“The Long Bone” · 6:58pm Sep 24th, 2020
No, it’s not a metaphor for 2020. It’s a literal bone. It’s in my foot. And it’s too long. That’s a problem, both for Shimmy and me.
It’s enough to stand and face the troubles of the day when you can literally stand and face them. (I’m being dramatic—I can stand, just not get around very well.) But it’s been six months of being on my back foot (as it were) while 2020 dropped its load. My planned hiatus ran (or walked) into the new realities of COVID-world. One of our kids got a diagnosis that throws their future independence into question (though their feet are fine). The roof and furnace noped out in quick succession. My creativity has been at a (proverbial) standstill as I’ve tried to shuffle through this with one leg tied behind my back (this metaphor is degrading faster than my plantar plate).
Why do I walk you through this? (Terrible, I know.) Cuz Shimmy. You’re here for horse, and I’ve been off-course, and lately have not wrote much horse, of course. That is, of course, a meta-phorse, that I've beaten Mr. Dead.
Yes, these are the fingers that gave you To Serve In Hell’s Cheese Sandwich
But why tag Time Enough For Wub with all this?
Well, Time Enough For Wub helped me find a more authentic voice. Both as an author, and as a person. It’s a story with shortcomings. The voice has some of those, too. But one thing it has going for it is a passionate, impulsive Vinyl Scratch, who jumps at what feels right to her with four hooves and zero hesitation. I’m not that person. I don’t think I would want to be, entirely. I value thoughtfulness; I backslide into caution. But channeling that voice opened up something new and vibrant for me.
Lately I haven’t jumped much at all, either physically or mentally. Nor have my fingers. But there's one thing that may yet prove an equalizer: the power of names.
Once we could name the problem facing our kiddo with the uncertain future… at least we could start to understand what our family is up against. Once we knew the furnace was leaking CO… guess it’s time to go after the insurance again about the roof. Similarly, there’s tremendous power in knowing that my foot’s not just “tweaked,” nor that a few more Advil will fix it... I probably need surgery to cut that long-azz bone down to size, and fix the stuff it mangled in its podiatric reign of terror.
Naming it doesn’t fix it. But I walk you through this so you know where I stand (or sit). The voice is more present when I know where I'm at. And as for Shimmy? Well, she has a story that she wants me to tell. She’s really quite insistent that I tell it. I think I’ve made my peace with her that I will.
Though perhaps we’ve compromised a bit on timing, given how much of a bone this year has been.
Naming the problem doesn't fix it, but it does at least tell you what to fix. It's why the horror movie monster goes unseen for so long; the unknown's almost always more terrifying than something you can identify, quantify, and otherwise put into context.
Sorry your 2020's been even more terrible than average. Here's hoping things take a relative upswing in the near future as you take the steps to resolve the issues you can.
Knowing what you're facing doesn't make it better, but at least you know and can form a plan and make decisions. It's far better than facing a situation with nothing to go on.
Good luck with your child and the surgery on your foot. And thank you for the horse puns. I hope they made you smile writing them as much as I did reading them.
Remember, we're all here for you, in thought and in any way you and yours might need. That's how we are here, you know.
2020.
Well, on the plus side feet, roofs and AC/Heating systems can be repaired or in some cases replaced. Admittedly, it tends to be at a cost more than any of us would like to pay but they can be dealt with. I've had to do similar and while it wasn't a cost I was looking forward to but you do the best you can and adjust as you can.
As far as futures go no future is certain. All that is certain is what is in front of you and what you are doing. I know it's cliche but you just have to take things one day at a time, one lesson at a time and who knows things may very well work out better than you anticipated.
All the best to you and yours!
It costs us nothing to stay subscribed to an author we enjoy. I am still subscribed to the makers of quill and blade despite them falling off the world and many others.
You take your time and get ok mentally, physically, house wise, etc.
More than your stories I want you to be good.
I wish you well and thank you for the update.
5363289
Thank you. We fear what we can't see and don't understand. Knowledge can bring its own pitfalls, but in this case it's indeed worth something.
5363405
Hopefully 2021 makes this year look like a bizarre memory that we can collectively second-guess ourselves about having. I miss getting to connect with the community in-person as well as online. Certainly not everyone makes it to every con, but it's been great meeting you and others and seeing who turns up at each.
5363659
I'm trying to find that meme of the 12th Doctor saying not to go back to 2020...
5365819
Just got the new furnace hooked up today. Man it feels good not having to worry about that. Better even than the cannonball-sized hole in the savings account feels bad.
5367958
You're very kind indeed. I am, as always, hoping to emerge from this hole bearing the tales I've found down at the bottom of it.