This is a little bit of advice that I saw through some internet meme about seduction. No, I am not going to put the moves on you . . . or will I?

Ladies.

Anyhoo, one of the biggest complaints that some writers have once they have started to learn the ropes is that they feel like their sentences don't feel quite mature enough. They just don't seem like something that would appear in a professional writer's novel. Well then, my fine students and companions, I'm here tonight to give you a little push towards literary maturity (via word choice).

The biggest offender of making your work sound childish is that damnable adverb "very". When a little kid wants to describe something that they don't quite have the words to explain, they will often supplement their vocabulary with the lazy, freeloading, potato-chip eating, girlfriend stealing, no good, doesn't pay his half of the goddamned rent, cat kicking jerk that is the bastard 'very'. When something is taller than normal, it is "very tall". When a person is prettier than most other people, they are "very pretty". When someone rambles on to make it seem like they might actually know something when all they want is to breathe some life back into their slowly stagnating group, they are "very desperate".

To Hell with very!

Unless it's in dialogue, never use that adverbial trickster! It is laziness and blandness rolled into a cinnabun of deceit and lies! (Mmmm, cinnabuns . . . )

So let's try to stab the heart of this proverbial white whale.

The giant is very tall.

The giant is gargantuan!

She is very pretty.

She is quite beautiful, stunning actually.

The boy was very sad.

The boy's heart was cast into a pit of endless gloom and despair.

Get the picture yet?

(I misspoke, "very" can be useful as an adjective.)

2882401
Yep. Your lesson is very clear.

Wait…

2882401

2882431

2882401
I would agree, with a few exceptions.

Keeping in mind that "very" has a young and inarticulate vibe to it, it can be useful in the dialogue and first person or third person limited narration of characters who are young and/or have a limited vocabulary about what they're talking about. In that case, you're using it because it's a bad word for what you're talking about, but the character would be using or thinking without the words to describe it.

(The same goes for "really" and "totally.")

2882498
Example:

The thurmaturgic reactor in the basement is overloaded and if it can't contain the spell I used it's going to cause a reaction that could affect every ley line in Equestria!

Uh, is that a bad thing?

Yes, Rainbow. It's a bad thing. It's a very bad thing.

2882533

Unless it's in dialogue, never use that adverbial trickster!

(I misspoke, "very" can be useful as an adjective.)

*Ctrl+f 'very'* Oh Crap

....

Well that's what the edit button is for I guess. Valuable lesson learned and applied

2882401

This book is very good.

This book is excellent.

It was very hot outside.

It was scorching outside.

The party was very fun.

The party was awesome!

I was very tired.

I could barely keep my eyes open.

This list is very long.

This list goes on and on, it doesn't seem to stop.

I'm getting very bored right now.

Are you almost done? This is taken too long!

I'm very happy you like these.

I'm glad you enjoy these.

I'm very hungry.

I'm starving!

You're very annoying.

You're driving me crazy!

2882401
Great, and duly noted.

2882545
I did miss that first part. Sorry.

But I still hold that in narration that's meant to mimic a characters "voice" it can work as well.

Example for that:

Sweetie Belle knew she was in trouble. She wasn't sure why, but Rarity seemed very, very angry with her, and for no good reason! It wasn't like she knew that it was going to rain when she took Rarity's silk dress for show and tell. She thought Rarity would be flattered!

2882612

.... you win this time.

2882401

2882639
No winner, here. What you said is way more important, because without recognizing that, you don't think about what kinds of characters would use a word like "very."

I just mentioned exceptions in an attempt to avoid thesaurus abuse in the cases of characters where it makes no sense. I've seen one too many fics where Rainbow Dash or Applejack suddenly thinks in the vocabulary of an English major (they often end up staring at scenery in these stories, as well.) Gotta stop that when I can.

2882739 You know what? That's fair. Thesaurus abuse is another one of the markers of not-quite professional writing.

2882566
I'm sure Fluttershy's only mad at the person who is a board.

They should get that checked out.

2882401 That Giant was giant!

In other words, this thread was very, very crossed.

2883781 Those are some very pissed off trains.

2884289
You don't know half of it.

Your lesson is very persuasive. Compelling even.

She is quite beautiful, stunning actually.

You don't like 'very', but you're advocating the use of 'quite'?

Weird move.

2889331
I know, right? It's really tacky.

After reading this, I searched for the word "very" in the chapter I'm working on finishing. It only appeared when it said something like "to this very day."

I think I did very well to avoid the very annoying word!

Actually quite an useful tip. I almost used very there. I'll need to fix that in some of stories.

Thanks for the advice. I don't believe I use "very" too often but I'll definitely be more careful in the future!

2882401 Great lesson! Reminds me of a quote from Dead Poets Society that even has a seduction part:

“So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays.”

2960211 I think that might be what I ripped it off of.

This was actually really helpful, I'm always noticing that my writing is using too many immature words and very is amongst them. thank you for the advice. and I didn't use very in the comment too! yay!