When Bella wakes up, she discovers that Edward stayed all night to watch her sleep, which totally isn’t creepy in the slightest. During breakfast, he proposes that she meet his family. What with the different vampire powers, they already know about the two of them already, so it’s just a matter of time. Edward also mentions that Bella should introduce him to Charlie. Because Bella is a terrible, terrible person, she doesn’t want to. Not for any real reason, just ’cause. And:

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Alice’s visitors arrive: three other vampires named Laurent, James, and Victoria. They exchange pleasantries with the Cullens, having not had any vampiric company in quite a while. Carlisle invites them to the Cullens’ home, and this happens:

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Good thing I’ve got a strong Bullshit Sensor (or so I hope…).

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The hunt begins with a halfway-decent character scene where Bella’s nervous about jumping out the second-story window even though she knows she’s indestructible now. But then it’s ruined when she tries it and does it perfectly.

“That was quite graceful — even for a vampire.”

BECAUSE WE CAN’T INCONVENIENCE OUR PROTAGONIST. NO. SIR.

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As Bella and Edward run back to the house, she asks him to tell her about (bleelalgh) Renesmee. It’s the boringness of perfection: she’s wonderful, she’s about a half-and-half split between a vampire and a human, she sleeps soundly, she prefers to drink blood although she can eat human food, and she communicates effectively even though she doesn’t speak yet. Well. Isn’t that convenient. However, Edward’s frustrated over Jacob imprinting on (ghghghgh) Renesmee, but he manages to hide that fact

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When Bella gets home, she says to Edward that she went Christmas shopping for Nessie and got her a little something: a rully purty necklace. Edward approves of it. She wants to practice fighting with Emmett some more, but Edward says that’ll have to wait until tomorrow. Why, I don’t know. He doesn’t give a single reason. Bella accepts it because I don’t know. Girl, can’t you have any initiative? Bella recognizes that, in order for Nessie to have a chance to run away at all, the Cullens

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It’s time for Bella to meet Jenks again, to pick up her papers. She drives back to Seattle, reminiscing that, since she didn’t know what she was doing, she had to go through the “obviously up to no good route” to know what to ask for. I guess Alice couldn’t have written “J. Jenks — forger” in her note because… Oh, look, a Baltimore oriole! Wow they’re orange.

She meets Jenks at a restaurant and we get more evidence of his underutilization:

“Have you known Jasper long?”

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So Cel, what are you talking about?

A while ago, Present Perfect asked about this:

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Writing is not hard; starting is.

During the typewriter dark ages, we called it staring at a white page. Today, I suppose, it's staring at an empty screen.

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Introduction

In the expansive realm of programming languages, Python stands as an emblem of versatility, simplicity, and innovation. It has transcended its role as a mere coding language to become a pivotal tool shaping the technological landscape of tomorrow. This article embarks on a captivating exploration, unraveling the multifaceted facets of Python, and delving into its profound influence on the evolving future of technology.

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2024 has come, and with it came Japan's biggest earthquake since 2011. We got hit by a whopping 7.6 on the Noto peninsula in Ishikawa prefecture at about 4:15PM on January 1st.

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Thought I’d take a moment to talk a little bit about Pinkie Pie and the Search for the Missing Adventure and the backstory behind it.

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As Bella drifts away, she hears the sounds of a fight. Then she concludes she’s dead, because she hears the voice of an angel. Guess who the “angel” is. You never thought you were dead before when you heard his voice, why start now? And, seriously, even when it’s obvious it’s Edward, she keeps referring to him as “the angel” for pages. It might’ve been to convey her state of shock, but it didn’t do a very good job. Anyway, Edward, Carlisle, and Alice work together to try to stem Bella’s

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If it means this book is finally over, yes it’s happy.

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…snrk. Yeah, right.

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Bella turns into a vampire and it hurts.

And that’s literally the whole chapter.

I am not fucking kidding.

We go back to Bella’s perspective right as she vomits blood. We get a brief recap of what she saw from the last chapter, only with a lot of descriptions of pain. Bella manages to cling to consciousness long enough to see (blalgh) Renesmee before blacking out.

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…There really aren’t. This is ugly.

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Edward and Carlisle are unable to find Irina, so they let the matter drop. Days go by with nothing bad happening, so the Cullens decide to go about business as usual. But one day, while arranging some vases, Alice gets a vision so shocking that she drops one: the Volturi are coming for the Cullens. All of them. They’ll be arriving in about a month. Because there’s so many of them, it can’t just be to check up on Bella’s current life/undeath status; it’s about Nessie. When Irina saw Nessie

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Too-much-bullshit alert.

Jacob, Leah, and Seth run another patrol around the Cullen house, and I feel like I’ve said something along those lines twenty times in the past eight chapters. Leah awkwardly thanks Jacob for putting up with her and promises to try to not get on his nerves. They do nothing of consequence for nine pages and this book is so padded a La-Z-Boy factory would find it excessive. Eventually, Leah speaks up again:

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