) so I had to wait until it passed. Thankfully, it has, and my next one-shot story is planned to be out on either Friday or the weekend.Director's cut: Twilight & Spike Give Two Alicorn Princesses "The Talk" · 10:08pm Jun 25th, 2021
Oh, was this story fun to write!
A comment in my earlier story Rarity Gives “The Talk brought up how it would have been funny if Spike gave “the talk” to Twilight Sparkle and the Princesses. That kind of role reversal is something I’ve seen in a couple of similar stories, but I never saw a story that had Princess Celestia and Princess Luna not know where foals come from but Twilight did, and she had to tell them.
Once that idea came to me, I thought “why not take it one step further and have both Twilight and Spike try to tell Sunbutt and Moonbutt about the birds and the bees?” Thus, the idea for Twilight & Spike Gives Two Alicorn Princesses “The Talk” was born.
That said, how Celestia and Luna wouldn’t know about sex and foalbirth was something that I struggled to think of a way to be believable. One idea of Starswirl not telling them made sense (as far as comedy/random stories go), but it still felt just a tad too far-fetched that Celestia, being Equestria’s ruler for over 1,000 years, wouldn’t have learned the truth at some point. It even made me go back and forth a bit on if I should go with this story until I decided to just go for it.
At first, I was going to just count on the “Rule of Funny” and try to handwave Celestia’s and Luna’s ‘innocence’, but the idea of it being one of Discord’s tricks gave me a way to justify it. But at the same time, I thought that twist would have been a little predictable, so I adjusted it so it was all Fluttershy’s idea to get back at Twilight.
Now, how I first imagined how the story would end was quite different. I was thinking of having Cadance, also not knowing how foals are born, come on right after Twilight and Spike gave Celestia and Luna “the talk”. The story would have ended with Twilight about to ask Spike if he would help back her up, but find a letter where Spike was standing and it say something like “Not this time, but you got this Twi!” That ending idea was when I was going to handwave Celestia and Luna being clueless about foalbirth, so once I thought of Discord’s and Fluttershy’s roles, I changed the ending.
Something else I had trouble thinking up was how to get Celestia or Luna to bring up that they thought foals came from eggs. Luckily, the problem fixed itself once Discord was going to be in the story, but I’m not sure what I would have thought up if I never thought to use him.
If you read the “Director’s Cut” for Rarity Gives “The Talk”, then you’ll know that Starlight Glimmer laughing so hard her heart stopped was an idea I had in that story (but with Trixie laughing herself to death) but I had to scrap the idea because Twilight wasn’t an alicorn in Rarity Gives “The Talk”. I was going to stick with Trixie doing the laughing in Twilight & Spike Gives Two Alicorn Princesses “The Talk”, but at the last second, I swapped her with Starlight. Why, I’m really not too sure, and given Trixie's personality, even post-reformation, she probably would have worked a little better. Maybe it’s because Starlight’s higher on my favorite character list than Trixie, so it made me want to bring her into the story more. Or it was just a random choice.
The bonus chapter was a chapter I was thinking of writing, but I wasn't sure how high an interest it would have. So I held off and waited to see if it would be requested in the comments. Obviously, it was. I wondered about showing the aftermath about what happened even later on, but it would have required a 4th chapter and would have diverged into its own story. I also wasn't completely sure of how to handle it anyway, so I passed on trying to do too much with it.
As for any notable cuts and edits I made in Twilight & Spike Gives Two Alicorn Princesses “The Talk”, I made a lot overall, but most are very minor. Some stories have a bunch, but this one only has a very few worth mentioning in those “Director’s cuts” I like to call them.
The first one is a cut I did in one of chapter 1’s first few paragraphs. I mentioned that a reason Twilight was pushing herself to finally give Spike “the talk” was that Shining Armor had bet her 1,000 bits that she’ll never do it. I like it, but it felt like something that could be cut when I was working on trimming the story, so it got the boot.
A second noteworthy cut happened after Twilight and Spike reached Canterlot Castle. Originally. Twilight asked Celestia if she wouldn’t mind her staying with her as they waited for hints about their friendship mission and even get to see more of how her normal day goes. Celestia said she’d be happy to let Twilight stick around, and Twi even asked for some paper so she could “take notes”. Classic Twilight Sparkle there. When I started writing the story, I still had the original ending, which I already mentioned, planned, so this was meant to set up the joke with Spike quickly writing a letter saying that he didn’t want to stick around and give Cadance “the talk”. However, once I decided to change why Celestia and Luna didn’t know mares didn’t lay eggs, I cut it, even before I finished the story’s first draft.
A third cut was to how Twilight acted when she was trying to explain what sex is. Instead of trying to explain it, I’ll just show how it looked in the final version, then how it looked in the story’s second draft. Like with the first noteworthy cut, it was done to help trim the chapter, even if I thought it was funny.
Final version
“Sex?” Luna asked with a baffled frown. “It feels as if I should, but I do not believe I have ever heard of this ‘sex’.”
“I haven’t either, but then again, it is easy to forget things at our age.” Celestia giggled. “We are lucky that we can still remember what we have for breakfast, usually. Twilight, in case Luna and I simply forgot, tell us more about sex.”
“Have you ever had it?” Luna asked. “Does it feel good?”
A whimper escaped Twilight’s lips, even if she couldn’t escape. ‘I should have let Starlight tear Starswirl the Bearded’s scroll in the past.’
same part, second draft
“Sex?” Luna tapped her chin. “I do not think I have never heard of this ‘sex’. Have you, Sister?”
“No, but it does feel like I should. Then again, it is easy to forget things at our age.”
“‘Tis a good point. We are lucky we can still remember what we had for breakfast...most of the time. Twilight, in case Celestia and I forgot, tell me more about this ‘sex’?”
“Sex is...it’s when a stallion and mare bang and...” The willpower Twilight battled with shattered into a million cowardly pieces. She levitated Spike onto her back and quickly said, “Uh, the details aren’t important, I think I’m going back to Ponyville. The friendship problem we needed to solve should be solved now. Let’s go, Spike.”
Celestia asked, “Wait, what is this ‘bang’ you spoke of? I am afraid that we may require more information about it. How does it look or feel?”
“Does it feel good?” Luna asked.
A whimper escaped Twilight’s lips, even if she couldn’t escape.‘I should have let Starlight tear Starswirl the Bearded’s scroll in the past.’
Oddly, only chapter 1 has any changes notable enough to worth bringing up.
On a final note, while I love reading “the talk” stories and had a blast writing this one and Rarity Gives “The Talk”, I don’t know if I’ll write another one, unless a good idea comes to mind. A possible prequel idea I considered was a story that showed Rainbow and Fluttershy giving Spike “the talk”, but it’s looking unlikely that I’ll write it. I currently have no ideas for other “the talk” stories.
I haven't forgotten my version that I call Twilight finally gets "The Talk"
It takes place before/after the events of when we first meet Flurryheart and she accidentally destroys the crystal heart.
And just like in the episode everyone will be there. Twilight's friends, Cadance, Shining Armor, The Royal Sisters, Night Light, and Twilight Velvet. The setting is absolutely perfect.
Twilight would be curious to know if theirs a difference between normal pony eggs and an Alicorn egg. Seeing that Cadance is the first Alicorn to have a baby, and after meeting Flurryheart; the first natural born Alicorn. Only increase her curiosity.
Thanks to the destruction of the crystal heart. Twilight had to put her questions on hold.
Time skip ahead. Twilight along with her friends and family are eating together and it's during this time that Twilight finally talks to Cadance about her egg, which of course leads to her learning the real truth and more, like how did Twilight not learn the truth some other way?
In your second story. Fluttershy pulled off that trick because Twilight was avoiding her responsibilities. In my it would be her parents who are the irresponsible ones and won't have anyone else to do their job for them.
I still plan on writing it. I just have been working on other stories.
That do sound like a fun story!