> A Glint of Light on Broken Glass > by Dr_DeDeDe > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Prologue: Uneasy Dreams and Inconvenient Truths > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me a glint of light on broken glass” -Anton Chekhov Princess Luna woke in darkness to the sound of her sister screaming for her to stop. Through the cracks in her icy black prison, Luna heard her sister begging for her to just lower the moon and come home with her. Celestia tried to apologize, promising to appreciate the night more if she would just stop this madness and let the sun rise again. Outside the castle walls, Luna heard chaotic cries of anguish and confusion. Millions of ponies cowered in fear of a night that had gone too long and cried for a sun that had failed to rise. Luna tried to tell her sister that she was sorry too; that she only wanted a little appreciation and that she never wanted things to go this badly. But something else's voice came out of her mouth, cruelly mocking the sun princess' pleas. Luna gagged as something dark slithered around her throat and squeezed ugly lies out of her mouth. The dark power that she conjured out of her own selfish misery had fully possessed her; she could not even blink an eye without the nightmarish entity violently seizing control of her again. She was powerless to stop herself from bearing down on Celestia, horn aglow with malicious magic. Luna's head split open as dark magic flowed from her horn and snaked its way around Celestia's neck. She called out for her sister but all that came out of her mouth was a high pitched laugh that echoed in her mind as endless darkness once again overtook her. Luna jerked awake violently, scattering her notes and knocking over a mug of tea long gone cold. Muttering darkly to herself, she fumbled around her desk for something to mop the spill up, finally settling for a t-shirt that should have gone to the laundry days ago. How long was I asleep? Luna thought, opening the blinds above her desk and squinting out the window. The night sky began to turn pink at the horizon and a quick check of her clock on the wall showed it to be a little before four on a Saturday morning. Outside, construction crews were setting up tents and lining the buildings with flags in preparation for a celebration the likes of which Equestria had never seen. Even now, ponies were milling around in the predawn air, excitedly preparing for a party nearly one thousand years in the making. And yet, Luna could not sleep. Even before she dozed off into yet another nightmare, a small knot of concern had wormed its way into the back of the young unicorn's mind and refused to let go, no matter how hard she tried to forget about it. A tattered old book lay on her desk, open to the page that had first kindled her concern. Luna balled up her wet shirt and lobbed it into the overflowing laundry basket as she turned back to the book, quill ready to take notes. ...and so, at the edge of the Great Pit did the Princesses of Harmony and the Tyrant King Tirek do battle. Four score days and nights the Princesses hounded their foe until, at last, They smote the demon with all Their radiant power and broke him against his ruined Castle Midnight. With terrible chains of adamant and dragonsteel, the Duke of Canterlot bound the Tyrant tightly to his monstrous servants and cast them all down into the endless black that is Tartatus. As he fell, Tirek swore that a day would come when the Princesses' power would fail Them and he would return to claim what was rightfully his. On the longest day, one thousand years after his demise, earth and sky would rebel against the false goddesses as storms and earthquakes ravaged the world. A dread legion of nightmarish minions would flock to his side as the Tyrant rises from the Pit to subjugate all ponykind. Taken from a High Equestrian Ballad detailing the fall of Tirek the Terrible and the ascension of Their Royal Highnesses. Translated by Dusty Tome, Royal Canterlot Archivist, RY665 “Storms...earthquakes...minions returning to his side...” Luna mumbled, chewing on the end of a quill thoughtfully. She stood up quickly, acting on a sudden hunch. Crossing the room to a bulging bookcase, the small unicorn started pulling books and notes out at random. Everything from Pre-Equestrian History to A Geomagical Survey of Canterlot RY999 to Reports on Bestiary and Behavior of Common Equestrian Monstrosities, Vol. 157 No. 3 were pulled unceremoniously from their shelves and flung on her bed. Grabbing a quill, a highlighter, and spare scroll from her desk, Luna started paging through each book simultaneously with her magic, scanning the pages as fast as she could turn them, cross referencing dates and times, highlighting entire blocks of text with a practiced flick of a highlighter and copying them to a scroll with a simple Copycat Spell. The more weather almanacs and reports of monster sightings she read, the more she felt a growing sense of unease slither into the back of her mind. Fishing her saddlebag out from under desk, she crammed her notes into her books and shoved them in the bag. She threw a light jacket over her sweats as she slammed the door to her dormroom behind her. Within moments, she was outside her dorm building, hooves crunching on frosty grass as she made her way across campus to the Duke's Archive at the center of the school. The oldest and grandest library in Equestria, the Duke’s Archive towered over the heart of the Royal Canterlot University. More than twice the size of the most opulent royal palace, the Archive was the personal treasure trove of the Duke of Canterlot and every bit the grand hoard of knowledge befitting of a dragon of his position. Despite the fact that Luna had spent weeks of her free time browsing the bottomless stacks of books, Luna still hadn't seen a fraction of what the Archive had to offer and doubted she'd live to see it all. Luna approached the massive library doors fixed with massive jade dragon head knockers, raising a hoof and knocking shortly. She stepped back as the jade dragon statues flared to life with a burst of green magic and regarded her with identical empty stares. "The Archives are off limits to students until classes resume in the Fall. The right knocker said in a hollow voice that echoed throughout the empty courtyard. "Please identify yourself and state your business or leave the way you came. The left knocker said. "Luna. Sophmore. Unicorn." Luna recited mechanically. "Requesting permission to enter the archives under special authorization granted by Her Royal Highness Princess Twilight and His Grace The Duke of Canterlot." There was a moment of silence as the dragons silently processed her command before great stone doors slid open, inch by thundering inch. "Special access confirmed. The right dragon said as Luna passed into the Archive. "Welcome back to the Duke's Archive, Luna. The left dragon added as the doors slid shut behind Luna with a deafening thud. The high domed ceiling loomed above her, pale sunlight trickling through the eastern windows and shining on the forest of books before her. In the soft werelight coming from phantom candles hanging on the wall, Luna saw miles of bookshelves stretch out before her and rise dozens of stories in the air. Most days, the ancient mahogany tables were crammed with students studying for exams, conducting research, or working on special projects. But classes were over for the year and Luna’s hoovesteps echoed through the cavernous library uninterrupted by the chatter and clamor of her fellow classmates. Just the way Luna liked it. She would have liked to spend this Saturday morning perusing the older sections of the library as she always did but today she had business to do. Making her way over to an alcove on the side of the main floor, Luna set her bags down on a nearby table and approached the empty help desk. A long chain hung down from the ceiling beside a sign that read "Please Ring Bell for Spiders." Luna took hold of the chain and gave it three sharp tugs. Ding! Ding! Ding! Three light airy bell chimes echoed throughout the library followed by the sound of dozens of tiny mechanical legs scurrying about on the marble tiles. Within moments of ringing the bell, three crystal spiders slid down from the ceiling on spun silksteel strings and perched on a desk nearby. Eight delicately crafted green crystal legs supported a purple crystal body the size of a small music disc. They looked up at Luna with eight glowing green eyes, clacking their jaws together noisily and awaiting Luna’s request. “I need Magical Seals and Barriers by St. Trixie the Great, Leylines of Equestria by Geo Maestro, and Canterlot: An Architectural History by Marble Arches 1st Edition.” Luna said without preamble. Wordlessly the book spiders scurried off in different directions in search of Luna’s requests and Luna herself flopped down in a nearby chair to organize her notes. Before she could even get her notes out, the spiders returned with books delicately clenched in their jaws. Luna tipped each spider a copper bit from her purse and dove right into her research as the spiders scurried away. . The rising sun crept into the library as Luna checked and cross checked reports of monster attacks with founts of magical energy. The more Luna read, the more that tiny little twinge of worry grew into mild concern which grew into serious preoccupation which finally evolved into full blown panic that set her teeth on edge. She double checked her research, cross referencing it against her findings from earlier and eloquently summarized her findings thusly; “Oh...crap.” Luna’s hooves clattered on the marble tile and echoed through the palace halls as she galloped towards Princess Twilight’s chambers. Her saddlebag stuffed with research thumped uncomfortably against her side as she tore through empty castle down familiar corridors with practiced efficiency. She had traveled these particular halls hundreds of times, up past the grand ballroom, right at the Hall of Records, taking a shortcut through the laundry room before dashing through the double doors leading to Princess Twilight Sparkle’s personal quarters. A small mansion in its own right, the personal quarters of Princess Twilight were as familiar to Luna as was her own dormroom. The stately hardwood floors, crushed purple velvet curtains and the unmistakable aroma of books old and new helped set Luna at ease as she made her way to the princess’ office. She knew from habit that Princess Twilight was an early riser who liked to get the jump on the day’s work in an office overlooking the Canterlot Royal Gardens; the same office that doubled as a classroom for Luna's bi-weekly sorcery lessons. She tore through the empty hallways with practiced speed, all the while fretting over how she was going to present her case to Princess Twilight. The evidence was irrefutable; Luna was sure of that. But needless to say, she wasn't exactly the most credible pony when it came to matters of national security. Luna was the first to admit that she had made some questionable calls in the past and more than once Luna's overreactions to "end of the world" scenarios had landed her in the Royal Guard holding cell until Princess Twilight picked her up. But Luna was confident that her teacher would look past these various mishaps and misdemeanors and judge her research on its own merits. At least, Luna hoped she would. Luna rounded the final corner leading to Princess Twilight’s office at full speed, bursting through the double doors and- “Ooph!” -ran headlong into a palace guard, armored and helmed in the purple and gold uniform of the Dusk Patrol. “Apologies, miss, but I cannot let you pass at the moment.” The young guard said sternly, offering Luna a hoof up. “Princess Twilight is currently occupied with official business and won’t be receiving visitors until-” The guard lifted his visor, squinting at Luna in the early morning light. “Oh, hey LuLu! Sorry didn’t know it was you!” “Lieutenant...how many times have I asked you not to call me that?” Luna sighed, cringing at his favorite nickname for her. “Oh, I don't know." The guard said, doffing his golden helm and shaking his shaggy blue mane out. "I guess about as many times as I’ve asked you not to call me lieutenant.” “So apparently not enough for you to get the message then.” Luna mumbled, dusting herself off. "You're up early." The guard said pleasantly. "Up late studying again? Or did you come to keep an old pal company as he patrols the lonely halls of the Twilight Palace?" "No!" Luna said sharply. “I mean...sorry, I don't have time to talk right now; I need to see Princess Twilight right away!” “Sorry, Luna.” The guard shrugged. “Aunt-sorry, Princess Twilight is out at the moment.” “What?!” Luna cried. “Wh-what do you mean she’s out?! Where could she possibly be this early on a Saturday morning?!” “Weeeeellllllll...if I remember correctly, she’s out meeting the delegations from the Crystal Empire and the Seaponies for breakfast and then she’s overseeing the dedication of the Millennial Park in Trottingham and then she's approving the security forms for the pyrotechnic displays in the Butterfly Garden and then she’s back here to meet with the guards to sign off on the security details for the Canterlot Millennial Gala Parade and then she’s-” “B-but I have to see her!” Luna cried. “This is a matter of-” “National security?” The guard asked. “It’s…yes, how did you know?” Luna said “Shot in the dark.” The guard said. “Look, if you want to see Princess Twilight you’re going to have to get in line…a very long line. One thousand years of peaceful rule is kind of a big deal for Their Highnesses and everypony from here to Trottingham wants a piece of them before the anniversary party.” “But I...ugh, fine." Luna sighed, rubbing her temples wearily. "Do you know when she’ll be back?” “Not until after the party.” The guard said. “Her schedule is packed with appointments and I think she and the other Princesses are staying at Princess Rarity’s palace until tomorrow night.” “Tomorrow night?!” Luna said. “I can’t wait that long! Canterlot could be a smoldering pile of rubble by tomorrow night!” “Uh huh.” The guard said flatly. “Of course it will be.” “Do you really think I would trouble Princess Twilight on the eve of the biggest celebration of the millennium if I didn’t think the entire world was in mortal peril?!” Luna said. “Well, given your definition mortal peril-” “This is different!” Luna cried. “I’ve got real proof this time and I need to see Princess Twilight!” “I don’t know what to tell you, Luna.” The guard sighed. “If you really think this is something to bother Princess Twilight about-” “It is!” Luna said. “Then you are welcome to track her down for a moment of her time.” The guard said. “Barring that, there’s nothing I can do for you.” “You’re a lieutenant of the Dusk Patrol; there has to be something you can do!” Luna said. “Look…I know I may have given you reason to distrust me in the past but I promise you, something big is coming. The royal guards need to be on full alert for any sign of trouble!” “The royal guards are always on full alert.” The guard said firmly. “It’s kind of in the job description. What exactly are we supposed to be on alert for?” “Anything! Everything!” Luna took a deep breath, deciding to trust the lieutenant with this newfound secret. “Lieutenant…you need to warn the other guards that Tirek the Terrible is going to return tomorrow night!” Luna paused to let the gravity of her mission impress itself on the guard. He stared at her mouth agape, no doubt completely horrified by her discovery and dumbstruck by the realization that his tiny world had been turned on its ear in just a few short moments. He was no doubt running through the list of things he had to do to protect Canterlot against its ancient enemy and the look of disbelief on his face was likely the result of complete and utter shock. At least, that’s what Luna thought. “Tirek?” The guard said flatly. “Yes!” Luna said. “The old tyrant from the dawn of Equestrian history?” The guard sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Yes!” Luna cried. “The one that hasn’t been seen or heard from since Their Highnesses rainbow blasted him into the bowels of the earth?” The guard said. “Y…yes.” Luna said. “And you think he’s going to show up tomorrow night based on what, exactly?” The guard said. “A...a book.” Luna said. “Which book?” The guard countered. “Dusty Tome’s Intro to Equestrian Lore and Legends Volume 1.” Luna mumbled. “Come again?” The guard said. “D-Dusty Tome’s Intro to Equestrian Lore and Legends Volume 1.” Luna said. “But it’s not just-” “So let me see if I've got this right.” The guard said, cutting Luna off. “You want me to go to my superiors and tell them that they need to scramble the guards and cause complete and utter panic in the ranks on the eve of the biggest security detail in the past thousand years...because a fairy tale told you that a dead tyrant is coming back to life?” “It sounds far fetched, I know, but-” “It sounds insane, even for you Luna.” The guard groaned. “You do realize this sounds, insane don’t you?” “I have proof!” Luna said, fumbling around in her saddlebags for her notes. “Monster encounter rates have been skyrocketing for the past six months! Weather anomalies have been wreaking havoc up and down the heartland! Canterlot has had more than ten minor earthquakes since-” As if on cue, the palace rumbled and the ground beneath Luna’s hooves started quivering. By the time she stumbled over to an archway for support, the shaking stopped with only a few displaced pictures and books knocked from their shelves to show for it. “See?!” Luna cried. “What do you call that?!” “I call that an earthquake.” The guard said. “Canterlot’s built on the greatest nexus of magical energy in Equestria. There’ve been minor magical tremors for as long as there’s been a city here.” “But what about the weather?!” Luna said. “You have to have noticed the increase in storm activity lately!” "Do I look like a pegasus to you?" The guard said, turning around to display his lack of wings. "I'm just a simple earth pony; take it up with the Weather Department if you have a problem." “Then what about all of the monster encounters?!” Luna said. “Orcs gathering in the Everfree Forest?! Reports of Cyclopes coming down from their mountain caves?! Wyrms tunneling under Fillydelphia and all of them happening at the same time or close to the earthquakes and storms! Don't you see what this means?!” “Okay…I’ll admit there have been a few more ugly customers crawling around lately.” The guard conceded. “But that doesn’t mean some ancient undead monster who hasn't been so much as sighted for the past millennium is coming back to eat us all in our sleep!” “But…you…and…” Luna stammered ineffectually, fumbling around for anything to convince the guard of her mission. “Protip: you may want to work on that sales pitch if you’re intent on talking to Princess Twilight.” The guard said. “Fine!” Luna groaned. “I can see I’m wasting my time here. If Princess Twilight comes back, tell her that-” “Zombie King Tirek is returning from the grave to destroy ponykind?” The guard said. “Just tell her I’m looking for her!” Luna said, cramming her notes back in her bag. “Will do.” The guard said. “So…you want to stay and chat for a bit or-” “Can’t!” Luna said. “The fate of Equestria is resting in my hooves and I need to find Princess Twilight before we all end up dead or enslaved to madman!” “Alrighty then.” The guard said pleasantly. “Have a good day!” “So long.” Luna huffed, turning to leave. “Thanks for nothing Shining Armor!” “You’re welcome LuLu!” Shining Armor called after her, chuckling at the exasperated groan she trailed down the hall. Needless to say, Luna was in a foul mood as she left the palace. As much as she hated to admit it, her conversation with Shining Armor demonstrated that she wasn’t exactly the most…credible pony when it came to matters of national security. Princess Twilight had a remarkable amount of faith in her but Luna feared she had tested that faith more than she should have and her line of credit with the Princess had been effectively exhausted. Now that she had something provable, nopony would give her the chance to prove it. If any other pony or even one of the other princesses came to Princess Twilight with this information, she wouldn’t hesitate to- Luna stopped dead in her tracks as the beginnings of an idea kindled in her mind. Alone, she was just the Mare Who Cried Timberwolf one too many times. But if she could somehow convince one of the other princesses to side with her…she might be able to convince Princess Twilight that she was telling the truth. But Luna wasn’t nearly as familiar with the other Princesses as she was with Princess Twilight. She rarely saw them at the few social events that she attended and didn’t know them well enough to barge in their homes and demand that they listen to her story. Nopony in the city could claim that they knew the Princesses well enough for that except for- Luna sighed, racking her brain for any other alternative but quickly coming up short. There was one pony that could get her in to see the rest of the princesses; one pony whose penchant for small talk and extensive social circle brought her into contact with each Princess on more than one occasion...enough to get Luna a personal audience with each of them. There was one pony that could help Luna convince the others of Tirek’s threat in time to save Canterlot but enlisting her help would mean swallowing months of pride and waking a beast whose early morning mood rivaled Tirek’s threat in magnitude and ferocity. As much as she loathed admitting it, she was going to need her sister’s help for this. > Raising the Sun > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Raising the Sun “Celestia!” Luna called, rapping on her sister’s door. “Celestia, wake up! I need to speak with you!” There was a rustling from inside and a sleepy voice grumbled something that sounded like “guhway.” Luna looked around at the mass of red plastic cups, half eaten cupcakes and empty pizza boxes bursting out of the trashcan outside Celestia’s dorm with a wrinkled nose. Ripped streamers and party signs dangled from peeling tape on the doorframe and half inflated balloons sagged pitifully from their strings tied to the streetlights. With all the streamers, confetti and smashed pastries smeared on the walls, it looked like Celestia's apartment picked a fight with a gang of clowns and lost miserably. “Celestia! I need to talk to you immediately!” Luna yelled, pounding on the door again. “It’s-” Luna stopped short as the door to the townhouse flung open and a frazzled pair of fillies staggered out, wincing at the sunlight and mumbling half apologies as they bumped past Luna. Luna rolled her eyes and trotted inside the flat that her sister shared with three other mares. It was completely dark save for a single beam of sunlight trickling in through a crack in the windows; enough light for Luna to see that the tiny apartment was in complete disarray. Empty cups and half empty bottles were stuffed in bags and piled in every corner. One of Celestia’s flatmates was curled up on the couch, rocking back and forth with her head buried in the trashcan and an unknown colt was passed out on the kitchen table with punchbowl on his head. In the middle of the living room floor, a pile of blankets stirred and groaned as Luna closed the door behind her with a soft thud. “Celestia?” Luna called softly. The bundle of blankets groaned and shrunk in on itself. “Celestia is that you?” “Guhway.” The blankets repeated. “Celestia, I need to talk to you, this is-” “Mmm…chumblacklatr…” The blankets moaned. Luna prodded the bundle with her hoof. It hissed like a cat dropped in a bath and a single lavender eye glared at her from underneath the blankets. “Celestia?” Luna said. “Mnngh...Celestia's not here right now.” The bundle grumbled. “Come back…come back when the sun is warm.” “The sun is always warm, Celestia.” Luna said, flicking back the curtains and flooding the room with sunlight, eliciting groans of pain and confusion from the passed out ponies in the living room. “That’s what makes it the sun.” “Ugh…no! Why?!” The bundle moaned, shrinking away from the sunlight. “Celestia, get up, I need to talk with you.” Luna said “Nnnoooo…just leave me here to die.” The bundle sobbed. “What on earth are you doing on the floor?” Luna said, lifting a corner of the blanket and peeking inside. “Sleeping.” Celestia said, rising from her bundle with a great shake of her frizzled pink mane. “You know, the thing that most sane ponies do at-” Celestia glanced at the wall clock with a groan. “Six in the morning on a Saturday?! Are you kidding me right now Luna?!” “Oooh…please don’t yell.” The mare on the couch moaned, burying her head in the trashcan. “Yelling makes my hair hurt.” “I haven’t seen you since Hearth’s Warming Eve and you suddenly show up at six in the morning on a Saturday, no letter, no phonecall-” “I know, I know.” Luna sighed. “I’m sorry, Celestia, I wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t absolutely urgent!” “Awww, how nice.” Celestia cooed. “It makes me feel so warm and fuzzy to know that my little sister wouldn’t have visited me unless she absolutely had to.” “N-no, that’s not what I meant!” Luna said. “That came out wrong, let me start over; Celestia, I need you to-hey, where are you going?” Celestia shook off the blanket and extended her willowy white wings in a lazy stretch, trotting towards the room across from the kitchen. “Shower; back in five. Make yourself at home.” Celestia said, slamming the door to another fresh chorus of moans from the afflicted ponies. Luna pulled a chair out from the kitchen table and scooted it as far away from the barely conscious stallion as she could. Her eyes wandered the room idly in her sister’s absence, passing over various concert posters, art prints, and pictures of her sister and her friends smiling and laughing and pushing each other around. A few of them even showed Celestia dressed up and posing with authors, artists, and (to Luna’s relief) members of the aristocracy. Awards for aeroathletic excellence lined the ceiling displaying the names and cutie marks of the girls who lived there. Luna noted that her sister’s signature sun cutie mark gleamed back at her from most of them. A framed picture on the farthest wall labeled RY999 Varsity Mare’s Aerial Volleyball Club D1 Champions showed Celestia posing with a dozen of her teammates hoisting a huge golden trophy over their heads. The door behind her opened and Celestia stepped out of her room wearing a pink terrycloth bathrobe, her mane pulled back into a perky ponytail and the worst of her hangover washed away by a brisk shower. Standing a full head and shoulders above the tip of Luna’s horn, her sister was an impressive figure, especially for a pegasus. Despite her considerable size, she was hardly clumsy or awkward, exuding a natural physical grace in motion that made Luna absolutely loathe her just a tiny bit. “So,” Celestia said, dumping half a bag of coffee into the coffee maker. “To what do I owe this extremely early visit?” “I’m sorry to get you up so early and barge in unannounced but this is-” Luna shot a sidelong glance at the other occupants in the room. “A-actually, I think this is a conversation we should have in private.” “Oh don’t mind them. Aerial Ace is still half drunk from yesterday and the stallion is just-” Celestia squinted at the stallion sprawled out on the kitchen table. “Actually, I have no idea who this guy is.” “And you just let him into your apartment?!” Luna hissed, scooting further away from the groggy stallion. “Probably came with one of the other girls.” Celestia mused. “People were in and out of here all night so he probably drifted in towards the end and just forgot to drift out again.” “And you’re not bothered by the fact that there’s a strange stallion just lying on your kitchen table?!” Luna whispered. “Meh, I’m used to it by now.” Celestia shrugged. “I’ve usually got some trash to clean up on Saturday mornings of one kind or another.” “So I take it that the bags of garbage in every corner aren’t some kind of avant garde décor you're experimenting with and you had another one of your infamous parties last night?” Luna said. “You know I did!” Celestia huffed. “I invited you, remember?” “Y-you did?” Luna said. “S-sorry, must’ve got lost in the mail or-” “I slid it under your door.” Celestia said flatly. “R-really?” Luna squeaked. “W-well it must’ve gotten lost in the shuffle; you know how crazy my room gets around finals, right?” “Uh huh.” Celestia said, pouring two mugs of coffee and sliding one over to Luna. “Look, Luna, I get that my idea of a fun night out doesn’t exactly match yours but it would be nice to see you more than once a term... preferably not first thing on a Saturday morning but-” “I’m sorry, I really am.” Luna said. “But I’m here now and I need your help! This is a matter of-” “National security?” Celestia said, raising an eyebrow. “Uh…well, yeah.” Luna said. “How did you know?” “Shot in the dark.” Celestia sighed, ducking down behind the counter and rummaging through the cabinets. “What are you doing?” Luna asked as her sister returned with a bowl and a bag of pancake mix clutched between her teeth. “Pancakes.” Celestia said simply, dumping the entire bag of pancake mix into the bowl followed by an entire bag of chocolate chips. “It’s Saturday morning, my head feels like the entire Canterlot University hoofball team ran it over, and my little sister just dropped by for the first time in months at six in the morning crying about national security. Times like these demand pancakes; you want some?” “N-no thanks.” Luna said as Celestia dumped a basket of strawberries into the batter, stirring it idly with a spatula she clipped to the tip of her wing. “I don’t really have time for-” “There is always time for pancakes.” Celestia said sternly, tipping the entire bowl of batter on the griddle to form one giant pancake. “Especially at six in the bucking morning.” “Well…technically it’s six-thirty now and-” Celestia shot her sister a glare. “A-and that’s really not why you’re upset, is it?” Celestia flipped the giant pancake with a flip of her wing spatula. “I’m upset because the only time I seem to see you anymore is over vacation or at some academic function or regarding matters of, ahem, “national security.” Every time I invite you anywhere you always have some lecture to attend or some private lesson to go to or some essay to write on magical mystery cures or whatnot. It feels like it’s been a thousand years since I’ve seen you last.” “I’m…I’m taking a pretty full course this year.” Luna muttered. “I’m really busy.” “And I’m not?” Celestia said. “Life in the Applied Meteorology department isn’t all rainbows and sunshine, you know.” “I thought you were double majoring in Rainbows and Sunshine.” Luna said. “We prefer to call it Visible Electromagnetic Artistry these days.” Celestia sniffed. “Rainbows and Sunshine” wasn’t the best name for our major; as descriptive as it is, you just don’t get taken seriously around the weather department. Visible Electromagnetic Artists are serious weather professionals responsible for managing daily light distribution; Rainbows and Sunshine Majors are unwashed hippies who braid each other’s manes and dance around on rainbows. You get what I'm saying?” “Uh huh” Luna said, eyes glazing over as Celestia babbled on about her classwork. “Sounds like…rigorous schoolwork.” “Please; I dream of rigorous schoolwork.” Celestia said. “If you had to do even half the calculations and prepwork we have to do to every day to make sure the sun rises and sets and lights all the places it should, your hair would curl…which might not be a bad look on you, now that I think about it.” “Uh-huh.” Luna said. “Look, Celestia, we can talk about your courseload and catch up later while we curl each other’s manes, but right now I need you to-” “Ooh…where am I?” The nameless stallion on the table groaned suddenly, stirring from his slumber and sending the punchbowl on his head clattering to the kitchen floor. “Looks like somepony is finally coming around.” Celestia said. “Nngh…is this…am I in Salt Lick City?” The stallion asked, sitting up and looking around. “Why would you be in Salt Lick City?” Celestia said, pouring another mug of coffee and passing it across the table to the ailing stallion. “Long story.” The stallion mumbled, glancing across the table at Luna. “Have…have we met before?” “N-no, I don’t think so.” Luna said, shifting uncomfortably under the stallion’s gaze. “You look…really familiar.” The stallion said. “Is he an ex-boyfriend you never told me about, Luna?” Celestia teased. “Shut up!” Luna hissed, turning red. “I’ve never seen this colt before in my life!” “Wait…wait, you’re…you’re the one who tackled that kid at the Canterlot Mall!” The stallion laughed. “I-I’m sorry, sir, I-I think you’re mistaking me for somepony else.” Luna said, trying to sink into her kitchen chair. “No, that was definitely you!” The stallion said. “My roommate’s cousin was the guy in the suit! You actually thought Cerberus was loose in the Canterlot Mall!” “It…it was a very convincing costume.” Luna mumbled sheepishly. "I didn't have my contacts in at the time so it was kind of hard to see..." “Oh my gods…you’re Loony Luna!” The stallion laughed. Luna winced at her least favorite nickname that had haunted her ever since the Canterlot Mall incident had hit the press. As somepony who hated the limelight in the best of circumstances, Luna locked herself in her dorm room until the tabloids with her arrest photo stopped circulating around campus. “Oh man, wait til the bronies back at Kappa Theta Phi hear about this!” The stallion laughed, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Let me get a picture really quick; the guys need proof that I found Loony Luna in the flesh!” The stallion snapped picture after picture of Luna rendered mute by mortification. She shot her sister a pleading look and Celestia made her way over to the kitchen table. “Excuse me.” Celestia said sweetly. “What was your name again?” “Huh?” The stallion said. “Oh, I’m Frisbee Golf.” “Uh huh.” Celestia said. “And that phone of yours, is it terribly expensive?” “Tch, duh!” Frisbee Golf said, rolling his eyes. “It’s only the Gjallarhorn 5 Platinum Edition. They only made about five hundred of these babies before the factory they were built in closed due to "equestrian rights violations" or some stupid crap like that. But my dad knows a guy who totally hooked me up.” “And it’s top of the line?” Celestia asked. “Well, yeah.” Frisbee Golf said. “This puppy can hold more than five hundred gigabytes of data and record over one hundred hours of high def video. It’s got web surfing, unlimited data streaming, wireless connectivity, Monkey Ninja 5-” “Ooh, sounds exciting.” Celestia said, feigning interest. “Do you think I could see it for a second?” “Uh…” Frisbee Golf said, looking down at his phone with a look on his face like a father asked to give up his only foal. “Okay…” “Wow, you weren’t kidding.” Celestia said, turning the phone over in her hooves. “This is top of the line.” “Like I said, it’s the best phone on the market today.” Frisbee Golf bragged. “And all these features!” Celestia squealed. “Camera, flash drive, music player…I bet it’s even waterproof too!” “Uh, well, not really.” Frisbee Golf chuckled nervously. “It isn’t?” Celestia said. “No, actually the smallest bit of moisture completely fries the circuits.” Frisbee Golf said. "One of the design bugs they never worked out before the feds shut them down." “So if you dropped it in, say, a cup of coffee it would be completely ruined beyond hope of repair?” Celestia asked innocently. “Of course it would be, why do you-” Before Frisbee Golf could finish his thought Celestia picked up her coffee cup and dunked the phone under the bubbling black brew as he looked on in horror. “Oh, shoot, would you look at that.” Celestia said flatly as the phone sparked, spluttered and died. “NO!” Frisbee Golf cried, fishing his ruined technology out of the coffee and cradling it in his hooves. “What the hell is your problem?!” “My problem?!” Celestia laughed bitterly. “What the hell is your problem?! You pass out on my kitchen table, three sheets to the wind, and the first thing you do when you wake up is insult the first mare you see?! Who even does that?! You have the gall to make fun of my sister in my house. You have the nerve to take pictures of her like she’s a circus freak for your dudebronies to ogle at back at your frathouse and then you ask what my problem is?!” “Listen you little-” Frisbee Golf snarled, rising from the table only to come up to the middle of Celestia’s neck at his full height. “You better…uh…y-you better-” “Here’s the deal, dude.” Celestia said in a deceptively sweet voice as she looked down at the shorter stallion. “You’re either leaving this apartment through that door or out that window. Your call, broski, but if I were you I’d opt for the door; its two stories down either way but at least the door leads to some stairs. I figured that might be a more pleasant way to go, given your lack of wings.” “Y-you can’t just talk to me like that!” Frisbee Golf said. “Just did.” Celestia said. “I’ll do worse than just talk to you if you don’t get your lousy flank out of my apartment and out of my sight in the next ten seconds.” Frisbee Golf started to say something nasty but quickly quailed under Celestia’s glare. He stumbled out the door mumbling dark curses under his breath and slammed it childishly behind him. “Make sure he doesn’t come to any more of our parties, won’t you Ace?” Celestia said to her roommate as she stumbled past her on the way to her room. “I know the Party Ban List is long enough as it is but I really don’t want to see that smug mug darken my doorway ever again.” “Mnn…kay.” Aerial Ace groaned, slumping into her room. “Well, now that that’s over-” Celestia said, turning back to Luna. “Hey, listen…about that-” Luna said. “Don’t mention it.” Celestia said. “No greasy haired frat-brony washout gets to smack talk my baby sister without getting put in his place.” “…thank you.” Luna said. She had forgotten how nice it felt to have somepony stick up for her. “Anytime.” Celestia said, slicing her giant chocolate fruit pancake in half and passing a slice to Luna drizzled in maple syrup. “Now, if I remember correctly you had something you wanted to talk to me about?” “Right.” Luna said, fishing her notes out of her bag. “How much do you remember from your Classical Equestrian History class?” “Considering it was more than two semesters ago and completely unrelated to my major?” Celestia said. “Nothing.” “Seriously, Celestia?” Luna sighed. “Do you at least remember why we’re having that gigantic party tomorrow?” “One thousand years of peaceful rule.” Celestia said. “Tomorrow marks Their Majesties’ coronation and the beginning of Equestrian history as we know it.” “Yes, but before that the Princesses overthrew the tyrant Tirek.” Luna said, taking her book out and passing it across the table. “Tomorrow is the anniversary of the day Tirek was destroyed.” “What’s this?” Celestia said, examining the book before her. “Is this a book of fairy tales?” “Legends.” Luna insisted. “Fairy tales are stories mothers invent to scare their children; legends have foundations in actual history. Here, read this part.” “Hm…blah blah blah…shadow of fear…blah blah blah…clever unicorn…blah blah blah…Elements of Harmony…” Celestia finished reading the passage and looked back up at Luna. “Okay, what’s the problem?” “What’s the problem?!” Luna spluttered incredulously. “Did you even read it?! "For one thousand years he vowed to wait, biding his time in his underground prison. On the longest day of the thousandth year, he would return to reclaim the land stolen from him by the clever unicorn and her friends!” “And?” Celestia said. “And tomorrow is the longest day of the thousandth year!” Luna said. “Don’t you see what this means?!” “Oh my gods, I think I do.” Celestia gasped. “It means that…you woke me up at six in the morning over a freaking fairy tale!” “Exactly!” Luna said. “We need to act fast before...wait, what?” Celestia slumped back over to the couch, flopping down on the cushions and pulled a blanket over her head. “Celestia!” Luna said, running over to her sister. “Going back to sleep now.” Celestia said, closing her eyes. “Come back when you’re not talking crazy.” “I’m not 'talking crazy', Celestia, I’m completely serious!” Luna said. “Are you?!” Celestia said. “Because the way you’re talking, it sounds like Pinkie Day came early this year and you’re trying-and failing-to prank me!” “Okay, two things.” Luna said. “Number one; when have I ever been one to celebrate Princess Pinkamena’s favorite holiday?” “I don’t know, maybe you grew a sense of humor in the time since I’ve seen you last.” Celestia said. "Stranger things have happened." “Number Two,” Luna said, barreling on. “I’m not just basing this on a legend; I have actual proof something big is happening! We’ve got monster sightings all over Equestria! Earthquakes under Canterlot are stronger and happening more often! Thunder and windstorms are tearing across-” “Did you sleep at all last night?” Celestia said suddenly, squinting at her sister’s bloodshot eyes. “Oh heavens, Celestia, is that really important right-” “When was the last time you got any sleep?” Celestia said, sitting up to look at Luna. “I get my sleep.” Luna said, yawning in spite of herself. “I was just...up late last night reading, that’s all.” “Are you still having those nightmares?” Celestia asked. “You promised me that you were going to talk to Princess Twilight if they didn't stop!” “I'm not having nightmares anymore!” Luna lied. “I was just doing some late night reading and had a hunch about this Tirek business and I wanted to follow up on it.” “A hunch?” Celestia asked. “You want to go to Princess Twilight with a hunch? On the evening of the Millennial Celebration when literally every single important pony, gryphon, dragon and seapony are scrambling over each other for a minute of her time, you want her to indulge a hunch based on a fairy tale and born out of sleep deprivation?” “It’s not just a hunch anymore and it’s not based on a fairy tale!” Luna said firmly. “I can prove it! I know I can! I just need to find Princess Twilight and get two minutes of her time!” “So what do you need me for?” Celestia said. “Why don’t you just go to Princess Twilight and talk to her?” “I tried.” Luna said. “She wasn’t in.” “Shocker.” Celestia said flatly. “The busiest pony in Equestria has a full schedule on the eve of a nationwide gala honoring her and her friends. Do you know when she’ll be back?” “She’s all over the place today.” Luna said. “Blinking between a hundred different locations getting her party plans in order. Shining Armor said she wouldn’t be back until tomorrow and it might be too late by then!” “So you want me to help you track her down?” Celestia said. “Canvas the city from the skies?” “No…not yet anyway.” Luna said. “That was my original plan but after talking to you and Shining Armor I’ve come to the conclusion that I may not be as…credible as I think I am. I need somepony to back me and my story up.” “And that’s me?” Celestia said. “Why?” “You’re popular.” Luna said. “You’re well liked and sociable in a way that I’m just…not. And I could use a little of that likability when I present my theory to the others.” “The others?” Celestia said. “What others…oh.” “Princess Twilight can write me off easily enough and it’s not like I haven’t given her reason to doubt me in the past. But if I can get just one other princess to listen to me and talk to Princess Twilight with me-” “Then you stand a better chance of convincing Princess Twilight to listen to you.” Celestia finished. “That's not a bad idea but I still don't know what good I'll be to you." “You know the other princesses!” Luna said. “I’ve met the other princesses a couple of times.” Celestia corrected. “We’re hardly poker buddies...although I did play cards with Princess Applejack at a party in Trottingham once.” “That’s better than I know them then!” Luna chuckled. “You can at least break the ice when I go to talk to them; you can help me convince them to go to Princess Twilight with me!” “How am I supposed to do that?” Celestia said. “I’m not sure if I believe you yet.” “I know it’s out there.” Luna said. “And it sounds completely crazy...but I’m right, Celestia, I know I am. Tirek is coming back tomorrow night and gods help us all if we’re not ready for him.” “And if you’re wrong?” Celestia said. “I’m not.” Luna said firmly. “But if you are then-” Celestia said. “Then we’ll spoil a party.” Luna said. “The biggest party in the history of Equestria.” Celestia corrected. “A celebration one thousand years in the making will get ruined for nothing and-” “And the guards do a little extra work.” Luna said. “I think I’ll take that chance.” “It's not just that;you do realize you’re also running the risk of Princess Twilight never believing another word you say?” Celestia said. “Your line of credit with your mentor is dangerously close to running out.” “You’re exaggerating, Celestia.” Luna said. “There hasn't been that many-” “June 11, RY998.” Celestia rattled off. “You overheard a researcher at the chemistry lab saying that he had a “big kaboom” planned for Princess Applejack’s 1026th birthday celebration. You scrambled the city watch, the Royal Dragoons, the Dusk Patrol and the Green Marines and locked the campus down for half the day.” “I thought there was going to be an assassination attempt!” Luna said. “And was there?” Celestia asked. “N-no.” Luna said, sheepishly. “What were they doing?” Celestia said. “They…they were developing a new kind of firework to show off at the party.” Luna admitted. “But that was-” “March 18th, RY998.” Celestia continued. “The Seapony Condense arrives in Canterlot to solidify a trade agreement between the kingdoms of Equestria and Alternia. As per sacred seapony tradition, Her Imperial Condensation bakes Their Highnesses an extravagant cake to sanctify their new treaty. Everypony would have eaten it and concluded the deal…if you hadn’t dropped down from the rafters and splattered the cake all over everyone in the conference room.” “Okay, that was a little crazy, but in my defense, one of the Condense’s guards made a pretty sketchy remark about how Princess Twilight was “really going to enjoy the special ingredient." I thought the special ingredient was some kind of poison!” Luna insisted. “And was the cake poisoned?” Celestia said. “N-no.” Luna said. “What was the special ingredient?” Celestia said. “C-cream custard.” Luna mumbled. “Cream custard.” Celestia said. “There would have been a diplomatic incident if you weren’t so covered in cake that Princess Twilight could pass you off as a giant raccoon that accidentally scampered in through the ventilation shaft.” “N-not one of my finer moments, I’ll admit.” Luna chuckled nervously. “But it’s not like I do this kind of thing every-” “And lest we forget the Great Banana Stand Incident last summer when you-” “You swore you would never speak of that again!” Luna cried, blushing furiously. “I’m still picking walnuts out of my bathing suits!” Celestia said. “The beach has completely banned the sale of frozen bananas within a two mile radius! Sales of Mr. Bananagrabber merchandise plummeted to the point where the company who made them went out of business! And that's not even counting what happened to Aerial Ace!" "What happened to Aerial Ace?" Luna asked. "Hey Ace!" Celestia called. The door across from the kitchen opened and Celestia’s beleaguered roommate stuck her head out. “Yeah, Tia?” “Bananas.” Celestia said simply. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Aerial Ace dashed out the front door as fast as she could, flying down the block screaming bloody murder “So…she still does that?” Luna said. “Ever since last summer.” Celestia said, eyes glazing over as she was lost in memory. "I...I never knew a frozen banana could do that to a person..." “Okay, okay, you made your point!” Luna said. “I understand what little credibility I have left is on the line here but…I have to risk it. This is too important not to.” “How noble; my little sister willing to risk being a social pariah to stand up for her beliefs.” Celestia swooned. “I’m already a social pariah.” Luna chuckled. “I’ve got nothing to lose.” “Alright.” Celestia said. "If you're really committed to seeing this through...I'll help you out." “Really?!” Luna said. “You’re going to do this whether I join you or not, aren’t you?” Celestia said. “I might as well come along to make sure you don’t assault any more teenagers.” “One time that happened!” Luna cried. “And hopefully, with your help, we can get this nasty business sorted out before things go sour.” “If you’re sure then.” Celestia sighed. “I’m sure.” Luna said. “I just hope you know what you’re doing.” Celestia said, retreating to her room for a moment to return dressed in sweatpants and her volleyball hoodie. “I don’t want to waste any of Their Highnesses’ time.” “Afraid people are going to start calling you ‘loony’ as well?” Luna teased. “Worried that your reputation is going to take a hit just by associating with me?” “Hey, don’t knock my reputation; it’s what’s getting you your little sitdown with the princesses.” Celestia said. “I know…thanks for sticking up for me, Celestia.” Luna said. “What are big sisters for?” Celestia said with a wink. “You owe me one though; you’re coming to my Millennial Anniversary Party tomorrow night.” “O-oh…okay.” Luna said. “Come on, it’ll be fun!” Celestia said. “We can play a few games, have a few drinks, hit on some good looking ponies together.” “Celestia!” Luna gasped. “Oh I’m sure we can find somepony small and bookish to seduce you with talk of old bearded wizards and those romantic fantasy novels you pretend not to read.” Celestia ribbed. “Celestia!” Luna blushed. “Alright, alright, keep your shirt on.” Celestia laughed. “So…where do we start?” > National Security > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- National Security The Butterfly Garden was the oldest and grandest public garden in Equestria. The crown jewel of Canterlot, the garden was a gift to the city from Princess Fluttershy on her five hundredth birthday,sprawling over nearly ten square miles of perfectly preserved wilderness in the heart of the bustling Equestrian capitol. More of a small forest than a garden, the Butterfly Garden was surrounded by a wall of tall beige trees capped with pink leaves that towered over the nearby buildings and shaded the garden in a soothing half-light. Stepping through the woven vine archway and into the garden itself, one could almost be forgiven for forgetting they were in the middle of a city. A magically enforced hush kept outside noise to a faint murmur and the soft light that filtered through the canopy filled the garden and everyone in it with a sense of ease. Hedge lined cobblestone trails guided visitors between the smaller flower gardens, picnic areas, and playgrounds scattered throughout the park. “Hidden” trails through the underbrush led to romantic rendezvous points and rushing rivers fed into a clear lake at the center of the garden nearly a mile across. And everywhere, there were animals. Nowhere in Equestria could you come so close to such a variety of animals in their natural environment. Rabbits and foxes bounded across the paths and stole from unsuspecting picnic baskets. Birds nestled in the canopy, singing an ever changing melody throughout the garden. Lions, tigers, and bears lounged on low hanging branches; generations of living in the park and Princess Fluttershy’s magic had made these fearsome predators docile if a little aloof. Rivers teemed with fish of every shape and size and the air was filled with thousands of butterflies lazily fluttering by on the breeze. At the farthest end of the park was a secret known to just about everyone who spent enough time wandering the garden. Surrounded by tall hedges that concealed it from the public, the Butterfly Villa was the personal retreat of Princess Fluttershy and the only area of the gardens off limits to the general public. A small, unassuming little villa in the forest, the villa was a little chunk of solitude that Princess Fluttershy could go to when things got too noisy in the capitol. So with thousands of ponies mobbing her royal palace to try and get an audience with her, Celestia knew there was only one place the camera-shy princess could be. “Are you sure she’s here?” Luna asked, peering up at the forbidding hedges skeptically. “There’s a long line of well-wishers at her palace that seems to think she’s at home right now.” “Which is exactly how I know she’s here.” Celestia said. “Legions of hanger-ons and busybodies are going to be swarming the palaces today trying to kiss up to the princesses and get in their good books before the festivities tomorrow. Dozens of photographers, journalists and amateur historians are flooding the palace grounds to try and get a quick interview or photograph that they can sell to the tabloids. Does that sound like the kind of place Princess Fluttershy wants to be right now?" “So you think she went to ground here?” Luna said. “Would her guards be here otherwise?” Celestia asked. “Guards?" Luna said, casting around for any sign of Princess Fluttershy's personal guards. "What guards?" Luna froze as she caught a glint of light in the underbrush. After a few moments, a green and silver clad knight stepped out of the brush, looked around suspiciously, and then blended back into the bushes as silently as he had emerged. “Those guards.” Celestia said. “And it's not going to be easy getting past them. There's no telling how many are crawling around in bushes or perched in the branches waiting to drop on us." “They don’t seem to be stopping the animals from going in.” Luna said as a lone tiger slunk through the gateway unaccosted by the guards. “Yes, Luna, but we’re not animals, are we?” Celestia said. “Not yet…hold still for a second.” Luna said, firing up her horn. “Whoawhoawhoawhoa!” Celestia hissed, skittering away from Luna. “Wh-what are you doing?!” “Just a simple spell to trick the guards; come here!” Luna said. “Wh-what are you planning to do to me?!” Celestia said. “You're not...you're not going to turn me into an animal are you?!” “Oh for the love of-I’m not going to turn you into an animal!” Luna hissed. “It’s just a simple illusion; now hold still.” Celestia squirmed uncomfortably as Luna’s magic flowed from her horn and down over Celestia like a waterfall. “Ewewewewew, why does it feel like you’re pouring a bucket of egg yolks over me?” “Do you get egg yolks dumped on your head often?” Luna chuckled. “Hey, how about you shut up and concentrate on whatever it is you’re doing down there.” Celestia grumbled. “I don’t want you to slip up and turn me into a newt with your freaky spellcasting.” “Don’t be a baby.” Luna sighed. Within moments, Luna’s spell formed a translucent shell around her sister and with a final spurt of magic, Celestia was gone, replaced by a shaggy brown grizzly bear. “Are you done?” Bearlestia said, opening a bleary brown bear eye. “I don’t feel any different.” “Well…you certainly look different.” Luna snorted, trying to contain her laughter. “What did you do to me?!” Bearlestia demanded, turning around in circles trying to see what Luna had done. “Nothing…just remember to growl and snarl if anypony talks to you.” Luna giggled “What are you talking ab...did you turn me into a bear?!” Bearlestia growled. “Okay, good growl but less words and more snarling.” Luna said, closing her eyes briefly and disappearing from view. “Luna?!” Bearlestia hissed, looking around for her sister. “Luna, where are you?” “Right here.” Luna’s voice whispered from behind Celestia. "An invisibility spell?!" Bearlestia growled. “Wait, you get the invisibility spell and I get turned into a bear?” “I didn't turn you into a bear; you just look like one.” Luna’s voice said. “Oh, because there’s such a difference!” Bearlestia hissed. “Okay, okay, we’re wasting time here.” Luna’s voice said. “Just walk through the gate; I’ll be right behind you.” “I am going to kill you for this.” Bearlestia groaned, rubbing her eyes with her paw. “No talking!” Luna’s voice hissed. “Just go!” Bearlestia pranced towards the villa’s gate, trying her hardest to look like an ordinary animal until she felt a small tug on her tail. “What?!” Bearlestia hissed. “You’re walking like a pony!” Luna’s voice hissed. “I’m walking like a…of course I’m walking like a pony, what do you expect me to walk like?!” Bearlestia growled. “A bear.” Luna’s voice insisted. “Legs bent, shoulders hunched and lumber. You’re a thousand pound mass of muscle and fat-” “Excuse me?!” Bearlestia shrieked in a decidedly un-bearlike falsetto. “You look like a bear; walk like one!” Luna’s voice said. “You’re enjoying this.” Bearlestia growled, hunching over and lumbering as best she could. "You brought me all the way out here just to laugh at me, didn't you?" “I assure you, Celestia, any enjoyment I may or may be getting out of this is purely coincidental.” Luna’s voice snickered. “Oh thanks, that makes me feel so much better.” Bearlestia said, rolling her giant bear eyes. The bear and her invisible sister trundled along the path leading up to the villa and for a moment, Luna thought everything was going according to plan. Then, out of nowhere, a pair of helmeted guards leapt from the bushes to block their paths. “Excuse me, citizen, this area is off limits to the public.” The guard on the right said. “Please state your business or return the way you came.” The guard on the right said “Uh…grrraaarggh?” Bearlestia growled, shrugging her gigantic bear shoulders. The guards lifted their visors and immediately snapped to attention. “S-Sir Bearington! S-sorry sir, didn’t see you there!” Right guard stammered. “R-rragh?” Bearlestia growled. “Forgive me, sir, Princess Fluttershy is in her usual space, go right ahead!” Left guard said, moving out of the way to let Bearlestia pass. “A-and this won’t happen again, I promise!” “Rrrarghh…” Bearlestia, not knowing what else to say. “Th-thank you, Sir Bearington!” Right guard said. “You are truly a gentlebear of great understanding!” “H-have a pleasant visit!” Left guard said. “Give the Princess our regards!” And with that, the guards disappeared into the underbrush, leaving a very confused bear and her invisible sister in their wake. “Sir Bearington?!” Luna hissed as they passed through a small archway leading to a fig orchard in the middle of the villa. “Why in the world would Princess Fluttershy knight a bear?!” “I think the better question is why in the world are you surprised?!” Bearlestia said. “And how long do I have to wander around looking like a bear? If I have to growl at one more guard, I swear I'm going to-” “Just a little longer, I promise. Once we locate Princess Fluttershy I'll-” Luna stopped as the ground beneath her shook ever so slightly. She thought it was another earthquake but after a few moments she realized they were coming from a set of hoofsteps. “Hide!” Luna said, grabbing her sister’s tail and dragging her behind a low garden bush. “Ow, let go of me!” Bearlestia snarled. “What are you-” “Fluuuuuutershyyyyyyyy!” Luna’s stomach flipped over as a thundering voice rattled ground and shook the leaves on the bush they were hiding behind. There were only six others in Equestria who could barge in Princess Fluttershy’s house and yell her name at the top of her lungs and she did not want to be found sneaking into Princess Fluttershy villa by any one of them. The heavy footsteps grew closer and Luna noticed that the bush beside her started blooming with berries and flowers months out of season. The trees above her creaked and groaned as the figs rapidly ripened and swelled on their branches to enormous sizes. Luna dived under the bush, pulling Celestia with her as a pair of long orange legs walked by. As they passed, each hoofstep caused the ground to erupt in a patch of tall grass and wildflowers. “Now where did that mare scurry off to?” The voice belonging to the footsteps muttered to herself. “I swear, every time there’s even a hint of commotion she scampers off to who knows where...” The voice turned the corner and Luna and Celestia ducked out of their cover to catch a glimpse of Princess Applejack walking the garden Enormous, even by alicorn standards, Princess Applejack stooped in the archway at a full eighteen hands tall. Lean, powerful muscles flexed under a light orange coat and her golden mane was braided with vines that seemed to grow from her scalp like hair. Clad in a golden crown set with three glittering apples and dressed in a green and gold gown, Princess Applejack scratched her head with the tip of her wing curiously as she scanned the courtyard. “Her guards wouldn’t be here if she wasn’t here.” Princess Applejack mumbled to herself, her immaculate Canterlot accent tinged with just a hint of country twang. She turned her back and Luna and Celestia scampered out from under their bush to hide behind a marble pole in the courtyard. “Now where could she…aha.” Princess Applejack turned around and Luna’s heart skipped a beat when she seemed to look right at them. But to her relief Princess Applejack stopped short of their hiding spot, bending down to come face to face with a small pink butterfly. “You almost fooled me there.” Princess Applejack chuckled as the tiny butterfly took to the sky. “I’ve been looking for you all morning!” Celestia and Luna shared a perplexed look as Princess Applejack continued to chat up the butterfly as it hovered in the air. Then, as if by magic, it split into two butterflies that danced around each other in the breeze. Those two split into to more butterflies which split into four more, which split into sixteen more, which split into thirty two more. Again and again the butterflies multiplied until a small cloud fluttered in the courtyard, the sound of thousands of wings flapping like wind through the trees. Finally, there was a flash of light, a sudden string of birdsong as the cloud of butterflies dispersed and Princess Fluttershy appeared shaking her mane out as a few stray butterflies scattered in the breeze. “Impressive.” Princess Applejack admitted, watching the last of the butterflies flutter off into the canopy. “Thank you.” Princess Fluttershy replied. “I’ve been practicing it for quite a while.” A head and a half shorter than Princess Applejack, Princess Fluttershy stood clad in a long green and blue gown decorated with jeweled butterflies and embroidered wildflowers. Almost immediately after she materialized, Luna felt a supernatural sense of calm wash over her like a cool morning breeze. The knot that had been slowly winding itself up in her chest relaxed a little as Princess Fluttershy stretched her wings gracefully. “If I had known you were trying on a new transformation, I would have brought my bug net.” Princess Applejack said. “I’d have an easier time getting a hold of you if I could just pluck you out of the sky and stick you in jar on my bookshelf.” “Sorry about that.” Princess Fluttershy sighed. “The palace is just absolutely dreadful today.” “Yeah, all these ponies lining up just to shower us with affection and presents are just the worst aren’t they?” Princess Applejack chuckled. “You know what I mean!” Princess Fluttershy said. “I know they mean well and I truly appreciate all of their…appreciation, but is it too much to ask for a few moments of peace and quiet before everything gets so loud tomorrow?” “It’s going to be loud tonight.” Princess Applejack said. “I'd start getting used to it now…or invest in some good earplugs.” “It’s not going to be so bad…I hope.” Princess Fluttershy said, fidgeting uncomfortably. “It’s just everything is getting so hectic so quickly and after all the commotion that's been going on, I was just hoping for a few hours alone to rest and collect my thoughts. I’m sorry I made myself so hard to find.” “We’ve both had it rough this week; I don’t blame you for looking for some quiet time.” Princess Applejack sighed. “Any more word on those wendigo sightings?” “Not since my Wild Rangers harried them away from the farms and into the forest.” Princess Fluttershy said. “The local guards say that they’ve gone to ground but…well, a little bird told me that something was lurking in the caves outside of Trottingham. I thought of sending the Rangers in but I don't want to risk their safety until we know more about the situation. I wish I had more information for you but-” “Ah, don’t worry too much.” Princess Applejack said with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “The Green Marines are mighty grateful that you could help us out like that. We’ve been spread thin enough as it is stabilizing farmland after these earthquakes; we need all the help we can get with monsters scurrying around.” Luna perked up at this comment; Princess Fluttershy was aware of the monster sightings and Princess Applejack was clearly concerned about the earthquakes. Maybe convincing them to support her wouldn’t be so hard after all. “What a week.” Princess Fluttershy sighed. Noticing her friend’s distress, Princess Applejack stamped a hoof and a pair of stumps shot up out of the ground. Branches curved up from the base to form a back and soon, both princesses were reclining on couches grown from living trees. “I suppose there’s no way of getting out of the party tomorrow, is there?” Princess Fluttershy chuckled weakly. “You can try,” Princess Applejack laughed. “But Princess Partygirl isn’t going to let you hear the end of it if you miss her Major Millennial Milestone Masquerade. She says she’s been planning it since our coronation.” “I believe her.” Princess Fluttershy said. “And I suppose there’s no hope of it being a nice, quiet dinner party with a small guest list of close friends?” “She mentioned something about parade floats, bungee jumping, motorcycle jousting, and fireworks at midnight; you tell me.” Princess Applejack said. “Fantastic.” Princess Fluttershy sighed. “Something tells me Rainbow had a hoof in planning all that commotion.” “I don't think she's had the time, to be honest with you.” Princess Applejack said seriously. “I tried talking to her this morning and she was up to her kneecaps in paperwork.” “On a Saturday?” Princess Fluttershy said. “Is everything okay?” “A couple of cantankerous storm fronts have been giving her grief all week.” Princess Applejack sighed. “Apparently she’s had to tangle with unauthorized lightning along the coast and rainclouds that just won’t behave themselves.” Odd weather patterns. Luna thought to herself. “Oh dear, does she need any help?” Princess Fluttershy said. “Nah, you know her.” Princess Applejack said, rolling her eyes. “The “Undisputed Queen of the Heavens, Magnificent Princess of Thunder and Lightning” needs no mortal help reining in rebellious rainclouds.” The two shared a laugh at their friend’s expense and just as Luna was about to make herself known- Thud Thud Thud A shadow flew over the sun, casting the courtyard into darkness as a massive pair of wings buffeted the air and rattled Luna's teeth. “Looks like we have company.” Princess Applejack said, barely batting an eye as a massive thump shook the figs from their trees with a series of wet sticky splats. “I thought they weren’t going to be back until tomorrow.” “Things with the gryphons must’ve gone better than expected.” Princess Fluttershy said, rising from her tree couch. "I’ll go and see about getting some refreshments for them; they must've flown all night to be here so early.” Princess Applejack rose from her seat as the most unlikely pair made their way into the courtyard. The first was a large, deadly looking dragon the size of Princess Applejack herself although Luna knew from experience that he could be much, much bigger. Dark purple and green scales shimmered and shifted over lean reptilian muscle, his smooth curved horns and leathery wings lending him a sharp, feral allure often found in dragons. The Duke of Canterlot was a very old, very powerful dragon who at this moment looked neither. He had a very long, complicated name unpronounceable by anyone incapable of belching fire on command but the easiest translation for Equestrians to use was “Spike.” The mare beside him possessed a beauty and grace that made Celestia look like an eight hundred pound flat footed grizzly bear without the help of Luna's magic. She walked with an unspoken aura of confidence so absolute that Luna found herself feeling braver just by being around her. Clad in a simple wine colored gown with a heart shaped ruby necklace, her windswept mane righted itself by magic as she threw her long white wings around Princess Applejack in a hug. “Princess Applejack!” Princess Rarity said, planting a brief kiss on each of her friend's cheeks. “What a surprise! I wasn’t expecting to see you here!” “Took the words right out of my mouth.” Princess Applejack laughed. “I thought you two were going to be in Leovolans talking with the ambassador until tomorrow.” “Things with the grypons went smoother than expected.” Spike chuckled. “Rarity had those stubborn birds wrapped around her hoof within within a couple of hours so we decided to fly back early.” “Please; you make it sound as if I did everything myself.” Princess Rarity said, lightly patting Spike on the shoulder. “Negotiating territory agreements is always easier when you have a fearsome dragon sitting at your side.” “You…you didn’t do anything that’s going to come back and bite us later, did you Spike?” Princess Applejack said nervously. “Don't worry;I know how to behave myself…most of the time.” Spike said, shooting a wink at Princess Rarity. “But I may have conspicuously picked my teeth now and then to make a point.” “You didn’t seriously snap your teeth at him, did you?!” Princess Applejack said. “He didn’t…I nearly did.” Princess Rarity admitted. “Why?!” Princess Applejack demanded. “The gryphon’s ambassador referred to the Spike as a, ahem, “great scaled attack dog" more than once!" Princess Rarity sneered distastefully. “The way he talked about him was disgraceful; as if he was Princess Twilight’s pet or some nonsense like that!” “It wasn’t that big of a deal.” Spike chuckled. “You shouldn’t have let him disrespect you like that! You are the Duke of Canterlot, darling, and a hero of this country in your own right.” Princess Rarity insisted. “The idea that you could ever be reduced to a mere dog is just disgusting! Disgraceful! I swear, if I ever see that grubby little bird again, I’ll-” “Alright, alright.” Spike said soothingly. “Point taken. Will it make you feel better if I just eat the next person who insults me?” "If you don't, I might." Princess Rarity sniffed. “Are you saying we almost had an incident because you threatened the gryphons’ ambassador?!” Princess Applejack said. “Oh it’s all just political bluster,” Princess Rarity said reassuringly, withdrawing an official looking document from a saddlebag on Spike’s back. “Run of the mill saber rattling with no real teeth to it. We said some things, they said some things, at one point they threatened to burn Canterlot to the ground, we had a nice summer salad for lunch-” “They did what?!” Princess Applejack squawked “Everything is perfectly fine.” Princess Rarity said soothingly. “And the towns along the border remain a part of Equestria, as we hoped they would be. New Mexicolt City, Sacramareto, New Trottingham, Ponyville-” “Ponyville?” Princess Applejack said, looking to Spike incredulously. “We seriously have a town called Ponyville?” “Apparently.” Spike shrugged. “I never heard of it either until it came up in the territory dispute.” “The name lacks the…creativity of a city like Fillydelphia, I admit, but it’s all ours; legally conceded by the Gryphonian Hierarchy as per our demands in exchange for the rights to cloud city development in the airspace southeast of the Everfree Forest.” Princess Rarity said, passing the treaty to Princess Applejack. “We’re not going to be chummy with the gryphons any time soon, but at least things are back to normal.” “You all but stole the feathers off their backs!” Princess Applejack let out a low whistle as she looked the treaty up and down. “They’re practically paying us for the privilege of using our air! How in the world did you get them to agree to this highway robbery?” “It's what I do, dear.” Princess Rarity said with a toss of her mane. “I’m just here to look pretty, smile for the cameras, and favorably negotiate international territory disputes under threats of war. You know; typical princess stuff.” “Well, I’m just glad we don’t have that hanging over us anymore.” Princess Applejack sighed. “That’s one thing I didn’t want to have to deal with myself; thanks for dealing with that for me.” “Please, putting egotistic politicians in their place is hobby of mine.” Princess Rarity chuckled, lightly patting her friend on the shoulder. “Is Fluttershy in? I wanted to check in with her about the gowns for tomorrow but she wasn’t at the palace so-” “You figured she’d be here?” Princess Applejack asked. “Her secret hideout is hardly that secret anymore.” Spike chuckled. “Any two bit sorcerer with an invisibility charm can bamboozle their way past the guards and sneak in here whenever they want.” Luna swallowed painfully, hardly daring to shoot her sister a look. If they came out now, the princesses would know they had snuck in without permission. If they continued to hide, they might miss the chance to talk to them altogether. As Luna wrestled with this dilemma, a gust of wind came up behind them and blew through the courtyard past Spike's nose. Spike stopped suddenly and sniffed the air. “Is someone making pancakes?” “Pancakes?” Princess Applejack said. “Yeah it smells like…strawberry chocolate chip pancakes!” Spike said, licking his lips hungrily. Luna turned to her sister, who was attempting to melt into the column she was pressed up against. The smell of Celestia's cooking clung to her sweatshirt; something Luna had neglected to cover up with an illusion. “I don’t smell anything.” Princess Rarity said. “You don’t have a nose like mine.” Spike said, sniffing along the ground in Luna’s direction. "I'm famished and those pancakes smell amazing!" Luna thought of running for it but her hooves on the marble floor would alert everypony to their presence and she couldn’t leave her sister high and dry. Before she could figure out what to do, a long purple snout sniffed it’s way around the pillars they were hiding behind and stopped short of Celestia’s shaggy paw. “It’s…a bear?” Spike said. Celestia was petrified as the two princesses came around to have a look at her. “Uh…g-grrrarr?” Bearlestia roared weakly. “Isn’t that Sir Bearington?” Princess Rarity said. “I could have sworn he was out of the country on a honey safari.” “It certainly looks like him.” Princess Applejack said, looming over Celestia and then looking straight at Luna. “But looks aren’t everything, are they?” “R-rrarrgh?” Bearlestia growled feebly. “You can drop the bear act, honey, you’re no good at it anyway.” Princess Applejack said. “And tell your friend to drop that little invisibility cloak of hers too; I can hear her hyperventilating behind that column over there.” Crap Luna discontinued both spells with a small flick of her horn and both newly visible sisters bowed to the princess courteously. “Your Highnesses.” Celestia and Luna said in concert. “How did you know she wasn’t a real bear?” Princess Rarity said “You know I have a keen eye when it comes to spotting lies and illusions are just great big magical lies.” Princess Applejack said, taking a closer look at the former bear kneeling before her. “Wait a minute you’re...you're Celestia, right? We met at that Hearth’s Warming Eve party in Trottingam last year, didn’t we?” “Y-yes, Your Highness!” Celestia said. “I-I’m surprised you remember me!” “I never forget a pony who can manage to whip my hide at cards.” Princess Applejack chuckled. “If I remember correctly, I think I still owe you fifty bits.” “Oh, d-don’t worry about that, Your Highness!” Celestia said brightly. “I just play for fun; I would never ask you to pay me or anything like-” Princess Applejack waver her hoof dismissively, levitating a small stack of bits out of her saddlebag and passing them to Celestia. “Let it never be said that Princess Applejack leaves her debts unpaid. You won these fair and square and I’m not taking no for an answer.” “Th-thank you, Your Highness!” Celestia said, stowing the bits away “Let me know if you ever want a rematch; you won't take my bits so easily next time.” Princess Applejack laughed, turning to Luna. “So I’m guessing you’re the one with the magic that hoodwinked the guards out front? I would have thought Fluttershy’s guards would be able to tell the difference between a real bear and a pony wearing a magical bearsuit.” “What do you expect from Twilight’s best girl?” Spike said, sending a reassuring wink to Luna who blushed at the compliment. “ “Twilight’s girl?” Princess Rarity said, turning to Luna. “Oh! You must be Princess Twilight’s protégée! It's..Luna, right?” “Y-yes Your Highness.” Luna squeaked. “Princess Twilight has told us so much about you.” Princess Rarity said. “I can’t believe that this is the first time we’ve met.” “Twilight's student or not, what in the world are you doing sneaking into Princess Fluttershy’s house on a Saturday morning?” Princess Applejack demanded. “You two better have a very good explanation for this.” “We do, Your Highness!” Luna said. “I have something very important to tell you; it’s a matter of-” “National security?” Spike said. “It really is this time!” Luna insisted. “I have evidence that...that Tirek the Terrible is returning to Equestria tomorrow night!” The two princesses stared at Luna dumfounded and Spike actually rubbed his eyes in exasperation. At that moment, Princess Fluttershy came into the courtyard levitating a tray of tea and cookies. “Alright ladies and gentledrakes, I have organic honeyblossom tea and vegan snickerdoodles for us to-eep!” She squeaked and stopped short when she caught sight of Celestia and Luna. “Wh-what are you doing in my house? How did you get in here?! How did you even find me?! Are you with the Canterlot Sun? I’m sorry, I’m not giving any interviews today so if you’ll just see yourselves out-” “Calm down, darling, they're not reporters." Princess Rarity said. "This is Princess Twilight's student, Luna, and her friend-" “Actually, I’m her sister…ma’am.” Celestia corrected gently. “-sister, Celestia." Princess Rarity corrected. "Luna has come to us with something that she thinks is important enough to warrant breaking into your house on a Saturday morning." “You may want to take a seat for this one, honey.” Princess Applejack said. “It sounds like this story’s going to be a doozy.” > Good Intentions > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Good Intentions Or How Luna Accidentally Blew Her Teacher’s Head Off and Burned Down an Entire Parade “…given the evidence I’ve just presented and taking into account the recent troubles you have been dealing with, I think it’s safe to conclude that Tirek’s return to life is almost complete as prophesied by numerous early Equestrian legends.” Luna said, bringing her presentation to a close. “If we act quickly and divert the guards away from the festivities and towards the lower reaches of Canterlot where Tirek was last seen, I believe we stand a good chance of stopping him in his tracks before he does any serious damage. I am confident in my findings and I humbly ask for your support when I present them to Princess Twilight.” Luna concluded her presentation, breathlessly waiting for a reaction from her audience. The ancient ponies sitting before her were silent for a long moment, exchanging unreadable glances with the clearly skeptical dragon stretched out in front of them. They communicated with one another in their own private language of meaningful looks they had carefully developed over centuries spent together. As their silent conversation continued, Luna became increasingly uncomfortable. Sure, she had fantasized about the princesses immediately realizing the seriousness of the situation and springing into action while making plans for Luna’s “I Saved The City” parade that would inevitably follow Tirek’s defeat but she knew convincing the princesses to divert their attention away from the party would be difficult. Still…they were taking an awfully long time arriving at what should have been a pretty obvious conclusion and the longer they remained silent the more Luna doubted that she was going to get the kind of answer she was after. As the silence in the courtyard became unbearably uncomfortable, Celestia cleared her throat in a feeble attempt to get the conversation started again. “I-I’m happy to answer any questions Your Highnesses might have.” Luna stammered, suddenly feeling less and less sure of herself as four sets of ancient eyes turned to fix on her. “Well…it seems as though you’ve put a lot of thought into this, Luna.” Princess Fluttershy said gently. “And we always appreciate it when a concerned citizen makes us aware of a potential problem." Princess Rarity said. "Even if they feel they have to break into our homes to do so.” “However…” Spike said as Luna’s stomach suddenly plummeted to her hooves. “L-look, I know it’s out there, believe me I do!” Luna said quickly. “B-b-but I really think my research supports my conclusion!” “How?” Princess Applejack said simply. “H-how?” Luna echoed. “How exactly does your research support the notion that an ancient monster-that hasn’t been seen or heard from in over nine hundred years, mind you-is suddenly going to make a comeback on the thousandth anniversary of his death?” Princess Applejack said. “But…but you said it yourselves!” Luna said, fumbling through her notes. “Random earthquakes increasing in frequency! Strange monster sightings in the countryside! Out of control weather patterns! It’s all happening, just like the legend said it would!” “That may be so, dear.” Princess Rarity said. “But we still have no proof that any of our current misfortunes are in any way related to the resurrection of our old enemy.” “But…you were there!” Luna blurted out. “Didn’t he swear that he would come back and destroy Equestria?!” “I seem to remember him making a lot of ugly threats as he fell into that pit.” Spike chimed in. “And so far, he hasn’t made good on a single one of them.” “Yes, if I recall correctly he promised that fire and brimstone would rain from the heavens as punishment for defying his "divine right to rule over us ignorant animals.” Princess Applejack laughed bitterly “And for all the strange weather we’ve had over the years, I don’t think I’ll be investing in a fireproof umbrella anytime soon.” Princess Rarity chuckled. “But…all this stuff that’s happening all at once…it has to be more than a coincidence!” Luna cried. “Why?” Princess Applejack challenged. “Just because we’re running into a patch of trouble lately doesn’t mean that an old monster is rising from the grave to get revenge on us for doing him in.” “As much as I would like our problems to have a single, simple explanation, the truth of the matter is that bad things have happened in this kingdom for centuries without an undead menace pulling the strings.” Princess Rarity said. “And I’m sorry to say but nothing you’ve shown us has convinced me that we should divert our limited supply of guards away from the throngs of ponies who actually need our protection on the off chance Tirek decides to crash our party.” Spike said. “But…but…” Luna said feebly, frantically paging through her notes for anything that might convince the princesses of the urgency of the situation. “W-wait, I think I can explain this better-” “We thank you for your concern and appreciate the lengths you went to bring this theory to our attention.” Princess Fluttershy said. “But I’m afraid we cannot condone rash military action based on old rumors with no real foundation to them.” “But-” Luna started, only to be cut off by Princess Fluttershy gently raising her hoof. “I’m sorry, but this must be our final word on the matter. We cannot support your claim as presented and we will not draw our guards' attention away from the the biggest public event in Equestrian history.” Princess Fluttershy said sternly. “Now, unless there’s anything else you’d like to discuss with us, I’m afraid we must excuse ourselves to prepare for the ceremony tomorrow.” “Wait, you’re making a mistake!” Luna said, feeling a rash swell of anger surge through her body. “You can’t just-” “Thank you so much for seeing us, Your Highnesses!” Celestia said quickly before Luna could say something she’d regret. “We understand that you are busy preparing for your ceremony and appreciate your dedication to ensuring the capital is safe tomorrow night.” “But they-ow!” Luna hissed as Celestia lightly jabbed her in the ribs. “If you have any further questions or concerns about the information my sister brought to you, please do not hesitate to send for us.” Celestia said with another curtsy. “If anything changes, we’ll let you know.” Princess Applejack said. “Come on, ladies.” Spike said, rousing from spot on the grass and steering a shaken Luna towards the door. “I’ll walk you out.” “Well, Luna, at least our little visits are always…interesting to say the least.” Spike said. Spike escorted Luna and Celestia off the villa grounds, past a pair of disgruntled and embarrassed guards who they fooled on the way in. As they passed, the rangers shot them a scathing glance and muttered something to the effect of “…disgrace to the name of Sir Bearington.” “Not that I don’t like to see you out of the library every now and then,” Spike said. “But how about next time you just go out to lunch or see a movie with a friend? You know; something that doesn't involve breaking and entering.” “We didn’t break in.” Luna mumbled. “The guards let us in.” “The guards let Sir Bearington and his invisible sidekick in.” Spike laughed . “Nice bit of spellwork there, by the way. I think Twilight would have been proud of you…under, ah, different circumstances.” “Yeah…fat lot of good my spellwork did me if it didn't convince them to help me.” Luna muttered under her breath. “I know you’re disappointed right now-” Spike said gently. “Ha!” Luna snorted bitterly. “But try and see things from our point of view.” Spike said evenly. “We have over four hundred and fifty thousand ponies coming up to the city for the party on top of the nearly five hundred thousand ponies who live and work in Canterlot every day. We have exactly twenty thousand guards in the City Watch, five thousand guards in the Scouting Legion and a little more than twelve thousand guards from the castle. Less than forty thousand guards are responsible for looking after nearly a million partygoers. Our security forces are overtaxed as it is; diverting guards to the Canterlot Underground means diverting them away from the ponies they need to look after.” “But if I’m right-” Luna said. “Then what are we supposed to do?” Spike said. “Send a dozen guards to the Underground so that when Tirek rises out of the earth he has a nice juicy snack prepared for him? What good do you think a handful of guards are going to do against a monster like Tirek?” “If nothing else, they could warn everypony else before-” “Before they get squished like little ants under Tirek’s hooves.” Spike finished. “If you’re wrong, we lose support in the main party areas where we need it most. If you’re right, the guards I send to watch for Tirek become his first victims. Are you suggesting I risk lives based on a theory born out of a hunch you had?” “Um, excuse me, Your Grace.” Celestia interrupted. “Just Spike, if you don’t mind.” Spike said. “Uh…o-okay, Spike.” Celestia said. “I was going to say that I don’t think my sister was suggesting that you take any course of action in particular and certainly not one that would endanger lives. Only that we have a potential security risk that we think deserves your full attention.” “Even if I’m wrong, which I’m not, a few guards keeping the Underground clear won’t be terribly missed.” Luna said, taking a deep breath. “Even if the princesses decide not to do anything…you have to do everything in your power to prevent Tirek’s return.” “Luna, the princesses don’t think it’s such a good idea to distract ourselves from-” Spike started “It doesn’t matter what the princesses think!” Luna blurted out. “Luna, calm down!” Celestia hissed nervously. “I don’t know if anypony told you this but the princesses kind of rule over the entire country.” Spike said sternly. “I think that means it matters a great deal what they think.” “Not in Canterlot it doesn't!” Luna said. “The Princesses share rule over Equestria equally but none of them rule over Canterlot!” “Are you seriously trying to tell me that the Princesses don’t even control their own capital?” Celestia laughed. “They don’t!” Luna insisted. “Okay, brainiac, then who does?” Celestia said. Luna turned to look up at Spike as she quickly recalled her history lessons. “In Realm Year 251 the Princesses had their first and greatest fight over who would rule over the city of Canterlot. They had agreed to share the rule of Equestria equally but when it came to the capital, there was some dispute over who would control it. The split the city into six equal parts but soon began quarreling over who controlled the royal castle. They erected huge walls blocking Princess Applejack’s neighborhoods off from Princess Rarity’s neighborhoods. The palace was in constant turmoil as each princess claimed that the Royal Palace was theirs. This went on for almost a year before someone claimed Canterlot for themselves by right of title.” “But who-” Celestia looked from Luna to Spike. “Seriously?” “The Princesses awarded Spike the title of Duke of Canterlot when he was a child, largely as a little gold star for helping them defeat Tirek.” Luna continued. “But technically he’s the only one with legitimate claim to city since no individual princess was given Canterlot when they divided Equestria between them. So, when the princesses’ infighting threatened to tear the city apart, the Duke of Canterlot lay claim to the city by right of his title. Spike threatened to secede Canterlot from the rest of Equestria and boot the princesses out unless they stopped fighting and agreed that the capital city would remain a neutral ground where none of them ruled." "And they just let him have it?" Celestia said. "I can be very persuasive when I want to be." Spike said. "And the fact that I was the size of a small skyscraper by then didn't hurt my case." "Ultimately the princesses agreed and Canterlot would continue to act as the capital and remain part of Equestria but the administration of the city itself, including its defense, would be overseen by the Duke.” “I-is that true Your-er, Spike?” Celestia asked. “Technically.” Spike admitted. “We’ve never had any major disagreements on how Canterlot should be run but I suppose if it ever came down to it…my word would legally override theirs if it concerned the city itself.” “Which means, no matter what the princesses decide to do, Spike can make whatever decision he wants when it comes to Canterlot’s safety!” Luna concluded triumphantly. “Yes…technically.” Spike admitted. “But it’s not that simple. The princesses have commanded their personal guards to assist in the city’s security detail tomorrow night-” “What?!” Luna cried. “You mean they’re completely unprotected?!” “As unprotected as six demigoddesses with nigh unstoppable magical and physical abilities can be.” Spike said. “More to the point, I have no authority over their personal guard which means if I want to cover the Canterlot Underground, I need to move my City Watch and Scouting Legion away from their posts where they’re needed to direct the Royal Guards. The Royal Guards have protected the Palace for years but they’ve got little to no experience with real police work. Captain Carrot is short staffed as it is and he needs every available City Watch to quote “hold the hooves of the Pampered Palace Princess Pansies.” “Pansies?” Celestia snorted. “He used...another word that I’m not going to repeat in civilized company.” Spike coughed. “I know I’m asking a lot of you.” Luna said. “And I know I’ve given you reason to doubt me in the past but…you have to trust me on this. Tirek is going to return tomorrow night and we need to do everything in our power to stop him or this anniversary party is going to be the last one Equestria ever sees. Please…there has to be something you can do.” Spike sighed through his nose, regarding his oldest friend's student as he rubbed his eyes wearily. “I’ll…I’ll have the guards keep the Underground clear of partygoers and let them know we might be expecting some trouble down there.” “Thank you.” Luna said earnestly. “And I’ll send Twilight a message letting her know you’re looking for her.” Spike said. “I’m sure the others will let her know you’re coming as well.” “Fabulous.” Luna muttered darkly. “I know you probably think we’re impotent old fools who don’t know what we’re talking about…and you might be right about that.” Spike laughed. “But in the nine-hundred and ninety nine years that I’ve known the princesses, they’ve always put the health and happiness of Equestria above everything else. I think by now they’ve earned the benefit of the doubt when it comes to decisions regarding the safety of their subjects, don’t you think?” “I…you’re right.” Luna mumbled. “Of course I am!” Spike chuckled. “Everything’s going to be fine, Luna; trust me. Now, I believe I’m keeping you ladies from your party plans so and Princess Rarity wanted to fit me for a new suit, if you’ll excuse me-” There was a bright flash of emerald flames and Spike vanished leaving the sisters standing alone in the middle of the Butterfly Garden. “Well…” Celestia said brightly. “That turned out better than I thought it would!” “Well that turned out worse than I thought it would.” Luna mumbled darkly. Luna sulked out of the Butterfly Garden sullenly, listening to her sister slurp on a slushee she bought in the plaza outside the garden. The central plaza bustled with thousands of ponies coming and going and laughing and playing and all woefully unaware of the mortal peril they were all in. “Speak for yourself; I got fifty bits from a princess and a cherry vanilla slurpee!” Celestia said cheerfully. “That counts as a pretty good morning in my book.” “Right, because that’s what we came here for.” Luna snipped. “We broke into a royal estate to get your slushee money that Princess Applejack apparently owed you; mission freaking accomplished.” “There’s no need to be so grouchy.” Celestia huffed. “Just because things didn’t go the way you wanted it to doesn’t mean you have to-” “I can’t believe they just blew me off like that!” Luna cried suddenly, causing Celestia to jump and everypony within fifty yards to whip around to look at her. “Relationship issues.” Celestia said to a chorus of ohs as everyone went back to their business. “Okay, okay, I know you’re disappointed.” Celestia said soothingly, steering Luna towards a bench on the side of the plaza. “But the rest of Canterlot doesn’t need to know it!” “Sorry but-” Luna shook her head. “It’s like…like they don’t even care we’re all in grave danger!” “Did it ever cross your mind that Their Highnesses know a little more about protecting their own country than you do?” Celestia said. “And that maybe they weren't lying when they said everything was in order?” “Right.” Luna laughed bitterly. “They've certainly got their party plans in order if nothing else. I’m starting to wonder if they’re not more concerned about the gigantic gala being thrown in their honor than they are with the safety of their subjects!” “Hey that isn’t fair!” Celestia said sharply. “The Princesses have safeguarded Equestria from all major harm for almost a thousand years! They’ve been responding to actual threats to national security before our great-grandmother’s great-grandmother was even born! Do you really think they’re going to start dropping the ball now?” “Well…no but-” Luna said. “And lest we forget it was the princesses and Spike who defeated Tirek the last time he showed up.” Celestia said. “So what makes you think, on the off chance that you’re right about this, that they won’t just smack Tirek back down like an angry, undead Whack-a-Mole the way they did a thousand years ago?” “Because they knew what they were up against!” Luna said. “They knew who they were dealing with and they took Tirek seriously! Now it’s like...like they don’t even want to consider the possibility that Tirek could be coming back! Nopony believes me and they’re all going to be caught flat hoofed tomorrow night with their guards spread out all over the city!” “At least Spike seemed to believe you.” Celestia said. “That’ll make things easier going forward, won’t it?” “What’s the use?” Luna sighed. “I’ve already got three princesses against me and it’s not even lunch time! Princess Rarity or Princess Applejack has probably talked to the others about my craaaazy theories by now so why even bother? I may as well just give up, go home and prepare to be enslaved again for all the good it will do me to try and convince Princess Twilight!” Luna flopped limply on a nearby bench and groaned into her sweatshirt's sleeves. Celestia dropped to the bench beside her sister and awkwardly pulled her into a hug with one of her wings. “Thanks for coming with me.” Luna sighed, shaking Celestia’s wing off as she got up to leave. “I’ll try and make it to your party tomorrow if I'm not toiling in Tirek's crystal mines by then.” “What?!” Celestia said. “You’re giving up already?” “I don’t see the point in continuing to embarrass myself with a story nopony wants to believe.” Luna said dejectedly. “But what about Equestria?!” Celestia said. “What…what about Tirek’s return?” “Come on, Celestia.” Luna said. “Even you don’t believe me.” “That’s not…that’s not true!” Celestia said hastily. “And even if I didn’t believe you, I still promised that I’d see this through with you to the end!” “This is it; this is the end.” Luna said. “I appreciate you sticking with me up until now but I’m sure you have better things to do than help your loony sister try to convince people of her crazy theory.” “Oh stop being such a drama queen!” Celestia snapped. “You’ve never quit anything in your life and you’re not about to start now! So what if three princesses think that you’re off your rocker crazy?” “Are you trying to make me feel better?” Luna said. “Because if you are-” “You’ve already won the support of the Duke of Canterlot and you still have three more princesses to talk to!” Celestia said. “But what’s the point if-” “Luna.” Celestia said, locking eyes with her sister. “Do you think Tirek coming back tomorrow night?” “I…I don’t know.” Luna said, squirming under Celestia’s gaze. “The research I did supports that conclusion but now I’m not so sure that-” “Is. Tirek. Coming. Back?” Celestia asked firmly. Luna looked down, biting her lip thoughtfully. After a few moments she sighed and looked back at her sister with cold determined eyes. “I’d stake my life on it.” Luna said. “Then you know what we need to do.” Celestia said. “I…I do.” “We need to get you some ice cream.” Celestia said “If we’re going to convince the others, I need to-” Luna stopped, blinking at her sister owlishly. “I’m sorry…what?” “You need ice cream.” Celestia said, draining the last of her slurpee and chucking it in a trash can with a flick of her wing. "You still like hazelnut?" “How...how is ice cream supposed to help me-” “You’ve been up all night, you just discovered the world is going to end tomorrow and you just got out of a disappointing first meeting with the Princesses.” Celestia said. “Before you do anything else, you need a serious refresher and no refresher is fresher than ice cream.” “Do all your responses to national emergencies involve food?” Luna asked incredulously. “Do you know a better way to deal with an ancient tyrant returning from the grave?” Celestia said. “Point taken.” Luna smiled. “Thanks for sticking with me, Celestia.” “What are big sisters for?” Celestia said. “Now you sit your flank down on that bench and try and recharge while I go and see about getting you a chocolate hazelnut cone from the yogurt cart over there.” As Celestia disappeared into the crowd of vendors and tourists gathering for the celebration, Luna decided to take her sister’s advice and try and relax a little. The adrenaline of fear that came with her discovery had kept Luna awake all morning but now that she had a moment to stop and catch her breath, the effects of her all-night study session were beginning to take their toll. Luna stretched out on the bench, taking her sweatshirt off and sticking it under her head to lie down for a quick rest. The hustle and bustle of downtown Canterlot blended together into a droning buzz that soon had Luna feeling very drowsy. She laid back and watched the various ponies coming and going, snack vendors setting up stands, party decorators hanging up banners displaying magically moving pictures of the princesses’ cutie marks, a tiny little gremlin pushing a baby cart down the hill and away from its mother, a group of her fellow college students playing Frisbee on the- Luna’s eyes shot open as she glanced back over to the baby carriage curiously. The child’s mother was talking adamantly to a friend with her back turned to the carriage. Luna could have sworn that she saw something small scaly and black scurrying around the wheels…but it was probably just her imagina- There it was again. Something like a liquid shadow slithered out of a patch of shade and back towards the baby carriage. A black scaly looking rat creature with long claws and a wide toothy mouth was creeping around in the shadow of the baby carriage, fiddling with the wheels with its long spindly fingers. “Um…excuse me?” Luna called weakly, getting up from the bench and walking towards the mother and the cart. “Excuse me, ma’am! There’s something under your child’s-” As she spoke, the creature undid the latch holding the wheels in place and the carriage started rolling down the hill. The mother dove to catch the carriage before it rolled away only to fall flat on her face as the creature gave it a violent push down the hill and jumped in to ride it down. Without missing a beat, Luna started running down the hill as fast as her legs could carry her, reaching out with her magic to grab hold of the carriage. Just as she was about to grip it, the ugly rat creature stuck its head out of the carriage and shot something black and tarry in Luna’s direction. Luna brought up a quick shield to deflect it but in doing so, the baby’s carriage slipped out of her grasp and barreled towards a busy intersection where a massive cart was backing up, oblivious to the baby carriage rolling behing it. Luna poured on the speed, and again reached out to grab the cart with her magic. When the creature popped its head up again, Luna responded with a carefully controlled spellbolt fired from the tip of her horn. It flew ahead of her and hit the creature square between its beady yellow eyes, sending it flying out of the carriage as it reached the intersection. Just as the cart was about to back over the carriage, Luna closed her eyes and pushed out with all the magical energy she could muster. She heard a sickening crunch and grinding sound as the backs of the cart collided with her barrier but inside, the baby’s carriage was perfectly fine. “What the hell’s the matter with you?!” The cart driver cried, running around the side of his cart to look at the damage Luna had done. “You totally wrecked the back of my cart!” “What’s the matter with you?!” Luna said. “Why don't you watch where you're going, you could have run over this baby…carriage?” Luna looked into the cart to see an empty bundle of blankets where she expected the child to be. Luna looked back up the hill to see the mother joined by a stallion with a baby attached to his back in a sling. “Wow, that must be a real nice carriage if it was worth busting my cart up with your freaky magic barrier!” The cart driver growled. “I’m sorry, I thought there was a baby in it and there was this thing that-” Luna stopped as she saw the creature she knocked off the cart slither to its feet woozily. “You!” Luna cried, tearing after the creature. “Get back here!” The creature scampered down a side street and Luna ran after it, ignoring the angry cries of the cart driver behind her. The creature slunk and slithered its way down the street, flowing around foodcarts and hoofsteps like it was made of black oily water. Luna was forced to jostle and push her way past the crowd, calling out half formed apologies as she pursued the creature behind a large building. The creature scampered up the side of a brick wall and Luna gave chase from the ground below. As it ran out of wall to run on, the creature leapt from the building and snagged the corner of a banner draped across the street. It came fluttering down to block Luna’s path and Luna had to quickly shred it with a spellbolt or risk getting caught in it. Luna ignored the cries of anger and dismay from the ponies who had hung the banner and pursued the creature down an alley and behind a large warehouse. She rounded the corner and was immediately crashed into Princess Twilight, sending Luna tumbling to the ground as she bounced off her mentor and skidded across the floor. “Ow! Watch where you're going you drooling idiot-” Luna gasped as she looked up, dropping to a quick curtsy. “P-Princess! I'm sorry, I didn't see you...there?” Luna looked up from her bow to see the princess staring down at her with a frozen painted grin plastered on her paper machete face. Her long mane rustled in the wind as a hundreds of purple streamers streamed out from her half-finished head, left open and exposing her wireframe skeleton. The parade float’s likeness to Princess Twilight was seriously uncanny…and seriously disturbing. “Oh that’s not creepy.” Luna mumbled, sidestepping the parade float. “That’s not creepy at all.” Scanning around the courtyard, Luna found that the creature had led her to a large staging area that held the party supplies for the gala parade. Half finished floats of each princess cast long shadows in the courtyard and stacks of wooden packing crates bursting with streamers, balloons, and confetti provided the creature plenty of places to hide. Luna cautiously crept her way into the courtyard, staying in the few patches of sunlight in the middle and scanning the shadows for any sign of movement. She wasn’t sure what she was dealing with and the last thing she needed was to get ambushed by a potentially dangerous shadow monster. Luna heard a rustling behind the crates and quickly cast an invisibility spell over herself. A pair of yellow eyes blinked out from the darkness and out from the shadows the creature crept, sniffing the ground and looking around for any sign of the mare that followed it. Luna quietly crept up on the creature, moving slowly so as not to give away her location. The rat sniffed the air and whipped around just as Luna threw off her invisibility charm and pounced on the creature as fast as she could. “Gotcha!” Luna cried, pinning the rat to the ground with her hoof. “Now, why did you-hey!” The rat creature melted into a shadow and slithered out from under Luna's hoof. Luna gave chase, shooting spellbolts at the creature to steer it into a dark corner. Without an escape route, it rematerialized as Luna bore down on it, trapping it under her hoof. “As I was saying…gotcha!” Luna cried, sparking her horn menacingly. “Now then…you’re going to tell me everything you know about why you pushed that cart and who you’re working for or else I’ll…I’ll…” Luna trailed off as dozens of glowing yellow eyes suddenly appeared to stare menacingly at her from the shadows. Dozens of other rat creatures slithered out of the wall, hissing at Luna while the one she trapped under her hoof grinned up at her menacingly. “O-okay.” Luna said, nervously edging away from the rat creatures as they advanced on her. “I-I’m willing to discuss this rationally so…so let’s not do anything rash now.” “Okay, Luna, they were out of hazelnut swirl but I got you cookies and cream with hazelnuts on top so-” Celestia returned to the bench where she left her sister only to find that Luna was nowhere to be found. “Luna?” Celestia looked down the hill and groaned when she saw a trail of torn banners and overturned carts leading away from the plaza and into a dense cluster of buildings. “Two minutes.” Celestia seethed, leaping into the air following the trail of destruction for any sign of Luna. “She can’t go two bucking minutes without getting into trouble!” “GETOFFMEGETOFFMEGETOFFMEGETOFFME!” Luna wailed, rolling around on the ground, frantically slapping at the dozens of tiny rat creatures clawing and biting their way through her clothes. “I…said…” Luna growled, eyes flashing white. “GET OFF!” A ring of white magic exploded out from Luna’s horn as she flung the creatures off and scattered them across the courtyard. They bounced off walls and melted back into shadow before scrambling to their feet and scurrying at her again. Luna didn’t give them time to surround her, leaping away from the center of the yard and firing spellbolts as fast as she could cast them. The white hot bursts of magic sent the little rats shrieking back to the shadows but for every one Luna struck down, two more appeared to take its place. Luna started to get lightheaded for casting so many spells so quickly and as a result, her aim started to suffer. Her spellbolts went wild, ricocheting off the walls and missing their targets by yards. One of her bolts bounced off a pole and burst through a packing crate in the corner, another blew the head clean off of Princess Twilight’s parade float (which was, all things considered, not the worst thing that could have happened.) As the creatures started to swarm closer and closer to her, Luna summoned up the last reserves of her magic and with a strangled shout she shot a stream of screaming spellbolts into the air. The spells hung in the air like dozens of tiny fireflies before raining down on her targets below. They fell like great raindrops of fire, splashing in the middle of the swarm and scattering the rats with tremendous magical force. They scrambled around the courtyard, trying in vain to avoid Luna's firestorm but each one that managed to escape left two of its fellows to vanish in black puffs of smoke. When the dust settled and the last spellbolt had fallen, less than half the rats remained standing and those that were held back out of fear. “Alright…who’s next?” Luna panted. The rats reared up, clustering together to attack but stopped as a loud hissing noise filled the air. They started looking around fearfully and scurried back into the shadows that they came. “Ha!” Luna squeaked triumphantly. “That’s right! Run back to into the hole you crawled out of because you don’t want none of what I’m selling!” Luna considered doing a brief victory jig but the hissing that had scared the rats off only grew louder after they left. Luna cast around fearfully, wondering if some great fearful snake monster had frightened the rats off. As she scanned the room and finally discovered the source of the hissing, Luna actually wished it had been a giant snake monster instead. A massive crate in the corner had started sparking, smoking and sizzling in response to Luna’s spellbolt storm. On the side of the crate, a sign in large red lettering read: Luna gaped in speechless horror as the crate started jumping, sparking and whining with the sound of impending technicolor destruction. “Oh…come on!” Luna croaked as the box burst into flames. > Crying Timberwolf > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Crying Timberwolf Princess Twilight Sparkle blinked owlishly at mare sitting before her as she tried in vain to process what her friend had just told her. Sixteen hands of electric pink mayhem rocked back and forth on the balls of her hooves, her impossibly frizzy pink mane swirling and curling in excitement. Her bright blue eyes sparkled with enthusiasm and despite the boundless joy practicaly wafting off of her, Princess Twilight was not amused. “Seriously?” Princess Twilight sighed, rubbing her eyes. “Seriously.” The other mare said, taking a long draw of the chocolate strawberry milkshake on the table in front of her. “You called me in the middle of a meeting with the seapony satrap to drag me into a coffee shop…just to tell me that you’re changing your name?!” Princess Twilight groaned. "You said this was an emergency!" "I had to! You wouldn't have come if I didn't say it was urgent!" The other mare said. "You've been living in your office for weeks now! I had to rescue you before you fused into your desk and turned into a horrible mahogany woodpony monster!" Princess Twilight had to admit the small coffee shop she found herself in was a nice change from the boardrooms and embassies she had spent the morning in, even if the patrons were openly gawking at the two princesses perched on creaking barstools designed for ponies half their size. “I appreciate the sentiment, Pinkamena, but I don't really have time to-” “Ah, ah, ah! I'm not-Pinkamana anymore.” Princess Not-Pinkamena chided. “I already told you, I’m changing my name to-” “I’m not calling you that!” Princess Twilight hissed. “Why not?!” Princess Not-Pinkamena cried. “You let Rainbow Dash run around calling herself “Shogun of Thunderstorms!" Why is she the only one who gets to change her name?!” “Because your "name" is just…it’s just ridiculous!” Princess Twilight insisted. “That’s half the point!” Princess Not-Pinkamena said. “Do you really expect me to get up on stage at the commemoration ceremony tomorrow night in front of half the country and announce you as Princess Pinkie Pie with a straight face?” Princess Twilight said “When have I ever asked you to do anything with a straight face?” Princess Pinkamena Pinkie Pie said. “They’re going to laugh the balloons off of your backside!” Princess Twilight said. “I hope so!” Princess Pinkie Pie said brightly. "Rainbow Dash is never going to let you hear the end of it!" Princess Twilight said. "Please, the Princess of Hot Air has no business lecturing me or anypony else on their choice of names." Princess Pinkie Pie said, rolling her eyes.“Come on, Twilight, we're celebrating a thousand years of peace and happiness but my name is still a thousand years out of fashion! It’s time now for a new change to come! I'm all grown up and my new life has begun! I can’t go on being called Pinkamena like I’m some kind of stuffy rock farmer or something. I’m the Princess of Parties! I need something that just screams party!” A pearl of pink power popped out of Princess Pinkie Pie’s horn and burst into a shower of pink and blue glitter that rained down on the coffee shop patrons and a thoroughly displeased Princess Twilight. “Then get a new haircut!” Princess Twilight said, shaking the phony glittery stars out of her billowing starry mane. “Or buy another candy shop or throw another ball! Are you seriously going to start signing all of your official paperwork as Princess Pinkie Pie?” “Actually I was thinking of just doodling smiley faces on the signature line with a fat pink crayon.” Princess Pinkie Pie said. “Pinkamena-” “Kidding.” Princess Pinkie Pie said. “And I’m seriously not responding to The Name That Shall Not Be Mentioned. I’m one thousand and twenty three years old and if I want to call myself Pinkie Pie or Chancellor Puddinghead, or Princess Consuela Bananahammock, that’s my business!” “But-” “Party Princess’ Prerogative!” Princess Pinkie Pie pouted. “Ugh.” Princess Twilight groaned. “Fine. You win Pinka…Pinkie Pie. I’ve got enough on my plate without locking horns with you right now.” “You worry too much.” Princess Pinkie Pie said. “This is our anniversary party, you know. You should take the time and enjoy it.” “I can enjoy it once I see to the hundreds of thousands of ponies planning to pack our city by tomorrow night!” Princess Twilight said sharply. “I have security plans to sign off on, itineraries to hand out, parade routes to secure, vendor licenses to approve and delegates to entertain! And on top of all that I…” Princess Twilight broke off, shaking her head in frustration. “On top of all that what?” Princess Pinkie Pie prodded. “It’s nothing.” Princess Twilight sighed. Princess Pinkie Pie’s left ear twitched almost imperceptibly. “Liar.” Princess Pinkie Pie accused. “Spill it; what’s got you so flustered?” “It’s…Luna.” Princess Twilight admitted. “Your student?” Pinkie Pie snorted. “The Slayer of the Canterlot Mall Cerberus, Bane of Bananas Everywhere?” “The very same.” Princess Twilight said, shuddering at the memory of her student’s latest mishap. “I got a letter from Rarity just now-” “She and Spike finally sending out wedding invitations?” Princess Pinkie Pie said. “I wish.” Princess Twilight laughed bitterly. “Apparently my student disguised her sister as a bear and snuck into Fluttershy’s sanctuary this morning...uninvited.” “Breaking into a royal residence on the eve of the biggest event in a thousand years?” Princess Pinkie Pie whistled. “Your girl’s got grit.” “She certainly isn’t lacking in that...though I wish she had a bit more common sense.” Princess Twilight sighed. “Apparently, she’s going around telling everypony who will listen to her that-” Princess Twilight quickly cast a soundproof bubble around their table. “She’s telling everypony that Tirek is returning to life tomorrow night to destroy Equestria.” Princess Twilight whispered, popping the bubble. “That’s quite a story.” Princess Pinkie Pie said. “Or a very badly told joke.” “Luna doesn’t joke.” Princess Twilight said. “Do you believe her then?” Princess Pinkie Pie said. “O-of course not!” Princess Twilight insisted. "Why would I?" "Well, if she's not joking, then she must be telling the truth...or at least she believes she is." Princess Pinkie Pie said. "I don't doubt her convictions." Princess Twilight said. “But the very idea is just ridiculous! She’s jumping to conclusions without taking all the facts into consideration, just like she always does!” “You mean like you’re doing now?” Princess Pinkie Pie said. “Well…I suppose so.” Princess Twilight conceded. “But you don’t seriously think Tirek is coming back, do you?” “Well,” Princess Pinkie Pie said, downing the rest of her shake with a drawn out thprrrrt. “I think it’s certainly plausible.” “How is an undead tyrant returning to life after a thousand years plausible?” Princess Twilight said. “How is a rainbow magic beam giving us superpowers instead of killing us plausible?” Princess Pinkie Pie countered. "There's not a heck of a lot in our lives that could be considered plausible by any definition of the word." “So you’re saying you believe her?” Princess Twilight asked. “I’m not saying I disbelieve her...not yet anyway.” Princess Pinkie Pie shrugged. “Something weird is going on and I'm willing to consider any explanation no matter how farfetched it may be.” “Is that your tail talking?” Princess Twilight ribbed as Princess Pinkie Pie’s tail twitched. “It’s been acting up ever since this morning.” Princess Pinkie Pie said. “I don’t know what it means though. I can’t get a good reading no matter what I try; cards, crystals, tea leaves all come up jumbled. Like…too many things are happening at once. Like they’re confused about something.” “Something bad?” Princess Twilight asked. “Something something.” Princess Pinkie Pie shrugged. “You have to admit, we’ve had more than our fair share of bad luck lately.” “Monster sightings.” Princess Twilight said. “Weird earthquakes.” Princess Pinkie Pie added. “Freak thunderstorms and weather gone completely batty.” Princess Twilight finished. “AHHH! MY HAIR!” The two princesses looked up from their table to see that a raincloud had appeared out of nowhere as if on cue and was dumping buckets of rain on the ponies outside as they scrambled for shelter. “That’s like the sixth rogue raincloud today.” Princess Pinkie Pie said thoughtfully. “I know…Rainbow Dash has had her hooves full all morning chasing them down.” Princess Twilight said. “I haven’t seen her work this hard since-” “CHURLISH CLOUD!” As if on cue, a voice like thunder shook the small malt shop as outside the raincloud actually appeared to be shivering in fear. “Oh speak of the devil...” Princess Twilight sighed. “IMPISH AND UNWORTHY PUFF OF MIST!” The thunderous voice boomed as static bolts began discharging from the sky. “YOU PRESUME TO DEFY THE WILL OF SHE WHO COMMANDS THE SKIES? YOU DARE RAIN IN DEFIANCE OF SHE WHO TAMED THE DRAGONS OF WIND AND WATER?! SHE WHO IS THE UNDISPUTED QUEEN OF THE HEAVENS?! THE SHOGUN OF THUNDERSTORMS?! THE VICEROY OF VORTEXES?! YOU DARE DEFY THE WILL OF PRINCESS RAINBOW DASH?!” A bright blue flash of lightning fell from the sky like a spear, cleaving the raincloud in half and leaving a tall blue alicorn standing in a small circle of sunlight. Clad in immaculately polished golden armor emblazoned with thunderbolts and letting her long rainbow colored mane flap behind her in a perpetual breeze, Princess Rainbow Dash folded her multicolored wings and scanned the crowd for any further weather anomalies to destroy. “…and she shall appear.” Princess Pinkie Pie finished. Princess Rainbow Dash rumbled something dark under her breath before straightening up and flashing the crowd a shining rock star smile. “Worry not, loyal subjects! The Weather Department is merely experiencing a rash of insubordination among the stratus clouds! We shall endeavor to fix this as soon as we are able and we assure thee that tomorrow’s festivities shall proceed unclouded by…er…clouds!” “Say what you want about Rainbow Dash, the mare knows how to work an audience.” Princess Pinkie Pie said as Princess Rainbow Dash waved to the quickly growing crowd. “She does have that penchant for the theatrical that the people seem to be drawn to.” Princess Twilight mused as her friend stopped and posed for a few pictures. “Upset that she beat you in the Canterlot Sun’s Princess Popularity poll again?” Princess Pinkie Pie teased. “Tch, hardly.” Princess Twilight groused, blowing bubbles in her tea. Princess Rainbow Dash turned to leave but stopped when she caught sight of her fellow princesses sitting in the coffee shop. “I think she saw us.” Princess Pinkie Pie said, passing Princess Twilight a set of ear plugs and stuffing a pair in her own ears. Please use the door. Princess Twilight prayed silently to herself as Princess Rainbow Dash approached the café. Please use the door, please use the door please use the door please use the- SMASH “ROYAL SISTERS!” Princess Rainbow Dash cried, crashing through the streetside wall of the coffee shop and clapping Princess Twilight on the shoulder with a wing splintering thump. “Just the mares I was looking for!” “Princess Rainbow Dash.” Princess Twilight said, tenderly rubbing her wing. “What a nice surprise." “Everything okay, Rainbow ?” Princess Pinkie Pie said, pulling a chair up for her friend while Princess Twilight hastily patched the ruined wall with her magic. “I heard you had a pretty rough morning.” “A mere spot of trouble; worry not.” Princess Rainbow Dash said dismissively. “I hoped to discuss tomorrow’s festivities with you but first…SERVING WENCH!” Princess Rainbow Dash clapped her hooves together as a petrified barista approached the table. “Y-yes, Your Highness?” The trembling colt said. “How can I help you today?” “Your princess is parched from her long morning of battling insubordinate weather.” Princess Rainbow Dash said, slamming a thick gold coin down on the table. “A round of your finest mead, good tavernkeeper!” “Uh…I-I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t serve mead here.” The barista said. “Ah, a pity.” Princess Rainbow Dash said. “Never mind then, your princess shall settle for the finest ale you have on tap.” “A-actually, Your Highness, we don’t serve any alcohol at all here.” The barista said. “Not a drop?!” Princess Rainbow Dash scoffed. “And you call this a tavern?!” “No ma’am, we call this a c-coffee shop.” The barista said. “We have a nice selection of coffee and Iced tea and our baristas make a wonderful wildberry smoothie with whipped cream and-” “Enough! You are depressing us with your milquetoast beverage selection.” Princess Rainbow Dash sighed. “I-I’m sorry.” The barista squeaked “Very well.” Princess Rainbow Dash sniffed. “Bring us all of the energy drinks you have.” “R-right away ma’am!” The barista said, turning to fill the order. “Wait!” Princess Rainbow Dash boomed, freezing the barista in his tracks. “Y-yes, Your Highness?” The barista squeaked. “I worry what you just heard was “bring Princess Rainbow Dash a lot of different energy drinks.” Princess Rainbow Dash said. “What we said was “bring us all of the energy drinks you have.” The barista nodded uncertainly and within moments, he returned with a bucket full of energy drinks which Princess Rainbow Dash promptly combined into one bubbly brown brew that actually hissed when Princess Twilight looked at it too closely. “So…funny weather we're having, huh?” Princess Twilight asked as Princess Rainbow Dash downed her concoction in one gulp and smashed the bucket against the ground with a splintering crash. "Having trouble with the clouds?" “Since sunrise.” Princess Rainbow Dash said, wiping her mouth. “The loathsome bilgesnipes have been flitting across the skies wantonly spilling their rain heedless of our royal orders to behave themselves!” “Bummer.” Princess Pinkie Pie said. “Bummer, indeed.” Princess Rainbow Dash said, thumping her hoof on the table for emphasis. “Of late, my pegasi have been overworked reigning up rebellious weather. Tis a vile crime to work them so on the eve of such a glorious celebration but I see no other alternative. The festivities must go on undimmed by treasonous tempests and it falls to me to bring such rebellious rainclouds to heel!” "Well said!" Princess Pinkie Pie said. “Do you need an extra pair of wings?” Princess Twilight asked. “I seem to remember my student has a sister looking to go into weather management.” “A kind offer but we shall manage; no storm front has ever bested the Canterlot Weather Patrol Legion and our record shall go unbesmirched so long as I have anything to say about it!” Princess Rainbow Dash boasted. “That’s a relief.” Princess Twilight said, pulling a rather sizable list out of a saddlebag and checking something off. “I’ve got enough to worry about without rogue rainstorms raining on our parade.” “Do you make time for anything other than worrying?” Princess Rainbow Dash said, snatching the list away. “Hey!” Princess Twilight cried reaching across the table. “Give it-!”Princess Rainbow Dash blocked her friend with a well-placed hoof in the face as she scanned the list with increasing disgust. “Meet with seaponies…debrief Princess Rarity after the gryphon summit…authorize parade routes and finalize vendor lists…approve official parade balloon selection?!” Princess Rainbow Dash scoffed. “Zounds, woman, are you trying to kill yourself before the celebration tomorrow? You have subordinates for a reason; foist some of this drudgery off on them!” “Sheesh, you don't even have a lunch break scheduled!” Princess Pinkie Pie said, craning her neck over to look at the list. “You’re working nonstop until the ceremony at the park! Everypony in the entire world is having fun right now except you!” “I have all night tomorrow to have fun!” Princess Twilight said, snatching her list back with a huff. “And there’s still a lot of work to be done so you’ll forgive me if I’m not as enthusiastic about the festivities as you two are.” “For such a bookish mare you have nary a shred of poetry in your soul! Look around!” Princess Rainbow Dash said, gesturing to the crowds of ponies flooding the streets outside. “Is this not glorious?! Hundreds of thousands of ponies come to celebrate our triumph! A million voices crying out a jubilant hurrah as testament to the resilience of the Equestrian spirit! Where is thy patriotism? Where is thy pride?! Where is thy bloody holiday spirit?!” “There will be plenty of time for "holiday spirit" after everything is in order.” Princess Twilight said. “Somepony has to make sure that everything gets done before tomorrow and since everyone else has their hooves full with thunderstorms and monster sightings and name changes-” “Come again?” Princess Rainbow Dash interrupted. “Oh…Pinkamena wishes to be referred to as Pinkie Pie from now on.” Princess Twilight said. “Pinkie Pie?!” Princess Rainbow Dash spluttered. “Pinkie Pie.” Princess Twilight confirmed. “Pinkie Pie?!” Princess Rainbow Dash groaned, turning to the princess in question. “Pinkie Pie!” Princess Pinkie Pie said cheerfully. Princess Rainbow Dash gaped wordlessly at her beaming friend for a few moments, trying to find the right words to express how she felt about her friend's name change before finally settling on a flat, matter of fact- "No." Princess Rainbow Dash said. “No what?” Princess Pinkie Pie said. “I refuse to stand by idly and allow you to address yourself by such a…such a childish title!” Princess Rainbow Dash huffed. “Told you.” Princess Twilight sing-songed, sipping her tea smugly. “Why not?!” Princess Pinkie Pie pouted. “Because thine is a silly name, one unbefitting a Princess of Equestria!” Princess Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes. “Well thine is a silly haircut but you don’t see me crying about it.” Princess Pinkie Pie said, childishly sticking her tongue out. “The Eighties bid thee to return thy hairstyle to them at Your Highness’ earliest convenience as glamorous rock musicians are most distraught without it.” “Oh, rich jest from the mare who resembles a neon pink gorgon in the morning." Princess Rainbow Dash laughed, lightly flicking one of Princess Pinkie Pie's wild curls with the tip of her wing. "My mane is perky and fun!" Princess Pinkie Pie snapped. "Just like my new name!" "Of course it is, forgive me!" Princess Rainbow Dash said, chuckling. "I'm sure our subjects will be thrilled to know their princess has styled herself after a common household pastry. Very respectable; very regal." “There is nothing common about the noble fruit pie!” Princess Pinkie Pie bristled, conjuring a hot pie out of thin air and aiming it menacingly at Princess Rainbow Dash. “But maybe you need to have a proper taste of pie to realize that!” “Ah, so the Pastry Princess hungers for a duel!” Princess Rainbow Dash cackled, summoning a small thundercloud that sparked and sent patrons diving under tables and scurrying out the door. “Very well, I shall endeavor to satisfy your voracious appetite! Have at you!” “No no no no!” Princess Twilight said, stepping between her bickering friends. “Nopony is having at anypony especially in the middle of a coffee shop! Pinkamena-sorry, Pinkie Pie- put the pie down! Rainbow Dash, call off the cloud! I am not going to have two princesses brawling in public like a couple of common thugs!” “Alright, alright! Sheesh!” Princess Pinkie Pie said, devouring the entire pie in a single bite. “Don’t get your stars in a swirl, Twilight, we were just fooling around.” “Thy blanket tis wetter than October.” Princess Rainbow Dash said, banishing the stormcloud with a kick. “And thy humor tis drier than July.” “Sorry, ladies, but I’ve got a lot on my plate right now so if we could hold off on all pastry and lightning fighting until after the party is taken care of, that would be just peachy.” Princess Twilight sighed. “What’s there to take care of? I’ve been on top of the Party Planning Parliament for months now!” Princess Pinkie Pie said. “The food is at the palace ready to be cooked, the staff has signed on for time and a half, the bands have all been paid and are doing soundchecks this afternoon, the buses are being lit on fire for the Baltimare Ravens' Cheerleading Squad to jump over on their motorcycles-” “Wait, what?!” Princess Twilight said, flipping through her party plans furiously. “When did I sign off on that?!” “-and we’re almost set to go for the midnight fireworks celebration!” Princess Pinkie Pie said. “Almost?” Princess Twilight said. "You're going to have to do better than almost.What's the hold up?" "Welllllll...Rainbow Dash and I were testing out the fireworks over Trottingham and we were thinking that the fireworks we planned on using could be a lot more…zippy. They just needed more…zazz. Am I right to say that?” “The Pastry Princess speaks true; the pyrotechnics are severely lacking in anything remotely resembling zazz.” Princess Rainbow Dash said. “Hardly worthy to celebrate a filly’s cuteceañera let alone a royal occasion such as this.” “So I was wondering if you’d let us use some of your…personal stash.” Princess Pinkie Pie said. “My personal-” Princess Twilight’s eyes lit up in recognition. “Oh…I don’t know about that. There aren’t many of them left and I was…I was hoping to save them a little longer.” “I know they mean a lot to you but come on, Twilight! Genuine Lulamoon Fireworks! Lost pyrotechnic arts from the Golden Age of Magic returning for one night only!” Princess Pinkie Pie pleaded, eyes glittering with anticipation. “What better way to celebrate a thousand years of successful rule than with a great big flaming firework dragon soaring through the starry sky?!” “Well…I suppose it would be nice to see them again.” Princess Twilight admitted. “And they’re not really doing anypony any good collecting dust in my attic so…okay.” “That's the spirit!” Princess Pinkie Pie said. "I'll see about moving them to the staging area after I get some of this other stuff done." Princess Twilight said. "No need." Princess Rainbow Dash said. "The Princess Formerly Known As Pinkamena took the liberty of helping herself to your fireworks already." “WHAT?!” Princess Twilight cried.“You took my fireworks without asking me?!” “No, I took your fireworks without asking you first.” Princess Pinkie Pie corrected. "And when was I going to find out about that?!" Princess Twilight said. "When they started blowing up over the city?!" "I didn't see the point in telling you once you signed off on it!" Princess Pinkie Pie said. "And if somepony kept her mouth shut like I asked her to-" "Oh, was I not supposed to tell her?" Princess Rainbow Dash gasped. "A thousand apologies I completely forgot. My ludicrous eighties manecut must be growing into my brain and robbing me of my sanity." “H-how many did you take?!” Princess Twilight said. “Oh...about half.” Princess Pinkie Pie said casually. “Half?!” Princess Twilight squeaked. “Pinkamena do you-” “Pinkie Pie.” Princess Pinkie Pie corrected. “Do you even know how powerful those fireworks are?!” Princess Twilight said. “The last time just one of them went off, it knocked an Ursa Major into the air so hard it never came down again!" “This isn’t my first time handling fireworks, Twilight, I know what I'm doing.” Princess Pinkie Pie said soothingly. “I have them stored in dry packing containers far away from any kind of heat or flame and sealed with anti-flame magic. So unless somepony starts shooting spellbolts at the crate willy-nilly I don't think there's anything to worry ab-" A thundering explosion split the air followed by the unmistakable sound of fireworks screeching towards the sky. Princess Twilight looked out the window to see magnificent trails of smoke and fire spiral into the air in a hundred different directions before exploding in a stunning variety of shapes and colors that stood out even against the bright noon sun. The crowd gasped and oohed in delight as starbursts, streamers and brightly colored peonies lit up the sky. But soon enough, their cries of joy turned into cries of panic as dozens of fireworks came screaming down the street straight towards them. The three princesses sprang into action immediately, blinking out of the coffee shop and on to the street in the path of the oncoming fireworks. A bright pink bubble barrier popped up over the crowd while Princess Twilight and Princess Rainbow Dash went to work defusing the oncoming fireworks. Princess Twilight shot a flurry of purple spells at the rockets, banishing one in a puff of smoke, turning another into a small family of ducks and capturing yet another in her enchanted saddlebag where it puffed out harmlessly. Princess Rainbow Dash took a more direct approach, blowing several fireworks up into the sky with magical gusts of air and striking several more down with precision lightning bolts. Within moments, the last of the rockets had been banished or detonated harmlessly. “Well…that takes care of that.” Princess Twilight sighed No sooner had she spoken than a small pencil sized rocket came streaming out of the sky and zipped past the side of Princess Twilight’s face. It shaved a huge chunk out of Princess Twilight's starry mane, down to the scalp, before popping harmlessly against the barrier. There was a barely contained snerk of laughter behind them and Princess Twilight turned to fix the guiltily giggling princess with the most withering glare she could muster. “Okay…that wasn’t my fault!” Princess Pinkie Pie said, holding her hooves up defensively. “I was standing right here, you girls were looking at me; I didn’t do it!” Ignoring the breeze tickling the naked scalp where her mane used to be, Princess Twilight took to the sky with the other princesses hot on her heels. They climbed up and over the skyscrapers and towards a billowing multicolored column of smoke rising from a small warehouse district in the center of town. “Knows what she's doing” my hoof! Princess Twilight rolled her eyes and led the other princesses in a dive straight into the heart of the smoke. As soon as they touched down, Princess Rainbow Dash had a few rainclouds douse the remaining fires and clear away the smoke so they could see what had happened. Packing crates and parade floats lay charred and shattered into a thousand pieces. Balloon packages were melted together in grossly misshapen balls of burning rubber. Streamers, banners, and confetti floated through the air as burning little flakes of ash and soot. The giant paper mache parade princesses lay dismembered and scattered around the courtyard in a grizzly tangle of limbs, wings, and horns. “This…this was everything I needed to decorate for the party!” Princess Pinkie Pie moaned in horror as she lifted her own ruined paper mache parade float head off the floor. “Months of preparation…thousands of bits…and it’s all ruined! Who could have done this?!” There was a stirring underneath a pile of rubble and the three princesses whipped around, ready for a fight. “Why don’t you ask them yourself?” Princess Twilight said, powering up her horn. “Looks like they’re still here.” “Who goes there?!” Princess Rainbow Dash cried, aiming her horn at the stirring pile of rubble. “Stand, worm, and prepare to defend thyself! I know not the purpose thy wanton mayhem serves but if it is violence you desire I shall slake thy thirst ten times over! On guard, villain!” The rubble shifted and a pair of small forehooves shakily stuck out of the wreckage in surrender. “P-Please d-don’t slake my thirst, ma’am!” A small and disturbingly familiar voice cried. Pleasedon’tbeLunapleasedon’tbeLunapleasedon’tbeLunapleasedon’tbeLuna. Princess Twilight silently prayed as she moved the rubble aside, revealing- “L-Luna?!” Princess Twilight choked. The rubble cleared and Luna lay trembling inside, singed but otherwise unharmed, curled around saddlebag protectively. "Oh...hi Princess." Luna said airly looking up from her little shelter dreamily. “What are you…how did you…did you do all this?!” Princess Twilight spluttered. “All what?” Luna said, sitting up and looking around at devastation woozily. “Oh wooooooooow, those fireworks had some kick to them, didn’t they?” “Don’t feign ignorance with us, girl!” Princess Rainbow Dash said sternly. “Do you honestly expect us to believe that you had no hoof in this disaster when we find you cowering under rubble at the crime scene?!” “Why?” Princess Pinkie Pie asked, pitifully cradling her charred float head against her chest. “What did Princess Parade Pie ever do to you?” “I-I know this looks bad, but I swear this wasn’t my fault!” Luna said, shakily getting to her legs. “Well…not entirely anyway. See, there were these invisible shadow rats who were causing all sorts of chaos through the streets but nopony else could see them but me and they pushed this buggie down the hill and Celestia was getting me ice cream so I had to stop it with my magic but the baby was with her daddy so the rat ran away and I followed one here to try and corner it but it had all these other rats waiting in the shadows and I tried to fight them all but they were too strong and…and…hey, Princess, did you get a manecut or something?” “Luna…” Princess Twilight seethed, struggling to keep her voice calm. “Y-yes, ma’am?” Luna squeaked. “My office…ten minutes.” Princess Twilight said through clenched teeth, vanishing in a flash of purple light, leaving Luna standing under the baleful glares of the other princesses. “I…uh…suppose this is a bad time to bring this up but you ladies wouldn’t be interested in hearing my theories about Tirek, would you?" Luna chuckled nervously. “Luna…what was the one thing I asked you to do after our lesson last week?” Princess Twilight said. “N-not to get into any trouble at the party.” Luna mumbled. “And how might one charitably describe today’s...incident?” Princess Twilight said. “T-trouble.” Luna admitted. “Trouble.” Princess Twilight echoed. “To put it mildly.” In the confines of Princess Twilight’s office, Luna tried to blend into the chair as best she could which proved to be more difficult than she had anticipated under her mentor’s weary look of disappointment. The shadow creatures had, of course, completely disappeared before she could show them to anyone so Luna was left sitting in her teacher’s office trying to explain that the thousands of bits of damage she left in her wake was the result of an invisible shadow monster. “Honestly, Luna, if I wasn’t so upset with you I’d be impressed.” Princess Twilight said, rubbing her eyes as she looked at the papers before her. “Not many mares are capable of singlhoofedly wrecking an entire citywide party in less than five minutes.” “I-I know it looks bad, Princess, but you have to believe me!” Luna said. “It wasn’t my-” “Parade floats pulverized, banners butchered, fireworks enflamed and ponies panicking everywhere!” Princess Twilight rambled on. “I haven’t seen this much public damage since that incident with the banana stand and at least then I didn’t have Princess Pinkamena breathing down my neck about her ruined party plans! I haven’t seen her this unhappy since they discontinued Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs and that was almost fifty years ago! She’s been planning this party for decades, Luna! Literally…decades! Those fireworks you set off were over six hundred years old, forged by the hooves of St. Trixie herself! There were only five hundred of them left in existence and half of them just went up in smoke along with half of my mane! I heard the explosion all the way across the city! I thought we were under attack or something and I flew all the way across town only to find my student embroiled in another harebrained mess born out of-” Princess Twilight stopped herself when she saw that Luna was doing the best she could to imitate the chair she was sitting on, eyes down and face red. Princess Twilight took a deep breath through her nose and sighed softly to herself. “I’m sorry Luna…I’ve had a very stressful week and believe it or not this is nowhere near the biggest thing I’ve had to deal with.” Princess Twilight said gently. “Whatever you may have done, you don’t deserve to be berated by a cranky old pony for popping a few party balloons and I apologize for yelling at you just now.” “It’s okay; I did make more of a mess of things than I wanted to.” Luna chuckled weakly. “It occurs to me that I’m drawing conclusions before I’ve heard all the information.” Princess Twilight said. “Since I seriously doubt you intended to cause mass devastation and chaos, why don’t you tell me your side of the story?” As Luna quickly recounted the tale of the shadow creature causing havoc, the crease in Princess Twilight’s forehead only worsened and by the time Luna finished, she was all but glaring in intense thought. “I see." Princess Twilight said after a moment of thoughtful silence. "You do realize how this sounds, don’t you?” “Like I’m pinning the accident on a creature nopony else saw or heard?” Luna said. “I know it sounds crazy but you have to believe me when I say that I didn’t have a hoof in what happened today! I was trying to stop that…that thing from doing any more damage than it had already done!” “By tearing your way through the parade staging area and setting off hundreds of extremely powerful fireworks into a crowded city?” Princess Twilight said, raising an eyebrow. “That shadow thing pushed a baby cart down a hill towards an oncoming cart.” Luna said. “Does that really sound like something I’d do?" “No…your particular brand of mayhem is usually founded on good intentions, misguided though they almost always are.” Princess Twilight said. “Which brings us to the matter at hand.” “Look, if you want me to work off the damage I caused I’d be more than happy to do that after the celebration tomorrow but right now-” Luna said. “That’s not what I meant.” Princess Twilight said, taking a softly glimmering scroll out of her desk. “I have complete faith that Princess Pinkamena will take care of everything before the party tomorrow; that’s not why I wanted to speak with you.” “Before you so explosively restyled my mane, I received an Infallible Messenger charm from Princess Rarity. She said that you paid Princess Fluttershy a visit this morning and told them a very interesting story.” Princess Twilight said, tapping the scroll on the desk with a small burst of magic. In an instant, a small blue image of Princess Rarity stood on the otherwise blank page, looking up at Princess Twilight as it spoke. “Just a quick heads up, dear, your student Luna came to us this morning to tell us about how our recent difficulties are all signs that Tirek is returning from the grave.” The image chuckled in a tinny echo of Princess Rarity’s voice. “I don’t want to color your interpretation of her account with our own but let’s just say that she put the cart before the horse if you’ll pardon my expression. Just thought I’d let you know that you have a very determined young mare on the prowl for you with a very interesting story to tell.” “So,” Princess Twilight said, looking up from the scroll. “What do you have to say about-” “Oh, and P.S.” The scroll chirped. “I saw what you were planning on wearing tomorrow night and…well…I made a few alterations. It’s a very lovely gown, really it is, but I’m afraid it’s not tailored to suit our rather...generous proportions. The curse of the alicorn is to never again be able to buy off the rack so I decided to open up the back a bit to allow your flank room to breathe. We don't want it to rip on through again and expose itself like it did at the-” Princess Twilight crumpled the scroll up and tossed it in the fireplace, shooting a blast of purple fire from her horn to incinerate the message before it could finish. “As I was saying.” Princess Twilight said, hiding her embarrassment with a cough. “What’s this story you thought was important enough to warrant breaking into my friend’s home?” “It’s more than just a story!” Luna said, fumbling around in her messenger bag for her notes. “I have facts to back it up!” “Facts that apparently don’t conclusively point towards your conclusion as much as you seem to think it does.” Princess Twilight countered, producing two more scrolls. “Princess Applejack and Princess Fluttershy seem to think that you’re drawing conclusions based on connections that don’t exist. So what exactly makes you think that the misfortunes we've been suffering are in any way related to Tirek?” “Too much has been happening lately for it all to be coincidence!” Luna said, spreading her notes on the desk in front of Princess Twilight. “We’ve had misbehaving weather in the past but never like this! The earthquakes under Canterlot have been steadily increasing in magnitude for almost three months now and reports of monster sighting have gone up almost fifty percent in the last two weeks alone!” “I’ll admit we’ve had more than our share of difficulties lately.” Princess Twilight said evenly. “And while it is odd that so much is going wrong so quickly…I fail to see how this is a result of Tirek’s influence. Where are you getting this theory from?” “From…from Dusty Tome’s Intro to Equestria Lore and Legends.” Luna said sheepishly. “Oh stars and stones, Luna, you’ve got the whole city in an uproar over a fairy tale?!” Princess Twilight sighed. “You were there when Tirek fell!” Luna said. “Didn’t he promise to return and regain control of Equestria after a thousand years?” “He did.” Princess Twilight admitted. “But the words of a dying madman aren’t proof that Tirek somehow managed to cheat death and they aren't proof that he's somehow returning tomorrow night.” “Even if it isn’t, would a few guards really be missed at the party?” Luna said. “Even a few minutes’ notice and a couple dozen guards on standby could make enough of a difference for the rest of the guards to react in time to save the city!” “Luna…” Princess Twilight sighed. “I know this is hard to believe but I promise you that the evidence speaks for itself!” Luna insisted. “Princess Rarity seems to think otherwise.” Princess Twilight said. “With all due respect to Princess Rarity, she doesn’t understand magic like we do!” Luna said, fighting to keep her mounting contempt for Princess Rarity out of her voice. “You think you understand sorcery better than a mare that has had literally centuries to perfect her craft?” Princess Twilight said, raising an eyebrow. “I had no idea I was tutoring such a prodigy.” “I understand that she’s your friend and you respect her opinion but you understand the magical significance behind all this chaos better than anypony alive!” Luna insisted. “Despite what Princess Rarity and the others think, you have to know that there’s something here they’re not seeing! Something suggesting something bigger at work here!” “I’m flattered by your faith in me, Luna, but I don’t think I have any more insight into this matter than the other princesses do.” Princess Twilight said. “And the other princesses don’t think that this theory of your is anything to worry about.” “Yes, but-” “The fact of the matter is that five intelligent, worldly mares who I have shared rule with for nearly a millennium, seem to believe that our limited defense resources would be better used protecting the crowds of people at the Gala tomorrow than standing watch for an old menace we haven’t seen in over a thousand years.” “I understand your concern, Princess, but I still think-” Luna said, her frustration mounting. “You think you know more about protecting this kingdom than we do?” Princess Twilight said, a little more contentiously than she intended. “The other princesses believe that-” “The other princesses don’t know what they’re talking about!” Luna blurted out before she could stop herself. A rare flash of anger darkened her mentor’s features and Luna knew she had crossed a line. “That is enough, Luna!” Princess Twilight said sharply. Luna quailed under her teacher’s stern gaze as her teacher rose from her desk to her full height. “I understand that you’re frustrated, I really do. But the other princesses and I swore to serve and protect the ponies of Equestria nearly one thousand years ago and we are not going to forsake that promise now! We have been working round the clock to ensure the safety of everypony who attends the Gala and I will not allow you to slander their commitment to duty just because they don’t jump to action when you bid them to! Do I make myself clear?!” Luna felt a hot wave of anger wash over her and for a moment she thought of telling her mentor exactly what she thought of her friends’ ‘commitment to duty.’ But a fiery glare from her mentor effectively quelled Luna’s anger and replaced it with bitter disappointment. “I…I understand.” Luna mumbled. “I don’t doubt that you mean well, Luna.” Princess Twilight said gently. “But you let your imagination get the better of you more often than it should. Your behavior is seriously getting out of hoof and the fact that you were willing to break into my friend’s home to prove a point is troubling to say the least.” “But-” “I understand that you’re concerned.” Princess Twilight said. “But I need you to promise me that you’ll stop this wild fear mongering and trust that we will do everything in our power to keep you and everypony else safe.” “But I-” “Promise me, Luna.” Princess Twilight echoed. “I…I promise.” Luna sighed dejectedly. “Thank you.” Princess Twilight said. “Now then, unless there’s anything else you’d like to discuss, I’m afraid I need to get back to work. Enjoy your weekend and I’ll see you back her Monday for our usual time together.” “Alright…”Luna said, collecting her notes from Princess Twilight’s desk and slouching towards the door. “Wait.” Princess Twilight sighed, thoughtfully chewing her lip as she always did when deliberating over something important. “Leave…leave your research here. I’ll take a look at it if I have a moment.” “Really?! You mean it?!” Luna squeaked, nearly bouncing on her hooves before she caught herself in mid bound. “I mean…thank you for your consideration, Your Highness. I trust you will not be disappointed in my findings.” “I’m rarely disappointed with you, Luna.” Princess Twilight said. “Your affinity for the apocalyptic livens up my workday, if nothing else.” “Of course…thank you…again.” Luna stammered, passing her notes to her teacher. “I’ll just be outside then if you have any questions.” “Oh, there’s no need for that.” Princess Twilight said, waving her off with a casual flick of her hoof as she started paging through Luna’s notes. “You’ve had quite a day and I’m sure you’d appreciate a nap right about now.” “Oh no, it’s no trouble at all! I feel f-f-fine.” Luna said, yawning in spite of herself. “Luna.” Princess Twilight said gently. “Yes, Princess?” Luna said. “That was my polite way of saying that you’re dismissed for the afternoon.” Princess Twilight said. “I have a lot to take care of before I can make time for your report and I tend to work better without my student sticking her head in every five minutes to see if she can help me with something.” “Oh, n-no, you won’t even notice I’m out there!” Luna said. “I won’t make a peep, I promise-” “Luna.” Princess Twilight interrupted. “Y-yes, Princess?” Luna said. “Do I have to order you to get some sleep?” Princess Twilight asked sweetly. “Y-yes ma’am! I mean, no ma’am! I mean...I-I’ll be going then.” Luna chuckled nervously, slipping out the door. Princess Twilight shook her head, smiling in spite of herself as she set aside her party plans and turned her full attention to Luna’s notes. She woke on empty frosty crags with endless darkness extending in all directions. Her breath fled her chest and the cold crushing void pressed in all around her. Her cursed immortality preserving her against death but did nothing to dull the awful, crushing agony and soul numbing cold that pressed in all around her. Miles below her, the world she grew up on slowly turned its back on her. The blinding white sun rose over the empty wastelands of the moon and she screamed a silent scream that would last a thousand years. "Luna...Luna!" Luna blearily opened her eyes as somepony gently shook her shoulder. She rolled over to see the same purple eyes that had been glaring at her moments before now turned up in sisterly worry. She unconsciously flinched away from her sister’s touch and her eyes must’ve betrayed fear lingering after her nightmare because Celestia’s concerned frown only deepened. “Wha…what time is it?” Luna muttered, rubbing her eyes and casting around Celestia’s bedroom for a clock. “Just after six.” Celestia said. “I didn’t want to wake you but…Luna, is everything alright?” “Fine.” Luna said curtly, avoiding Celestia’s gaze. “I’m fine.” “You didn’t sound fine.” Celestia said. “You were tossing and turning and mumbling something about “white hot fire.” “It’s nothing.” Luna said casually. “Just…remembering the incident with the fireworks.” “I still don’t know how you managed to survive that.” Celestia sighed. “Most other ponies would have been burned to a crisp!” “Well, I guess I'm lucky to know more defensive magic than most ponies do.” Luna said. “Has there been any word from Princess Twilight yet?” “Shining Armor stopped by a few minutes ago.” Celestia reached into her sweatshirt’s pocket and pulled out a crisp purple envelope sealed with a familiar six pointed gold star. “I would have woken you sooner but-” “Did Shining Armor mention anything when he dropped this off?” Luna asked, quickly snatching the letter away. “No…he actually didn’t talk much, now that I think about it.” Celestia said. “He was unusually grumpy for some reason and he left almost immediately to “pack” for something.” “What did he mean?” Luna asked, fearfully running a hoof along the envelope. "What did he need to pack for?" “He said that the letter would explain everything and then left in a huff.” Celestia said. “Whatever it was, he definitely wasn’t happy about it.” “That can’t be a good sign.” Luna said, swallowing nervously. “Want me to open it?” Celestia said, noting her sister's discomfort. “N-no that’s fine!” Luna said hastily. “I-I can manage by myself.” “I never said you couldn’t.” Celestia said. “I just asked if you wanted some help.” Luna stared at the innocuously terrifying envelope in her lap, ashamed that a few words on a piece of paper could completely destroy her nerves. On one hoof, Princess Twilight might have taken her research to heart and convinced the other princesses to take her seriously. On the other hoof… “Okay.” Luna said, passing the envelope to her sister. “Go ahead.” Celestia opened the envelope and immediately frowned as three small slips of paper slid out. “What are those?” Luna asked as Celestia stooped to pick the slips up. “They look like three first class train tickets…to Fillydelphia?” Celestia said, passing the tickets to her sister so that she could inspect them. “I…I don’t understand.” Luna said helplessly. “What does this mean?” “Well…I guess there’s only one way of finding out.” Celestia said, turning her attention to Princess Twilight’s letter. My Dearest Luna, After carefully reviewing your findings and discussing your claims with the other Princesses, we have come to the following conclusion; You are in need of a very very long vacation. Your passion for learning and skill with magic has served you well in the past and I have truly enjoyed our time together. Ever since you started studying under me almost ten years ago, I have enjoyed enormously watching you develop as a sorceress. You are a wonderful student, a gifted learner and a truly amazing young mare so please don’t misinterpret what I am about to say as disappointment on my part. There is such a thing as being too invested in your work and I am sad to see someone so young begin to burn out so soon. These latest "theories" are, if nothing else, signs of stress that has gone untreated for years. You spend all your free time in the library, you hardly make time for yourself or your friends, and you hardly sleep unless I force you to. It's not healthy to devote yourself so completely to your studies that you lose sight of your health. I blame myself for this; I think I pushed you too hard from the very beginning with lessons and academics you were not mature enough to deal with. I answered your every question and taught you on your vacations and on weekend when you should have been out playing with your friends. I’ll admit, I saw a younger me reflected in your eager eyes and I was so happy to have a student interested in learning magic after so many years but I fear I’ve done wrong by you, Luna. A lonely life in a library was never what I wanted for you, Luna. Late nights awake with only a candle and outrageous tales to keep you warm is no way for a young mare to live her life. Therefore, I am formally suspending our teacher-student relationship, effective immediately. I am revoking your special access to the Duke’s Archives and suspending any and all access to advanced magical texts in any of the Arcane Libraries in Equestria. Furthermore, I am sending you and your sister to Fillydelphia for the foreseeable future. I have arranged for lodging for you and your sister as well as jobs working for the Fillydelphia Courier Service for which you will be properly compensated. Celestia will begin her post-graduate weather work under Dr. Hailstorm Borealis of the Fillydelphia Weather Institute but you will pursue no further magical studies other than what we have already covered together. I believe that Fillydelphia is an ideal location for you spend some time to clear your head. The ponies are very kind, the city is located in the center of the Equestrian Heartland and the local library has nary a hint of magical text for you to kill yourself over. There are plenty of historical landmarks for you to explore including Independence Hall, the First Parliament Building and the Tomb of St. Trixie among others. I urge you to commit yourself fully to this period of rest so that we may begin to undo the years of stress your studies have caused you. I will not set a return date for you and if I am still not convinced that you are in a healthy state of mind when your term resumes, you will take non-advanced classes by post. I realize that this may seem harsh to you right now and any anger or resentment you might be feeling towards me is completely understandable. But know that I only want the best for you Luna and if this time apart guarantees us a future spent in healthy pursuit of magic then it is important that we take advantage of it. The last thing I want is for you to burn out before your time. Sorcery can be a dangerous road to walk and I would not so callously risk your well-being to help you achieve greater knowledge and power. Please do not think of this as a punishment for you have never given me cause to punish you. Instead, I hope you come to view this separation as a time of rest and reflection as you prepare to enter into your next phase of magical studies. I pray that you may look on this letter in a warmer light some day and realize the depth of what I am trying to convey to you. Your (Former)Teacher, HRH Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Equestria. P.S. I am sending Lt. Shining Armor with you to help you settle in. I don’t expect you to run into any trouble but you may rely on him should things get hairy. The Lieutenant is an extremely capable young stallion and you will find yourself in good company riding with him. P.P.S. The Fillydelphia Public Library might be worth a visit. While it doesn’t have the kinds of magical texts you’re accustomed to, it has a very extensive section on Ancient Poetry that you may find enlightening should you take this letter to heat. > Welcome to Fillydelphia > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Welcome to Fillydelphia Luna woke from a short and blissfully dreamless sleep to miles of Equestrian countryside blurring past her window. In the distance, she could see Canterlot shrinking further and further away as the train bore her down the tracks towards Fillydelphia and away from the world she knew and loved. Despite Princess Twilight’s insistence that her trip to Fillydelphia was merely a vacation, Luna couldn’t help but feel abandoned by her teacher when she needed her the most. Whatever she might have said in her letter, Princess Twilight hadn’t even indulged Luna’s appeals and refused to see her when she showed up at the palace, all but begging her teacher to reconsider her decision. Her pleas fell on deaf ears and the next morning Luna boarded a train for nowhere with everything she owned crammed in a single magically enhanced saddlebag. Luna rolled over in her seat, grateful that neither Celestia nor Shining Armor were in the car with her. The trip from Canterlot had been stiflingly uncomfortable as Celestia's awkward attempts to make conversation were shot down by Shining Armor's cold silence and thinly veiled jabs at Luna. The young officer made no attempt to hide his displeasure at his latest posting or his resentment towards Luna for getting him banished along with her. Banished. The word buzzed around in Luna's head like a stubborn fly, refusing to die no matter how hard she tried to kill it. Worse still, Princess Twilight’s letter did nothing to convince Luna that she had been wrong about Tirek. The only thing that had changed was now she was too far away to do anything about it. She expected that Princess Twilight would have convinced Spike to reassign his City Watch effectively killing any hope they might have had of catching Tirek before he burned half the city down. For the first time since she was five years old, Luna felt completely useless and at a loss as to what to do next. “…Luna’s fault that I’m here in the first place!” Luna perked up as she heard her name dropped. Throwing a brief invisibility charm over herself, she crept over the seats as silently as she could and peeked through a crack in the door. Celestia and Shining Armor stood in the hallway outside the cabin, glaring at each other over trays of snacks from the food cart. “Keep it down!” Celestia hissed. “Luna barely got any sleep last night and she doesn’t need you waking her up with all your bellyaching!” “Oh I’m sorry!” Shining Armor said, his voice dripping in false sincerity. “How dreadfully boorish of me to speak while Her Highness is sleeping! Forgive me; I’ll try and breathe softer so I don’t disturb her delicate sleep cycle.” “You know, you have just been awful ever since we left Canterlot!” Celestia said. “I know this isn’t exactly how you wanted to spend your gala evening but do you really have to be so grumpy?” “Well sorry for harshing your mellow, Celestia, but I’m just a little bit infuriated that your sister completely destroyed my career and ruined my life!” Shining Armor said. “And I think I have the right to be!” “Gods you are such a drama queen.” Celestia said. “You get one assignment you don't like and you cry like it's the end of the world! Did you really want to deal with drunk partygoers and rowdy tourists all night?” “You don’t understand; I was going to be the parade! I was going to march next to Princess Twilight’s float!” Shining Armor moaned. “I had royal party duty all night' do you know what that means?! It means I was going to Princess Pinkamena's Major Millennial Milestone Masquerade! I busted my hump for years to get chosen for this position! I thought all those pre-dawn patrols and midnight shifts were finally paying off!” “But nooooooo; somepony had to go and play with fireworks!” Shining Armor ranted on. “Now I’m getting shipped off to the boonies while Flash Sentry takes my spot in the parade route! Flash…Freaking…Sentry! We're talking about the guy who only joined the Royal Guard because of his pathetically hopeless puppy crush on Princess Twilight! He’s the one protecting the Princess and marching in the parade while I’m stuck foalsitting a couple of grown mares because one of them couldn’t tell the difference between reality and a fairy tale!” “Hey, back off!” Celestia hissed, stealing a glance at the door. “It’s not Luna’s fault Princess Twilight decided to send you with us!” “No, but Luna finally gave her the excuse she needed to ship me off once and for all.” Shining Armor muttered. “What are you talking about?” Celestia said. “Princess Twilight didn’t send you with us to get rid of you; she sent you because she trusts you! She said you were the most qualified guard for the position!” “Oh, of course!” Shining Armor cried. “The only earth pony in the Dusk Guard just happens to be the one she “trusts” to send out to East Trixie Nowhere! Yeah, clearly the most “trusted” guard in the division is the one she needed to send out to the quietest town in Equestria to “protect” her student who’s “taking a break from her studies.” “What’s with that tone of voice?” Celestia demanded. “What are you implying?” “Don’t play dumb, Celestia.” Shining Armor said. “You know exactly what I mean.” “Luna is taking a break!” Celestia hissed. “This is just a little vacation for her to clear her head before she goes back to her studies!” “You don’t honestly believe that, do you?” Shining Armor scoffed. “Do you honestly believe that Princess Twilight is going to take Luna back as her student after everything that’s happened? Do you really think that she’s rewarding Luna for causing a city wide panic and thousands of bits of property damage?” “It…it doesn’t matter if I believe it or not!” Celestia said after an uncomfortably long silence. “Luna believes it and she doesn’t need you telling her otherwise right now! She’s upset enough as it is without you dumping on any more guilt.” “Oh, I’m sure she’s just devastated that her little stunt all but cost me my job.” Shining Armor said. “I think Luna’s only disappointed that Princess Twilight isn’t giving her special magic lessons anymore!” “That’s not…” Celestia stopped herself, sighing through her nose. “Look, I get that you’re disappointed, I really do. I suppose I’d be as surly as you are if I thought I was getting shipped away from life as I knew it because of somepony else’s mistake....but picking on Luna isn’t going to make anypony feel better!” “I...I know." Shining Armor sighed and trailed off helplessly. "But it just-" “It sucks, I know.” Celestia said. “But this isn’t Luna’s fault and acting like it is doesn’t do anyone any good.” “I know she didn’t do this on purpose.” Shining Armor said. “But is it too much to ask for an apology? I’d still be on parade duty if she had just stayed home yesterday but she’s moping around like she’s the only one who got a raw deal! Is it too much ask her to take responsibility for her actions?” “No…but Luna’s never been good at that.” Celestia said. “I’ll see that she makes this up to you as soon as possible because I really need you two to have each other's backs out here. You're both going through a really rough time and you need to be friends especially if...especially if Luna is out here longer than she thinks she will be.” “I guess.” Shining armor admitted glumly. "So long as I'm out here, I might as well try and make the best of things." “I’m sure this isn’t as bad as you’re making it out to be.” Celestia said. “But if Princess Twilight is trying to get rid of you then she is the stupidest old nag in existence and completely undeserving of your devotion.” “I deserved to march in that parade.” Shining Armor muttered. “I worked harder than anypony else to get picked for it.” “I know you did.” Celestia said. “And I was a princess, I'd make you the captain of my guard in a heartbead. But look at it this way; you’re basically getting paid to take a vacation! Flash Sentry and every other guard in the city are going to spend the next twenty four hours stressed out and overworked while you have the honor of partying with the queen of college debauchery.” “Careful; Princess Pinkamena is going to take that as a challenge.” Shining Armor laughed. “She’s welcome to take me on anytime she wants to.” Celestia said proudly. “Let’s see what kind of party the “Party Princess” can throw on a college student’s budget…there'll be other parades, Shiny.” “I know...I just thought this was finally my chance to shine.” Shining Armor sighed. Luna dove back across the seats and threw her jacket over her head as Celestia and Shining Armor came back into the cabin. “You think she’s still asleep?” Shining Armor whispered. “Yeah.” Celestia said, craning over her sister’s “unconscious” form. “Let her rest for now; she’s had a rough couple of days and I don’t think it’s going to get any easier for her once we get there.” Celestia settled back into her seat and Luna tried her hardest to fall asleep again as the train rattled along the track bringing her closer and closer to the last place she wanted to be. As they stepped off the train platform and into Fillydelphia proper, Luna was immediately stuck with the sensation that she had walked into a bizarre historical theme park complete with sweaty tourists being herded by excessively perky tour guides. Brightly colored pushcarts lined smooth cobbled streets that snaked their way around small parks and trees growing out of the side of the road. Historical buildings and monuments shared walls with coffee shops and cell phone stores. Old-timey ice cream parlors sat on the same block as upscale restaurants, antique shops and ruined statues from Equestria’s past. Fillydelphia was a place where a thousand points of history converged on the present and under different circumstances, Luna might have been thrilled to spend a day exploring such a city. Today, however, Luna was invested in loathing Fillydelphia and everypony in it with every waking fiber of her being. “It’s an…interesting city, I’ll say that much.” Shining Armor said, looking around. “That’s not the word I would have used.” Luna grumbled as a uniformed guide approached them. “Hi there!” The perky pegasus said. “My name is Chaperon and let me be the first to welcome you to Fillydelphia! Would you be interested in taking a walking tour of Fillydelphia’s rich historical landmarks compliments of the Fillydelphia Chamber of Commerce?” “Not particularly.” Luna said. “Luna!” Celestia chided. "Don't be rude!" “Sorry but I think I’d rather get my horn sawed off with a rusty nail file than go sightseeing right now.” Luna said, pushing past the crestfallen tour guide. “I’m sorry about her.” Celestia said, apologizing to Chaperon. “My sister seems to have forgotten her manners back in Canterlot. I’m sure the tour is amazing, but we’ve had a long trip and I think we need to find the mayor’s office so we can get our housing situation squared away.” Chaperon directed them towards a tall building at the end of the square and left Luna’s presence as quickly as she could, latching on to another tour group almost immediately. “Well congratulations Luna, you’ve officially alienated the first and only person to be nice to us so far.” Celestia said, rubbing her eyes in exasperation. “Would it kill you to fake a smile and pretend to be nice for a few minutes?” “It might.” Luna called over her shoulder as she set off for the mayor’s office at a brisk pace. “Best not to risk it.” Celestia and Shining Armor shared a glance and a sigh before trotting after Luna. The mayor’s office sat nestled between the First Equestrian Parliament Building and the Fillydelphia Grocery Barn. Once inside, Luna’s temper was further aggravated as the secretary in charge of housing forced them to present multiple forms of identification and (to Luna’s disgust) submit to a hair test. By the time the DNA results came back and the three of them had filled out a small book of paperwork each, Luna had taken to fantasizing about ways to creatively burn Fillydelphia to the ground. “Sorry for all the fuss, folks, but I’m sure you understand why I’m asking so much of you.” The secretary chuckled, sliding three ancient looking keys across the desk. “Mayor Blueblood would have my hide if I gave the keys to Princess Twilight’s house to the wrong people.” “Excuse me?” Shining Armor said. “Princess Twilight’s house?” “Yes; I’m sure you’d agree that given the circumstances, a little more precaution is called for.” The secretary said. “Th-there must be some sort of misunderstanding.” Luna said. “Why would Princess Twilight send us to Fillydelphia only to give us the keys to her house in Canterlot?” “I’m sorry, I thought she would have explained this you before you came.” The secretary said, straightening her glasses. “Princess Twilight called the mayor's office yesterday and instructed us to put you up in her vacation home here in Fillydelphia." "Really?" Celestia said, glancing at Luna. "She never mentioned anything about a vacation house." "Yes, Princess Twilight has been a land owner and part time resident of this city ever since she started tutoring St. Trixie nearly three hundred years ago." They secretary said, dropping her voice to a whisper. "Her Highness values her privacy, as I'm sure you know, so I think she'd appreciate it if you kept this fact to yourselves.” “I can’t believe this.” Shining Armor said as they left the secretary’s office. “Did Princess Twilight say anything about us staying at her house while we were here?” “No, shockingly enough Princess Twilight didn’t seem keen on talking to me once she kicked me out of my dorm.” Luna muttered. “I thought we were going to be slumming it in townhouse or something; nopony said anything about a royal vacation home! I think this trip is finally starting to look up for us!” Shining Armor said, flinging the front door open with a cheery kick of his hoof. WHUMP “Ow!” The door collided with something soft with a painful yelp. “You were saying?” Luna said, gently opening the door to reveal a stylishly dressed pink pegasus clutching her nose and rolling around on the ground. “Oh crap, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there!” Shining Armor cried, running to the pegasus’ side. “Are you okay?” “Ooh...I think so.” The pegasus said, squinting around at the ground. “You wouldn’t happen know what happened to my glasses, would you? I think they fell off when my nose crumpled like a soda can.” “Again, really, really, really sorry about that.” Shining Armor said, bending down to pick up a pair of lime green spectacles. “Are these them?” “Thank you, you’re very…very…” The pegasus trailed off as she got her first good look at Shining Armor. “Niiiiiiice.” “Uh…are you okay?” Shining Armor said, stealing a worried glance at Celestia. “Oh, very nice.” The pegasus breathed softly, looking Shining Armor up and down. “Very nice indeed.” “Hey, do you want to see a doctor or something?” Shining Armor said, gently placing the back of his hoof against the pegasus’ forehead. “You’re looking a little red there.” “No…you’re really fine.” The pegasus said woozily. “I-I mean, I’m fine! Really, I’m fine!” “You sure about that?” Shining Armor said. “You look you took a pretty mean knock there Miss…miss...” “This is the part where you tell him your name.” Luna said as the pegasus continued to zone out. “Huh? Oh right! Names! I've got one of those! Cadence to meet you, I’m Nice.” The pegasus said quickly offering her hoof. “Wait, no, I’m not nice! W-well, I mean I’m nice but I’m not Nice, not as nice as you and not nice like…uh…” “You wanna start over?” Shining Armor laughed. “Sure, let’s go with that!” The pegasus said. “I’m Cadence and it’s very nice to meet you.” “I’m Shining Armor.” Shining Armor said, offering a hoof. “As in knight in shining armor?” Cadence said. “Uh, I guess.” Shining Armor said. “I’ll bet you are.” Cadence muttered. “Come again?” Shining Armor said. “S-so you’re town in new, right?” Cadence said, finally letting go of Shining Armor’s hoof. “I mean-” “Yeah, we’re town in new.” Shining Armor chuckled. “How'd you know?” "Call it a lucky guess." Cadence said, nodding at the luggage strapped to their backs. "Good guess." Shining Armor laughed. "The three of us are moving into the old house on Peach Street." “Nice to meet you!” Celestia said, stepping forward. “I’m Celestia and the grumpy looking mare behind me-” “Celestia!” Luna hissed. “-is my sister Luna.” Celestia said. “We’re going to be your new mailmares starting today.” “And we’re just so happy about it.” Luna said flatly. “Nice to meet you both.” Cadence said with a smile and little nod of her head. “I knew I hadn’t seen you three around before.” “Is it that obvious that we’re Canterlot kids?” Shining Armor laughed “Well the Canterlot University sweatshirt is another give away.” Cadence chuckled, nodding at Shining Armor's clothes. “It's just that I deal with a lot of young ponies in my line of work and I definitely would have remembered seeing you around before.” “Your line of work?” Shining Armor said. “What kind of work pays to hang out with other ponies all day?” “The matchmaker kind.” Cadence said, producing a pearly pink business card with a flick of her wing. “A matchmaker?” Celestia said, suddenly perking up. “You mean you get paid to hook ponies up with each other?” “Well, it’s a bit more involved than that.” Cadence said. “Our compatibility system is very intensive and there's a lot of paperwork to handle but I really enjoy it. I like to think I’m helping ponies build lasting relationships and possibly connect them with their soul mates.” “Oh please.” Luna muttered. “Luna!” Celestia said sharply. “I’m sorry about her, Cadence, my sister is the most rabid anti-romantic you’ll ever meet.” “I’m not an anti-romantic!” Luna insisted. “I just don’t think it’s possible to find a meaningful relationship by matching question and answer forms…no offense.” “You know, saying ‘no offense’ doesn’t make it any less offensive.” Celestia hissed. “No, it’s alright; I completely understand your skepticism Miss Luna.” Cadence said diplomatically, passing Luna a hot pink brochure from her saddlebag. “But I think my results speak for themselves. Of the two hundred and sixty two couples I’ve matched, one hundred and eighty-three have married and fifty-three are still in committed relationships today. Since we opened almost three years ago, Mi Amore Matchmaking Agency has successfully supervised three hundred group dates, fifty-four romantic retreats and nearly one hundred personalized wedding packages." “Wow that’s…that’s actually impressive.” Luna admitted, idly paging through the brochure. "I can confidently say that no other dating service produces a higher rate of personal satisfaction, Cadence said. “And I’ve got a binder full of wedding photos if you need more proof than that.” “No, that’s okay; I believe you.” Luna said, passing the flyer back to Cadence. “I’m...I'm sorry if I was a little rude just now; it’s been kind of a long day.” “Keep the flyer.” Cadence said. “You’re welcome to swing by anytime for a free consultation and access to our network of young single ponies. I don’t think it would be hard to find somepony you’d like.” “O-oh, no thanks.” Luna stammered. “I’m actually not going to be here that long so I’m not looking for anything serious.” “You have anything in the tall dark and handsome variety?” Celestia said. “Preferably somepony that looks like they stepped out of one of her vampire novels.” “Celestia!” Luna cried, flushing pink. “I could always bring over the Tall Dark and Handsome Binder if you want to page through it.” Cadence said. “You actually have one of those?" Luna said. "Wait, no! I'm fine; really I am!" “Are you sure?” Cadence said. “Because I have a brother I think you might-!” “I-I’m quite capable of picking out my own stallions, thank you very much!” Luna stammered, looking away. “Don’t take it personally; she gets this way whenever anypony brings up her love life.” Celestia said. “Or lack thereof I should say.” “Stop talking!” Luna spluttered and the other three shared a chuckle at her expense. “Well, if Luna’s not interested, do you think could do me?” Shining Armor chimed in. “E-excuse me?!” Cadence squeaked. "Y-you want me to do you?" “Yeah; you think you could set me up with your dating service?” Shining Armor said. “Oh!” Cadence said. “I’m sorry, I thought you said…well, it doesn’t really matter what I thought you said, of course I can set you up with somepony. Why don’t you give me a call at the number on the card and we can get together for a date sometime?” “A date?” Shining Armor echoed. “T-to set you up with a dating profile of course!” Cadence said, tugging on her pink sweater collar nervously. “I-I didn’t mean a date date with me, did you think I meant a date date with me because I totally didn’t mean a date date with me unless you thought I was talking about a date date with me, is that what you’re thinking?" “Uh…no?” Shining Armor said uncertainly. “Oh wow is that the time?!” Cadence said, quickly checking her bare wrist. “Wow, I’d love to stay and chat more but I’m totally late for that thing in the place with the people so I’ll let you guys get settled. It was nice meeting you all!” And before Shining Armor could say anything else, Cadence trotted down the street as quickly as she could. “She was…nice.” Shining Armor said, turning the card over in his hooves thoughtfully “If a little odd.” Luna said, watching Cadence trip over a mailbox when she stole a glance over her shoulder. “Come on.” Celestia said, rolling her shoulders uncomfortably under her saddlebags. “We should probably go find the house before Cadence comes back and asks Shiny to marry her." “1139…1141…1143…1145!” Celestia looked up from the map at the house at the end of the street. “I think…I think this is it!” Luna looked up at the house in question and tried her very hardest to hate it with very little success. “No way…” Shining Armor breathed, shaking his head in disbelief. “No freaking way! Are we really living here?!” A tall willow tree bent over the front yard and cast a long shadow on the immaculately tailored garden brimming with violets, dragon hearts, and lavender. A cobblestone pathway led past a wrought iron gate, snaking its way through the grass and up a set of steps to the oldest looking house on the block. Purple and white brick and wood stacked itself two stories high in an elegant Old Amareican design. A balcony overlooked the street below and a stain glass window etched with Princess Twilight’s cutie mark made Luna wonder how the simpletons of Fillydelphia failed to realize that this was Princess Twilight's house. “Luna, come on!” Luna looked up from the house to see that her sister and Shining Armor were already through the gate and opening the front door. She sighed, shaking her head as she trotted up the path and into the house. A polished oak staircase rose in front of Luna as she passed through the front door and hung her jacket up on the coat rack to the left. To her right, Shining Armor was already testing out the rather impressive entertainment system in the lounge. The living room was furnished with worn, comfortable looking chairs, purple sofas and polished hardwood furniture. A fireplace was carved into the far left wall next to a strange looking silver pad that Luna had never seen before. Celestia was already in the kitchen taking stock of their food situation so Luna took it upon herself to investigate upstairs. As she headed up the stairs, pictures of Princess Twilight and her friends beamed down at her from their immaculately polished frames. The pictures got older and older climbed the stairs, beginning with a picture of Spike and Princess Rarity at a boating regatta and ending with a small print of the first portrait the princesses sat for nearly eight hundred years ago. The stairs ended at a small landing that overlooked the kitchen and dining room below. The stain glass window caught the midday sun and shone down on the landing in a strange purple light. To her right, a hallway lead Luna to a grandmaster bathroom complete with a Jacuzzi tub set in the marble floor and a waterfall shower with tropical plants growing along the faux stone wall. To the right and left of the bathroom were two fully furnished bedrooms. The room to her left was brightly lit with a small balcony overlooking the backyard garden and walk in closet. The room to her right was decorated in darker colors and contained a fully stocked bookshelf and writing desk. After the briefest moment of hesitation, Luna tossed her bag into the darker room and closed the door behind her. “How cool is this place?!” Shining Armor squealed, practically bounding out of the bedroom at the other end of the hall. “Does Auntie Twilight know how to live or what?!” “It’s…it’s not as bad as I thought it would be.” Luna admitted as the pair headed down the stairs and joined Celestia in the kitchen. “Not as bad as you thought it would be?!” Celestia spluttered. “This place is awesome!” “We could never afford a place like this in a million years!” Shining Armor said, flopping on the couch with a deep sigh. “We’re literally crashing in a royal vacation house rent free!” “Thank your aunt for us the next time you see her.” Celestia said, sticking her head in the fridge. “Hey! We got cider!” “Well I’m glad to know that she’s putting our taxpayer bits to such good use.” Luna sniffed. “You know, Luna, you could at least pretend to be on vacation.” Shining Armor said catching a bottle of cider Celestia tossed at him. “I know this isn’t exactly where you want to be right now but there’s no harm in having a little fun so long as we’re here, you know?” “Since when did you get so cheery?” Luna grumbled. “Since a certain matchmaker decided she wanted to make Shiny her match.” Celestia teased. “Really?” Shining Armor said. “I didn’t get that impression at all.” “S-seriously?” Luna said, sharing a brief glance with her sister. “Yeah, she was just being nice.” Shining Armor shrugged. “Nothing really out of the ordinary.” "So mares are just really nice to you for no reason and you've never questioned it?" Luna said. "Yeah, for about as long as I can remember." Shining Armor said. "It's the darnedest thing." “Uh…Shining, honey, Cadence was pretty clearly making a pass at you.” Celestia said. “You know that right?” “What?!” Shining Armor laughed. “No way!” “Yes way.” Celestia said. “Most definitely way.” Luna added. "Even Luna picked up on that!" Celestia said. "Yeah, even I picked up on-hey!" Luna cried. “She just met me!” Shining Armor said. “She doesn’t even know me! She even offered to set me up with somepony else; what makes you think she wants to go out with me?” “Oh come on, have you seen yourself lately?” Celestia said incredulously, gesturing vaguely at Shining Armor. “If we hadn’t gone to preschool together I would have locked you down years ago!” “R-really?” Shining Armor said. “Oh yeah, I would have hit your flank like the hoof of an angry god.” Celestia said casually. “I would have tapped you so hard that whoever pulled me out of you would have been crowned the next Princess of Equestria. I would have-“ “Oh gods, I can’t hear this right now!” Luna cried, stuffing her hooves in her ears. “I-I could stand to hear a little more.” Shining Armor admitted. “As happy as I am that we’re getting to know each other better than I ever wanted to, aren’t you two forgetting something?” Luna asked. “You know, a certain tall dark and horny demon hellbent on destroying all of Equestria and enslaving all of-” Luna stopped short as the mystery pad in the corner of the room started sparking and glowing with a strange silvery light. Before she could investigate it, two boxes suddenly appeared on the pad with a pair of identical pops. “Looks like we found out what the pad is for.” Celestia said. “What the heck is that?” Shining Armor said, creeping towards the boxes hesitantly. As if in answer to his question, a cream colored envelope appeared on top of the largest box with another pop. “I think this is our job.” Celestia said, examining the letter. “Our job?” Luna echoed. “Princess Twilight mentioned she set us working for a courier service, didn’t she?” Celestia said, opening the letter. “I guess they’re putting us to work right away.” “On a holiday?” Shining Armor said, shaking his head. “That’s just brutal.” “To Misses Celestia and Luna, 1145 Peach Street, Fillydelphia, Amareica, Equestria.” Celestia read, pausing to take a sip of her cider. “The Central Equestrian Courier Service is pleased to welcome you into our ranks and we hope this is the beginning of a long and fruitful partnership.” “Thanks a lot; I’m so looking forward to my thrilling future in postal service.” Luna grumbled. “You will be responsible for delivering parcels that are either too large or too valuable to be trusted with conventional mail services.” Celestia read on, ignoring her sister. “You will receive packages directly via the Transportation Pad we have installed in your living room. You will then deliver the packages in a timely manner to addresses in the greater Fillydelphia Area. Rush orders and emergency deliveries may be required and such instances you will be appropriately compensated for your extra time and effort.” “On behalf of everypony here at CECS, we welcome you to Fillydelphia and we wish you good luck in your new lives here. Signed, D. Hooves, CECS C.E.O.” Celestia finished, folding the letter in half. “That was quick.” Shining Armor said, inspecting the transportation pad. “I’m guessing Princess Twilight had this installed so you could just run the delivery service out of the house.” “That’ll save us a trip to the post office, won’t it Lu-hey!” Celestia cried as she caught Luna trying to sneak upstairs. “Just where do you think you’re going?” “Well I thought I was going upstairs to try and figure out some way to save us all from becoming Tirek’s slaves but judging from the tone of your voice, there’s something trivial you want me to do down here, isn’t there?” Luna said. “This is our job, Luna!” Celestia said. “You’re responsible for these packages as much as I am!” “They’re two measly packages!” Luna groaned rolling her eyes. “Do you really need my help delivering two packages?” “It’s not that I need your help but I’m not going to do your job for you while you lock yourself in your room and worry yourself into a knot!” Celestia cried. “You need to get out of the house! We’re in a completely different city surrounded by completely different ponies and all you can think about is the end of the world that’s not even happening!” “Tirek is coming back, Celestia!” Luna said. “I know that he is!” “Then where is he?!” Celestia demanded, looking around as if she expected to see Tirek hiding behind the couch. “This is the longest day of the thousandth year, isn't it? If he was going to come back, wouldn't he have done it by now?” “The day isn’t over yet!” Luna said. “There’s still a chance that he might return and-” “And what if he does?! What are you going to do to stop him?!” Luna silently fumbled around for an answer for several moments to no avail. “Luna, you're going to have to accept that even if you're right-.” "If?" Luna said incredulously. "Even if you're right, there's nothing you can do." Celestia said calmly. “So you want me to just stop worrying about the impending end of Equestrian civilization?” Luna laughed bitterly. “You want me to play tourist like you and Shining Armor and act like nothing is wrong?!” “I want you to come out with me and do the trivial job you were assigned.” Celestia countered. The two sisters exchanged challenging glares as Shining Armor looked between them uncomfortably. After a few agonizing moments, Luna broke her glare and started trotting down the stairs. “Fine.” Luna sighed, realizing it would be easier to just deliver the packages than it would be to try and budge her stubborn mule of a sister. “That’s the spirit!” Celestia said, suddenly cheerful. “You coming, Shiny?” “Sorry, girls, I’d love to help you guys out but I’ve already got a job of my own to handle.” Shining Armor said, kicking his hooves up and turning on the TV. “Gotta man the fort and make sure nopony tries to assassinate you or steal your stuff or something. I promised Princess Twilight I'd safeguard the house.” “Oh now you're the dutiful little soldier boy?” Celestia said, scribbling something on the back of the envelope and dropping it in Shining Armor's lap.“Here, make yourself useful.” “What’s this?” Shining Armor asked. “Just a list of essentials we need for the house.” Celestia said, steering Luna towards the door. “Essentials?” Shining Armor said, inspecting the list. “This is just-” “Essentials. And if you could pick up that stuff before we get back that would be just super.” Celestia said quickly, slamming the front door behind her “Essentials?” Luna asked. “Don’t you worry about him right now.” Celestia said, lifting the packages with her wings and flipping one on Luna’s back. “We’ve got mail to deliver!” “Okay, let’s see what we have here.” Celestia said, inspecting the packages as they made their way through the town square. “The smaller box is going to a jeweler Downtown called The Crystal Heart and the larger crate is headed for the Fillydelphia Player’s Society in Oldtown. Which one do you want to hit first?” “Let’s get this bigger package off our backs first.” Luna groaned, shifting her shoulders under the weight of the parcel. “Or should I say my back? Why am I saddled with the bigger package?!” “Oh quit complaining.” Celestia chided. “What would Princess Twilight say if she saw you moaning like a newborn foal?” “You know something?” Luna winced as she lifted the package into the air with her magic. “I’m starting to care less and less about what Princess Twilight thinks of me since I sincerely doubt her opinion of me could get any lower.” “Do you really think Princess Twilight would put you up in her personal guest house and practically pay for you to go on vacation if she hated you?” Celestia said. “Of course, I’m supposed to be on “vacation.” Luna muttered. “How could I have forgotten?” “Don’t start with that again.” Celestia said sharply as they turned down a sidestreet towards an old theater at the end of the block. “You are the only person who doesn’t believe Princess Twilight when she said this was just a temporary break.” “You really believe that?” Luna said quietly. “O-of course I do!” Celestia said. “Why wouldn’t I-” “I heard you talking to Shining Armor on the train.” Luna confessed. "The door was cracked and I eavesdropped on you guys in the hallway." “Oh gods, you heard that?” Celestia sighed. “Look, Luna, Shining Armor was way out of line-” “No he wasn’t.” Luna said. “He’s right; if I had just minded my own business, he would have gotten to march in the parade like he deserved to.” “That wasn’t your fault!” Celestia said. “How were you supposed to know that you were going to blow up a bunch of parade floats and Shining Armor was going to get shipped off to Fillydelphia?” “If it’s not my responsibility, whose is it?” Luna said. “It doesn’t matter if I intended to get Shining Armor exiled with me; I’m still responsible for what happened to him.” “Shiny’s a big boy; he can handle a little disappointment.” Celestia said. “Although…if the opportunity to do something nice for him arises, I would take advantage of it.” “I’ll try.” Luna sighed. “It’s the least I can do for losing him his parade duty.” “He’ll get over it.” Celestia said. “But more to the point, you’re taking this “banishment” thing the completely the wrong way! Has Princess Twilight ever given you reason to distrust her in the past?” “Well…not exactly.” Luna admitted. “So why are you doubting her now?” Celestia said. “I don’t know.” Luna muttered. “Maybe because that if I was in Princess Twilight’s shoes, I wouldn’t want to tutor me anymore either.” “You’re still beating yourself up over what happened yesterday?” Celestia asked. "Luna, you're never going to be happy here until you learn to let this go." "Easy for you to say; you've never screwed up as much as I have." Luna mumbled. "Of course I have!" Celestia said. "Gods, Luna, I'm not perfect! Just because I haven't had an accident with pyrotechnics doesn't mean I don't make mistakes! I just...look, you know clouds, right?" "Clouds?" Luna said. "The big puffy rain machines!" Celestia explained. "Yes, Celestia, I know what clouds are." Luna said, rolling her eyes. "What's your point? "Clouds just kind of are." Celestia said, looking up at the puffy white clouds drifting on the lazy afternoon breeze. "They don't care about what happened or what's going to happen; they exist entirely in the moment." "That's because they're brainless puffs of air!" Luna said. "Are you telling me I should be a brainless puff of air?" "No just...be." Celestia said. "Are you happy worrying your head off about Tirek?" "No, but-" "And do you enjoy beating yourself up about what happened yesterday?" Celestia said. "Well...not especially." Luna admitted. "So why even think about that stuff?" Celestia said. "Why even waste all that brainpower of yours on problems that can't be solved? Be the cloud, little sister; be the cloud." “Your philosophy needs a little work there, Neighto.” Luna laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’re going to be fine, Luna.” Celestia said, holding the theater door open for Luna. “You know that, right?” “Yeah…I guess so.” Luna sighed. “We’re going to have nice, long, relaxing vacation and you’ll be back to your dusty books and freaky spellcasting before you know it!” Celestia said cheerily. “And if Princess Twilight were here right now, she’d agree with me." "Oh of course she would; who could disagree with the wise and powerful Celestia?" Luna said. "No, she really would!" Celestia said as they entered the dusty old theater lobby. "She would say "Luna, my faithful and only student, don't worry about a thing! I promise you that-" “Everything is going to be okay!” Luna and Celestia froze with their hooves on the theater door as the unmistakable voice of Princess Twilight came from inside. “Okay that was weird.” Celestia chuckled nervously. "That almost sounded like-" “Twilight Sparkle, Heir of Magic and Princess of the Equestrian peoples!” Celestia was saying something but Luna wasn’t hearing her. She was through the door and in the theater in a flash and there, standing in the middle of the stage surrounded by dozens of mirrors was Princess Twilight. Clad in her finest royal regalia, Princess Twilight turned this way and that, posing and examining her reflection in the mirrors and mumbling something under her breath. “My faithful subjects!” Princess Twilight said, suddenly raising a hoof and examining her pose in the mirror. “Today, we stand before you to assume the sacred and solemn duty of guiding this new land out of the darkness and towards a brighter future full of happiness and…and…” Princess Twilight bent down to check a piece of paper on the ground. “Prosperity! Today we stand before you to assume the sacred and solemn duty of guiding this new land out of darkness and towards a brighter future full of happiness and prosperity for all! Nailed it!” Princess Twilight gave a little hop of joy as Luna gaped incredulously at her mentor. Since she left Canterlot earlier that day, Luna’s feelings towards her former mentor had run the gamut between wounded pining and bitter resentment. But now that she was here, now that she was standing just twenty feet away, all Luna could think about was how badly she missed being her student already. “Princess?” Luna croaked after taking a moment to find her voice. “Princess Twilight?” Princess Twilight turned away from her mirror and flashed a bright smile at Luna. “Oh, hello there! What are you doing-ooph!” Princess Twilight staggered back a few steps as Luna flashed in front of her and threw her hooves around her neck. “Princess, I’m sorry about the parade, I really am!” Luna pleaded. “I know you must be furious with me for flying off the handle like that but please let me go back to school! I promise I won’t work myself to death or break into your friends’ houses anymore! I know I messed up but it won’t happen again; please give me another chance to be your student! I promise, I won’t let you down!” “You want to be my student?” Princess Twilight said, edging away from Luna nervously. “I-I’m flattered, love, I really am but I don’t think I’m qualified to teach anypony anything just yet.” “Of course you are!” Luna said. “I know it must be disheartening to have such a magical pain in the flank like me for a student but it’s not your fault! You’re a great teacher and I would love nothing more than to study with you again!” “Uh, excuse me, have we met before?” Princess Twilight said, looking at Celestia nervously. “What are you talking about?” Luna said. “Don’t you recognize me?” “Should I?” Princess Twilight said. “I’m sorry, dear, but I’ve never met you before in my-” Princess Twilight stopped short as she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. “Ohhh!" Princess Twilight laughed. "Do you really think I’m Princess Twilight?!” “O-of course we do; who else would you be?!” Celestia said. “Sorry, dear, I’m afraid you have me confused with somepony else!” Princess Twilight said. Before Luna could choke out a response, a bright flash of green light consumed Princess Twilight and Luna suddenly found herself groveling at the hooves of a unicorn she had never seen before. Her eyes traveled up a pair of long black legs to meet a pair of strange green eyes glittering down at her in amusement. “P-princess?” Luna squeaked in confusion. “Not anymore.” The unicorn said, offering Luna a hoof up. “But thank you for the compliment! It’s comforting to know I can pull of royalty so convincingly.” “How…how did you…” Celestia babbled helplessly, looking at the unicorn who used to be Princess Twilight. “I don’t understand…how did you…how did you do that?!” “Nifty little trick, isn’t it?” The unicorn said, changing into a perfect mirror of Celestia in another flash of green light. “You wouldn’t believe how much time this saves me in the makeup chair.” “Woah, woah, woah!” Celestia cried, skirting away from her clone. “What’s with the freaky body snatching?!” “I prefer to think of it as body-borrowing.” The unicorn said, sashaying up to a mirror on the side of the stage and admiring Celestia’s form in the mirror. “And let me tell you, I wouldn’t mind borrowing this body for an evening or two.” “E-excuse me?!” Celestia shrieked, turning slightly pink. “For a character I’m playing for a couple of evenings next week.” The unicorn said, smiling innocently with Celestia’s face. “What did you think I meant?” “A-alright,that’s enough!” Celestia cried, flushing red. “I worked too hard on that body for a freaky spellcaster to borrow it like jacket! Out!” “Okay okay, calm down.” The unicorn chuckled, changing back to her original form with a flash. “It’s just a simple illusion: I’m not going to steal your body like a bloody changeling or something.” “I almost thought you were!” Luna said, suddenly enthusiastic. “Sorry, but that was amazing! That was perfect! I-I didn’t even know illusion magic could be that good! Did you study at the Royal University? Are you a member of the College of Glamour? What did you think of Princess Rarity’s treatise on sorcerous alterations?! Did you read the latest-” "Slow down there, love!” The unicorn laughed, bowled over by Luna’s sudden interest in her. “I’m afraid I’m no sorceress; just a humble thespian with a unique trick up her sleeve.” “A trick?!” Celestia squeaked. “You call completely stealing someone else’s appearance a trick?” “Celestia!” Luna chided. “Sorry about that; my sister is a rabid rhabdophobe-” “I am not!” Celestia hissed. “-and seems to have left her manners back in Canterlot.” Luna finished, ignoring her sister’s indignant squeaking. “Canterlot?!” The unicorn said, perking up. “You two are from the capitol?!” “Formerly.” Luna said. “We came out here because Princess Twilight-” “We came out here because we’re starting a new job.” Celestia said curtly, cutting across Luna. "And for no other reason." “We’re your new mailmares.” Luna said, levitating the crate on the stage. “My name is Luna and the mare you want to spend the night inside-” “Luna!” “-is my sister Celestia.” Luna said. “So nice to meet you both!” The unicorn said with a dazzling smile and theatrical bow. “My name is Chrysalis and on behalf of the Fillydelphia Players, welcome to Fillydelphia!” > Fireworks > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fireworks “I mean the resemblance is just uncanny! You even sounded like Princess Twilight!” “Thank you for saying so, love. You wouldn’t believe how many drab political speeches I had to sit through to get her voice down.” “That wasn’t part of the spell?! I just assumed your magic changed your voice to match your body!” “I wish it did; I could have saved a fortune on vocal impression classes.” “I’m seriously still tripping out about this; you sounded just like her! I thought you were her!” “Oh stop!” “Do you think I would have latched on to you like that if I didn’t think you were her?” “I’m sorry, am I to understand that you know Princess Twilight personally?” “Uh, well…not to brag or anything but I’m kinda sorta her best student and personal protégée.” “You’re kidding! Wait…are you the girl responsible for that mascot fiasco at the Mall of Equestria?” “N-no, that was Princess Twilight’s other student…Woona. Total spaz, that one. Princess Twilight actually banished her not too long ago.” “Oh you must know all about her then! I have so many questions I want to ask you! What’s the Princess like in person?! How much of that royal decorum of hers slips away when the cameras are off her?! Does she have any quirks or habits that would help me portray her better? Does she prefer coffee or tea or-” “A-HEM!” Luna and Chrysalis looked up from their conversation to see Celestia impatiently tapping her hoof on the side of the stage that was furthest from Chrysalis. “Do you need a lozenge, dear?” Chrysalis asked sweetly. “I think I have a few left in my saddlebag and that cough sounds rather nasty.” “Sorry to break up this lovely meeting of the Princess Twilight Fanclub,” Celestia said, dropping the crate on the stage with a thud that echoed throughout the empty theater. “But I need you to sign for this before we run out of daylight here.” “Oh of course!” Chrysalis said, signing the note attached to the crate with a dark green butterfly next to her name. “Sorry, love, I will just talk your ears off unless somepony stops me.” “What’s in this thing anyway?” Luna asked as Chrysalis started prying the crate open. “Would you believe me if I said it was a severed dragon head?” Chrysalis said coyly, cracking open the crate and revealing a gigantic stuffed purple and green dragon head. “Isn’t that Spike’s head?” Luna said, lifting the head out of the box. “We've been waiting on this head for ages,” Chrysalis said, gesturing to a headless dragon costume disassembled backstage. “We’ve been rehearsing without the head for months now and I wanted to get at least one full dress rehearsal in before we go live next Friday. You have no idea how hard it is to take the Duke of Canterlot seriously when he doesn’t have his head on properly.” “It’s not any easier with the head on; believe me,” Luna sighed. “So I assume you’re doing a play about the royal family?” “Our Equestrian Cousin,” Chrysalis said, producing a pair of playbills and passing them to Celestia and Luna. “This year marks its fiftieth anniversary. Historical plays are rather popular at the moment and I thought it might be a good idea to capitalize on all this lovely patriotism before it evaporates. I could get you some tickets if you want!” “Really?” “Of course!” Chrysalis said. “I’d love to pick your brain on Princess Twilight and I’d be more than happy to have you in the front row making sure I stay in character.” “Sounds great!” Luna said enthusiastically. “I’d love an opportunity to see how your magic works in its natural environment and I’m sure Celestia would like to get to know the local night life, wouldn’t you,Celestia?" “Oh wow, we’d just love to see you impersonate people we see every day but we have that big important thing to do next Thursday so…yeah, no can do.” Celestia said evasively. “We open on Friday.” Chrysalis corrected. “Th-that’s what I meant!” Celestia said quickly, steering Luna towards the door. “We’ve got that big important thing we have to do on Friday and while we’d love to hang out with you more right now, we’ve got a job to do and you’ve got more body snatching to get up to so-” “Celestia!” Luna barked, worming her way out of her sister’s grip. “I’m sorry, Chrysalis, I’d be more than happy to give you some pointers on Princess Twilight but unfortunately, my sister is right and we still have work to do today.” “Yeah, sorry about that.” Celestia sighed theatrically. “But we have to be going now, bye bye, see ya! Drop by sometime and we can chat about stuff!” “But…I don’t even know where you live.” Chrysalis said. “Oh, right! We’re at 4323 Main Street!” “Isn’t that the Post Office?” Chrysalis said. “Is it?” Celestia said, edging towards the door. “Gosh, we just moved in and I completely forgot where we live! What a shame! I guess we’ll just have to-” “We’re at 1145 Peach Street,” Luna said. “Luna!” Celestia squeaked. “Big purple house in the middle of the block,” Luna said. "Can't miss it." “A-are you sure about that, Luna?” Celestia said nervously. “Because I’m pretty sure we’re on the opposite side of town!” “Nope. 1145 Peach Street,” Luna said. “Drop by anytime!” “Luna!” “Just pop in through Celestia’s window whenever you want!” Luna said as her sister practically shoved her out the door. “It’s on the second floor facing the river!” “Shut up!” Celestia cried. “Preferably in the middle of the night!” “Stop talking!” “She also likes to be surprised in the shower!” “LUNA!” Celestia hissed as they left a giggling Chrysalis behind in the theater. “Stop telling the freaky facestealer witch where I live!” “I'm telling her where I live,” Luna said. “I happen to find her fascinating.” “Well of course you do; you would find a warm bowl of chocolate pudding fascinating if it could do magic.” Celestia mumbled. “Okay, you have no right to call me rude ever again.” Luna said. “Not after that little sideshow you pulled back there.” “Sorry but you know how I get about...that kind of thing.” Celestia said, shivering slightly. “You mean my kind of thing.” Luna said. “You’re...you're different!” Celestia said dismissively. “You don’t walk around wearing other ponies' faces for a living.” “I turned you into a bear once.” Luna said. “You made me look like a bear.” Celestia said. “Because there’s such a difference.” Luna said. “You were positively frigid towards Chrysalis in there just because she has an unusual special talent!” “Well maybe you’d feel the same way if she jumped into your skin and started checking your butt out in the mirror!” Celestia said. “I’m sorry, I don’t care that she’s an actress; stealing someone else’s appearance is creepy no matter how you slice it.” “You think all magic is creepy.” Luna said. “I do not!” Celestia insisted. “Oh please, if I invented a spell that dispensed strawberry margaritas from the tip of my horn you would still think it’s creepy.” Luna said. “I think that has more to do with the fact that I don’t want to drink anything that comes from one of my sister’s body parts.” Celestia said as a chirpy pop tune signaled the arrival of a text message. “I don’t know where that horn’s been lately.” “Bite me, Sunbutt.” Luna snapped. “Is that Shining Armor?” “Yup.” Celestia said, flipping her phone shut. “He needs my help back at the house with some of the supplies; do you think you can manage the last package on your own?” “Weren’t you just talking to be about how we’re both responsible for delivering the mail here?” Luna said. “You barely made one delivery and now you want to bail on me?” “Somehow I knew you weren’t going to let me forget that.” Celestia groaned. “It’s fine.” Luna said. “I suppose I can manage one package on my own. You owe me though.” “Thanks Luna.” Celestia said, taking to the sky with a jubilant flap of her wings. “And don’t worry about us; take some time to enjoy the city! Check out some of the shops! Go sightseeing! Get a boyfriend! Enjoy yourself a little and we’ll have a little fun with our new neighbors tonight!” “Is that your definition of “a little fun” or mine?” Luna said. “Sorry, Luna, can’t hear you!” Celestia shouted as she climbed higher into the afternoon sky. "Celestia, I don't want to come home to find ponies swinging from our chandeliers!" Luna yelled. "See you back at home, Luna!" Celestia called back. "Celestia!" Luna groaned as her sister rose through the clouds and out of yelling distance, suddenly fearful that she was going to come home to ponies dancing on the tables and swinging from Princess Twilight’s chandeliers. Despite the fuss she made about doing the rest of the job by herself, Luna was grateful that she had some time alone collect her thoughts. Glancing at the clock above City Hall, Luna found that she had about three hours before she needed to deliver the package to the jewelry store so she decided to do something she had never done before in her life. She decided to take her sister’s advice and relax. Luna slowed her gait to a leisurely trot and decided to take a shortcut through Memorial Park on her way down town. Luna bought a pretzel and ate it as she perused the numerous historical landmarks that made the park famous. An ancient bust of Shining Armor’s ancestor, Shining Armor I, stood solemn watch over western gate as a memorial to those who gave their lives during the First Seapony War. A giant pink cloud rained chocolate milk into a pool protected by wrought iron fences; a leftover from when Princess Fluttershy tamed the great serpent Discord. Across from that was a statue of St. Trixie rearing up majestically; a tribute from the city on the anniversary of the demon sorcerer Starswirl's defeat. Luna took her time walking through the park, enjoying the scenery as a small part of her began to believe that this trip might not be as bad as she thought it was going to be. The Crystal Heart shared a small shaded courtyard with a tailor and a salon at the end of Main Street. A tall oak tree shrouded the shop in shadows so well that Luna walked past it three times before she even noticed it. The jewelry shop was a small, stately building of brick and hardwood and as she approached the front door, dozens of necklaces, rings and tiaras glittered enticingly in the afternoon sun. A sign on the post outside the door read: The Crystal Heart Fine Jewelry, Blacksmithing, and Metalwork Hours: 9am-6pm “Delivery!” Luna said brightly, knocking on the door. “CECS here with a package for you!” Luna pressed her nose against the frosted glass and after a few moments of silence, she cautiously nudged the door open and stepped inside. As she entered the shop, Luna was immediately struck by a heavy metallic smell and nearly blinded as the sun came in behind her and illuminated the hoard of glittering treasure inside. Rows and rows of tall oak shelves were packed with glass display cases housing the most astonishing collection of gemstones, precious metals, and ornaments Luna had ever seen. Fire rubies, star sapphires and tourmaline sparkled on backlit velvet pillows. Earrings of all shapes and sizes dangled and jangled on spinning displays across from sets of ornate unicorn wedding rings. Suits of bizarrely ornate armor stood at each corner and the walls were lined with rows of decorative swords, spears and shields. Luna had seen dragon hoards with less loot in them and for the briefest of moments, she wondered whether or not the owner was a dragon himself. “Hello?” Luna called, ringing the bell on the counter. “Is anypony in? I have a package you need to sign for!” After a long moment of silence, Luna considered ringing the bell again when her attention was seized by a necklace dangling off a peg next to the counter. At first glance, it appeared to be a simple silver choker set with a pearly blue crescent-shaped gemstone, but the more Luna looked at it, the more she noticed. Dark argent swirls snaked and shimmered their way around the band like clouds in the night and no matter how much sunlight shone through the window, the silvery necklace refused to reflect all but the palest light. Luna glanced around to see if anypony was looking and gingerly reached a hoof out to pick up the necklace. She jumped and gave a strangled cry of surprise as the necklace reacted to her touch, sliding off the rack and coiling around her arm like a snake. Luna shook her arm wildly, frantically trying to get the necklace (bracelet?) off before the shop owner came back and thought she was trying to steal it. She spied a small ruler behind the counter and tried to jam it between the necklace and her arm but to her surprise, the necklace shimmered and flowed around the ruler, bending like rubber but refusing to come off. She gnawed at it with her teeth and tugged at it with her magic but no matter how hard she tried to force it, the necklace remained firmly stuck to her arm. Luna heard some movement in the back of the store and started to panic. Thinking quickly, she stretched the necklace as far as it would go with the ruler and tried to jam her head through the gap between her leg and the band. She wriggled her head through just as the band snapped back, binding her leg to her neck and sending her crashing to the ground in a tangle of hooves and malicious metal. “Excuse me?” Luna rolled over and made a strangled squawking sound as a tall black earth pony stallion glared down at her in surprise. He stood a full head and shoulders above the counter that Luna barely came over herself and wore a smudged blacksmith apron over a white tee shirt and black slacks. He crossed the counter and stooped down next to Luna, inspecting her with a piercing emerald gaze. “Can I…help you with that?” the stallion drawled. “Hello!” Luna said sheepishly, rolling over to meet the stallion’s eye. “Sorry to bother you, but I think I need some help here! I was trying on the necklace and I must’ve triggered some kind of security system because it attached itself to me and-” “Excuse me?” the stallion said. “It what now?” “It leapt off the rack and started snaking and shapeshifting all over my body like it has a mind of its own!” Luna said, struggling feebly. “I tried to pull it off but it’s stuck around my hooves!” “I’m sorry, miss, are you trying to tell me that this necklace somehow came alive and wrapped itself around your neck?” the stallion said, glancing at the necklace skeptically. "As if by magic or something?" “I know this is hard to believe.” Luna said for what felt like the thousandth time that week. “But that’s exactly what happened!” “I don’t believe this.” the stallion muttered. “Do you really think this is something I’d willingly put myself through?” Luna said. “This is just…fantastic!” “Check the security cameras if you don’t-” Luna blinked owlishly as the stallion practically clicked his heels together in excitement. “I’m sorry…what?!” “I can’t believe it actually worked!” the stallion crowed, stooping down to inspect the necklace. “I thought I fouled up the distillation process somehow, but it actually moved! It changed shape! This is fantastic!” “Well I’m glad you’re enjoying this at least.” Luna said, wriggling uncomfortably. "You'll forgive me if I don't share your enthusiasm." “Sorry, but I thought that necklace was never going to move!” the stallion said, tapping the metal excitedly. “It’s been sitting there for months without budging an inch! I was going to move it to the bargain aisle tomorrow, but it worked!” “I’m sorry, do your necklaces usually have a mind of their own?” “They do when they’re made of moonsilver,” the stallion said, kneeling down next to Luna and examining the necklace intently. “Tricky stuff to work with; you have to distill it at night under moonlight for months or else it spoils. If you get it wrong, it just comes out like regular silver, but if you get it right-” “It tries to kill your customers?!” Luna said, squirming under the necklace’s gently constricting grip. “If you get it right, it’s the most versatile metal on the planet!” the stallion said. “You can do practically anything with it! It responds to its wearer’s thoughts and feelings and changes its shape to match! It’s like owning an entire jewelry box in one accessory; isn’t that fantastic?!” “That is fantastic!” Luna said. “You know what would be even more fantastic?!” “What?” “Getting this bloody necklace off of me!” “Alright, alright, hold still.” the stallion said slipping a hoof under Luna’s back and lifting her like she was a stuffed animal. His other hoof brushed along the edge of the necklace and lightly pressed on the glittering moonstone in the center. The necklace shuddered and sprang off Luna’s neck, coiling on the counter like a snake and lying still. “Thanks.” Luna said, rubbing her neck with her hoof. “Getting choked out by a necklace wasn’t the way I wanted to spend my Gala evening.” “You know, for somepony who wandered into a jewelry store, you’re not terribly enthusiastic about jewelry, are you?” the stallion said, soothingly stroking the agitated necklace. “It’s hard to be enthusiastic about jewelry that seems to be enthusiastic about killing you.” Luna said. “It wasn’t going to kill you.” the stallion said, rolling his eyes when he thought Luna wasn’t looking. “It just got...confused when you put your arm up against your neck; it didn’t know whether to turn into a necklace or a bracelet so it got sort of…jumbled.” “Jumbled?!” Luna said. “It’s a necklace! It’s an inanimate object! How in the world would something like that get jumbled?!” “Not sure; it may have had a violent reaction to your magic." the stallion said, lightly flicking Luna’s horn. “I’ve heard of magical materials reacting to unicorns differently; it may be picking up some residual magical energy from your horn.” “A-are you saying that this was my fault?!” Luna squawked. “Not at all!” the stallion said, throwing his hooves up defensively. “I’m saying it might be! I can’t say for sure but I’ve heard of earth ponies with metalworking cutie marks reacting to jade and adamant in weird ways. You wouldn’t happen to have an astronomy cutie mark or something like that, would you?” “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Luna said, backing up and blushing. “Is this a delivery or a third date?!” “Well it’s pretty clearly not a jewelry sale,” the stallion said, replacing the necklace on the rack. “Not a good one at any rate.” Luna closed her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath through her nose. “Okay…this has gotten way out of hoof so I’m going to start over. Hi, I’m with the CECS here in Fillydelphia and I have a package to deliver.” “Wait…you wouldn’t happen to be one of the new girls who moved in today, would you?” the stallion said, looking Luna up and down. “Luna, right? My sister ran into you outside of City Hall today.” “Your sister? Who's-” Luna’s eyes widened in realization. “You’re Cadence’s brother?” “Your stallion friend made…quite the impression on my little sister.” the stallion chuckled. “And somewhere in the lengthy voicemail describing his nigh supernatural beauty and perfection, your name came up.” “Sh-she didn’t try to set me up with you, did she?” Luna asked nervously. “Don't get me wrong; you seem like a really nice guy but I don't even know you that well...I don't even think I know your name." “Sombra.” the stallion said, offering his hoof. “And don’t worry; I told her for the millionth time that I’m capable of picking out my own dates…no offense.” “None taken; I told her the exact same thing.” Luna chuckled. “Thanks for throwing her off my trail.” “I bought you some time but she’ll be back.” Sombra said. “Cadence won’t be satisfied until every pony in Equestria is in a committed relationship. She's ambushed me with so many blind dates that I've had to start screening her phone calls for any signs of her usual romantic skulduggery.” “Goody.” Luna grumbled, withdrawing the small parcel from her saddlebag and passing a form across the counter for Sombra to sign. “I'm glad I have that to look forward to. In happier news, you’ve got mail.” “Excellent!” Sombra crowed, quickly signing the paper and tearing into the package. “I’ve been waiting on this for weeks!” “Whoa, slow down there.” Luna said as bits of wrapping paper and cardboard flew in her face. “Whatever it is, I’m sure it can wait.” “It can wait?!” Sombra echoed, taking a small velvet box out of the package. “Did your employers even tell you what you were going to be carrying around all day?" Luna was about to venture a guess when Sombra opened the box and revealed a dark red gemstone the size of a walnut. “Is that…is that a diamond?!” Luna squeaked, eyes bulging and mouth dropping open. “Not just any diamond.” Sombra said, holding the gem up so Luna could get a better look at it. “This is a Red Gala Diamond. One of ten cut from Big Macintosh, the largest rough diamond ever pulled from the mines of Appleoosa. Three rest in Princess Applejack’s Crown Jewels, three were donated to the Museum of Natural History by Princess Rarity, three were lost in a shipwreck nearly fifty years ago and the last one...the last one is right here. Twelve and a half carats of pure polished perfection priced at a cool fifteen hundred bits a carat.” “Y-you spent more than eighteen thousand bits on a single diamond?!” Luna spluttered, quickly realizing that she had been carrying a package worth more than her quarterly tuition. “Worth every bit.” Sombra chuckled, admiring his purchase. “I had to outbid a particularly draconian collector who may or may not have been an actual dragon but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to work with such a fantastic piece of jewelry! I mean look at this craftsmanship! It’s absolutely…perfect…” Sombra trailed off, glaring at the gem intently. He dove under the counter and returned with a pair of glasses that magnified his eyes to cartoonish sizes. He held the gem up to the light, turning it this way and that and peering at it so closely that Luna was afraid he was going to cut his eye on the edge of the stone. He weighed it in his hooves, tapped it against the counter a few times and finally (much to Luna’s disgust) ran his tongue along the edge of the diamond, smacking his lips intensely. “I-Is everything all right?” Luna said, worried that she somehow damaged the priceless gemstone while she was carrying it. “Hmm.” Sombra took off his glasses, placed the gemstone on the counter and brought his hoof down on top of it, shattering it into a thousand pieces. “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Luna cried, flinching away from the counter. “What did you do that for?!” “It was fake.” Sombra said, only the briefest of sneers betraying his displeasure. “Fake?” Luna said. “You mean it wasn’t a real diamond?” “Oh no, it was a real diamond.” Sombra said. “Just not a Red Gala. I should have known that no collector would let a Red Gala go for under twenty thousand bits." "But if it was a real diamond, how could you have broken it?" Luna said. "I may not be a jewelry enthusiast but aren't diamonds supposed to be hard or something?" "It's an old earth pony trick," Sombra said, picking up a heavy metal display rack with one hoof and twisting it into a knot. "If it comes from the ground, it's pretty much putty in my hooves. Picked it up from my mom along with the rest of the jeweler trade." "Okay, remind me to ask you more about that later," Luna said. "But how did you know it was fake? What if you're wrong?" “I'm not wrong. There were tiny imperfections in the cut. Small mistakes, to be sure, but mistakes than no jeweler would make when working with a chunk of Big Macintosh.” Sombra said. “And it was too clear. Red Gala Diamonds are slightly opaque; it gives them a deeper color than other red diamonds. But what really gave it away was the smell.” “The smell?” Luna asked. Sombra swept some of gems up in an envelope and passed them to Luna for her inspection. “What do you smell?” Sombra asked. “Nothing…wait.” Luna said, taking another sniff. “Wait…I smell alcohol. Alcohol and…rotten eggs?” “This gem was likely a clear diamond treated in a special furnace with red jade.” Sombra said. “Red jade adds color to other gems and emits a nasty smell when burned. The alcohol means that-” “Somepony tried to wash the smell away!” Luna said. “Exactly.” Sombra said. “I would have never guessed!” “It’s an extremely good counterfeit, I’ll say that much.” Sombra said. “I’m almost tempted to track this swindler down and ask them how they pulled this off before I call Princess Rarity’s Secret Fashion Police on them.” “Princess Rarity has a secret police force?” Luna asked. “Wh-what?! No!” Sombra said quickly. “Th-there’s no secret police force that deals with jewelry fraud and crimes against fashion, what would give you that idea?!” “You just said-” “Oh wow, is that the time?!” Sombra said, checking his bare wrist. “Sorry, I have to close up shop now and I’m sure you’ve got parties you’d rather be at right now.” “Nah, the party scene isn’t really my thing.” Luna said. “My sister invited our neighbors over for dinner so I’m probably going to do that and then curl up with a book and a cup of tea.” “Thrilling.” Sombra chuckled. “Try not to have too much fun with that.” “Trust me; I would have a much better time reading than trying to make awkward small talk over cheap beer and loud music.” Luna said. “Well, if you change your mind, I hear that there’s a pretty big party going on right now over on the east side of town.” Sombra said, flipping his phone open. “Cadence said she’s over on…Peach Street, I think. I was going to go hang out over there until the fireworks started.” Luna stiffened as a cold feeling of dread washed over her. “Peach Street?” “Apparently one of the older houses got some new residents and they decided to get the whole neighborhood together for a block party.” Sombra said. “The whole street is involved but the main party is at the big purple house…1145 Peach Street.” “No…no, there has to be some kind of mistake.” Luna mumbled, shaking her head. “We just got here; there’s no way she could have thrown something together so quickly!” “Are you alright?” Sombra asked. “She couldn’t have.” Luna said. “She didn’t!” She did. Luna stood next Sombra in the front doorway wondering where Princess Twilight’s house had disappeared to and what a frathouse was doing in its place. Festive banners dangled from the balcony outside and Luna had to part a curtain of streamers hanging from the front door in order to get in the house. Dozens of ponies packed every inch of the spacious mini mansion, talking, laughing and dancing to the throbbing pop music that blasted from the speakers. Red cups, pizza boxes and cupcake wrappers spilled out of garbage bags piled in corners. Pegasi perched in the rafters, showering crumbs of who knows what on Luna and Sombra as they passed. “So…nice place you’ve got here.” Sombra said, looking. “I really like the…uh…people hanging from the rafters. Very classy.” “CELESTIA!” Luna bellowed, cutting through the pulsing music and causing everypony in the house to turn and look at her. “Somepony called?” Celestia said, coming out of the kitchen wearing a purple lei and balancing pitchers of drinks on her wings “Celestia, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Luna hissed. “Being a good hostess.” Celestia said, turning to the crowd. “Who wanted another margarita?” “YAYYY!” The crowd of partygoers cheered, holding their cups in the air. “Hold up!” Luna cried, snatching the margarita pitchers away from her sister. “Nopony is getting anything until I find out why there’re ponies dancing on my tables!” “BOOOO!” The crowd hissed. “Oh boo yourselves!” Luna spat. “What are you people doing in my house?!” “Luna, stop being such a buzzkill and-” Celestia stopped short when she caught sight of Sombra. “Well hello there.” “Don’t.” Luna said. “Just don’t.” “I’m just saying hello.” Celestia said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.” “Sombra.” Sombra said, offering his hoof. “Pleased to meet you.” Celestia said. “Luna, aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” “Oh, of course; how rude of me.” Luna said. “Sombra, this walking affront to sobriety is my sister Celestia. She’s the one responsible for turning our lovely country home into the bacchanalian nightmare you see before you. Celestia, a word?” “Come talk to me later.” Celestia said, winking over her shoulder as Luna shoved her into the kitchen. “Damn, girl, you have more game than I gave you credit for. Less than a day in this town and you already bring somepony home; even I don’t work that fast.” “He’s the jeweler you were supposed to help me deliver to.” Luna said. “I’ve known him an hour at most; what makes you think I’m dating him already?” “Hey, I never said you were dating him.” Celestia said. “I just thought you brought him home for a little-” “Finish that sentence.” Luna hissed. “I dare you.” “Does that mean you’re not interested then?” Celestia purred, glancing predatorily at Sombra from across the room “Because if you’re not then I just might-” “Hey, focus!” Luna said, clapping her hooves in front of Celestia’s face. “What are all these ponies doing here? Why am I the last one to know about the party that was happening at our house? Where are all these margaritas coming from?!” “From the margarita machine, where else?” Celestia said, nodding over to a bright pink machine that hadn't been there when Luna had left the house that afternoon. “When did we get a margarita machine?!” Luna said. “You were with me all day, when did you have time to-” “Hey, Celestia, we need another round of drinks outside!” Shining Armor said, bursting into the kitchen wearing a flowery shirt and sunglasses. “Those piña coladas were a big hit!” “You!” Luna said, pointing a hoof accusingly at Shining Armor. “These were the essential supplies Celestia sent you for? A margarita machine and enough rum to drown every fratboy at Canterlot U?!” “I…uh…I-I think I hear somepony calling me.” Shining Armor chuckled nervously, edging towards the door. “I-I’ll catch up with you girls later!” “You seriously got Shining Armor to do your dirty work for you?” Luna said, shaking her head. “For shame, Celestia.” “Hey, Shining Armor wanted to have this party as much as I did!” Celestia said. “And I told you we were going to have a little fun with our neighbors tonight!” “The entire town is here!” Luna cried. “I never said it was going to be just our neighbors.” Celestia said defensively. “And I seem to remember somepony promising to come to my party if I helped her break into Princess Fluttershy’s garden house yesterday! You didn’t think a little thing like exile would get in the way of my Gala plans, did you?” “So you decided to throw one in Princess Twilight’s vacation house?!” Luna hissed. "Of all the stupid things you've done, Celestia-" “Calm down, it’s not like there are ponies swinging from chandeliers with our lampshades on their heads.” Celestia said. “I’M KING OF THE WORLD!” Luna and Celestia opened the kitchen door to see a colt swinging on the dining room chandelier with a purple lampshade on his head. “Okay, but to be fair, he was wearing that when he came in.” Celestia said, slowly closing the door behind her. “Do you have any idea what Princess Twilight will do to us if she finds out that you turned her private sanctuary into a frat house?!” Luna groaned. “For crying out loud; there are people playing beer pong on her antique dining room table!” “Luna, you act like I’ve never cleaned up after a party before.” Celestia sighed. “Remember the party I threw when I graduated high school?” “You threw a graduation party?” Luna said. “Exactly.” Celestia said emphatically. “You were out with Princess Twilight all night and when you came back the next day, you didn’t even notice that somepony threw up on your bed.” “Wait, what?!” “Princess Twilight is going to be up in Canterlot all night.” Celestia continued. “She’ll never even know that there was a party here.” “What about everypony else?!” Luna said. “Nopony is supposed to know that Princess Twilight even lives here and you invited them into a house that has pictures of her on every wall!” “Nopony has even asked about those yet!” Celestia said. “If they do we can just tell them that we’re renting the house from one of those odd ponies who’s a little too into the royal family.” “Celestia-” “Everything’s going to be fine Luna.” Celestia said, passing Luna a tray of cookies from the counter and shooing her out the door. “Now be a good hostess and pass these out.” "But-" Luna was shoved through the swinging kitchen door and into a sea of strangers who descended on the cookies like piranhas on a wounded cow. In a few moments of gory crumby disaster, Luna was left trembling, clutching a tray of crumbs in fear. “Are those cookies?” Luna turned around to see Chrysalis leaning against the wall, sipping a fruity drink from a blue cup. “They were.” Luna said, passing Chrysalis the tray of crumbs. “Maybe you can scrape enough crumbs together to make a new one.” “That’s alright; I’ll get the next batch.” Chrysalis laughed. “Nice party by the way.” “I wish I had known about it sooner.” Luna said. “I’m glad you got the invitation at least.” “How could I have resisted?” Chrysalis said, looking around the house approvingly. “One simply cannot pass up an invitation to a party at a royal residence. It’s funny; I would have thought that Princess Twilight would keep more books in her vacation home but I can't seem to find any.” “Wh-what are you talking about?” Luna chuckled nervously. “Wh-why would you think Princess Twilight lives here?” “Oh please; gigantic purple house with a big star shaped window and pictures of the royal family hanging on every wall?” Chrysalis chuckled. “Not exactly the secret hideaway our princess thinks it is, is it?” “I don’t know.” Luna said glancing around at the crowd. “They don’t seem to have caught on.” “Don’t worry, love, I’m not going to tell anyone.” Chrysalis said. “I’m just happy I found the place after Celestia accidentally covered up the address with party balloons. I must’ve walked past the house four times before I found it.” “Didn’t Celestia help you out when she saw you wandering around out there?” Luna felt a twinge of pity for her new friend. “I think she was busy in the kitchen or something.” Chrysalis said. “She must still be busy because I haven’t seen her all night.” “Uh…Chrysalis?” Luna said. “I don’t know how to tell you this but…I don’t think my sister wants to talk to you at all. I don’t…I don’t think she likes you very much.” “Oh.” Chrysalis said simply. “I know.” “She’s got this stupid thing about magic and I hope we can still be friends but-” Luna stopped. “Wait…you know?” “She wasn’t exactly being subtle back in the theater.” Chrysalis chuckled. “But…you’re being so nice to her!” Luna said. “If you knew she was being rude to you on purpose, why would you be nice to her?” “Why shouldn’t I be?” Chrysalis said. “Because she hates you!” Luna said incredulously. “Don’t you care that she hates you?” “Not especially.” Chrysalis shrugged. “Nothing as silly as hatred should get in the way of a potential friendship.” “Are…are you for real?” Luna said incredulously. “Every bit of me, love.” Chrysalis said with a wink. “Have you seen a colt named Shining Armor around? He promised me a margarita refill about half an hour ago.” “Last I saw that traitor, he was heading out to the back yard.” Luna said. “You're not...interested in him, are you?” “He has a certain colt next door charm to him, I’ll say that much.” Chrysalis chuckled. “Why, is he with you?” “No but I think you may have some competition.” Luna said, nodding over to the corner where Cadence stood chatting to some friends. “Cadence?” Chrysalis said. “Really?" "It certainly seemed that way earlier." Luna said "So Shining Armor is the latest love of her life, is he?” Chrysalis said. "Interesting." “What do you mean latest?” Luna said. “Cadence falls in love like a drunk fratboy falls down stairs,” Chrysalis chuckled. "She sorts every stallion she meets into two categories; future husbands and future husbands for somepony else. There is no middle ground for her." "You're joking." “She once proposed marriage to her sixth grade coltfriend...after dating him for three weeks,” Chrysalis said.“She’s a very sweet girl but she comes on a tad…strong for most ponies.” “Well fortunately for her, that particular brand of romantic enthusiasm seems to bounce right off of Shining Armor’s thick skull, so she might actually have a shot with him.” Luna said. “You’re not going to try and get in the way of that, are you?" “Get in the way of what , exactly?” Chrysalis laughed. “I don’t know; I just don’t want two of my friends fighting over a third.” Luna said. “I know that sounds selfish of me but-” “Friends?” Chrysalis echoed, looking at Luna with a strange expression on her face. “Well, yeah.” Luna shrugged. “I know we just met but I think you’re about the only person in this town I can talk magic with. I’m not being presumptuous, am I?” “No not at all!” Chrysalis said, reddening around her ears. “It’s just that I…never mind. I’ll stay away from Shining Armor as a favor for a…friend.” “Thanks a lot.” Luna said. “Can I get you a refill?” “Oh no that’s fine.” Chrysalis said. “I’ll go get one myself. Your sister makes excellent margaritas.” “Just be sure she doesn’t poison it.” Luna chuckled, watching Chrysalis disappear into the crowd. She turned around to run straight into Shining Armor carrying a pair of pink frothy drinks on a tray. “Speak of the devil,” Luna muttered. “You’re getting popular with the ladies, aren’t you?” “Huh?” Shining Armor said. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Of course you don’t.” Luna sighed. “Cadence is looking for you by the way.” “Why would she be looking for…oh crap! I was supposed to get her a drink like twenty minutes ago!” Shining Armor groaned, passing Luna one of the margaritas. “Here, take this to Cadence; this is the special drink she wanted! I need to get the backyard crowd some more nachos!” “Hang on!” Luna called after him as he retreated into the kitchen. “Take it to her yourself!” “Hey is that for me?” A drunken mare giggled, stumbling up to Luna. “Is your name Cadence?” Luna asked. “No it’s…it’s…” The mare trailed off vacantly. “No, it’s definitely not Cadence.” “Then it’s not for you.” Luna said simply. “Boo.” The mare said glumly, slinking away. “Don’t ‘boo’ me you freeloading booze sponge.” Luna muttered under her breath. Luna made her way through the living room, scanning the crowd until she spied a familiar pink pegasus pouting out the back window and muttering something to herself. “Delivery.” Luna said, sliding next to Cadence and passing the drink along the windowsill. “Huh?” Cadence snapped out of her trance as the cup bumped against her shoulder. “Oh...thank you Luna. I thought Shining Armor was going to get that for me." "He got sidetracked by a nacho emergency." Luna said. "He said that this was the special drink you requested." "Thanks." Cadence said, sipping the drink glumly and staring back out the window. “Enjoying the view?” Luna asked as she followed Cadence’s line of sight to Shining Armor arriving in the backyard with a keg of beer balanced on his back. “It’s not as nice as I hoped it would be.” Cadence sighed as Shining Armor was quickly swarmed by a crowd of fillies. “Jealous?” Luna said. “Wh-what?!” Cadence spluttered. “No, of course not! Wh-why would I be jealous that Shining Armor seems to be talking to every filly at the party except me?! I'm happy that he's meeting so many new f-friends; why would I be jealous?!" “Wow; remind me never to play poker with you.” Luna said. “You can’t bluff your way out of a wet paper bag.” “Am I that obvious?” Cadence sighed. “To about everyone but him.” Luna said. “I’m sorry.” Cadence sighed. “It’s really none of my business but…I mean he’s barely said two words to me all night. I thought he was interested in me too when he invited me to the party but-” “Look, Shining Armor is a fantastic guy. He’s brave and loyal and if I hadn’t seen him in diapers I would probably have a crush on him too.” Luna said. “But he’s an idiot; he really is. He’s thicker than a brick wall when it comes to romance. If you want anything to happen with him, you’re going to need to spell it out for him.” “You mean just tell him that I’m interested in him?” Cadence asked, frowning as though Luna had spoken some bizarre foreign language. “Why not?” Luna said “Where’s the romance in that?” Cadence huffed. “What am I supposed to tell our kids when they ask how mommy and daddy got together?” “Okay why don’t you get a date with the guy before you start thinking about any hypothetical love babies you may have?” Luna said.“I’m no expert on romance-believe me, I’m not-but I think you may be making this a bigger deal than it needs to be.” “I can’t help it; I’m a romantic!” Cadence groaned, tugging at her mane. “I spend so much time setting up perfect dates and perfect weddings and perfect honeymoons for other people...so is it wrong that I want the same when it comes to my own love life?” “Well, no, but you’re not seriously going to wait on Shining Armor to live up to his namesake and sweep you off your hooves, are you?” Luna said. “Well…it would be nice but¬-” “But it’s never going to happen.” Luna said. “He is literally the only pony in town that’s oblivious to your interest and if you want him at all you’re going to need to get him yourself. Romance may have to take a backseat in this case.” “If you say so.” Cadence sighed. “Have a drink.” Luna said, nudging the margarita over to Cadence. “Shining Armor said he got it just for you. Take a moment and then go talk to him like every other filly in the room is doing. Just let things work out naturally and don’t get hung up on romance right now.” “Thanks Luna.” Cadence said, taking a long sip of her drink. “I...I think you’re right.” “I usually am.” Luna said. “I have to remain positive!” Cadence said, eyes glinting in determination. “I’m…I’m going to go talk to Shining Armor right now! W-wish me luck!” “Godspeed you adorable little love freak.” Luna chuckled, shaking her head as Cadence fluttered out the window and into the deepening night. Now that the sun was down, Luna felt herself perk up as she usually did at night. The pulsing club music had steadily drifted towards a mellower soundtrack and Luna found herself enjoying the party for the first time. A breeze wafted in from the window and Luna decided to head out back and see how the party was going out back. Luna stepped through the back door, breathing in the cool night air as she admired her sister’s handiwork. Strings of blinking electric lights hung from the porch railing and drooped over the small bushes and trees that surrounded the back lawn. Dozens of ponies milled about, talking, laughing and flitting through the night sky. Shining Armor was surrounded by a small crowd of fillies but Cadence was nowhere to be seen. Luna was about to go look for her when she bumped into Sombra, stalking the garden with a dark scowl on his face. “Enjoying the party?” Luna said, sliding up next to Sombra. “Hm?” Sombra asked. “Oh, yeah, fantastic party. Top notch shindig you got going on here.” “Is everything alright?” Luna asked as Sombra picked up a tiki torch and swung it around like a sword. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine!” Sombra said, dropping the torch and weighing a large flower pot in one hoof. “Just great. Quick question; you wouldn’t happen to have a big rock or baseball bat or sack full of doorknobs lying around, would you?” “I’m afraid to ask what you need them for.” Luna said. “No big deal, I just need a large blunt object to beat Shining Armor with until his head resembles applesauce.” Sombra said, picking up a propane tank from under the barbecue. “This’ll work.” “Wait!” Luna cried, grabbing Sombra’s shoulder. “What’s going on?!” “Oh nothing.” Sombra said, swinging the propane experimentally a few times. “It’s just that he led my sister on and then made a show of hitting on every mare in the building! Now if you’ll excuse me-” “Hold on!” Luna said. “Shining Armor hasn’t hit on anypony since he arrived here!” “Then why is every other mare in the building under the impression that he likes them?!” Sombra huffed. “Why did he invite Cadence himself and then proceed to ignore her for most of the night?!” “Because he’s romantically oblivious!” Luna said. “Because he can’t tell the difference between romantic interest and general friendliness!” “Oh come on; nopony is that dense.” Sombra said. “Wow, do you work out or something?” Luna turned around to see a blonde unicorn rubbing Shining Armor’s shoulders. “No more than any other guard.” Shining Armor shrugged. “Are you looking for an exercise routine? Because you should definitely meet with a trained fitness consultant first. Torn muscles are no joke, my friend.” “You were saying?” Luna said. “Look, Sombra, I know you’re worried about your sister but I’m sure she can handle herself just fine. Let’s go find her and get her another margarita.” “Wait, what do you mean another margarita?” Sombra said quickly. “Cadence hasn’t been drinking tonight, has she?!” “I brought her a margarita just now but-” “Oh no no no no no no no!” Sombra moaned. “This is bad…this is very bad! Cadence isn’t supposed to drink alcohol!” “She’s of age, Sombra!” Luna said, rolling her eyes. “You can’t police her drinking habits like she’s a child!” “You don’t understand!” Sombra said, frantically scanning the crowd for his sister. “When Cadence drinks she gets really, really-” “Heyyyy….heyyyyy you!” Luna and Sombra whipped around to see Cadence stumble up to Shining Armor with a bleary looking glare creasing her features. “Oh no,” Sombra moaned. “It’s happening.” “I gotta….I gotta bone to pick with you.” Cadence slurred, poking Shining Armor in the chest. “Do you mind?! We’re kind of in the middle of something here!” the blonde unicorn sniffed. “Shhhhhhhh!” Cadence said, blocking the other mare’s face with one hoof. “I’ll be with you in a second, you hussy unicorn…you hussycorn.” “Hussycorn?!” the other mare shrieked. “Cadence, are you okay?” Shining Armor asked. “You look a little sick there.” “Never…never mind that right now!” Cadence said, rounding on Shining Armor. “I…I gotta bone to pick with you too Mr. Inviter von Ignores-His-Guests. What…what kind of guy invites a girl to a party and then totally blows her off?! Some…some knight in shining armor you turned out to be!” “We have to do something!” Luna hissed. “You have to stop her!” “There’s no stopping this,” Sombra said fearfully. “You can’t stop Hurricane Cadence once she’s started drinking.” “What is wrong with you?!” Luna hissed. “She’s half your size; go hold her back!” “I think it’s time for you to leave, sweetie.” The unicorn said, grabbing Cadence by her collar and roughly shoving her backwards. “Don’t…don’t touch me please.” Cadence said blearily. “I don’t…I don’t like it when people touch me without my permission.” “Well I don’t like it when bimbos in bad sweaters interrupt me when I’m trying to score!” The unicorn said, shoving Cadence again. “I’m not going to say this again.” Cadence said, shaking her head dizzily. “Stop…stop shoving me around.” “Or what?” The other mare laughed, shoving Cadence again. “What are you going to-” Luna wasn’t one hundred percent sure what happened next. One second Cadence was getting shoved around by the white unicorn and the next, the other mare was out cold and stuffed in a trashcan about twenty feet away. It all happened so fast and when it was over, Cadence was standing in the middle of a shocked crowd, stretching her wings and dusting her sweater off. “Oh my gods,” Luna said breathlessly. “What just happened?!” “Cadence happened.” Sombra said, shivering slightly. “Cadence happened.” “I told her,” Cadence slurred triumphantly. “IIIIIIIIIIIIIII told her not to do the thing...and she went ahead and did it anyway! Wellllllllll guess what? You mess with the horns…and you get the bull!” Cadence smiled as she teetered sideways and collapsed unconscious against Shining Armor’s side. “That’s our cue!” Sombra said, running to his sister’s side. “Cadence?!” Luna said, gently shaking Cadence’s shoulders. “Cadence, are you okay?!” “Mmmmmm…no mommy, I don’t want to go to school today.” Cadence mumbled sleepily, snuggling into Shining Armor's shirt. “Is she going to be alright?” Shining Armor said, gently hoisting Cadence on to his back."What happened to her?" “Like you don’t know you cheap Casanova.” Sombra spat, bumping into Shining Armor and sliding Cadence off his back and on to his. “Do…do I know you?” Shining Armor said, looking at Sombra in confusion. “This is all your fault!” Sombra said. “If you hadn’t screwed up her drink order, none of this would have happened!” “…no, seriously, do I know you?” Shining Armor said, blinking owlishly. “Forget it!” Sombra said. “You’ve done enough for one night!” “What did I do?” Shining Armor cried. “Oh don’t act dumb with me!” Sombra shot back as Luna gently took Cadence from his shoulders and laid her on a lawn chair. “I’m not acting!” Shining Armor said. “I really have no idea what’s going on!” “Just leave my sister alone you creep!” Sombra growled as a small crowd gathered around them. “It’s bad enough that you got her hopes up for nothing but hitting on other mares in front of her is just sick!” “What are you talking about?!” Shining Armor groaned. “Luna, will you please tell me who this guy is and why he's yelling at me?” “Yes, Luna, please explain to your phenomenally stupid friend why I’m going to smack him cross eyed if he comes near my sister again.” Sombra snarled. “FIGHT!” Somepony from the crowd cried. “Whoa whoa whoa!” Luna said, stepping between the warring stallions. “Nopony is fighting anypony!” “BOOO!” Someone from the crowd yelled. “SAY BOO ONE MORE TIME!” Luna snapped, eyes glowing white with magic. “BOO ME ONE MORE TIME AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS!" The crowd fell silent as Luna took a deep calming breath. “Thank you. Now then, let’s all just have another margarita-” “Mmm…margarita.” Cadence mumbled in her sleep. “-except Cadence and get back to the party!” Luna finished. “I’ll be right back.” Luna dashed back inside, weaving her way through the crowd and into the kitchen where her sister was fiddling with the margarita machine. “Celestia!” Luna said. “I need a little help out here!” “Not now Luna; I’m doing science.” Celestia said, stuffing a whole cantaloupe into the top of the machine. “Cadence is drunk, I think Sombra is going to fight Shining Armor and the guests are going to kill us unless they get more drinks fast!” Luna said breathlessly. “I need you to rein these crazy ponies in before they kill each other!” “Alright, alright, give me a second.” Celestia sighed, smacking the machine as it ground to a halt with a high pitched whine. “I figured something like this would happen eventually.” “Do all your parties end this way?” Luna said. “Usually.” Celestia said as the margarita machine began to gurgle disconcertingly. “Otherwise they just fizzle out and die once the liquor dries up.” "What are you doing to that thing?" Luna asked as Celestia continued to pack the top of the machine. "Doing an experiment." Celestia said, smacking the whining machine with her hoof. "The box claimed you could fit a whole melon in the fruit blender but I'm not so-" The margarita machine shuddered, spluttered and with a great flatulent thrrp erupted in a geyser of partially processed cantaloupe that shot straight up in the air, hung for a horrible moment and then came splattering down on Luna drenching her from horn to hooves. Luna just stood there, quaking in impotent fury as she discovered that there is literally nothing you can say or do when drenched in cantaloupe chunks except stand there in stunned silence. “Towel?” Celestia said, sheepishly offering Luna a towel as a glob of cantaloupe mush dropped from the ceiling and splattered on her head. Two hours later, Luna had perched herself on the roof outside her bedroom window, trying in vain to enjoy the flowery book of poetry she found in the bookshelf in Princess Twilight’s room. By the time she had scrubbed the worst of the margarita mix out of her coat and changed into something decidedly less fruity she had all but disappeared from the party, slipping into her room and disappearing out the window where no one would think to look for her. “There you are.” No one except for her sister of course. Luna looked up from her book as Celestia climbed out the window, balancing a pair of drinks on her wings. “Good book?” Celestia asked. “Meh.” Luna shrugged, setting the book aside. “Poetry isn't really my thing but that's all that Princess Twilight seems to have.” “Who knew our princess was such a romantic,” Celestia chuckled. “Listen...sorry about the margarita fiasco.” “That’s alright,” Luna said. “The party was getting a little nutty for my tastes anyway. Is your machine alright?" “It’s making weird noises and spitting up cantaloupe seeds,” Celestia sighed. “And it hasn’t made a decent margarita in nearly half an hour.” “That explains why so many people are leaving.” Luna said as another crowd of ponies trickled out the front door and out the front gate. “Good riddance,” Celestia said. “I’m almost glad the machine broke if it gets rid of all the bums who are just here for the drinks.” “Do you think you can get your money back?” Luna asked. “I think it’s safe to say we voided the warranty when we stuffed it with cantaloupe," Celestia said."Not one of my brighter ideas.” “Shame; I was starting to get used to the idea of having frosty drinks whenever I wanted,” Luna said. “Maybe we should get another.” “Oh, I plan on it,” Celestia said. “Once you know the joy of having a margarita machine, there’s no going back to the hollow shell of life without it.” They shared a laugh and lapsed into an easy silence as they watched their remaining guests enjoy themselves in the garden below “Sorry you got stood up.” Celestia said after a moment. “Come again?” Luna asked. “Tirek promised he’d show up, didn’t he?” Celestia said. “It’s almost midnight and there’s still no sign of him.” “Yeah…I guess he’s not coming.” Luna said. “You sound disappointed.” Celestia said. “Would it be weird if I said that I was?” Luna said. “Only a little.” Celestia chuckled. “I don’t know…I guess a small part of me wanted to be right for once,” Luna sighed. “Does that make me a freak?” “No, it makes you normal.” Celestia said, taking a sip of her drink. “Vindication is a perfectly natural thing to yearn for.” “I guess.” Luna said. “That said, I’m very happy you were wrong this time,” Celestia said. “Given the alternative, I think you are too.” “You know something?” Luna said, smiling down at the partygoers below. “I really am.” “Yeah?” Celestia said. “I think Princess Twilight was right; I think this vacation may be just what I needed.” Luna said. “Of course it is.” Celestia said, sitting down next to Luna, clinking their glasses together. “I think this summer is going to be one of the best we’ve ever had.” “Crummy delivery job notwithstanding.” Luna chuckled. “Hey, don’t knock the delivery job.” Celestia said, nudging her sister. “In two deliveries you already made a new friend and picked yourself up something tall dark and handsome.” “Shut up!” Luna laughed, shoving her sister off the roof. “I’m your sister; I’m never going to shut up.” Celestia said, flapping casually in the air. “It is my birthright to mercilessly torment and tease you every day until the day you die. You think you would have figured that out by now.” “I guess I’m not as bright as people keep telling me that I am.” Luna chuckled. “Fillies and Gentlecolts!” The music suddenly cut out as a tinny voice came from the radio downstairs. “It’s almost midnight and almost time for the Fillydelphia Millennial Gala Fireworks Spectacular! Please turn off all lights as the birthplace of St. Trixie puts on the greatest fireworks show in the world!” “Almost midnight.” Celestia said, checking her watch. “You want to head down before the fireworks start?” “Why?” Luna said. “We’ve got the best seats in the house!” “Best seats on the house.” Celestia said, landing beside Luna. “I like the way you think sis.” The lights in the city below went out as a great cheer erupted from the crowds below. “The greatest fireworks show in Equestria will begin in ten…nine…eight…seven…six…five…four…three…two…o-” BOOM! An earth shattering explosion thundered somewhere in the distance, knocking Luna off her hooves and nearly off the roof. Before she could react, a column of dark green fire erupted to the east in the direction of Canterlot. It spiraled higher and higher in the air, shining down on the partygoers below with an eerie emerald light. The green flame coalesced into a hideous parody of the sun. Thunderclouds rolled in from all directions, blotting out the moon and stars and providing a background for the hellish green sun. The sun twisted and reshaped itself into a hideous demon face blazing in the night. Sunken eyes sneered dispassionately at the ponies beneath it. Long wicked horns jutted up from the apparition's skeletal head, burning twin holes in the clouds that sizzled and cracked with wicked electricity. “Weep, and rejoice my people.” The apparition thundered. “Your rightful king has returned to liberate you from the false goddesses that have raised themselves above you and return the world to its natural order.” “Your princesses have fallen. Your city is ashes beneath my hooves. Your armies are naught but ants before the legions that rise behind me. To all so called Equestrians today, I offer you a simple ultimatum.” “Kneel...or be knelt." The phantom green face exploded in a shower of flaming streamers the streaked to the ground below. There was a moment of deafening silence as all of Fillydelphia stared in slack jawed horror at the sky. And then the screaming started. “WHOOO HOOOO!” “AWESOME!” “THIS IS THE BEST FIREWORKS SHOW EVER!” “Please tell me those were fireworks.” Celestia said, swallowing painfully as the crowd below obliviously applauded their own destruction. “Please tell me that was just a really big, really scary part of the fireworks show.” “Those weren’t fireworks.” Luna said. She didn’t exactly know what had just happened, but she knew one thing beyond any shadow of a doubt. Tirek had returned. > The Riddle of Flame > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Riddle of Flame “-proceed to their designated rally points and await further instructions. We repeat; the capitol city is under attack by forces unknown. By order of the City Watch, all civilians outside Canterlot are instructed to remain as far away from the city as possible. Civilians inside the city walls should follow the instructions of the city watch, remain off the streets and indoors, only escaping if it is safe to do so. All Royal Guards and City Watch officers are to proceed to their designated rally points and await further instructions. We repeat-” By the time Luna and Celestia had climbed down from the roof, the cheering had stopped and the party had sobered up almost instantly. The thumping party music fell silent as the radio broadcast repeated a canned emergency message to an audience frozen in rapt terror. “By order of the City Watch, all civilians outside Canterlot are instructed to remain as far away from the city as possible. Civilians inside the city walls should remain in hiding and escape only if it is safe to do so. All Royal Guards and City Watch officers are to-” The radio cut to static and a wave of hushed panic rippled through the crowd gathered around the radio. “Boy, they really go all out for their anniversary celebrations in Canterlot, don’t they?” Celestia said, loudly and with forced nonchalance. “Hey, who wants to play Go Home and Hug Your Loved Ones Without Causing a Panic? Because that’s a fun game, let me tell you! C'mon, let's go! Party's over!” With Luna’s help, Celestia gently started herding the fearful partygoers towards the front door. Panicking inside an enclosed space would spell disaster for everypony in the house and the quicker everypony got back to their own homes, the safer everypony would be. “Luna!” Luna turned to see Chrysalis, Sombra and a disoriented Cadence fighting their way through the crowd to where Luna stood. “Oooh…not so loud,” Cadence moaned, rubbing her temples with her hooves. “What’s going on?” “We’re not sure, but we think that the world is coming to an end,” Sombra said as Celestia bolted the door shut and closed the shades. “You think?” Cadence said. “We’re getting a second opinion,” Sombra said, turning to Luna. “There’s something you’re not telling us, isn’t there?” “What are you talking about?” Luna said evasively. “What makes you think I know any more than you do?" “We know, Luna,” Sombra said. “Chrysalis told us about you and Princess Twilight.” “You told them?!” Luna said, rounding on Chrysalis. “Sorry, love, but given the circumstances I thought it was appropriate,” Chrysalis said. “I thought if anypony would know what’s going on, it would be you.” “Wait…I’m a little lost here,” Cadence said blearily. “What’s this about Luna and Princess Twilight?” “Apparently Luna is Princess Twilight’s personal protégée,” Sombra said. “And it just so happens that Princess Twilight sent her to Fillydelphia with a military escort on the same day Canterlot got attacked by giant flaming heads. Quite a coincidence, wouldn’t you agree?” “Is that true, Luna?” Cadence asked. “It’s a bit more complicated than that but…yes, that’s basically true,” Luna admitted. “I had a feeling something like this might happen but-” “Wait, you knew Canterlot was going to be attacked?!” Sombra spluttered. “Why didn’t you tell anypony?!” “I did; believe me, I tried!” Luna groaned. “I had a theory that Tirek was going to make a comeback today but nopony believed me! Princess Twilight even went as far as to banish me from the city because she thought I was losing my mind!” “S-so what happens now?” Cadence said. “You must have some kind of...plan or something if you knew this was going to happen!” Chrysalis said. “My plan was to tell Princes Twilight so that she could come up with a better plan!” Luna said. “I’m not exactly a military genius here and I never expected to have to deal with this problem myself!” “Are you sure Princess Twilight didn’t say anything to you?” Sombra asked. “Did she send you with a list or set of instructions in case, oh I don’t know, monsters started crawling out of the ground and attacking the capital city?!” “Just a letter,” Luna said, levitating her saddlebag from the table and fishing the crumpled letter from Princess Twilight out of the bag. “Read it if you want but it’s pretty much just Princess Twilight going on about what a gigantic embarrassment I am and how she doesn’t want to teach me anymore.” “Oh, I don’t think it’s that ba-oh...” Chrysalis trailed off as she read the note over Sombra's shoulder. “Oh honey, I’m sorry.” “Yeah, I’m not exactly the teacher’s pet at the moment,” Luna groaned, flopping into a kitchen chair and burying her face in her hooves. “I honestly expected better out of one of our leaders,” Sombra clucked disapprovingly as he read the letter. “She didn’t even have the courtesy to spell check your banishment notice!” “She doesn’t have to spell check it; perfect Princess Twilight doesn’t make mistakes!” Luna huffed, feeling her frustration at her former mentor grow. “Oh then I suppose she wanted you to take this letter to heat?” Sombra laughed. "Yeah, just light the letter on fire why don't-hey!" Luna snatched the letter away from Sombra and scanned it frantically. She ran her hooves over the page, holding the letter up to the light and sniffing it intently. Then, with a flash of inspiration in her eye, she dashed over to the stove, kicked on the burners and tossed the letter into the flames. “What are you doing?!” Sombra cried. “Princess Twilight doesn’t make typos!” Luna said, watching the flames slowly devour the letter. “Do you know what this means?” “We have to destroy the evidence so that the world will never know that Princess Twilight is secretly a terrible speller?!” Celestia said. “If she told me to take this letter to heat then that’s exactly what she meant!” Luna said, watching the paper shrivel up into ash. “I don’t think "take it to heat" means throw it into an open flame!” Chrysalis said. “Luna, what on earth is-” Suddenly, the propane flame on the stove went from light blue to dark green as the last of the letter went up in smoke. The flames grew higher, leaping off the stove in a jet of emerald light that shimmered and shifted, throwing strange shadows on the wall as it moved. “What the hell is that?” Celestia said. “Dragonink,” Luna said, watching the emerald flames flicker and dance in the kitchen air. “Made out of the enchanted blood of dragons. Rare stuff…unless you happen to have a live dragon you can borrow some from.” “Y-you mean the Duke of Canterlot?” Cadence asked. "What could be important enough that Princess Twilight spill her friend's blood?" “Dragonink is perfect for sending hiddenmessages,” Luna said. “Completely undetectable by almost all mundane and magical means but when the ink is exposed to an open source of fire and the parchment it’s written on is destroyed-” The green flame suddenly surged across the kitchen towards a blank wall opposite the stove, smashing into the wall in a wave of emerald heat. “Quick, get a fire extinguisher!” Chrysalis said as the flames licked at the fresh coat of purple paint. “NO!” Luna cried. “It’s not going to burn anything! It’s going to-” The flames coalesced at a single point on the wall, a glowing green pinprick that seared into the paint. Then, as if guided by a phantom hand, the flames began furiously scribbling glowing green words into the wall. “Pen! Paper!” Luna cried, grabbing a pen from her saddlebag and ripping a sheet of paper towels off of the roll on the counter. “Luna, what does this-” “Shh!” Luna hissed as she frantically copied the glowing text on the wall. “I need to get this down! Once dragonink delivers its message it-” The green fire trailed off at the end of a long line. As soon as it finished writing, the letters on the wall all flashed green for a brief moment and then disappeared, leaving no trace of their existence on the eerily cool wall. “-disappears,” Luna finished, shaking out the paper towel that now contained the only copy of Princess Twilight’s message. “Did you get it all?” Sombra asked. “Please,” Luna laughed. “You don’t study under Princess Twilight for fifteen years and not learn how take notes quickly. Her Highness will talk a mile a minute if you let her and she doesn’t like to explain herself twice.” “So what did she say?” Sombra asked. “What was so important that it warranted all this cloak and dagger?” “I guess we’ll find out,” Luna said, clearing her throat as she began to read the dragonink message. When Autumn leaves fell astray And Apple’s Orchards barren lay And gusts and gales chill’d the air Then Trixie battled with the Bear. One blust’ry day in early fall St. Trixie heeded the twilight’s call And rode for nights to travel where The townsfolk battled with the Bear Nine hundred hands the Bear stood high Its claws and fangs did rend the sky And shake the stars and moonbeams down To crash and shatter upon the town. Came Trixie then with eyes aflame With mighty skill and deadly aim She charged the beast and loosed a flare To devastate the awful Bear. The rocket flew as fast as fate It spiraled forward, true and straight With a booming, bursting battle cry It cast the beast into the sky. The thief of stars howled in rage As the sky above became a cage To bind it fast and hold it there To save the world from the Bear. Then as quickly as she came St. Trixie turned and did proclaim “Mine foe is truly dead and gone.” And rode away before the dawn. When Autumn leaves fell astray And Apple’s Orchards barren lay And gusts and gales chill’d the air Then Trixie battled with the Bear. “Th-that’s it?!” Luna squawked as she finished reading the message. “What the hell is this supposed to be?!” “Well, I’m no expert dear,” Chrysalis said, squinting at the paper. “But I think that’s supposed to be a poem.” “I know it’s supposed to be a poem!” Luna snapped. “What is it doing scribbled in dragonink on Princess Twilight’s letter to me?!” “Maybe she thought you needed more culture in your life?” Cadence suggested. “I can’t believe this,” Luna groaned. “Is this some kind of joke?! She spilled dragon blood and spent days distilling dragonink out of it just to send me a crummy little poem?!” “Well that’s not very nice,” Cadence said. “It’s not the best poem I’ve ever heard but I think it has some very nice imagery...” “I don’t care if it’s the best poem in the world!” Luna screeched. “Why did Princess Twilight waste all that time writing it?! Why did she go through the trouble of hiding it in magical ink?! And most importantly, what good is it supposed to do me now that I'm exiled to a crummy little town in East Trixie Nowhere?!” “Okay, now you’re just being rude,” Chrysalis huffed. “This is so stupid!” Luna huffed. “She could have just written out what she wanted me to do but nooooo; someone was feeling obtuse! I’m not even a poetry fan so even if this was supposed to reference something, I have no idea what it means! I would have to spend all day in the library, poring over stacks of poetry texts just to…the library!” “The library?” Sombra asked. “In the letter!” Luna said. “Princess Twilight mentioned the Fillydelphia Public Library, right?” “Well, yes but-” Sombra said. “So she must want me to go look for something in the library!” Luna said. “Luna there isn’t-” Cadence said, trying to get a word in edgewise as Luna quickly began gathering her things in a saddlebag. “All I have to do is go rooting through the poetry section!” Luna said. “I’m sure, Princess Twilight left me some more information in a secret location at the Fillydelphia Public Library, right?!” “Luna…there is no Fillydelphia Public Library!” Chrysalis said. “What are you talking about?” Luna said, stopping on her way out of the kitchen. “What kind of town doesn’t have a public library?” “The kind that hires a fourth rate contractor to build a library on a riverbank,” Sombra said. “It was a very pretty building,” Cadence said. “It had a lovely balcony overlooking the river where students used to…er…pretend to study." "But the foundation turned out to be less than steady," Sombra added. "One bad rainstorm and the whole thing fell into the river. Waterlogged pages are still being found downstream.” “Everything went digital after that and what few books they could save were sent to other libraries or sold off,” Chrysalis said. “I’m surprised Princess Twilight didn’t know that.” “She had to have known!” Luna said, pacing the kitchen anxiously. “She comes here every year and I think she would have noticed if an entire library went missing!” “Then why did she tell you to go poking around in a library that doesn’t exist anymore?” Celestia asked. “I don’t know!” Luna cried. “It doesn’t make any sense! If she wanted me to do something, she should have just told me instead of being so needlessly opaque! How am I supposed to find what she’s looking for if I can’t find the books that…she…wanted me to…?” Luna trailed off, glancing around the kitchen distractedly. Her eyes roamed over countertops and under tables, she got up and flung a few cabinets open, she stuck her head in the living room and returned with a glint of realization in her eyes. “Where are the books?” Luna asked. “What books?” Celestia asked as her sister scrambled out of the kitchen and into the living room. Celestia shared a worried look with the others as they followed Luna into the living room to find her upending sofas and rummaging through cabinets. “The books!” Luna said, levitating the coffee table and checking behind the sofa. “Any book! I haven’t seen a single book in this house since I got here! Not a coffee table book, not a dictionary, not a questionably virtuous gentlemare’s magazine; nothing!” “So?” Chrysalis said. “Lots of houses don’t have that many books.” “Lots of houses don’t belong to Princess Twilight!” Luna said. “Princess Twilight decorates every inch of her palace in books. She builds bookshelves out of books. She carries a book with her in her saddlebag at all times! She built a small library in her bathroom for crying out loud and yet somehow, in the house she vacations at every year, there isn’t a single book in sight except for the-” A flash of realization flickered across Luna’s face and she was up the stairs before anypony could stop her. “Does she ever finish her thoughts?” Sombra asked. “Or is she just going to keep running off mid sentence?” Celestia led the four of them up the stairs and down the hall towards Luna’s room where frantic rustling and labored gasps could be heard coming out of her door. “Luna, what’s going-eep!” Cadence cried, ducking suddenly as a book sailed past her, narrowly missing the side of her head. They cautiously stuck their heads in the room to see Luna dismantling the bookshelf that rested against the back wall of her bedroom, yanking whole stacks of books out with single-minded determination. “Luna, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Celestia asked. “Books!” Luna cried, tossing a copy of The Canterlot Tales to Celestia. “The only books in this house are books of poetry! And that’s not all!” Luna cracked open a book of limericks to see Property of the Fillydelphia Public Library stamped on the inside jacket. “They’re all from the Fillydelphia Public Library!” Luna said, pulling another shelf of books down. “Princess Twilight must’ve rescued them before the library sank! And they’re all in this one spot which means…ah-ha! Look!” Celestia stooped down to examine the bookcase as her sister illuminated the space behind it with light from her horn. At first, she couldn’t see anything remarkable but a closer look revealed something etched into the wood paneling behind the bookshelf. “What is it?” Cadence said. “What do you see?” “It’s…a moon?” Celestia said, peering closely at the crescent moon carved into the wood with a star tipped wand running through it. “Wait, is that-” “The Mark of St. Trixie!” Luna exclaimed. “Cutie marks actually had some cultural significance back then and a mare like St. Trixie would have pressed her mark into everything she owned! It was like a signature or sign that she was here!” “This house isn’t that old though,” Sombra said. “Are you saying St. Trixie was here?” “Not St. Trixie,” Luna said, lowering her horn to touch the mark on the wall. A soft, silvery glow of magic trickled out of Luna’s horn and flowed through the etching like water filling a bowl. The mark glowed blue for a moment and then a tiny door opened around it, revealing a hidden compartment behind the bookcase. “But somepony who knew her built this place.” “There wouldn’t happen to be a tyrant slaying super sword in there, would there?” Celestia said as Luna dug her hoof in to alcove in the wall. “Better!” Luna said, retrieving a thick, leatherbound book bulging with fragile, yellowing parchment. "It's a book!" “I think I’d rather have the sword,” Sombra said. "Unless that book is heavy enough to bludgeon Tirek to death with." Luna blew the thick layer of dust of the cover of the book to reveal the same crescent and wand markings. Gingerly, she cracked open the cover and a sheaf of paper slipped out of the pages and on to the floor. “What is it?” Celestia asked as Luna carefully opened the paper. “What did you find?” “Letters,” Luna replied, scanning the text with widening eyes. “I think...I think these were written to Princess Twilight!” “These aren't recent correspondence, I take it,” Chrysalis said, gingerly poking the fraying yellow paper with her hoof. “Who knows how long these letters have been here?” “What do they say?” Celestia asked. “Are they some kind of super spell or fireworks recipie that will help us defeat Tirek?” “Doubtful, but there’s only one way to find out for sure,” Luna said, clearing her throat as she began to read. “To my dearest friend and mentor, Her Royal Highness Princess Twilight Sparkle…” I thank you for the extra security you sent along with the artifact but I hardly think that they’ll do much to protect it or me if I am unsuccessful. I doubt that I myself am up to the task you put before me and I don’t think that the handful of court mages you sent me will be able to accomplish anything should I fail. I am flattered that you thought of me but I question how much help I can be in this situation. If you yourself were incapable of purifying the Rainbow of Darkness I hardly think that I will be more successful. True, your study of warding and countermagic is beginning to slip a little but the fact remains that my skills with magic are far behind Never mind. I have never shirked away from a challenge before and I am not about to start now. I shall, as you request, attempt to heal the artifact so that it may one day be used for the benefit of Equestria. I shall have to be careful for now my laboratory is surrounded by settlers and farmers looking to capitalize on the fertile riverland. This budding township makes experimenting with greater powers a far more difficult proposition as now, I find myself responsible for the lives of those around me. I will begin at once and shall keep you posted as I progress. If I should succeed, I will be in Canterlot immediately. Should I fail, you will no doubt notice an earth shattering kaboom and will likely not hear from me again. T. “T?” Chrysalis asked. “St. Trixie!” Luna cried, spying the same moon and wand seal at the bottom of the page. “It has to be! Sh-she must’ve written these letters to Princess Twilight before she died!” “That, or her spirit has excellent penmanship,” Sombra said dryly, earning him a scowl from Luna. “But what’s this about a “rainbow of darkness?” Celestia asked. “Rainbows are manufactured hard-light structures used to link pegasi cities to the ground. They can’t be made of darkness; that’s an oxymoron!” “Maybe it’s a metaphor?” Cadence suggested. “Maybe it was some kind of item that Tirek just named the Rainbow of Darkness?” “Maybe it was meant to be ironic?” Chrysalis suggested. "Maybe it was more of a symbol than an actual weapon?" Sombra said. “Or maybe you should let Luna read the next letter so we can learn more?” Luna said, gingerly unfolding the next fragile piece of paper. “To my Dear Princess Twilight…” I have succeeded…in a fashion. The Rainbow of Darkness has lost its malignant properties but in the process, I fear a bulk of its power has been lost. In order to prevent it from reshaping itself as an evil artifact, I was forced to break it and reform it into five inert fragments of their former power. Neither good nor evil, they rest waiting for a skillful mind to once again harness their power. I have tried (unsuccessfully) to tap into the dormant power of these Rainbow Shards (a term I use to define these broken pieces of Tirek’s power) but despite my best efforts is seems that the shards will not work for me. I cannot draw on their power at all and no matter what spell I employ, the pieces remain unresponsive. They are a kind of negative space for magic; a great zero that multiplies itself by whatever I throw at it and completely nullifies my spells. How an artifact that once enslaved our people could so suddenly become a pile of harmless rocks is beyond me but I doubt it was my work that did this. It is entirely possible that Tirek designed his Rainbow of Darkness so that it could never be broken up and used against him. If that is the case, then it would be best to keep these pieces hidden away as best as we are able in the unthinkable event that Tirek or one of his generals manages to return. I am sending the Rainbow Shards to you directly in the hopes that you might be able to coax some good out of them or at the very least, protect the Shards in case anything evil tried to use them. With any luck, their inertia is only a sign that greater powers than mine are required to use them. I eagerly await your correspondence as there is little to do in this part of Equestria besides bale hay and buck apples. T. “Wait wait wait,” Sombra said. “Is she talking about the Rainbow Shards?” “You’ve heard of them?” Celestia asked. “Every jeweler and crystalsmith has,” Sombra said. “Five gems of impossible purity said to have amazing magical powers. But they’re supposed to be a myth like El Dorado or the Sword in the Stone!” “All myths have basis in reality,” Luna said. “Yeah but I never expected to find a letter detailing their creation in a friend’s house,” Sombra said, peering into the empty alcove in the wall. “They aren’t here are they?” “I doubt Princess Twilight or St. Trixie would just stash items of great magical power in the walls of a vacation house,” Celestia said, pulling the next letter off the pile. “Maybe this next letter has some kind of clue as to where they might be?” “It’s more likely that they’re in some vault in Canterlot somewhere,” Luna said, turning her attention to the letter. “My dearest princess-” “Ooh, that’s familiar,” Cadence chimed in. “She went from “Dear Princess Twilight” in the last letter to “My Dearest Princess” in this one. I wonder what happened between them to cause such a...intimate shift in tone?" "I'm sorry, are you suggesting Princess Twilight and St. Trixie were an item?!" Luna gasped indignantly. "It makes sense if you think about it," Cadence said, eyes filling with stars. "Oh here we go," Sombra sighed "Two of the most powerful mages in Equestrian history, working late nights developing new magic spells as they grow closer together!" Cadence sighed, her mind running wild with the possibilities. "A forbidden student teacher relationship between a fiery young spellweaver and her master! Two mares spending precious time together before time inevitably rips the young sorceress from the Princess' warm embrace!" “Th-that’s ridiculous!” Luna scoffed. “Princess Twilight is the most professional mare in the entire world; she would never...fraternize with a student centuries younger than she was!” “I never said they were “fraternizing,” Cadence shrugged. “I'm just saying that they probably f-” “MY DEAREST PRINCESS!” Luna yelled, stuffing her hooves in her ears. “I AM SURPRISED TO LEARN-” I am surprised to learn that you were unable to put the Rainbow Shards to use. I half expected to learn that the other princesses would have difficulty with them (as they lack the same interest in magic that you and I possess) but I thought you, of all ponies, might have been capable of harnessing their power. It seems that their mysteries are beyond our collective magical talents. I do not know what there is to do with them at this point. I shall endeavor to keep them out of the wrong hooves as long as possible but we must entertain the possibility that the Rainbow Shards can be only used for evil purposes. To that end, I think we must work together make sure that Tirek’s followers do not come into possession of them. I have some ideas; ideas that I know you will disapprove of so I will not share them with you just yet. I will keep you updated on my progress. Otherwise things here are going well, the burgeoning township has been christened "Fillydelphia" and despite our lack of common interests, the townsfolk are an amicable sort who were easily impressed by fireworks display. I was even invited to attend some kind of rural harvest ritual called a "hoedown" later today. I confess, I have no idea what this is but if they are planning on sacrificing me to appease an old god and bolster their harvest season, I daresay our relationship will end on a sour note. T. “Wait, seriously?!” Sombra said. “The Princesses couldn’t use them either? Not even Princess Twilight? I thought she was a magical expert!” “She is!” Luna said. “There’s so greater magical genius in the world! “But St. Trixie said these might be “magical voids” or whatever, right?” Chrysalis said. "Maybe no amount of magic can affect them, no matter how powerful.” “So then what happened to the Rainbow Shards?” Sombra said. "Where did they decide to store them?" “Let’s read on,” Luna said, pulling out a fresher looking letter considerably newer than the rest. “Dearest Twilight-” “Eeep!”Luna stopped as Cadence squeaked something incoherent through her hooves. “Something you’d like to share with the class?” Luna sighed, glaring at Cadence from behind the letter. “Something about how the first two words of a letter indicates some kind of imaginary salacious relationship between Princess Twilight and St. Trixie?” “N-no, that’s fine!” Cadence said, dreamily leaning forward with her chin on her hooves. “Please…go on!” “As I was saying,” Luna said, turning back to the letter. “Dearest Twilight…” I understand your concerns for my health and while I can think of a number of entertaining ways to convince you of my vitality, I fear I must confess that the last experiment took a little more out of me than I initially expected. I fear that I do not have much time left on this earth. I cannot say how long exactly I have but I intend to make the most of the time given to me. I have some loose ends to tie up here in Fillydelphia and then I wish to speak with you regarding the Rainbow Shards and how I might help to safeguard them in the future. We shall meet again soon; I promise. I shall not leave you without a proper goodbye Love, T. "See!" Cadence crowed, triumphantly snatching the letter away from Luna "Love! I was right!" "Right, because goodness knows that there's no such thing as platonic love," Luna groused, snatching the letter back from the overexcited matchmaker. “What do you think happened to her?” Celestia asked. “It doesn’t say,” Luna replied, paging through the letters. “Everypony knows that St. Trixie died young but nobody ever knew why.” "You don't think the townsfolk actually tried to sacrifice her, do you?" Chrysalis said. "Because I really don't want to live in a town that sacrifices beautiful virgins to maintain its fertility." "If that's the case, I think you're in the clear," Celestia mumbled. “You think these Rainbow Shards had something to do with it?” Cadence asked. “Maybe,” Luna conceded. “But St. Trixie was an…eccentric mage to say the least. She was on the cutting edge of a lot of dangerous stuff. I could think of any number of spells she invented that might have contributed to an early death.” “Still, it doesn’t sound like these Rainbow Shards are exactly safe,” Sombra said. "Are you sure you should be looking for them?" “Is anything really “safe” anymore?” Luna countered, glancing out the window as frightened ponies milled nervously about in the streets. “Point taken,” Sombra replied. “Just one letter left,” Luna said, opening the parchment. “Maybe we’ll get some answers here…My dearest princess-” “Ah-ha!” “Cadence!” “Sorry…” “As I was saying,” Luna read on. “My dearest princess…” Soon, I will depart this mortal world and journey forward to learn mysteries no living mage has ever known. Do not weep for me; the life I leave is without regrets and I part with a peaceful, easy soul. I will take the Rainbow Shards with me into my tomb here in Fillydelphia to ensure that they do not fall into the wrong hooves. I have designed my grave to withstand all but the bravest, cleverest and wisest ponies and you may rest assured knowing that no thief will reach the Rainbow Shards alive. If you ever have need of them, you need only send worthy champions to brave my trials. Should they prove to be virtuous friends of Equestria, they will no doubt succeed. I know not what waits for me across the misty waters of infinity but if some small part of me survives my death, know that I will always be watching over you. Whatever paradise lies beyond life is sure to be a pale, grey wasteland compared to the time I’ve spent in your loving embrace. Yours, now and forever, Trixie. Luna folded the letter thoughtfully as a pregnant silence hung in the air. “I…I don’t believe this,” Chrysalis said. “I know…Princess Twilight and St. Trixie were lovers!” Cadence squealed gleefully. "Oh the mares at the Antiquarian Romance Society are not going to believe this!" “Not that!” Luna said, feeling heat rise unbidden to her cheeks. “The Rainbow Shards! They’re here in Fillydelphia! That’s why Princess Twilight wanted me to come here! That’s why she “banished” me! She wants me to go into St. Trixie’s Tomb and retrieve the Rainbow Shards before Tirek can get his claws on them again! If we head out now then-” “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Sombra said, holding his hooves up. “We?” “Yes we!” Luna said. “Us! The group of ponies in this room right now! How much clearer do you want me to be?! We need to go get these things before-” “Darling, you invited us here to have cookies and punch!” Chrysalis said. “We never signed on to go adventuring in haunted crypts!” “Sorry, Luna, but I’m with Chrysalis,” Sombra said. “We should have been in hiding twenty minutes ago! I can’t go traipsing around chasing wild leads when there’s a monster on the loose!” “Oh I see how it is,” Celestia snorted. “Yeah, eeeeeeverypony wants to party with the mares when the margarita machine is going but the second we ask you to do one little favor for us-” “You’re asking us to go rooting around in an old sorceress’ grave!” Sombra said. “I don’t think that counts as a little favor!” “But...I need your help!” Luna said, looking around at them helplessly. “I can’t do this on my own!” “I’m sorry, Luna, but...this just isn’t our fight,” Chrysalis said. “The hell it isn’t!” Luna cried, causing the others to flinch. "Luna!" Celestia said. "Calm down! “What do you think is going on here?" Luna said. "Do you seriously think that Tirek is going to lay waste to Canterlot and then just give up?! What makes you think you’re going to be safe if Tirek isn’t stopped? Do you think he’s just going to leave Fillydelphia alone and go back to Tartarus?” “As soon as he's done with Canterlot he is going to push south until every mare, foal, and stallion in Equestria is under his hoof again. If the Princesses can’t stop him, we’re done; all of us. Every pony from here to Trottingham will be toiling in Tirek’s labor camps for the rest of our short miserable lives.” “If we don’t so something now, we’re never going to get another chance to stop him. I don’t know if these Rainbow Shards can help us or not. But if there’s even the smallest chance that they can even the odds against Tirek then we have to make sure Princess Twilight and the others get them! It could be the edge they need to finish him off for good!” “I know you guys just met me and I know I’m asking a lot of you but I have literally nopony else to turn to besides my sister and Shining Armor. I can’t do this by myself.” “But what are we supposed to do?” Chrysalis said. “We’re not soldiers or star athletes or magical prodigies; we’re just regular ponies.” “Regular ponies?!” Luna laughed. “Chrysalis, you’re practically a shapeshifter! You managed to fool someone who has seen Princess Twilight every single day for the past ten years!” “Well…I suppose I can pull off illusion magic better than most unicorns," Chrysalis admitted. “Sombra, I watched you crush a diamond with your bare hoof today!” Luna said. “That was just an old earth pony knack,” Sombra protested. “Anyone can learn to do that; I’m just a jeweler!” “And I’m supposed to go looking for jewelry!” Luna said. “You’ve got some of the keenest eyes I’ve ever seen and you think I couldn’t use them?!” “Cadence you’re…you’re a little scary, I’ll be honest with you,” Luna said. “But you threw a mare across the lawn before I could blink!” “I did?!” Cadence squeaked, blushing furiously. “Oh no, not again!” “Look, the point is that you’re all so much more than you give yourselves credit for,” Luna said. “I’m not going to lie to you; I don’t expect that this is going to be an easy job by any stretch of the imagination. But we’re the only ones who can get it done. I don’t know if Princess Twilight is alive or dead at this point but I know that she trusted me to see this job through to the end.” “The whole world is falling apart, but we have a real chance to set things right,” Luna said. “These Rainbow Shards could be the only thing that stands between the Equestrian people and another thousand years of slavery! I wish I could do this by myself, I really do, but the truth is I need help...I need your help.” Luna trailed off as the three Fillydelphia natives shared awkward glances with one another. Somehow, Luna felt that she hadn’t given the rousing speech she thought she had. “Look, Luna, we-” Sombra stopped short as his sister gasped. "What is it, Cadence?!" “Hey…wait a second,” Cadence said, looking around suddenly. “Where’s Shining Armor?” “He’s…wait, where is he?” Luna said, turning to her sister. “The last time I saw him was at the party downstairs; I haven’t seen him at all since the fireworks show!” “You don’t think something happened to him, do you?” Cadence said “I don’t think so,” Celestia said. “He’s a very capable stallion; he should be just-” A door slammed at the end of the hallway and everypony jumped in surprise. Luna gingerly stuck her head around the doorframe, ready to blast any potential intruders in the face with her magic when she saw Shining Armor dressed in his guard uniform with his bags slung over his back. “Shining Armor?” Luna asked. “What are you doing?” “What does it look like I’m doing?” Shining Armor said, heading for the stairs. “You heard the radio; all royal guards have to report to their posts.” “You’re…you’re not seriously thinking of going back, are you?” Celestia said. “You heard the radio; Canterlot is a warzone!” “I know!” Shining Armor said. “That’s why I’m going! The City Watch is going to need every guard they can get to even have a chance at surviving the night! I have to get back to Canterlot as soon as possible!” “What are you going to do; hop in a cab?!” Sombra chuckled darkly. “You’re not going to be able to get a train back there and even if you make it to the city walls what good will one guardsman do?!” “More good than he’s doing here!” Shining Armor said. “Look, I’m sorry that I’m leaving you guys high and dry here but Canterlot is going to need my help more than you will.” “Shining Armor, wait!” Cadence said, quickly blocking the hallway to prevent him from leaving. “We, well, that is Luna, found something about some Rainbow Shard thingies and she needs your help to get them!” “I know this sounds far out,” Celestia said. “Believe me I do but Luna thinks Princess Twilight sent us here to collect these things! We need your help!” “You and about a million other ponies in Canterlot!” Shining Armor shouted, startling Cadence into backing away from him. “Look…best of luck to you Luna but my friends and family are trapped in that city with Tirek and who knows what he dragged up from Tartarus with him! I don’t have time to go running down fairy tales; I need to be there for them, no matter what the cost!” Shining Armor brushed past Cadence, shooting her an apologetic glance as he started down the stairs. “Shining Armor,” Luna said sharply. “What did Princess Twilight order you to do when you left Canterlot yesterday?” “Luna this isn’t the time for-” “What…did your princess…order you…to do?” Luna said, firmly emphasizing every syllable. Shining Armor stopped on the way downstairs with a sigh. “To…to protect you so long as you were in Fillydelphia but-” “And have your orders changed at all?” Luna asked. “Of course they have!” Shining Armor cried. “Everything’s changed!” “Have they?” Luna said. “Am I not still in Fillydelphia?” “Well…yes but-“ “And am I not still in need of protection?” Luna said. “Yes, but-” “Did Princess Twilight personally reassign you from our protection detail to the city defense while we weren’t looking?” Luna said. “…no.” Shining Armor grumbled. “Then drop the bag lieutenant,” Luna said firmly. "You still have a job to do here." Shining Armor glared at the floor in front of him and for a moment, Luna was worried that he was going to bolt for the door. “You feel helpless?” Luna asked, walking down the stairs. “Join the freaking club. You’re not the only one with friends and family in Canterlot and I would like nothing more than to go help Princess Twilight fight right now. But there’s nothing we can do yet. Guards are falling by the minute in Canterlot right now and the last thing the Princesses need is another dead guard.” “What am I supposed to do then?!” Shining Armor cried, turning to face Luna, his face scrunched in anguish. “Can you promise me that these “Rainbow Shards” are going to beat Tirek?! Can you say that this plan of yours is worth risking our lives for?!” “No,” Luna said. “I wish I could but I can’t. All I can say is that Princess Twilight thinks that this is the best chance we have right now. This is why she sent us to Fillydelphia! And I need you here with me if I’m ever going to have a chance at getting these Shards!” “And what if they don’t work?” Shining Armor said. “Or what if they just make things worse?! What if we spend all night rooting around for these things only to find out that they don’t help at all?!” “Shining Armor,” Cadence said softly, stepping forward. “I feel for you, I really do, but running off to Canterlot without a plan isn’t going to help anypony. I-I know you’re scared right now and worried for your family and friends but I think the best thing you can do now is help Luna get these Rainbow Shards to Princess Twilight. We don’t have another choice…please don’t go. Stay here with me.” “Us,” Chrysalis corrected. "Stay here with us." “I know what I said,” Cadence said. “So...are you going to protect me?” Luna asked. Shining Armor worked his jaw in frustration, glaring at the steps in front of him. He took a step up the stairs and immediately stepped back, running a hoof through his mane in agitation. He started back down the stairs but stopped before he hit the ground floor landing. He teetered indecisively on the edge for a long moment and for a second, Luna thought he was going to leave. Then, he let out a long sigh and dropped his saddlebag to the floor with a resigned thump. “Thank you,” Luna said. “This better be worth it,” Shining Armor said as the other five joined him in the entryway. "I hope it will be," Luna sighed, turning to the others. "Well, that's two down; what about the rest of you?" “Well…I supposed it beats the stuffing out of cowering under my bed for the rest of the night, waiting to be sent to Tirek’s gulags,” Chrysalis sighed. “And if I am to be killed by some hideous monstrosity, I would like to get it over with before I get even more attached to being alive. So…I suppose I’ll come with you.” “Thank you, Chrysalis,” Luna sighed. Truth be told, she felt a little better knowing there was another magic user backing her up. “What about you two?” Celestia asked, turning to Sombra and Cadence. “The door’s right there if you want to get going, but I think we could use your help here.” “Look…you guys are great,” Sombra said, rubbing the back of his head with his hooves. “ And if the world wasn't coming to an end, I'd definitely want to hang out with you guys some more. But we need to lay low if there’s any chance of surviving the night!” “That’s heroic,” Shining Armor scoffed. “I’m not risking my life and the life of my sister so you can feel heroic!” Sombra barked. “I need to look after my sister; I need to get her to safety as quickly as I can before Tirek decides to attack Fillydelphia. Back me up here, Cadence!” “I’m in,” Cadence said quickly. "I'm going with you, Luna." “Exactly; sorry Luna but we-WHAT?!” Sombra spluttered, rounding on his sister. “What do you mean ‘you’re in?!” “I’m…I’m going with Luna to get these Rainbow Shard thingies,” Cadence said. “Cadence, have you lost your mind?!” Sombra hissed. “This is a suicide mission!” “Thank you for the vote of confidence,” Luna sighed. “I’m sorry, but it is!” Sombra cried. “Loathe as I am to admit it, Hero Boy here was right! There’s no proof these Rainbow Shards are going to do what you want them to do!” “Princess Twilight believes they can help!” Cadence said. “And what if Luna’s right? What if these things are the only weapon we have against Tirek? Are you just going to let her go searching for them alone?” “Okay…let’s just say for kicks and giggles that the pieces of Tirek’s ultimate weapon can somehow be used against him,” Sombra said, rubbing his eyes. “You would still have to delve into the Tomb of St. Trixie to get them and I don’t think the greatest archmage in Equestrian history would just leave them in the entrance for anypony to pick up.” “You…you think the tomb is trapped?” Shining Armor said. “Traps?! If you’re lucky that’s all there will be,” Sombra laughed bitterly. “If I was St. Trixie, a mare of near limitless magical power, and my girlfriend told me to keep pieces of Tirek’s greatest weapon safe I would make sure that the place I kept them in was a bloody deathmaze! I would enchant golems to shoot flaming crossbow bolts at the entrance the second someone broke in! I would build false vaults and fake doorways to drive intruders mad! I’d bind a greater elemental dragon of fire to the whole building and incinerate anypony fool enough to go poking around for these things!” “That’s an oddly specific list of hazards,” Luna asked. “What makes you such an expert on magical treasure protection?” “I’m a jeweler,” Sombra said, rolling his eyes. “I may not be a unicorn but I’d wager I know more about magical seals and security measures than most sorcerers do. I’ve read every book on warding and magical security and half of them were written by St. Trixie herself! My vaults were modeled after designs she implemented in the Sultan of Saddle Arabia’s treasure hoard. They have jade automata protecting them with electrified nets and stinging acid sprays so you can bet St. Trixie has something worse in store for anypony looking for the Rainbow Shards!” “Well, what choice to we have?!” Celestia cried. “Look, rooting around in a batty sorceress’ crypt is not exactly how I wanted to spend my Anniversary Eve but seeing as how our other option is to lay down and wait for Tirek to kill us or worse I think I’ll roll the dice with the Rainbow Shards.” “But what if the Princesses can’t use them?” Sombra said. “What if all of this is for nothing?!” “Sombra,” Cadence said. “What if this is the only chance Equestria has?” “Cadence-” “I know it sounds crazy,” Cadence said. “But if Luna is right, then the Princesses need our help!” “They don’t need your help,” Sombra pleaded. “The princesses don’t need you.” “Sombra…” Cadence said, taking her brother’s face in her hooves. “I’m not a little filly anymore. You don't have to hover over me all the time; I can take care of myself!” “But…” Sombra said, helplessly sagging his shoulders. “I can’t let you go with nopony to protect you!” “Shining Armor can protect us,” Cadence said, turning to the flustered guard. "Right?" “Correction; you have less than nopony to protect you,” Sombra said. “Hey!” Shining Armor cried. “I’ll have you know I was the Dusk Patrol’s Rookie of the Year three years in a row!" “All that tells me is that you’ve been a rookie for three years now!” Sombra snapped. “No, I’m coming with you; if only to make sure there’s someone who can protect you guys from the mall cop with a hero complex!” “You know something?” Shining Armor said. “Call me crazy but I’m starting to get the impression that you don’t like me very much.” “J-just starting?!” Sombra spluttered. Luna watched Sombra and Shining Armor bicker and came to the sickening realization that they were the last hope for the Equestrian people. An athlete, a castle guard, a matchmaker, an actress, a jeweler and an overly excitable egghead. Would they be enough? “So…are you all in?” Luna asked. “Of course!” Celestia said. “Count me in!” Cadence replied “I’m with you, dear,” Chrysalis said. “I got your back!” Shining Armor said firmly. “I guess we are,” Sombra sighed. Luna felt a surge of warmth run through her and for the first time since she learned of Tirek’s return, Luna felt like they had a fighting chance. "Thank you," Luna said, throwing a jacket over her shoulders. "Now then...who wants to go grave robbing?"