What is the actual point, you idiot

MrNumbers has made an excellent video that says a lot of things that I would like to say, better than I could ever hope to say them. Link below.

https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/952734/productivity-and-burnout

I'm sure there are a few others here who can relate to this.

I know no one actually pays attention to these things, so I'm not sure why I post them, except that I don't know what else to do. There's certainly no reason anyone should actually care about anything that goes on inside my brain.

I don't really know anything except that I'm just so tired I'm losing the ability to cope with day to day life anymore. I've lost the ability to do anything fun, all I do is work and chores and a tiny bit of distraction when I cannot function anywhere near well enough to do work or chores. I'm pretty much an alcoholic at this point, and as bad as that is, it's probably the only thing left to me that I can still enjoy even a little, the gross physical pleasure that numbs the pain and despair I feel every other waking moment.

Anyway, I can't seem to say anything right anymore because I'm just too tired to think clearly, and I can't see any way that will change.

And no, I'm not looking for expressions of sympathy, because it's utterly and completely pointless. If that's all you have to offer, then... well, save it for someone who could use it. I have no sympathy for myself, and there's no good reason anyone else should have any either. All I want is something I'll never have -- understanding.