Review #11: Through the Veil - Masterius · 12:47pm Apr 30th, 2020
I read: Completed at 1 chapter, 1.8k words
I rate: 7/10
I recommend: Read if you like Luna
Have you ever died before? Might just be me. It's like a dental appointment, really - you don’t want to do it but, sooner or later, it is either that or all your teeth fall out. Jokes aside, you might as well make something of the occasion, typically only happens once now, like get a lollipop from the nurse or tell your waifu you love here. I’ll give you one guess as to which happens in today’s story.
Our OC today is Timothy - he’s a brony, dying, and remarkably eloquent too. Reminds me of myself, save the failing mortality aspect. Anyhow, he awakes in a funny-looking field somewhere and would you have it, Princess Luna is there too. The rest of the plot follows our guy explaining the glories and wonders of the night to second-best princess and doing wonders for her lack of good self-esteem. That’s about it, but that isn’t only it.
What redeems this story from forgettable, in fact what elevates it to fantastic in many people’s eyes is the fact that Masterius does his imagery here better than Nabakov and his language better than Wilde. He knits metaphor to meaning artistically and both his actual writing and what dialogue there is are on point constantly. Even if little of consequence is going on - especially now at the series’ end when Luna has retired and thus solved her character arc - the actual style itself was enough to keep me invested.
Plot: 3/5. Human OC meets Luna and shares some words of waifu devotion that have not aged too well.
Characters: 3/5. Timothy and Luna are both likeable but I had trouble telling the former from any other OC and Luna had so few lines it was hard to really gauge her character here.
Style: 5/5. The writing here is engaging and illuminating, the imagery is on point and the descriptions do stand out.
Execution: 3/5. Heartwarming one-shot about a dying man’s last words to his favourite character is heartwarming, but the unsubstantial premise lets down the stellar writing style.
Overall Rating: 14/20 = 7/10
To Masterius: Apologies for the wait on this review. Still, good work. You have a serious knack for imagery and sincerity in your work and it was a pleasure to read. Personally, I’d recommend to possibly flesh out the characters a little more in future as I just felt that a man’s dying wish being to tell a cartoon character she had real worth all along wasn’t unrealistic, not in this damn fandom, but felt a little contrived in its message. Of course, you can’t account for time and neither can I and if I reviewed this back in 2014, it’d likely have hit a lot differently.
For something like this: My Little Dashie. If you haven’t already, read this classic. Also deals with an OC human having some awfully sweet moments with the canon cast.
As always, thank you for reading. After completing my other last few projects, I’ll be quitting the fandom. It's been a good ride, but the station is here now and I should move on.
