Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Airplane.

And now:

Welcome back. Did you miss me? I missed you.

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Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Xenon: warrior gas.

And now:

Hey.

Hey.

You know how Theresa keeps making new problems for herself with every problem she 'solves'?

Yeah, so now she's getting sued.

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Next time we go to war with rich religious chickenshits over state's rights, don't stop torching their shit just because they surrender.

Finish the job next time.

Edit: Alright, seven followers down! I invite any other worthless Jesus Freaks to no longer receive updates on something as important as my MLP fanfiction.

Previously, on Empress Theresa:

How can I best explain how little happened in so many, many words?

And now:

Before we begin, I have some news.

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Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Sim Country.

And now:

We begin the nineteenth chapter with a televised announcement from Prime Minister Scherzer. It includes telling the world not to challenge Theresa's power, and that she deserves the title of Empress. He doesn't tell the world of their plan, as per said plan, but does say they came to an agreement.

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LADIEES AND GENTLEMEN!! PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR THE GREATEST MATCHUP IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!!

Previously, on The Shadow God:

Ugh.

And now:

Quick summary of the previous chapter for anyone who skipped: Craig and Todd got away from Detective Underwood. Mark crossed the moral event horizon. Mark and Kristy were killed by Ridley.

Let us speak of it no more.

This chapter is called "A History Lesson", and begins with Craig once again dreaming of the same place he always seems to dream of:

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

Spelunking!

And now:

The chapter begins where we left off: Craig and Todd have just discovered that the cave they were exploring leads to Father Spiers' church.

Craig opens the door a little and peeks inside. He sees that almost the entire town is there, sitting in the pews, facing Father Spiers and a man Craig doesn't recognize but who is surely Ridley.

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

Werewolves!

And now:

Health update: surgery's on Friday. I'm getting a plate put in my hand, fulfilling at last my childhood dream of becoming a bionic man.

In other news...

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

Darkness with a capital D!

And now:

We begin the chapter with Mark and Craig finding each other in the Dark World.

Suddenly, Mark and Craig touched, with their hands clenching tightly together.
“Mark?”
“Yeah, it’s me.”
Craig and Mark embraced each other, patting each other on the back as they hugged.

Ooh, spicy!

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

Todd ain't nothin' but a horn-dog!

And now:

We resume the story with Craig and Mark, who are hurtling through the streets in Craig's truck.

Craig knew the blue light would be there to tempt Todd, but he couldn’t imagine Todd actually falling for the whispers’ tricks. He knew Todd had better self-control.

You want to bet on that?

“Jesus,” said Mark, holding onto the support handle. “Not in a hurry, are you?”

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

Detective Underwood took a nap!

And now:

We open with Underwood pulling up outside of Mark's house. He briefly wonders if potentially contaminating a crime scene is worth it, but the idea of becoming sheriff drives those thoughts away. He goes inside and heads down into the basement.

“Pssst!”
Underwood turned behind him, drawing his gun, glad that he didn’t forget it. Who was that?
“Pssst! Over here!”

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I'm heading to sleep..... The fic should be here by tomorrow though! Night guys.

Previously, on Empress Theresa:

A chapter that wasn't totally boring!

And now:

Guess who's back.

Back again.

Theresa's back.

Tell a friend.

Gues who's back, guess who's back, etc. etc.

A month has passed since the Paris trip, and, I quote, 'the oppression of being trapped in this luxurious prison' is getting to Theresa again. Remember how I said that maybe Theresa might solve the wind thing this chapter? Yeah, no. Crops are still dying, folks. Keep that in mind.

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Previously, on Empress Theresa:
Splat!
And now:

So following her daring escape in the last chapter, Theresa wakes up in a hospital bed next to the British Prime Minister.
No, not in the bed. That would be weird.

I slammed my hand on the mattress in frustration.  For eight years I had kept HAL a secret.  My life was ruined.  All I wanted was a quiet life.  I didn’t get it.  What was I supposed to do next?
“I’ll bet my secret is out.”

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Kindle app says we're 12% in. Woohoooooooo.
Previously, on Empress Theresa:
First meeting to marriage in a matter of pages.
And now:

Just a reminder, the last chapter ended with this line:

I was driving the car alone one Saturday to go grocery shopping, thinking of the wonderful future waiting for me.

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Previously, on Empress Theresa:

New York!

And now:

The chapter begins with a New York Times headline and a call from the president. She wants to meet up at the White House. Steve decides this is a bad idea for seemingly no reason and instead requests a representative come to West Point (they're back in West Point, by the way).

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Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!?

And now:

Welcome to the last chapter, folks. It's been a wild ride, hasn't it? Let's see what Mr. Boutin has to play us off.

If you'll recall, Theresa's apparent plan to deal with the new HAL users is to put the ENTIRE WORLD into suspended animation. She began doing this, as usual, without telling anyone and with no one's permission. Could have at least given us some warning, Theresa.

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