Oiiiil (RB Vs. Empress Theresa, Chapter 19) · 5:02pm May 8th, 2021
Previously, on Empress Theresa:
Sim Country.
And now:
We begin the nineteenth chapter with a televised announcement from Prime Minister Scherzer. It includes telling the world not to challenge Theresa's power, and that she deserves the title of Empress. He doesn't tell the world of their plan, as per said plan, but does say they came to an agreement.
Meanwhile, Theresa puts the first stages of the Antarctica plan into motion. She creates a ten-mile-wide wall of ice across the area she'll be working in, forming a diagonal 'channel' connecting opposite corners of the rectangular work zone. This excites the scientists at the nearby Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station, which is stated to house one hundred and fifty people at the time, a figure which is taken directly from here.
Meanwhile, a US Senator who, quote, "wanted to be a television celebrity", makes a speech about how much land damage Theresa is doing and calls her "the most dangerous person who ever lived". I don't disagree.
This apparently leads to everyone forgetting how much they were celebrating her before, and demonstrations against Theresa's work occur across the world. The people are afraid of her power. Theresa can't understand why.
President Stinson calls Theresa up. She's angry. She demands to know what Theresa's up to. She wants Theresa to come to Washington.
Theresa says she's still waiting for an apology for them trying to kill her and hangs up. Y'know, I'm beginning to think Theresa just hates explaining things. She sure doesn't seem to do much of it. But this is a bit weird—she was fully prepared to tell Mr. Scherzer her plans. Oh well.
Next comes a call from Mr. Blair. He's going to move soldiers and anti-aircraft weaponry up to the house, ostensibly to protect Theresa from attacks by foreign nations, but also so she can be kept an eye on. By dawn, they've set up Gatling guns and small missile launchers around the house.
People continue their protests. Life goes on.
Three days after initiating the process, Theresa's ice channel hits the Ross Ice Shelf. Water from beneath the ice shelf begins rushing into the channel at high speed. She then tells HAL to start applying pressure downwards on the ice wall and goes to bed.
The next morning, Theresa initiates three new programs. A massive curtain of ice rises at two-hundred miles-per-hour along the western edge of the rectangle. It's five hundred miles long, and fifty times wider than the channel. It's pretty big.
Theresa begins launching all of the ice within the rectangle into outer space, leaving behind a flat floor of rock at sea level. Theresa then begins to push this rock downward.
If all of this is confusing, I apologize. I'm trying to convey what's happening as best I can, but it's difficult to parse in the text, and I'm having to re-read sections multiple times to grok them. Theresa's constant interruptions about the media's response to all of this aren't helping. Please bear with me.
Now the water in the channel is rushing down towards the Ross Ice shelf. It reaches its destination and begins flowing into the empty rectangle. By the next morning, the rectangle has dropped 1700 feet.
The purpose of the water channel is revealed: Theresa is doing this to keep sea levels steady. Her math is so perfect that water levels around the world have not moved by a single inch, which is pretty frankly insane; the real world doesn't conform to math nearly that well.
Except then on the third day the Atlantic rises by four feet.
Whoops. But then the Pacific drops a foot. The Atlantic stops rising at five feet, which is within acceptable parameters for Theresa, even though that's more than enough to cause substantial flooding in some coastal areas. Whoops.
Meanwhile, the street demonstrations have stopped. The world is watching, and they are scared.
By noon of the fourth day, the sea bed begins rising between Africa and Antarctica: the intended result of the plan. By the sixth day, it breaches the surface. When it's a hundred feet above sea level, it stops.
Theresa goes to bed. By the next morning, the soldiers are gone from around the Parker estate. Theresa is miffed she never got an apology.
PM Blair shows up. They tell him about the changes to their plan. Instead of bringing a bunch of carbon down to Earth, they figure this new oil-rich land will provide all the power they need. Instead, with the carbon Theresa's isolated, she's going to...
She's going to...
She's...
Sigh.
She's going to turn it into diamonds and put them in orbit to give the Israelis eternal daylight.
Why?
Like actually why, though? What's the benefit? You'll kill their crops with that! Plants and animals need nighttime! That includes humans! Everything evolved that way! Stop changing the delicate balance of nature! Assuming you could even make that work, which you probably couldn't!
Anyway, she also promises to dump a huge pile of diamonds in England, which makes Blair happy. Good for him.
Meanwhile, Theresa has Jan setting up their oil business. Twenty dollars a barrel, just like she said.
Blair gets to announce the 'oil island' to the world. OPEC begins sweating.
Next, Theresa raises the island for the Israelis. This is described in great detail. It's unimportant here.
Meanwhile, Jan finalizes her business. ExxonMobile is the first to get a team to the island. They hit oil on their first try. The chapter ends with Steve saying how stupid the OPEC people are.
This book is beginning to really, physically exhaust me. I feel tired after every chapter. At least there's only nine more to go.
See you next time, folks.
This is "Ignore the haters", the novel.
5515248
If only Mr. Boutin knew how to do that.
Actually, he seems determined to do the opposite. I recently discovered that he once went on a Jewish forum called Hashkafah (purportedly, site doesn't seem to exist anymore so I can't verify it) to ask about whether the Israelis would evacuate their homeland given the circumstances described in the book, then started arguing with them when they told him no.
5515559
wow
This guy knows no bounds.
Like, literally none.
I'm honestly waiting for him to sign up for Fimfiction from vanity Googling so he can come here and argue with you in the comments.
5515740
That was a legitimate concern I had while writing this.
If he does show up, I'm asking for an interview.