but none of them rule over Canterlot!”
“Are you seriously trying to tell me that the Princesses don’t even control their own capital?” Celestia laughed.
“They don’t!” Luna insisted.
“Okay, brainiac, then who does?” Celestia said.
Luna turned to look up at Spike as she quickly recalled her history lessons. “In Realm Year 251 the Princesses had their first and greatest fight over who would rule over the city of Canterlot. They had agreed to share the rule of Equestria equally but when it came to the capital, there was some dispute over who would control it. The split the city into six equal parts but soon began quarreling over who controlled the royal castle. They erected huge walls blocking Princess Applejack’s neighborhoods off from Princess Rarity’s neighborhoods. The palace was in constant turmoil as each princess claimed that the Royal Palace was theirs. This went on for almost a year before someone claimed Canterlot for themselves by right of title.”
“But who-” Celestia looked from Luna to Spike. “Seriously?”
“The Princesses awarded Spike the title of Duke of Canterlot when he was a child, largely as a little gold star for helping them defeat Tirek.” Luna continued. “But technically he’s the only one with legitimate claim to city since no individual princess was given Canterlot when they divided Equestria between them. So, when the princesses’ infighting threatened to tear the city apart, the Duke of Canterlot lay claim to the city by right of his title. Spike threatened to secede Canterlot from the rest of Equestria and boot the princesses out unless they stopped fighting and agreed that the capital city would remain a neutral ground where none of them ruled."
"And they just let him have it?" Celestia said.
"I can be very persuasive when I want to be." Spike said. "And the fact that I was the size of a small skyscraper by then didn't hurt my case."
"Ultimately the princesses agreed and Canterlot would continue to act as the capital and remain part of Equestria but the administration of the city itself, including its defense, would be overseen by the Duke.”
“I-is that true Your-er, Spike?” Celestia asked.
“Technically.” Spike admitted. “We’ve never had any major disagreements on how Canterlot should be run but I suppose if it ever came down to it…my word would legally override theirs if it concerned the city itself.”
“Which means, no matter what the princesses decide to do, Spike can make whatever decision he wants when it comes to Canterlot’s safety!” Luna concluded triumphantly.
“Yes…technically.” Spike admitted. “But it’s not that simple. The princesses have commanded their personal guards to assist in the city’s security detail tomorrow night-”
“What?!” Luna cried. “You mean they’re completely unprotected?!”
“As unprotected as six demigoddesses with nigh unstoppable magical and physical abilities can be.” Spike said. “More to the point, I have no authority over their personal guard which means if I want to cover the Canterlot Underground, I need to move my City Watch and Scouting Legion away from their posts where they’re needed to direct the Royal Guards. The Royal Guards have protected the Palace for years but they’ve got little to no experience with real police work. Captain Carrot is short staffed as it is and he needs every available City Watch to quote “hold the hooves of the Pampered Palace Princess Pansies.”
“Pansies?” Celestia snorted.
“He used...another word that I’m not going to repeat in civilized company.” Spike coughed.
“I know I’m asking a lot of you.” Luna said. “And I know I’ve given you reason to doubt me in the past but…you have to trust me on this. Tirek is going to return tomorrow night and we need to do everything in our power to stop him or this anniversary party is going to be the last one Equestria ever sees. Please…there has to be something you can do.”
Spike sighed through his nose, regarding his oldest friend's student as he rubbed his eyes wearily. “I’ll…I’ll have the guards keep the Underground clear of partygoers and let them know we might be expecting some trouble down there.”
“Thank you.” Luna said earnestly.
“And I’ll send Twilight a message letting her know you’re looking for her.” Spike said. “I’m sure the others will let her know you’re coming as well.”
“Fabulous.” Luna muttered darkly.
“I know you probably think we’re impotent old fools who don’t know what we’re talking about…and you might be right about that.” Spike laughed. “But in the nine-hundred and ninety nine years that I’ve known the princesses, they’ve always put the health and happiness of Equestria above everything else. I think by now they’ve earned the benefit of the doubt when it comes to decisions regarding the safety of their subjects, don’t you think?”
“I…you’re right.” Luna mumbled.
“Of course I am!” Spike chuckled. “Everything’s going to be fine, Luna; trust me. Now, I believe I’m keeping you ladies from your party plans so and Princess Rarity wanted to fit me for a new suit, if you’ll excuse me-”
There was a bright flash of emerald flames and Spike vanished leaving the sisters standing alone in the middle of the Butterfly Garden.
“Well…” Celestia said brightly. “That turned out better than I thought it would!”
“Well that turned out worse than I thought it would.” Luna mumbled darkly.
Luna sulked out of the Butterfly Garden sullenly, listening to her sister slurp on a slushee she bought in the plaza outside the garden. The central plaza bustled with thousands of ponies coming and going and laughing and playing and all woefully unaware of the mortal peril they were all in.
“Speak for yourself; I got fifty bits from a princess and a cherry vanilla slurpee!” Celestia said cheerfully. “That counts as a pretty good morning in my book.”
“Right, because that’s what we came here for.” Luna snipped. “We broke into a royal estate to get your slushee money that Princess Applejack apparently owed you; mission freaking accomplished.”
“There’s no need to be so grouchy.” Celestia huffed. “Just because things didn’t go the way you wanted it to doesn’t mean you have to-”
“I can’t believe they just blew me off like that!” Luna cried suddenly, causing Celestia to jump and everypony within fifty yards to whip around to look at her.
“Relationship issues.” Celestia said to a chorus of ohs as everyone went back to their business.
“Okay, okay, I know you’re disappointed.” Celestia said soothingly, steering Luna towards a bench on the side of the plaza. “But the rest of Canterlot doesn’t need to know it!”
“Sorry but-” Luna shook her head. “It’s like…like they don’t even care we’re all in grave danger!”
“Did it ever cross your mind that Their Highnesses know a little more about protecting their own country than you do?” Celestia said. “And that maybe they weren't lying when they said everything was in order?”
“Right.” Luna laughed bitterly. “They've certainly got their party plans in order if nothing else. I’m starting to wonder if they’re not more concerned about the gigantic gala being thrown in their honor than they are with the safety of their subjects!”
“Hey that isn’t fair!” Celestia said sharply. “The Princesses have safeguarded Equestria from all major harm for almost a thousand years! They’ve been responding to actual threats to national security before our great-grandmother’s great-grandmother was even born! Do you really think they’re going to start dropping the ball now?”
“Well…no but-” Luna said.
“And lest we forget it was the princesses and Spike who defeated Tirek the last time he showed up.” Celestia said. “So what makes you think, on the off chance that you’re right about this, that they won’t just smack Tirek back down like an angry, undead Whack-a-Mole the way they did a thousand years ago?”
“Because they knew what they were up against!” Luna said. “They knew who they were dealing with and they took Tirek seriously! Now it’s like...like they don’t even want to consider the possibility that Tirek could be coming back! Nopony believes me and they’re all going to be caught flat hoofed tomorrow night with their guards spread out all over the city!”
“At least Spike seemed to believe you.” Celestia said. “That’ll make things easier going forward, won’t it?”
“What’s the use?” Luna sighed. “I’ve already got three princesses against me and it’s not even lunch time! Princess Rarity or Princess Applejack has probably talked to the others about my craaaazy theories by now so why even bother? I may as well just give up, go home and prepare to be enslaved again for all the good it will do me to try and convince Princess Twilight!”
Luna flopped limply on a nearby bench and groaned into her sweatshirt's sleeves. Celestia dropped to the bench beside her sister and awkwardly pulled her into a hug with one of her wings.
“Thanks for coming with me.” Luna sighed, shaking Celestia’s wing off as she got up to leave. “I’ll try and make it to your party tomorrow if I'm not toiling in Tirek's crystal mines by then.”
“What?!” Celestia said. “You’re giving up already?”
“I don’t see the point in continuing to embarrass myself with a story nopony wants to believe.” Luna said dejectedly.
“But what about Equestria?!” Celestia said. “What…what about Tirek’s return?”
“Come on, Celestia.” Luna said. “Even you don’t believe me.”
“That’s not…that’s not true!” Celestia said hastily. “And even if I didn’t believe you, I still promised that I’d see this through with you to the end!”
“This is it; this is the end.” Luna said. “I appreciate you sticking with me up until now but I’m sure you have better things to do than help your loony sister try to convince people of her crazy theory.”
“Oh stop being such a drama queen!” Celestia snapped. “You’ve never quit anything in your life and you’re not about to start now! So what if three princesses think that you’re off your rocker crazy?”
“Are you trying to make me feel better?” Luna said. “Because if you are-”
“You’ve already won the support of the Duke of Canterlot and you still have three more princesses to talk to!” Celestia said.
“But what’s the point if-”
“Luna.” Celestia said, locking eyes with her sister. “Do you think Tirek coming back tomorrow night?”
“I…I don’t know.” Luna said, squirming under Celestia’s gaze. “The research I did supports that conclusion but now I’m not so sure that-”
“Is. Tirek. Coming. Back?” Celestia asked firmly.
Luna looked down, biting her lip thoughtfully. After a few moments she sighed and looked back at her sister with cold determined eyes.
“I’d stake my life on it.” Luna said.
“Then you know what we need to do.” Celestia said.
“I…I do.”
“We need to get you some ice cream.” Celestia said
“If we’re going to convince the others, I need to-” Luna stopped, blinking at her sister owlishly. “I’m sorry…what?”
“You need ice cream.” Celestia said, draining the last of her slurpee and chucking it in a trash can with a flick of her wing. "You still like hazelnut?"
“How...how is ice cream supposed to help me-”
“You’ve been up all night, you just discovered the world is going to end tomorrow and you just got out of a disappointing first meeting with the Princesses.” Celestia said. “Before you do anything else, you need a serious refresher and no refresher is fresher than ice cream.”
“Do all your responses to national emergencies involve food?” Luna asked incredulously.
“Do you know a better way to deal with an ancient tyrant returning from the grave?” Celestia said.
“Point taken.” Luna smiled. “Thanks for sticking with me, Celestia.”
“What are big sisters for?” Celestia said. “Now you sit your flank down on that bench and try and recharge while I go and see about getting you a chocolate hazelnut cone from the yogurt cart over there.”
As Celestia disappeared into the crowd of vendors and tourists gathering for the celebration, Luna decided to take her sister’s advice and try and relax a little. The adrenaline of fear that came with her discovery had kept Luna awake all morning but now that she had a moment to stop and catch her breath, the effects of her all-night study session were beginning to take their toll. Luna stretched out on the bench, taking her sweatshirt off and sticking it under her head to lie down for a quick rest.
The hustle and bustle of downtown Canterlot blended together into a droning buzz that soon had Luna feeling very drowsy. She laid back and watched the various ponies coming and going, snack vendors setting up stands, party decorators hanging up banners displaying magically moving pictures of the princesses’ cutie marks, a tiny little gremlin pushing a baby cart down the hill and away from its mother, a group of her fellow college students playing Frisbee on the-
Luna’s eyes shot open as she glanced back over to the baby carriage curiously. The child’s mother was talking adamantly to a friend with her back turned to the carriage. Luna could have sworn that she saw something small scaly and black scurrying around the wheels…but it was probably just her imagina-
There it was again. Something like a liquid shadow slithered out of a patch of shade and back towards the baby carriage. A black scaly looking rat creature with long claws and a wide toothy mouth was creeping around in the shadow of the baby carriage, fiddling with the wheels with its long spindly fingers.
“Um…excuse me?” Luna called weakly, getting up from the bench and walking towards the mother and the cart. “Excuse me, ma’am! There’s something under your child’s-”
As she spoke, the creature undid the latch holding the wheels in place and the carriage started rolling down the hill. The mother dove to catch the carriage before it rolled away only to fall flat on her face as the creature gave it a violent push down the hill and jumped in to ride it down.
Without missing a beat, Luna started running down the hill as fast as her legs could carry her, reaching out with her magic to grab hold of the carriage. Just as she was about to grip it, the ugly rat creature stuck its head out of the carriage and shot something black and tarry in Luna’s direction. Luna brought up a quick shield to deflect it but in doing so, the baby’s carriage slipped out of her grasp and barreled towards a busy intersection where a massive cart was backing up, oblivious to the baby carriage rolling behing it. Luna poured on the speed, and again reached out to grab the cart with her magic. When the creature popped its head up again, Luna responded with a carefully controlled spellbolt fired from the tip of her horn. It flew ahead of her and hit the creature square between its beady yellow eyes, sending it flying out of the carriage as it reached the intersection.
Just as the cart was about to back over the carriage, Luna closed her eyes and pushed out with all the magical energy she could muster. She heard a sickening crunch and grinding sound as the backs of the cart collided with her barrier but inside, the baby’s carriage was perfectly fine.
“What the hell’s the matter with you?!” The cart driver cried, running around the side of his cart to look at the damage Luna had done. “You totally wrecked the back of my cart!”
“What’s the matter with you?!” Luna said. “Why don't you watch where you're going, you could have run over this baby…carriage?”
Luna looked into the cart to see an empty bundle of blankets where she expected the child to be. Luna looked back up the hill to see the mother joined by a stallion with a baby attached to his back in a sling.
“Wow, that must be a real nice carriage if it was worth busting my cart up with your freaky magic barrier!” The cart driver growled.
“I’m sorry, I thought there was a baby in it and there was this thing that-” Luna stopped as she saw the creature she knocked off the cart slither to its feet woozily.
“You!” Luna cried, tearing after the creature. “Get back here!”
The creature scampered down a side street and Luna ran after it, ignoring the angry cries of the cart driver behind her. The creature slunk and slithered its way down the street, flowing around foodcarts and hoofsteps like it was made of black oily water. Luna was forced to jostle and push her way past the crowd, calling out half formed apologies as she pursued the creature behind a large building.
The creature scampered up the side of a brick wall and Luna gave chase from the ground below. As it ran out of wall to run on, the creature leapt from the building and snagged the corner of a banner draped across the street. It came fluttering down to block Luna’s path and Luna had to quickly shred it with a spellbolt or risk getting caught in it. Luna ignored the cries of anger and dismay from the ponies who had hung the banner and pursued the creature down an alley and behind a large warehouse.
She rounded the corner and was immediately crashed into Princess Twilight, sending Luna tumbling to the ground as she bounced off her mentor and skidded across the floor.
“Ow! Watch where you're going you drooling idiot-” Luna gasped as she looked up, dropping to a quick curtsy. “P-Princess! I'm sorry, I didn't see you...there?”
Luna looked up from her bow to see the princess staring down at her with a frozen painted grin plastered on her paper machete face. Her long mane rustled in the wind as a hundreds of purple streamers streamed out from her half-finished head, left open and exposing her wireframe skeleton. The parade float’s likeness to Princess Twilight was seriously uncanny…and seriously disturbing.
“Oh that’s not creepy.” Luna mumbled, sidestepping the parade float. “That’s not creepy at all.”
Scanning around the courtyard, Luna found that the creature had led her to a large staging area that held the party supplies for the gala parade. Half finished floats of each princess cast long shadows in the courtyard and stacks of wooden packing crates bursting with streamers, balloons, and confetti provided the creature plenty of places to hide.
Luna cautiously crept her way into the courtyard, staying in the few patches of sunlight in the middle and scanning the shadows for any sign of movement. She wasn’t sure what she was dealing with and the last thing she needed was to get ambushed by a potentially dangerous shadow monster.
Luna heard a rustling behind the crates and quickly cast an invisibility spell over herself. A pair of yellow eyes blinked out from the darkness and out from the shadows the creature crept, sniffing the ground and looking around for any sign of the mare that followed it. Luna quietly crept up on the creature, moving slowly so as not to give away her location.
The rat sniffed the air and whipped around just as Luna threw off her invisibility charm and pounced on the creature as fast as she could.
“Gotcha!” Luna cried, pinning the rat to the ground with her hoof. “Now, why did you-hey!”
The rat creature melted into a shadow and slithered out from under Luna's hoof. Luna gave chase, shooting spellbolts at the creature to steer it into a dark corner. Without an escape route, it rematerialized as Luna bore down on it, trapping it under her hoof.
“As I was saying…gotcha!” Luna cried, sparking her horn menacingly. “Now then…you’re going to tell me everything you know about why you pushed that cart and who you’re working for or else I’ll…I’ll…”
Luna trailed off as dozens of glowing yellow eyes suddenly appeared to stare menacingly at her from the shadows. Dozens of other rat creatures slithered out of the wall, hissing at Luna while the one she trapped under her hoof grinned up at her menacingly.
“O-okay.” Luna said, nervously edging away from the rat creatures as they advanced on her. “I-I’m willing to discuss this rationally so…so let’s not do anything rash now.”
“Okay, Luna, they were out of hazelnut swirl but I got you cookies and cream with hazelnuts on top so-” Celestia returned to the bench where she left her sister only to find that Luna was nowhere to be found. “Luna?”
Celestia looked down the hill and groaned when she saw a trail of torn banners and overturned carts leading away from the plaza and into a dense cluster of buildings.
“Two minutes.” Celestia seethed, leaping into the air following the trail of destruction for any sign of Luna. “She can’t go two bucking minutes without getting into trouble!”
“GETOFFMEGETOFFMEGETOFFMEGETOFFME!” Luna wailed, rolling around on the ground, frantically slapping at the dozens of tiny rat creatures clawing and biting their way through her clothes.
“I…said…” Luna growled, eyes flashing white. “GET OFF!”
A ring of white magic exploded out from Luna’s horn as she flung the creatures off and scattered them across the courtyard. They bounced off walls and melted back into shadow before scrambling to their feet and scurrying at her again. Luna didn’t give them time to surround her, leaping away from the center of the yard and firing spellbolts as fast as she could cast them. The white hot bursts of magic sent the little rats shrieking back to the shadows but for every one Luna struck down, two more appeared to take its place.
Luna started to get lightheaded for casting so many spells so quickly and as a result, her aim started to suffer. Her spellbolts went wild, ricocheting off the walls and missing their targets by yards. One of her bolts bounced off a pole and burst through a packing crate in the corner, another blew the head clean off of Princess Twilight’s parade float (which was, all things considered, not the worst thing that could have happened.) As the creatures started to swarm closer and closer to her, Luna summoned up the last reserves of her magic and with a strangled shout she shot a stream of screaming spellbolts into the air.
The spells hung in the air like dozens of tiny fireflies before raining down on her targets below. They fell like great raindrops of fire, splashing in the middle of the swarm and scattering the rats with tremendous magical force. They scrambled around the courtyard, trying in vain to avoid Luna's firestorm but each one that managed to escape left two of its fellows to vanish in black puffs of smoke. When the dust settled and the last spellbolt had fallen, less than half the rats remained standing and those that were held back out of fear.
“Alright…who’s next?” Luna panted. The rats reared up, clustering together to attack but stopped as a loud hissing noise filled the air. They started looking around fearfully and scurried back into the shadows that they came.
“Ha!” Luna squeaked triumphantly. “That’s right! Run back to into the hole you crawled out of because you don’t want none of what I’m selling!”
Luna considered doing a brief victory jig but the hissing that had scared the rats off only grew louder after they left. Luna cast around fearfully, wondering if some great fearful snake monster had frightened the rats off. As she scanned the room and finally discovered the source of the hissing, Luna actually wished it had been a giant snake monster instead.
A massive crate in the corner had started sparking, smoking and sizzling in response to Luna’s spellbolt storm. On the side of the crate, a sign in large red lettering read:
Luna gaped in speechless horror as the crate started jumping, sparking and whining with the sound of impending technicolor destruction.
“Oh…come on!” Luna croaked as the box burst into flames.
Stats
Page generated in 0.027 seconds
Total duration
884 users online
1,362,240 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Oh, what would life be like without Little Loony Luna to brighten our days?
They would, I imagine, be filled with much less screaming and exploding, on account of her not brightening our days with errant fireworks.
National security!
Well, you've done it again. Another slice of well-written setup and superb scene-setting and I look forward to more.
THERE BE NO LIKE BUTTON ON THE CHAPTER PAGE
*take screen shot*
*cut and paste green like button on top*
*click*
bask in the glory that is, TECHNOLOGY!!!
i hope luna is right i want to see her given the right to laugh! i want them all too feel bad because frankly at this point they deserve it
2700646
No, of works there. Works there just fine especially considering the language.
The secondhand embarrassment is strong in this chapter. I kept wanting Tirek to burst out and start blowing things up just so I would be able to stop cringing for Luna.
Clothes for everypony, because Rarity? But of course.
Celestia is going to arrive just in time to see her sister blow up the parade float (and possibly some of the surrounding warehouses) with fireworks, isn't she? Poor Luna.
The action scenes you write are amazing.
The dialogue scenes you write all flow perfectly.
And, indeed, ice-cream solves problems.
I always look forward to another chapter.
Just to prevent you from any embarrassments, there is another AU (which is an expanded shared universe, btw) which is called the Lunaverse, so you should better call it something else.
2702336
Okay then...how about the Royalverse?
2703671 Hmmmm.... Ok.
Oh believe me, I like! Please... Continue!
2730836
Okay, will do!
2730771
The "Duke's Archive" was something I pinched from the video game Dark Souls. In it, a dragon is made duke and given a great archive of magical knowledge to watch over.
2730771
My post about the first flame was referring to part of the plot of the game Dark Souls, which the author explained the Duke's Archives are a reference to. I found that connection quite unsettling, since the Duke dragon character in the game was a classic mad scientist archetype and one of the most evil and frightening characters.
To be honest, I usually dislike shout outs like that since they break my immersion. And although it isn't the case in this story, I've seen people use them really hamfistedly and sabotage important scenes. Like to the point of a character making a speech at the climax of their personal development that was word for word copied from a TV show and not appropriate for the situation at all, causing the big emotional moment to fall flat. Or sometimes authors shoehorn stupid jokes into a scene with no purpose besides making an allusion, so if you don't recognize what they're alluding to you won't understand what happened.
Despite my general distaste for such references, the Duke's Archive passes my rule of thumb: if you didn't know about Dark Souls, you wouldn't be confused by the reference, because it fits smoothly with the plot and makes sense. Plus I really like Dark Souls. So I couldn't resist a somewhat hypocritical HEY I KNOW THE THING post.
Somehow I get the feeling that demon rat things won't be easily explained to anyone.
2733498 Good to hear! ...And submit this fanfic to Equestria Daily already!
2736926
I'm going to wait until the next update because the next chapter is when we (finally) get all the exposition done and on to the core of the story.
Yeah, believe it or not we're still in the prologue. Hell's bells I need to get this show on the road already.
2738733
Yes. Yes, you do.
Oh, poor Luna. It's like some cosmic entity is conspiring against her. Something called... the author.
But no seriously, this story continues to be great.
You make good use of action and comedy to control the pace and mood here.