Review #8: Guppy Love - PaulAsaran · 2:56pm Mar 21st, 2020
I read: Completed at 47k words, 7 chapters
I rate: 9/10
I recommend: Read it
How much did I enjoy this story, you ask dear reader who’s probably very annoyed at the month-long drought of content? Well rest assured I’ll tell you, dear reader, and before April too. Honestly, this story actually inspired me to try to write my own novel with a similar premise. That much. Look out for it after you’ve bought PaulAsaran’s own original fiction alter first.
Now that I’ve sung my praises, let me justify them real quick. Today’s story is a romance, almost. Technically its a failed romance - spawned, like I presume mermaids are, off by everyone’s favourite background pony/human Applejack paying a visit to Fluttershy’s beach house as to try and move on past her parents’ traumatic deaths. There she finds a wounded and washed-up, as in beached not past her time in the spotlight, Rarity who she attempts with significant help to nurse back to health and possibly romance. The first occurrence happens, the second one alas does not.
And if you know me, you’d know that I’m quite partial to a good tragedy. Of course, what makes a tragedy good is largely down to reader preference, although I’d personally say that solid characters are a must. PaulAsaran’s are bedrock here. Applejack is who really holds this story together - without her, there wouldn’t be one - and she does so by being the typical farmgirl we all know and love, except now with a side more emotional than 90% of the canon ever let us see. It works; she’s sympathetic to a T but never overly pessimistic or depressive and the reader can really root for her romance to succeed. Of course, it doesn’t - that brings me to Rarity, who’s still a glamorous and dignified person, only now in a situation that interprets that all very differently. If the cover art didn’t give it away, she’s also a mermaid. Props to the rest of the cast as well, all of whom have been adapted to the AU seamlessly and all of whom are relatively likeable to boot; twist ending characters included.
Otherwise, the writing itself here is certainly worth mentioning. It's intense, but never overwhelming. Flashbacks, repetition, italics and generous descriptions abound to generate what is truly my favourite story of 2019. Everything important really feels as such, and the dialogue is not slouch either - especially in regards to the interesting mermaid language Rarity and Sweetie Belle speak.
Plot: 4/5. It works, it works well. Rarity’s journey to recovery coupled with AJ’s ensuing infatuation with her is paced well and internally consistent, my only complaint being that the introduction was quite slow to start with.
Characters: 4/5. Of course, Applejack stands out here as the sympathetic protagonist still grieving the deaths of her parents - she’s likeable and understandable without being overly pessimistic. Rarity and Fluttershy are also of note, especially as the ever-so-slightly-not-canon aspect of the story forces their characters into drastically different roles in the plot.
Style: 5/5. I have no complaints with style here whatsoever, and PaulAsaran’s attention to detail and use of repetition, flashback, and expression to create an unforgettable story is something I’m still trying to get a handle on in my own work.
Execution: 5/5. A flawed romance in story, flawless out of story.
Overall Rating: 18/20 = 9/10
To PaulAsaran: Great work here, sir. Best fortune for you in terms of converting this to original fiction. I really enjoyed this and actually snapped it up for review within seconds of you requesting one. For improvements, all I can objectively say is to perhaps trim down the introduction chapter as it lacked some of the tempo the rest of the story possessed.
For something like this: The Farmer & The Mermaid, likely because of the same excellent cover art, also deals with a mermaid Rarity and a human AJ in a romantic context.
As always, thanks for reading. Apologies for the late review; I’ve been busy with university work and a pretty hectic personal life but expect my last few at a better pace now that I’ve actually got some free time for this again.
Many, many thanks for the glowing review! It was certainly worth the wait.
My only concern at the moment is in expanding the content, which I fear is ruining the pacing for the original fiction version. But I aim to get some pre-readers to help me smooth those kinks, so hopefully it won't be too much of an issue.