Theresa Does a Football (RB Vs. Empress Theresa, Chapter 23) · 5:03pm May 12th, 2021
Previously, on Empress Theresa:
Airplane.
And now:
Welcome back. Did you miss me? I missed you.
Our chapter for today opens with Theresa and Steve arriving at their newly-constructed house at West Point. Theresa's parents are there; there's a tearful reunion. No sign of Steve's parents; I guess they weren't worthy of protection. Also, there's a reference to Theresa's mother having magically recovered from some kind of mental disorder? I don't remember reading anything about that, do you?
The house has three bedrooms and is in the ranch style, a fact so nice that Mr. Boutin felt the need to state it twice.
Our cross-Atlantic plane flight came up. I learned that President Stinson was called minutes after HAL put everybody into deep sleep. There was a raging controversy about what to do when I got to New York. Some people wanted to lower a telephone on a cable next to the cockpit on the chance that I would figure out how to open the pilot’s side window which can be done at low altitudes.
That is the absolute stupidest plan I have ever heard, and the fact that the book immediately points out why that is right afterward doesn't make it any better.
As unbelievable as it may seem, the media speculated that I had contrived this crisis to make myself look like a hero!
Can you blame them? Apparently, yes.
Anyway, Theresa's parents quickly shuffle back out of the story and off to Boston. Apparently they only need minimum security, as "[Theresa's] enemies were not like the Mafia who go after families". Reminder, Theresa's enemies were more than happy to blow up and sink a fully-staffed oil tanker to get to her. I don't think they're that disciplined, Theresa.
Anyway, Theresa goes and has her football game. That's American football, for anyone who may be confused. It's described as being bigger than the Super Bowl. Scoring is decided to be by touchdowns only, for reasons of making the game entertaining. Personally, I don't think that's enough to make football interesting to watch, but I like baseball, so I guess I don't get to comment.
The newspaper had a shameless headline: “Can Cute Quarterback Coordinate Chaotic Club? Coaches Cautious, Crowd Convinced.” Crazy cacophonous comments, crackhead! Corny crap.
Certainly. Oh, you were talking about the headline. That too, I guess.
Anyway, Theresa's amateur team actually loses the game 48-36 to the Army, despite her throwing arm. She's not too shook up about it.
The whole game is skipped over in one sentence, by the way. Just to keep things from getting too interesting. What, you want more excitement after last chapter? Count your blessings!
Can't help but notice that we're skipping over something that Theresa actually struggles at, though...
Anyway, Theresa and Steve decide to go on an outing to New York City. Apparently neither of them have ever been, despite living in Boston. (Man, it's been ages since I last visited the Big Apple. You ever been? It's a grimy sort of wonderful.) They're pursued by paparazzi, of course.
They stop by Theresa's office building to see Jan Struthers. Theresa's also in the base metals business now, by the way. Nickel, copper, chromium, titanium, etc. The sun contains very little (relatively) of these metals.
Theresa's oil island is doing well, too. Three million barrels a day, to be precise. Theresa ends the visit a half-trillionaire. Good for her.
Theresa and Steve then retire to their apartment in an office building in downtown Manhattan. What, you didn't know they had an apartment in New York? Well, neither did I. Careful; the rent might leave you broke.
On the fifth day of their vacation, something weird starts to happen.
They were ten Asian men who looked to be in their twenties, although it was hard to tell. When they saw me they immediately started crying and lamenting. They held pictures of me, put their hands out and begged for something. I couldn’t tell what they wanted; they spoke in some Asiatic language.
Theresa makes a point of ignoring people usually, but this group is so strange they catch her attention. Over the next few days, the men are still there, doing the same routine each time. Eventually, Theresa asks one of their security detail to find out what the deal is. Turns out, they're a bunch of North Korean refugees. One of them gives her a tape. It's a documentary about society in NK. It doesn't go over well. Theresa promises to do everything she can for their people.
Theresa calls up the Editor of the New York Times. She wants more info.
What permitted me to mess around with North Korea? I didn’t want anything for myself. Prime Minister Blair told me half of literature shows that desire and hate go together. Somebody goes after something, can’t get it by legitimate means and turns evil. That wouldn’t happen to me. I didn’t want anything I didn’t already have.
Weird reasoning, but her heart's in the right place, I guess. So ends the chapter.
Until next time, folks.
Absolutely no one should trust her at this point. But that requires higher level thinking. :B
Not sure I agree! XD
5517564
Must have been those chipmunk videos. It's the only explanation.