Stupid Unicorn Tricks 1 · 9:19pm Jan 2nd, 2020
(In continuity with the other convention posts)
Spike was out, enjoying the convention, a pouch full of bits from his allowance being delivered to him early. He was on top of the world!
Snips: "Hey Spike! Hey Spike!"
Well, that was a quick trip to rock bottom. Spike sighed.
Spike: "Hey Snips... Enjoying the convention?"
Snips: "Oh, completely! Hey! You wanna see my dad's demonstration?!"
Spike: "Your dad's got a demonstration? Of what?"
Snips: *Grins harder* "Just wait and see! Come on!" *He galloped off, and Spike ran to keep up*
Soon, they made it to one of the sandy arenas: This one was full of logs of freshly cut wood, and a few boulders. Snips leaned against the wall, grinning widely with his buckteeth. Across the arena was a large, grayish-opal, fat unicorn who resembled Snips strongly save for his cutie mark and sports jacket. There was a taller, slimmer unicorn too, same coloration, with a healthy stubble and the same mane color, who looked about as easy to knock over as a pile of sticks. They were arguing over something in front of a small dressing tent.
Spike: "So... Is that your dad?" He pointed at the two unicorns.
Snips: *shakes his head* "Nah! Those are my uncles! That's my dad!"
A tall unicorn emerged from the dressing tent. He had the same fur coloration as Snips, but his hair was black and tied in a topknot. He was build like a tree, strong and sure. He wore a white kimono, with the symbol of a circle cut into four equal shapes-It formed a cross. He pulled on a wide straw hat, too fast for Spike to see his eyes.
Spike: "... That's your dad?!"
Snips' uncles immediately stopped arguing, and stared up at the taller unicorn. They looked embarrassed, and under their elder brother's gaze, they shook hooves. The unicorn nodded, and slowly trotted into the arena. A few other ponies were watching, interested. A Neighponese mare with pale white fur, a short black mane, and a chrysanthemum cutie mark cheered.
Mare: "HOORAY! GO FOR IT, RONIN!"
Snips: "GO FOR IT, DAD!"
Ronin: "Long ago, unicorn Bladecasters kept the peace. They trained endlessly to keep the peace and bring justice. To protect the innocent. Now, those arts are used to create, rather than protect. But they stay the same."
Spike: "He's... Intense."
Snips: "Oooh, wait for it, wait for it...!"
It was then that the unicorn pulled his hat off. He revealed his horn was quite long, but Spike wasn't paying attention to that. He could only focus on the stallion's eyes: They were hard, focused, and strong-Like solid stone. He stood in front of a log. His horn glowed... And he moved. He blurred, and came to a stop on the other side of the log.
The log... Came apart into hundreds of perfectly cut, smooth cubes.
There was a great deal of applause. Snips and the mare trotted out happily to hug Ronin, who returned it. Spike was still gaping, even as he slowly walked over at Snips waving him over.
Snips: "Dad, this is my friend Spike! Spike, this is my dad Glasscutter-But he goes by 'Ronin' when he's performing like this."
Spike: "I... Wait. Glasscutter the actual glasscutter?"
Glasscutter: "I cut more than glass. Metal, wood, stone-But I like to go by Ronin out of respect to the wandering samurai of the past."
Mare: *chuckles* "You look so cool like this... But remember we need to sort out the receipts for tax time!"
Glasscutter: *Louder, almost Jamaican accent* "Ease off woman, I've got it covered! Don't bite like a green snake!" *He coughed and resumed his previous cool, stoic tone* "I mean, I will see to it soon my darling."
Spike: "I... That was neat." Just gives up. This was Ponyville, after all.
Glasscutter: "Thank you!"
Snips: *grins* "He's so cool...!"
Magnificent. I can only imagine what Snails's parents are like.
Snips and Snails need more character and love.
I can only hear Samurai Jack as his Dad.
Given that the few times fandom has ever touched the families of Snips and Snails, they make them total nincompoops, this is a fine corrective. And the idea of unicorn blademasters sounds like it has some great potential.