Sample of chapter 27 of "Caught and Punished"

Good news for if you felt chapter 26 of Caught and Punished was too short: chapter 27 will be one of the longest chapters of the whole story up to this point. It looks like it will be very close to, if not over, 7,000 words and may surpass chapter 18's 7,373-word count when it's finished.

The downside is that it's making the editing & proofreading go painfully slow, despite not having the kind of trouble chapters 24 & 25 gave me. I'm not even sure why it feels like it's going so slow this time. I almost want to just rush this chapter out later today and be done with it. But I won't, and will be out in another 2 or 3 days.

However, I will give a taste of what's coming by leaving the first 1,200 or so words of chapter 27.

*Starlight’s POV, first-person*

I could barely believe it. I was walking to my parents’ door. This time, it wasn’t a dream.

I felt a little bad asking Sam, Twilight, and my friends to come all the way out to Sire’s Hollow, even Sunburst. I know they told me they didn’t mind, but I’m a full-grown mare. I shouldn’t be dragging them all over Equestria like this. Sam was even fighting dizzy spells for me, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something else was wrong. He didn’t say it, though, and it’s not like he lies to me much. He hardly ever does. Maybe it was in my head.

No matter my guilt level, they were out here now. That made it even more important to make up with my parents.

I walked up the steps and, for a moment, stared at the door. It didn’t suddenly feel bigger like it did in my dream, so that at least was a good sign. I knocked on the door -- at my normal strength -- and waited.

The door opened, not as slow as it did in my dream. Didn’t have to wait forever for it to start opening either.

Once that door fully opened, I was face-to-face with my dad. His mane style was similar to mine, so that was something this and my dream shared.

“Hi,” I greeted meekly.

“Starlight? Is that you?”

“Y-Yeah, it’s me. Been a long time, hasn’t it?” I asked. It was like my lips smiled on their own, even if it were a nervous one.

I prepared for him to frown, or even scowl at me. He did frown, but no scowl came with it. I’d take it.

“Wow, Starlight! It has been a long time. I’m...glad to see you.”

“You are?” I asked. 

“Of course!” He actually smiled a little. “Sure, we didn’t hear from you for a...few years, but I’m sure you were off doing your own thing. I see you changed your mane style to be more like mine and...wait.” He pointed at my neck. ”Is that a collar on your neck?”

I tapped my collar. As I often do at this point, until he pointed at it, I forgot I had it on. “Yes, and I know it might look weird, but--”

Behind my dad, deeper in the house, walking into the living room, my mom came into view. It was like the wind was knocked out of me by how the nerves of seeing her hit me.

“Who’s that?” She laid a hoof on her cheek and stared toward us, or me. Somehow, it felt like it was only my mom and me here. “Wait...Starlight?”

I gulped and nodded. “Yep. Starlight.”

“Oh...well, good to see you,” she said, seemingly nonchalantly. She looked away for a second.

I could feel it. She wasn’t as nasty as in my dream, but she wasn’t happy. That alone cut a bit of fear into my heart. No, I couldn’t be scared of my mom. Even if she hated me, she wouldn’t want to hurt me over it. I hope.

I slowly turned around to my friends. My dad was fine, but facing my mom was harder than I would have liked. If I was on my own, I might have cut my losses and left.

“Uh...hi there,” Twilight said, waving a greeting hoof toward my dad, as if she knew she needed to do something. I was so glad for her to try to ease things, even if her smile had nervousness all over it.

“Oh, Princess Twilight? Is that you?” my mom asked in a more friendly tone. “What brings a princess such as yourself out here?”

“I've become pretty good friends with Starlight, so I...thought to accompany her when she said she wanted to come. Uh, nice day, isn’t it?”

I suppose we were still sticking to the now-classic “Nice day, isn’t it?” icebreaker question.

“Um, yes! It is,” Fluttershy answered.

“And I hear old stallion Jenkins is doing pretty good,” Pinkie chimed in. Guess most of us were sticking to the classic question.

I expected Sam to join in, but he just stared at my mom and crossed his arms. Something was on his mind, but what? I would say he was mad at her, but he never showed signs that he was, and I doubt they had met before.

My dad glanced behind me and toward Sunburst. “And Sunburst? Is that you over there?”

“Yep.” Sunburst took a quick look behind him. “My mom...isn’t around, is she?”

“No, she’s at her house, I think. You still don’t get along?”

“Nope,” Sunburst answered with a frown. Once I saw my dad, I forgot about Sunburst being worried about running into his mom.

“But where are my manners? Who are the rest of you?” he asked San and the others. “My name is Firelight Glimmer, and my wife here is Starshine Glimmer.

“My name’s Sam, Firelight.” Sam took a step closer and just seemed to eye both my parents, but especially my mom. I thought he would have called my dad “Mr. Glimmer.” Then again, maybe it’s because humans always call others by either their first name alone or their full names? There’s still a lot about human society that I don’t know.

The others said who they were, one by one, but none of them gave any glares like Sam did.

Sunburst took a look behind him and asked, “Uh, Mr. Glimmer, you mind if I...hide inside for just a little while?”

“Sure, and it’ll be nice to have you back. You always loved coming here to spend time with Starlight and to get away from your mom.”

“And...I suppose the rest of you can come in, if you like,” my mom said. At least she didn’t sound angry or even annoyed.

Sunburst zipped by me to get inside, but then the rest of us went into the house and into the living room. Sunburst wanted to stay away from his mom even more than I thought.

Inside, Twilight sat on a chair, Sam and I sat together on a couch by that chair, and the rest of my friends stayed standing. My mom and dad sat in two other chairs across from me, but we were half the length of the room away. Mom had four pink teacups, one was half-full, on a table beside her chair; I figured she put them there because she was always the one to do so. It was only now that I noticed that Sam’s living room is close to the same size as my parents’ living room, but a bit larger.

It might have really only lasted fifteen or so seconds, but the silence felt like it lasted for hours. Sam was tapping a foot and had his arms crossed. My friends were either rubbing the floor, taking peeks in seemingly random directions, or just stayed still. My mom took glances at me, but was mostly looking away. It was like she didn’t want to look at me, but why? Was she that mad at me or even hated me? Maybe she didn’t like that I was wearing a collar, though if that were the case, she would have told me to take it off.

If things didn’t feel awkward enough, chills flooded through me that wasn't just because of my parents. For some reason, it felt like we were being watched. I didn’t know nerves could even have that effect.

Comments

[ThePinkedWonder]

5385177

I haven't decided yet. I'm actually going to make another similar post in a week or two to give anyone that either didn't see it or thought of new ideas a chance to give them. I'd probably make my choice(s) at around the 15th or so of next month.