The Conversion Bureau 711 members · 381 stories
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pjabrony #1 · Mar 2nd, 2013 · · 63 ·

Do you think you can hurt us? Do you think you can stop us? We are ponies. We reside up the highest mountain in Canterlot, six miles below the surface of the Earth, and behind a barrier of radiation that destroys all impurities.

Would you starve us? We can raise food from the ground with our hooves. Would you bind us? We can fly faster and farther than you can even see. Would you strike us? The force fields from our horns are impenetrable by any of your mundane technology.

We hold hooves and dance beneath the wings of Celestia herself. When we sleep, Luna watches over us and ensures our dreams are fruitful. Cadance holds us together in love. Twilight Sparkle keeps secret wisdom that you would not have the first inkling of. The elements of harmony shine in our hearts.

We are bound in friendship, and friendship is magic. The depth of your impotence is matched only by the height of your ignorance as to just how impotent you are. Should we feel even the slightest displeasure at contact with you, it is only the reaction of our magical immune system. You are no more than an itch, a fly to be swished away by our tails.

So please, come at us. We all enjoy a good laugh.

Chatoyance forever! The New Conversion Bureau will be thousands of times better than the last!

Some people just want to see the world burn.

And then they realize that they can't.


... My brain hurts from reading that, honestly.

Please stop, you're making us look like a bunch of loons.

pjabrony #7 · Mar 2nd, 2013 · · 32 ·


I'm not speaking for anypony else. For my part, I don't care if people think me loony. I can take it.

Comment posted by Miyu Shinohara deleted Mar 2nd, 2013


You know, with that gif of Pinkie laughing, it's like a sentient reminder of why so many people hate the fans of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

Because there really is a depressingly large amount of fans that really do act like this.

752519 I will agree with this.

"We exist upon a planet designed to eradicate anything that does not fight and scratch and claw to survive, and we have emerged as one of the most dominant species upon it. We would starve you, for while your farmers raise pittances with their hooves our thousands of miles of automated and machine-assisted farmlands produce hundreds of tons of food per day to feed our populace. We would bind you, for your best pegasi can barely break the sound barrier, while many of our planes do it on a regular basis. We would strike you, for a few hundred creatures were able to eradicate the barriers of your strongest warriors by simply pounding at it with their heads, and our weaponry are far more effective than simple flesh."
"We pray to gods that may not know we exist, that only show their faces in miracles and from on high. We have no love in our hearts for creatures like you, because you threaten our fellow men and women, whom we love as fiercly as one can only love their own species upon an invasion from beyond. For thousands of years you have languished in decadence and happy obedience; for thousands of years we have worked and bled and sweat to achieve what you have by default. If your cities rise then we will bomb them. If your prophets attempt conversion then we shall kill them. We will poison your screaming children, remove your raging beasts from existence, and cast out the mad spawn of your ignorant and uncaring gods from our world, our reality."
"The future of humanity is a shadowy one, and one day our reign may be over. But while we were here, we lived too. We will make sure you do not forget that, one way or another."

766031 You do realize that you're violating one of the rules laid down by Chatoyance by joining this group right?

oberon #14 · Mar 7th, 2013 · · 2 ·

Do we look like we care?

766196 Which one would that be? The one where constructive/creative arguments in response to another similar argument is not allowed? I most certainly do not see that rule anywhere.

What did you expect? Now that Chatoyance has been hounded off of FiMfiction every spiteful person who hates and reviles her is going to come here to post their spite. The flame wars have begun again.

You cared enough to post a response to Classyman, so yes, you do look like you care.

I think it's because you (and me) are part of the ACB group.

Re: Do we look like we care enough to bend to unjust rules?

Heh, the only reason you have the courage to bend to the rules of this forum is because the person who would inforce said rules is no longer here. Don't you find it a bit telling that you only started doing this when you where sure that there wouldn't be any consequences to your actions? So yes, your behavior does indeed shows that you care.

Started doing what?

Yet again, you appear to be trying to instigate flamewars. Seriously, calm down, reel your tone back in, then post what you want to say. Because at the moment it's hard to take your words seriously when they drip with bile.

If you're looking for things to help, I find going for a night-time walk extremely therapeutic. I didn't think I would, but it really surprised me. Grab some music, grab a jacket, and let your mind wander. It's amazing.

Also, aimless driving achieves a similar result.

Anyone else found similar calming tips? I know I find them in the most unusual fashions.

I was there before she went away.

766514 I enjoy strolling on the pebble beaches where I live. Nice to watch the sea, but you gotta watch out for broken glass.

I don't live near the coast, but there is a huge open area about half a mile from where I live atm. I head out there at night sometimes to lie on my back and stargaze. Really puts things in perspective.

*sigh* This again? Please, read my comments on this thread. The Anti-Conversion Bureau group and the Humans aren't Bastards group are not hate groups, they do not exist to spread hate. Anyone who does spread hate and cause strife between the two different factions does so knowing they are violating the rules and guidelines of BOTH groups, as well as the overarching site rules.
I am not here to cause problems, to create flame wars. I was unbanned by Chatoyance herself, despite my membership in both groups that are supposedly banned. I think that's justification enough for me, and my fellow members of the Anti-Conversion Bureau and Humans Aren't Bastards groups, to be here.

766275 766506
Wait, Chatoyance left the site? Really? When did this happen?
Regardless, most of the people you are yelling at for being here were here when Chatoyance was here, so no, we didn't come here because there would be "no consequences".
Also, what flame wars? This group's been, for the most part, dead. Any posts I've seen posted since the deal on the Administration thread haven't even been TCB related, or if they have, it's not been flamed on or attacked.
The only person who is causing trouble here is you. Drop it, and no one will care.

So it seems.

Last Seen: 4 days, 8 minutes ago

766230>>766586 I never stated that I agreed with that rule (I highly detest it in fact.), I'm just wondering if any of the admins of this group are taking them seriously. I really hope they aren't, as it would make them look just as insecure as the person who started this group.

No, I don't believe they are. If they did, I'd protest it... again.
The fact Chatoyance did unban me has to count for something though.


We reside up the highest mountain in Canterlot, six miles below the surface of the Earth

How can you possibly be up the highest mountain in Canterlot, while simultaneously six miles below the surface of the Earth? Unless the highest mountain in Canterlot is six miles below the surface of the Earth, which in itself is a paradox. If the mountain in Canterlot is six miles below the surface of the Earth, and the distance difference between the Mountain and the Surface of the Earth is constant, then whenever the mountain moved itself into the Earth, the ground would move along with it, as it is "The highest mountain" implying that it is the highest point on the Earth. This would continue until the Earth imploded.

4423857 He could buy into the Hollow Earth Theory.

Holy Thread Necromancy, Batman!


The haters can hate all they wan; but there fate is unevitable.... all will be pone- all will bow to Celestia!!! !:trollestia:

Thy must except there supiriiority;

752514 The downvote fairy disagrees.

Group Admin


Downvotes are the act of cowards, for they are the anonymous passive-aggressive mewlings of the pathetic. Any privileged, self-inflated idiot can cast a downward thumb at the hard work of others, and they frequently do.

When I see a downvote, on anything, for any reason, I see a man debased so low that he has finally shat his dignity in even bothering to press that button of shame.

If something made by unprofessional fans out of love is good, there is great reason to praise it.

If something made by unprofessional fans out of love is poor, it is to be expected.

Kicking the amateur down at all is like beating a newborn baby. It is not an action possessed of any courage or worth - it is the spite of a bully, so devoid of talent or honor that they find sport in pointing out the limitations of the crippled. Brave work, great warrior, thou has faced the unarmed and the weak and tipped them like cows to their injured sides. Songs... will surely be sung.

None of them flattering.

4426292 What about up-votes without a comment?

Group Admin


To quote myself - 'If something made by unprofessional fans out of love is good, there is great reason to praise it.'

An upvote can do no harm, thus anonymity behind it can do no harm, and it still can do good, for any praise is beneficial and kind, however slight. Even a passing wave from a stranger can make a day.

I have long argued that if a website must have thumb-votes, it should only have thumbs-up. It should only have the possibility of a positive anonymous vote, and never a negative one.

Those who are well appreciated will gain many up-votes, and those disliked, or arbitrarily hated, will simply have few. The message of who is preferred is communicated, just not in a toxic manner. The person with few up-votes can think they are still unknown, or they can excuse the lack in other ways, or they can try to change in order to gather praise - but in no way are they being beaten down. Their ego and self-image are not harmed, likewise their emotions are not hurt.

Some websites have chosen to implement just this system, many are corporate, professional sites, and several article have been written about why they find such a system desirable - the bottom line being that it psychologically reduces overall toxicity and negativity. Bullying overall goes down, just from this one single change.

The reason is easy to understand, and it comes from professional animal trainers. If you reward positive behavior, but overlook nondangerous negative behavior, and do not punish it, in the long run an animal will become not only better trained, but utterly devoted and trustworthy. The training truly sticks, and becomes part of their identity.

The animal associates only positive emotions with the trainer, and seeks always to gain even more reward. Animals are reward oriented, negative reinforcement is seldom useful, except with regard to truly dangerous behaviors where there is no alternative. Any negative reinforcement - punishment, which always means pain or discomfort - also always means resentment. Resentment is cumulative.

The only value of a thumbs-down is to cause emotional distress. It carries no other information. Just as a thumbs-up carries no other information beyond providing emotional benefit. Which is always good.

The best animal trainers only use positive reinforcement. It works, and it works best.

Humans are animals too, and it works on humans just as effectively.

4424764 I know, right? More than two years ago. Normally my sins don't follow me that far.

4426441 *shrugs* Most of these people will remain upset over even the littlest of things done a long time ago. But they must keep at it, for they must win. I was actually surprised to see this old thread again. So from what I've seen they're unhappy that this forum is gaining some activity, and now they fight necro-ing an old thread? *scratches head* :rainbowhuh: Good job?

4426429 This reminds me of some John 15:18-19 (Bible school sexy times with some of my per group at the time) about hate and how if you are not part of a group (the world) you get hatted on. Trying to stay on thread and not get off it. Something like that?

Wish positive reinforcement would work on me like this. I have a hard time believing someone if they said a did I good thing even if I know it's true. Get this feeling in me that you don't really get better. You just forget. Well, I do. Hopefully. Not really happy with internet message boards. People change - words don't. Contradictory ideas there I just stated. Like being confused.

Wonder if it's because I don't take enough time to "digest" ideas and messages. The only points I can remember off had about your post without looking (no cheating) are:

1.upvotes are ok to productive/good

2.downvotes are not productive/bad

3.train animals with positive behavior and ignore bad stuff

4.some online places only have upvotes (because of social science)

5.humans are an animal

Anyhow, I wonder if hate is in part of bad eating or too much eating. To sound less dumb: Hate can be caused by not thinking, really thinking about the idea you thought you saw.

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