The story that destroyed my ability to write

I can't write anymore. I can't do anything anymore. I'm stuck on this story, and I can't finish it, and I can't write anything else until it's finished. I hate it, I hate writing, and I hate myself. I fucking wish I'd never started it. It's a monstrosity, like me, and I just don't know what to do with it.

Comments

[ChudoJogurt]

Same thing here.
A sane decision is to put it into cold storage and write something else. Insane (and my) decision is to persevere and hope that quantity somehow will become quality.

[BatwingCandlewaxxe]

5121848

That's the problem, I cannot seem to write anything else right now. I just keep thinking about this one. It's annoying. Being in one of the worst depressive episodes of my life is definitely not helping; and is keeping me from doing pretty much anything at all right now except work and sleep.

persevere and hope that quantity somehow will become quality

Perseverance, study, and practice are the only path to becoming a good writer, definitely.

[ChudoJogurt]

5121898
You can train on something else and come back to it, but yeah, I feel you. Same thing for two years now, sans the depression. It's just...maddening.

[Hap]

Yeah, that's tough.

Try writing a flash fic or doing a speedfic competition. It's a much smaller commitment, and can help break you out of the rut.

[BatwingCandlewaxxe]

5125210

I tried that, and it cemented for me the fact that I cannot write fast. I suck even worse than normal. It takes me months to even hash out a story concept to the point I can start to put anything down on electronic storage media.

I think in this case it's more clearly the SAD than anything else that's the problem. That and losing focus on what the story was originally intended to be and letting things get too far out of hand. Job stress is definitely not helping with the depression, but it looks like the higher-level managers are finally pulling the heads out of their asses, giving us the headcount we need to handle the workload, and implementing an actual training program (which I'll be involved with). Once the stress is relieved a bit, I think I'll have more energy to get back to the serious writing, and not just whinging in blog posts.

[Hap]

Well, I hope things do work out! Sometimes you can't get the story out of your head until you write it.