I have a question that I feel warrants asking.

I must begin by confessing that English is not my native tongue (though I am quite fluent in its written form), and so I often find myself struggling to convey, in English, what would normally be so very easy to express in Deutsch.
I fear that, despite my best efforts, I might be prone to the over-utilization of the comma in my work.
I find myself using a comma every time I pause to ponder over the structure of a sentence.
There is also a chance that I subconsciously do this in order to avoid creating a run-on sentence.

Such an example can be seen in the following selection of paragraphs.

Nature has a way sometimes{,} of reminding us all of just how small we really are. She occasionally throws up terrible offspring’s of our pride and carelessness to remind us how puny we really are in the face of a tornado{,} an earthquake{,} a hurricane or a flood. Our reckless ambitions are often dwarfed by their consequences. But now{,} with this latest travesty laid against her{,} she had finally had enough – no longer could she live in harmony with those who sought to tame her for their own ends; the bomb had awakened nature’s wrath{,} and with it her greatest agent.

For on that desolate island which had once been a wellspring of life{,} there lived a creature the likes of which none on Equis had known – a bygone relic of a previous age{,} from a time before either Horse or Dragon{,} Griffon or Camel{,} Bull or Buffalo had ever come into being. It was the last of its kind{,} and it had been in slumber for eons; content to let time pass it by in its perpetual state of blissful slumber. But the actions of that day would forever change it{,} and the world.

Slowly it awoke{,} and slowly it realized that it was in agony – its very soul seemed to be on fire as a burn unlike anything it had ever experienced seemed to seep into every bone and facet of its body. Already{,} massive contusions of keloid scarring had replaced what were once pristine scales and bony plates. Its spinal column was wracked with a whole new level of pain as its back seemed to split in twain and reform into a maleficent parody of its former self.

But perhaps most painful of all was the strange{,} foreign sensation of a pain not its own – images flashing before its mind{,} none of which were familiar to the creature. But as the visions began to blend further and further together{,} one image alone stood out – that of strange{,} four legged creatures. They were everywhere and wherever they went, only pain and devastation followed; they warped and contorted the natural order of things to suit their own needs{,} and what they could not bend{,} they would break.

The final image to cross its mind{,} in this strange sort of extra-awareness{,} was that of a flash of brightest light and the sound of a hundred thousand roaring fires echoing the screams of agony that the creature now felt. In its mind there could be no other explanation{,} the cause of its woe{,} and indeed the woe of the entire world{,} was this strange race of quadrupeds who sought to command even the heavens themselves.

Within the beast’s heart arose a black spark of raging hatred for these pests{,} and it quickly caught and grew{,} until its very soul was a conflagration of malice! The pain and suffering it felt that day would be avenged a hundred-thousand fold; of this it was most assured. With a mighty upsurge of righteous fury{,} the beast let loose a booming{,} metallic roar{,} as its horribly mangled body finally gave out beneath itself. How it had survived may never be known{,} but on that day a god of destruction had been born{,} and in the years to come{,} the heart of every creature on Equis would tremble in fear at the sound of its very name!

As I have clearly denoted, there are exactly thirty-three commas in that entire selection, with an average of six commas per paragraph. To me, this seems far too much for both casual and conventional writing.

So, the question I pose is this - how many commas can there be in any one sentence? How many ought there to be in any one paragraph? When do so many commas become too many commas? Do I attempt to refrain from using them quite so often? Or should I worry less about it that I currently do? I sincerely wish to know.

Sometimes, the use of your word choice has lead to the necessity of your use in commas. For example, the first sentence:

Nature has a way sometimes{,} of reminding us all of just how small we really are.

Has prompted the use of commas after 'sometimes'. You can eliminate this by simply not using the word 'sometimes' and contract the sentence so that it is just:

Nature has a way of reminding us all of just how small we really are.

Some other examples within your sample are 'run on' sentences (which may be broken into shorter and clearer ones) and depending on whether you prefer using oxford commas or not, a necessity due to listing.

There's no guideline to how many commas are necessitated in a sentence or paragraph. The general principle is, for native speakers at least, is that when reading out loud, will the sentence require a pause for it to make more sense? That is how I usually differentiate for the need to insert commas.

Usually, if you feel like you are using too many commas in general, there might be a need to restructure sentences so that it flows better. Short succinct sentences are much more preferable than any comma-driven prose in my opinion. However, stylistically, you'll need to run this via a proof-reader/pre-reader to see if you are sane with your sentence choice.

3742070
If there's too many commas, you need to rearrange your sentence. You're choosing the wrong words to express it if you're overusing certain punctuation.

3742100

Usually, if you feel like you are using too many commas in general, there might be a need to restructure sentences so that it flows better. Short succinct sentences are much more preferable than any comma-driven prose in my opinion. However, stylistically, you'll need to run this via a proof-reader/pre-reader to see if you are sane with your sentence choice.

I could not have possibly explained it any better.

The first sentence, though... his correction lost a teensy bit of meaning.

Nature often has a way of reminding us just how small we really are.

That, to me, would work the best stylistically.

If you want a few more examples of where the issue is:

She occasionally throws up

It isn't necessary to include the word "occasionally." We all know that tornadoes aren't a 24/7 occurrence, and the "often" in the prior sentence denotes a non-constant. You don't need to reiterate it, thus repeating yourself, in the next sentence.

terrible offspring’s of our pride

*offspring

to remind us how puny we really are

This is a repeat sentence from the initial hook. You said small in the initial sentence, which makes this phrase highly repetitive. You can just cut it out altogether.

in the face of a tornado{,} an earthquake{,} a hurricane or a flood.

These aren't poorly placed commas at all. You include them in lists because you want to pause between words. Exclude the commas and you say, "a tornado an earthquake a hurricane or a flood." It just sounds like you're speaking too quickly. Commas denote a pause, so if it would be natural to take a pause there, you put in a comma.

But now{,}

It would be good to start a new paragraph here, actually. It seems like a change of topic here.

You're also not supposed to start a sentence with the word "But."

The rest of that paragraph is great. The commas being placed are great natural pauses, and I say it's good. Commas are good, but if you think you have too many, look into why you're pausing too much!

3742070
Commas are English's second most-used punctuation mark. In fact, most complex sentences contain them. You are nowhere near close to using too many.

3742294

>> Gustauve

If there's too many commas, you need to rearrange your sentence. You're choosing the wrong words to express it if you're overusing certain punctuation.

>> sunnypack

Usually, if you feel like you are using too many commas in general, there might be a need to restructure sentences so that it flows better. Short succinct sentences are much more preferable than any comma-driven prose in my opinion. However, stylistically, you'll need to run this via a proof-reader/pre-reader to see if you are sane with your sentence choice.

I could not have possibly explained it any better.

The first sentence, though... his correction lost a teensy bit of meaning.

Nature often has a way of reminding us just how small we really are.

That, to me, would work the best stylistically.

I suppose that you are correct in that regard. However, I intentionally wrote it as such because it is a direct transcription of a well known quote used at the end of a film that many of those readers familiar with the subject will instantly recognize.

If you want a few more examples of where the issue is:

She occasionally throws up

It isn't necessary to include the word "occasionally." We all know that tornadoes aren't a 24/7 occurrence, and the "often" in the prior sentence denotes a non-constant. You don't need to reiterate it, thus repeating yourself, in the next sentence.

Again, this is a direct transcription of the aforementioned quote. But aside from that, I find it much more correct in its logic; nature will occasionally come across as violent. You can count on your fingers the number of truly terrifying manifestations of nature that have occurred within the past decade, and it is under that subscribed notion that I would use the word regardless had it been a quote or otherwise... But I can understand it for the sake of simplicity; streamlining is important.

terrible offspring’s of our pride

*offspring

This is, again, another part of that quote I keep mentioning. I must also profess that what you have said surprises me, as there is a difference in the plural form of 'Offspring' in Deutsch, wherein the word Nachkomme {IPA: ˌnaχˈkʰɔmə}, meaning Offspring, Scion, Child, Descendant, becomes Nachkommen {IPA: ˌnaχˈkʰɔmən}, in order to take on the neuter plural form. While there is not direct correlative in the English language, I had merely assumed that it would take on the form of 'Offspring's'. I find that truly fascinating.

But now{,}

It would be good to start a new paragraph here, actually. It seems like a change of topic here.

You're also not supposed to start a sentence with the word "But."

I see. So I cannot start a sentence with a Conjunction? That is most strange... How then should I rephrase it without having to completely restructure the entire sentence? Perhaps I should remove 'But' and leave only 'Now'? I do not think it would take too much away from the sentence as a whole, though I wished to correlate the immediacy between the action and the reaction.

I am thankful for your input, as it has actually helped me understand a few key issues I sometimes find myself grappling with.

Danke.

3742294
I believe that I have found a solution to the first paragraph. It would appear that I had somehow gone from present tense to past tense mid-way, and so in order to coherently correct the sentence, and allow for the remove of that inappropriate Conjunction, I have reconfigured the entire last half of the paragraph to become present tense.

Nature has a way, sometimes, of reminding us all of just how small we really are. She occasionally throws up terrible offspring’s of our pride and carelessness to remind us how puny we really are in the face of a tornado, an earthquake, a hurricane or a flood. Our reckless ambitions are often dwarfed by their consequences. Now, with this latest travesty laid against her, she has finally had enough – no longer can she live in harmony with those who seek to tame her for their own ends; the bomb has awakened nature’s wrath, and with it her greatest agent.

3742070
What, is, this, nonsense, you, can, never, have, too, many, commas,

3743000

... I do believe that I see what you have done there.

3743047
Ah! A G-Fan! *high-fives*

3743073
Indeed.

In fact, that's partially the reason I started this post; I'm working on a Godzilla story on this site, and I want it to be as close to perfect as I can get it.

But yes, High Five.

3742070

I didn't take the time to go over the entire passage, as it was a mite purple for my mood at the moment. What I can say is that the first comma is actually missing its mate.

Nature has a way[,] sometimes{,} of reminding us all of just how small we really are.

Your desire to "pause" there is due to the fact that it's parenthetical information, which is, in narrative, denoted by having commas precede and follow it (though you may actually use parenthesis to show parenthetical information in most any case that it is not narrative). It probably feels like you're using too many commas because your sentences are, on average, too flowery. I had trouble reading through it in order to help you. There is power in brevity, and the fact that I'm following that powerful, short, punchy sentence with this long-winded, winding one undermines that fact, but when If you miss your mark initially, you can depend on repetition. There is power in brevity.

Oh, and as long as we're all playing co-authors, and throwing in our own versions, my preferred way would actually remove both commas and slide the "sometimes" over a word: "Nature has a way of sometimes reminding us all of just how small we really are."

You're also not supposed to start a sentence with the word "But."

But the only people who actually care about that are the ones who have an incomplete understanding of language in general and tend to be the same people who think that English should never evolve over time. Starting a sentence with 'but' is only really frowned upon in technical writing. However, since this is prose, the rules are a bit looser and you can ignore certain 'rules' (which are really more guidelines), in favour of personal style.

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3743598
Again, the first few sentences of the first paragraph are a direct quote from the 1985 American adaptation of GODZILLA (1984).

Please understand that I entirely agree with the fact that, on paper, what Raymond Burr says is grammatically incoherent. However, when applied to the context of how it was said, it makes for a powerful message.

3743265
I have indeed made the necessary corrections in punctuation for that particular line. I thank you in all sincerity for pointing that out.

3743598

I was not aware that such a convention existed.

3743598
3743957
Granted, you can throw away certain rules depending on the situation. If it makes sense, stylistically, to leave a conjunction at the beginning of a sentence--as in, it loses meaning to remove it--then you will leave it in.

If you're directly quoting something... you leave it in. If you're quoting the way a character would say something (as many people will speak using conjunctions at the beginning of a sentence)... you leave it in. If you're trying to senselessly increase your word count using throwaway words that add nothing and only show that you're unimaginative in how you craft your sentences, then by all means, leave it in.

A conjunction works as a way to join two sentences that would sound strange and break sentence flow otherwise with the intention to make the reading experience easier for the reader. If you put it at the beginning of a sentence as part of the narrative portion of a story, chances are you just don't have a firm enough grasp of the English language to find some way not to put a conjunction in the beginning. Start looking for alternative ways to start your sentence if you find yourself wanting to put a conjunction at the beginning, because it doesn't do anything for the sentence (since that isn't what conjunctions are for) and typically shows amateur writing ability.

I look forward to your weighty reply, Din182.

3744238

Wait...
Am I the amateur writer?
I am confused now; I had thought I possessed a fairly strong grasp on the English language.
Am I using throw-away words? I didn't think I was...
I don't know what to think anymore.

3745901
I'm not trying to insult you, friend. Definitely not my intention. Using conjunctions to start sentences is just something that breaks the flow of the sentence. I'm hyper-sensitive to sentence flow, and misspelled or out of place words stick out really badly to me. I guess, if you think your sentence doesn't feel right, but it looks right, I'd be able to tell you where the sentence flow is broken.

The average user won't pick up on things like conjunctions to start a sentence, but it will make the sentence unappealing to them all the same. I'm the guy who can tell you why something just doesn't work for whatever reason. It's not that you're not an excellent author; perhaps I used the word "amateur" mistakenly, as I haven't read enough of your work to make any kind of a judgment on your writing ability. I just notice the errors that make great stories good. Writing ability and familiarity with the rules of the English language are different things, and it would be wrong of me to try to say that you're not a good author because you started your sentence with a conjunction.

Sorry, I guess I got a little too into enforcing grammar. Someone was just trying to shrug off a rule of English that exists for a very specific and valid reason as if it wasn't necessary to have higher quality in a story, and simply put, he's wrong. You follow English rules because they improve readability. That is all.

3746570

I haven't read enough of your work to make any kind of a judgment on your writing ability.

Oh, here; this is what I actually have done, it may help you understand more about my style.

In my own language, I have a written technical manuals for the operation of firearms in the Bundeswehr. I have also written a small novel in limited printing for a charity event - I've been told that it reads very professionally. However, since this story is in English, I have no idea whether or not it comes across as well as it would in Deutsch.

You don't have to read it if you don't want to, but I am looking for people to help me find both spelling and contextual errors. Punctuation correction would be a plus, but I feel that I'm not quite ready for that; there is a possibility that such corrections would force me to completely overhaul several portions.

You seem to be the perfect candidate for such things, but I cannot force you to help me, much less read the story.

3747563
Yeah, I'd be happy to, but I am really lazy. It even says so on my user page.

3742070
Here is a quick and dirty list of rules for commas, in case you're interested.

If anything, the first paragraph in the quoted passage doesn't have enough commas. I've changed the color coding here. Green shows additional commas required, yellow shows an optional comma, and red shows incorrect comma use.

Nature has a way{,} sometimes{,} of reminding us all of just how small we really are. She occasionally throws up terrible offspring’s of our pride and carelessness to remind us how puny we really are in the face of a tornado{,} an earthquake{,} a hurricane{,} or a flood. Our reckless ambitions are often dwarfed by their consequences. But now{,} with this latest travesty laid against her{,} she had finally had enough – no longer could she live in harmony with those who sought to tame her for their own ends; the bomb had awakened nature’s wrath{,} and with it{,} her greatest agent.

I could go through the rest of the passage, but I won't have time until later.

3749960
There is no worries; I, too, am notoriously unreliable in doing anything on time. Procrastination is a strong suit in my repertoire.
Regardless, you are free to read the story or ignore it; I have no vested interest in the approval of my readers - I actually started the story as a means to anger fans of My Little Pony... Unfortunately, it turns out that there are several people who hold their love of Godzilla above their love of neon colored horses. So far, I have far more up-votes than I would like to admit to; I'd have preferred a great deal of hatred and anger towards me, as I live off vitriol. Sadly, Godzilla appears transcend the boundaries of fanaticism. Oh well.

3750052
I greatly appreciate it, and the link was most informative! I have found these various responses to be most agreeable in regards to my question.
Danke!

I seem to be having my own issue with commas. My main mistake is putting in commas where they are not needed. I am not talking about creating the infamous "coma splice" issue, but rather placing the commas in spots that are not needing them.

The current most issue is I messing with names being used/addressed. I had thought the golden rule was a comma after the word that starts before the name and a comma after the name. I am seeing sometimes where that rule is not always the case however and like I said, it is confusing me.

So, can someone explain to me the deal with names not needing comma in dialog?

3801693
These two links should help, but allow me to summarize them too.

If the name is the direct or indirect object of the sentence, it shouldn't have any comma before or after it (unless there are other reasons for them to be there). If the character is being addressed, there should be commas. Here's an example.

"Hey, Twilight, hold my drink while I shake some sense into Pinkie," Rainbow said.

Having read through it, you actually missed out some commas. If you don't like them, you've got to structure your sentences in such a way as to use as few as possible.