Doom, Gloom, and Fume: Expect No Petals From A Wilted Bloom · 7:24pm Jul 25th, 2022
Nearly five months to get myself mentally back together. The result? 😡 🔥 I'll let Marvin answer that one:
🌧 In fact, I might actually have gotten worse in the interim, not least of all because writing has dried up completely in the last few months and never recovered. This might be my least productive time in years. And that's not the worst of it.
💔 Worse than that, in recent weeks I've had to suffer the aftereffects of an unexpected family tragedy. My grandmother passed away long after she'd seemed to be stabilizing from various illnesses, before I could see her again. Despite my efforts to grit my teeth and face it - right up to buying a whole new wardrobe for the event to gain some semblance of control - I was not in any sense remotely prepared for the funeral. I still don't feel like I've fully internalized it. It was the eulogy that broke me, especially the later passages when I started to recognize her life story.
🤒 The horrible cherry on top? I barely made it through and had a chance to retreat into myself before I got hit with bloody COVID-19 for a week afterwards, scuttling any chance I had of finding any kind of inner peace. I still have some fever symptoms even now. What a miserable time I've had.
That should give you some idea of where my current mood is and why.
As for pony, absolutely don't hold your breath: this is far from the "triumphant return of Impossible Numbers" I was hoping for. My interest in the new show especially - as before - remains low. I'm just flipping a coin to see what might work at the moment, and to get out of my grind. 🔥😡
Might try some other blog posts, but until then...
Impossible Numbers, feeling thoroughly out of sorts.
My condolences. Here's hoping things take a turn for the better soon.
Take care. Enjoy what you can, and feel no obligations.
Aw. I truly wish things were going better for you. I too hope things take an uptick sooner rather than later. As always, do what feels right, as regards here and elsewhere. Keep well, buddy.
aw, man :( condolences on your loss, and hoping things get better from here on out
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the world doesn't take any notice of whether or not we wish you better times ahead, but the world can shove it, as I'm wishing you better times ahead anyway.
I don’t really have good words but I’ll say you’re one of my favorite writers and it’s alright if you need to prioritize your own mental health over writing ponies on the internet
Just a general update to say: thank you all. I'm feeling less unstable than I was a few days ago - not 100%, but enough to calm down and gain a little more perspective on what I'm doing - and I apologize for blanking your comments for so long. It really was a relief to hear from you all again. I'm intending - well, hoping - my next blog post finds me in a better mood.
Now for more specific replies:
5675095
At least I appear to be past the worst of my illness, and coming to terms with the rest. Time isn't the best medicine, but it has its uses.
5675096
"Enjoy what I can" is an unofficial credo of mine, heh. Learning how to deal with pressure, too - you'd be surprised how much of it is self-generated.
5675104
Improving at least, you'll be glad to hear! I'll send you a PM again, keep our old chat ticking over.
5675136
That's very kind of you. Thank you. I won't go into too much detail, since it's mostly a private family matter, but I'm at least reasonably confident my grandmother would not want me to mope. Besides, life goes on and we must march to its beat, and other pragmatic things.
5675153
The world has a lot to answer for, but since it's the only one we know of for sure, might as well do what we can. And it can't be all bad, considering there are some good people in it.
5675172
Well, priority is the compass on the roughest seas. Still, I do want to get back into writing without adding to the stress, so we'll see. Thank you for your kindness.
Wanted to make sure everyone got their dues. Thank you all again for your messages. This has indeed helped, and from here I intend to take my (admittedly slow) recovery further.
Condolences, first and foremost, and I'm sorry you've had such a rough journey, physically and mentally. We're always moving, but sometimes it's hard to choose and maintain safe directions. Hoping you get some stability soon. Take care.
5678543
I don't want to go through all that again, and that's an official statement from me. For now, things are improving (the only way is up, eh?), but the last few months I'm taking as an ongoing warning to myself.
Thanks. How's things on the frontline where you are? Seems pretty quiet from here.
5678565
Glad to hear you're in a better, or at least improving, place.
Yes, all things quiet for me. Writing still, when my new(ish) job and other hobbies permit, but not really here. Novel stuff, mostly. I have considered dabbling in a bit of G5 fiction, but none of the half-ideas have motivated me to put digital pen to digital paper yet.
N.B. Replaced the Marvin image because the old one became an invalid link, possibly deleted at its source.