Raw script · 7:00am Sep 16th, 2020
I don't share these often, but when I do, they're usually awful. No, I don't need helpful criticism such as, "Hey, those look a little unfinished." Or, "Maybe you should make a few more passes before you post that." Oh, oh, OH! The ever-so-helpful, "That looks like all telling and no showing." People are so helpful. But, every so often, I feel brave (or hopped up on the Devil's Jitter Beans) the migraines of the past don't feel quite so threatening.
Scene setting: Sundance is holding Sparrowhawk, who had a rough day and bit Corduroy because she was sad. He is attempting to console her, but she feels bad about what she's done. Sundance too, is feeling out of sorts because of all that has happened.
Corduroy: How are you feeling, Sundance?
Sundance: (while holding Sparrowhawk) I'm feeling a little horse, actually.
Corduroy: You can be thrown out, you know.
So... for those not in the know, this is what a story looks like in its rawest, most basic form. With time and effort, this will get filled in, get some set dressing, some quotation marks, and maybe even a change in the dialogue. All this exists to do is convey an idea. This one scene might get fluffed out as much as 500 words or so, once the full and final scene is wholly written. Or less. It might be less. But it could also be more. Once, I had a tiny scene like this one all framed out, and when the whole thing was finally said and done it was almost 1500 words.
And then, because it was garbage, I trimmed about 1200 words away, didn't like what I was left with, and cut the entire scene completely. It never saw the light of day. This is why writing sucks, ladyfolks and gentlegonks. Just because you make output doesn't mean you have results.
Interesting.
Neat, thank fer sharin'!
Anyone who’s ever read a Hollywood shooting script will know just how far those are from a novel or what ends up on screen. It’s really just an outline... and yours has more in it than the Hollywood variety. It’s remarkable just how much is generated on-the-fly by the director and actors; as well as what happens (or doesn’t) in the edit bay (it’s often been said that Star Wars went from hokey to epic in the edit).
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I treat my ponies like actors. Sometimes we argue over creative differences. Sundance is easy to work with.
Others... not so much.
10/10 Punning there! I would wanna hug Sparrowhawk for such a cute moment too but I prefer not to be cannibalized thanks.
Thank you for reminding me about Gonks... That's a nightmare from the early 1980's that I'd all but forgotten!
Masterful punning there. Will but patiently await the next chapter. Hope all is going well on your end.
That's pretty much the way my drafts go when I'm running at Muse-driven full speed. You get things like raw dialogue with no attribute tags or quote marks and things like 'rarity moves to window, threatens to jump, wait stop spike grabs by tail' etc... When I'm cruising at *normal* writing speed, you could almost mistake the writing I leave behind as finished, except for the typos and clumsy phrasing. When the Muse is avoiding me, I go back over the drafts and clean it up, moving sentences around, correcting typos, heightening the tension. When the Muse flees, I turn on Netflix and watch Japanese manga.
Mine I think are even more brief. Quick line about what point a to point b are we doing, and what (if any) subplot continues to develop.