My mother broke her hip · 8:17pm Dec 19th, 2020
This is all I know.
I got.a call from her at about 10:30 last night. She told me that the staff was trying to hurt her. This isn’t the first time she’s made a claim like that, so I tried to calm her down. At most, I got her to disconnect so we could both supposedly get some rest. Also, she wanted me to look up ‘evert’ on my phone. I tried to explain that I don’t have that kind of phone...
At 7:02 a.m, the memory care center called.
Around 6:30 this morning, my mother attempted to escape the building. She found a door which would open, and she used it. Apparently this door was alarm-rigged, but not locked or passcarded in any way. (I don’t think she has the capacity to plan an ID card theft right now.) She got outside.
So anyone remember that big snowstorm which hit most of the seaboard?
She stepped onto ice and went down.
The fracture is at the top of the femur. (I have not seen the X-rays: the results were only described.) It does not extend into the joint, and there is no break of the pelvis itself — that I know of. They have tried to get her into a CAT twice, and she was moving too much for a scan. Currently, the many, many sedatives they tried to give her may have finally taken effect, and I’m trying to get her back for a third try. I am also asking, over and over, for an MRI, because her spine has to be checked for fresh hairline fractures.
She has been begging me for help for hours, and most of that was in asking me to take down the bed rails so she could stand up.
...yeah.
In between those requests, she would recite her mobile number at me. And whenever I stepped out into the hallway for a minute to preserve my sanity, I was told that I was violating covid protocols.
Yes, I’m at the hospital. (For about six and a half hours now.). The memory care center was calling not just to tell me what had happened, but to ask where I wanted her sent. This is her primary facility, because I want her main doctor to at least have access to test results. So far, this has meant absolutely nothing.
I just signed the paperwork to admit her. They’ll be taking her up to the pre-surgery ward as a just-in-case. A one-to-one has been assigned. This means I’ll be shifting out of the ER in the next few hours.
I was able to get at my Discord password from the tablet and will try to provide more updates in the Discord server after I’m told additional news to share. Right now, everything depends on the CAT. (The MRI has not been ordered and if they can’t get her to complete a CAT, they won’t order an MRI.) The CAT is what determines if she needs surgery.
Without surgery, the fracture may take six or more months to heal.
She was barely walking when her pain was up before this.
They just took her out for the third attempt at the CAT. Still half-asleep, but she’ll wake up in a hurry when they try to move her.
That’s all I know.
I don’t know how she reached that door.
I don’t know why it was unlocked.
All I can do now is wait.
I'm sorry about your mom. I hope she can recover soon from her injury. I'll be praying for her.
There is a point where fighting the system just becomes impossible... You seemingly have to fight the medical institutions, potentially fight on a judicial plane (POA), fight the bank/finances to make sure everything is affordable, and even fight your own mother to get the things done that need to be done. Partly you're even fighting yourself with your insomnia. And now mom has seemingly found ways to escalate that. Being bedridden and still trying to get up cause of dementia does not bode well for the recovery time.
You need help... Call her brother and see if he has a means to assist (even if it's for a limited amount of time) by potentially boarding and thus being in the same house for a while or something.
It'll give you some relief, a means to vent (beyond what venting you do on here and over the phone), and gets someone else in the know of what you're actually facing and trying to do. Reading about it, or hearing it through a phoneline just doesn't have the same impact as actually living the nightmare. At the least it may help your mother calm down seeing a face that isn't the enemy (you) that is attempting to care for her.
That sounds like a fire exit door, based on the alarms and lack of locks. They have to be there, and they can't be locked, per regulations. Unfortunately, that creates a bit of problem in this case.
God that's awful. I'm sorry. I'm praying for you both.
At least this is something they can't possibly deny, right? (I await learning how they tried to)
I really want to just give you a big hug
Probably meant as a fire escape.
Locking them is a BIG No-No.
So sorry to hear this. Good vibes and best of luck, for whatever positive outcomes there might be.
At least this should mean they're not going to release your mother back home. If at all possible, try to get some sleep once the immediate emergency is past and the situation clears a little.
Ugh, sorry to hear about that, Estee. I know from experience—being both a patient and an observer—if a patient wants to get out of bed and go somewhere, they will find a way. At least you're there now. Here's hoping your mom gets what she needs ASAP.
I’m with 5418257 on this one - you NEED a break before you drive yourself into a hospital bed. Call your uncle, or any relative or friend who might be able to give you a respite no matter how brief, and just a bit of well deserved TLC. Get help from your community, church, social assistance, charitable organization, or anybody with whom you could share your burdens, even if just for a bit.
Best wishes to you and your mother. I know how hard it can be to live with a loved one while dementia slowly takes hold.
Just because we all seize onto different things... 'evert' means
to turn (a structure or organ) outward or inside-out.I am concerned on her behalf as to where she heard that word to be curious about it.Also, I was under the impression that, while Fire Escapes cannot be locked, they are almost always WATCHED.
Well now, this is absolutely their fault, time to find a lawyer.
I'm very sorry to hear that happened to your mother.
Was her bed not alarmed to notify the nurses' station if she tried to leave the bed? One of my relatives had his bed alarmed because he was having balance issues as he recovered from surgery. If he tried to stand up, the nurses were there within seconds to gently put him back into bed.
Oh, your poor mother... my heart goes out to you both.
Be praying for both of you.
5418310
In my grandmother's nursing home, a silent alarm went off whenever she got out of bed